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Genuine relationship question
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So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED | |||
"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED "hes wrecking his own relationship..what a twat..no trust in her, rather listen to 'friends' gossip..live in the past blah blah. if he doesn't want to push her away i suggest, he sorts his own shit out.. | |||
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"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED "as you say it was before they were together so is nothing to do with him and his relationship with her....these things happen, its all about finding out who is or isn't right for you and obviously this man wasn't right for her... that should be the end of the discussion and your friend should accept what she says and let it go | |||
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"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED hes wrecking his own relationship..what a twat..no trust in her, rather listen to 'friends' gossip..live in the past blah blah. if he doesn't want to push her away i suggest, he sorts his own shit out.."That may be a bit harsh, but yeah, the crooks of it is there and that's pretty much what I said to him! Thanks | |||
"I understand that he obviously had strong feelings for her, but whatever she did before they got together is surely none of his business." This! They weren't together, him having it `eat him up` that something more happened, before he was her partner, strikes me as a tad obsessive at best, and controlling at worse She did right not answering in my opinion, because it sounds like with his attitude, she's dammed if she did, and dammed if she didn't. He's already basically said he doesn't believe what she's told him? | |||
"I understand that he obviously had strong feelings for her, but whatever she did before they got together is surely none of his business." True, and this is in the original post and he did say that himself | |||
"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED
as you say it was before they were together so is nothing to do with him and his relationship with her....these things happen, its all about finding out who is or isn't right for you and obviously this man wasn't right for her...
that should be the end of the discussion and your friend should accept what she says and let it go"Yep, again, pretty much what I said to him! I think he shouldn't push the issue, it will only end up in a row. I just wanted to know that I had said the right thing. Thank you | |||
"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED hes wrecking his own relationship..what a twat..no trust in her, rather listen to 'friends' gossip..live in the past blah blah. if he doesn't want to push her away i suggest, he sorts his own shit out..
That may be a bit harsh, but yeah, the crooks of it is there and that's pretty much what I said to him! Thanks "im not known for placating people x you are welcome. my other piece of advice is tell him hes a dick and then back off, from the situation.if he talks to you about it, dont go over old ground.just say its not up for discussion any longer..dont enable..xx | |||
"I understand that he obviously had strong feelings for her, but whatever she did before they got together is surely none of his business. This! They weren't together, him having it `eat him up` that something more happened, before he was her partner, strikes me as a tad obsessive at best, and controlling at worse She did right not answering in my opinion, because it sounds like with his attitude, she's dammed if she did, and dammed if she didn't. He's already basically said he doesn't believe what she's told him? " Yeah, I guess it does come across like that, but I think it was less "I don't believe you" and more "sooo many people had said the same thing" Of course, I told him to ignore the rumour mill, and he said he would have if everyone had a different story but they hadn't lol Meh, men!!! | |||
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"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED hes wrecking his own relationship..what a twat..no trust in her, rather listen to 'friends' gossip..live in the past blah blah. if he doesn't want to push her away i suggest, he sorts his own shit out..
That may be a bit harsh, but yeah, the crooks of it is there and that's pretty much what I said to him! Thanks im not known for placating people x you are welcome. my other piece of advice is tell him hes a dick and then back off, from the situation.if he talks to you about it, dont go over old ground.just say its not up for discussion any longer..dont enable..xx"Yeah, I don't think he will bring it up again! I told him what I thought, he took it in and I'm convinced he will leave it now! Just wasn't sure if I was right, but general consensus would say I am phew lol | |||
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"I understand that he obviously had strong feelings for her, but whatever she did before they got together is surely none of his business. This! They weren't together, him having it `eat him up` that something more happened, before he was her partner, strikes me as a tad obsessive at best, and controlling at worse She did right not answering in my opinion, because it sounds like with his attitude, she's dammed if she did, and dammed if she didn't. He's already basically said he doesn't believe what she's told him? Yeah, I guess it does come across like that, but I think it was less "I don't believe you" and more "sooo many people had said the same thing" Of course, I told him to ignore the rumour mill, and he said he would have if everyone had a different story but they hadn't lol Meh, men!!! "I'm sure he will be heartened to know you are garnering opinions from a bunch of random people on a swingers site  | |||
"Tell him to move on which he should have done yonks ago.That was then and this is now she chose him even though he seems to need a good kick up the arse. "Yes, quite! I also used that very "she chose you dick head"
I will swiftly kick his ass for you next time I see him | |||
"I understand that he obviously had strong feelings for her, but whatever she did before they got together is surely none of his business. This! They weren't together, him having it `eat him up` that something more happened, before he was her partner, strikes me as a tad obsessive at best, and controlling at worse She did right not answering in my opinion, because it sounds like with his attitude, she's dammed if she did, and dammed if she didn't. He's already basically said he doesn't believe what she's told him? Yeah, I guess it does come across like that, but I think it was less "I don't believe you" and more "sooo many people had said the same thing" Of course, I told him to ignore the rumour mill, and he said he would have if everyone had a different story but they hadn't lol Meh, men!!!
I'm sure he will be heartened to know you are garnering opinions from a bunch of random people on a swingers site "Haha yes, but in my defence, all I was asking was if I had said the right thing to him! a simple yes or no would have sufficed but who am I to stop you guys telling me your thoughts? lol | |||
"I understand that he obviously had strong feelings for her, but whatever she did before they got together is surely none of his business. This! They weren't together, him having it `eat him up` that something more happened, before he was her partner, strikes me as a tad obsessive at best, and controlling at worse She did right not answering in my opinion, because it sounds like with his attitude, she's dammed if she did, and dammed if she didn't. He's already basically said he doesn't believe what she's told him? Yeah, I guess it does come across like that, but I think it was less "I don't believe you" and more "sooo many people had said the same thing" Of course, I told him to ignore the rumour mill, and he said he would have if everyone had a different story but they hadn't lol Meh, men!!! "he's deliberately sabotaging his relationship. He doesn't believe her plain and simple and he's going to keep on until she either get sick of it and walks away or tells him what he wants to hear (because he does want to hear that more went on). he needs to get a grip either by himself or with the help of relationship counselling. | |||
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"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. " Ok, just to clarify, this hasn't been a constant thing, it's come up literally just now, I'm not fully sure how, but I asked him this and he said it's the first time they have discussed it! Secondly, no, I'm not going to be keeping my eye out for "coercive behaviour" I know what you are getting at, but I know them both well enough | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. " yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about. | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. Ok, just to clarify, this hasn't been a constant thing, it's come up literally just now, I'm not fully sure how, but I asked him this and he said it's the first time they have discussed it! Secondly, no, I'm not going to be keeping my eye out for "coercive behaviour" I know what you are getting at, but I know them both well enough " You know what they allow you to see and what they tell you. If you trust that this is, as he says, a one off then you needn't have raised this on here at all. You would have put it out of your mind. Something about this is troubling you and that is why you are questioning whether you said the right thing. Either that or you were looking for a little drama to keep you entertained reading responses to your 'friend' question. | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about." Oh wow, you guys are making it sound like he's at risk of beating her!! | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. Ok, just to clarify, this hasn't been a constant thing, it's come up literally just now, I'm not fully sure how, but I asked him this and he said it's the first time they have discussed it! Secondly, no, I'm not going to be keeping my eye out for "coercive behaviour" I know what you are getting at, but I know them both well enough You know what they allow you to see and what they tell you. If you trust that this is, as he says, a one off then you needn't have raised this on here at all. You would have put it out of your mind. Something about this is troubling you and that is why you are questioning whether you said the right thing. Either that or you were looking for a little drama to keep you entertained reading responses to your 'friend' question. " Oh god, here we go, the one that jumped on the "friend" bandwagon! If you care to have a read, I just wanted people's opinion on whether I had said the thing to him to just fucking leave it well along and crack on with life!! So no, nothing is "troubling" me at all! Thanks | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about. Oh wow, you guys are making it sound like he's at risk of beating her!! " I was in a relationship where no matter what I said there was no reassuring my partner about things he had imagined and grown in his head based on nothing more than passing comments. Abuse doesn't have to mean beating but emotional abuse and coercion can so often look like caring and concern to those on the outside of the relationship. | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about. Oh wow, you guys are making it sound like he's at risk of beating her!! " I didn't suggest that at all. However from what you tell us he is constantly questioning her about something that happened before they got together. He canvases friends opinions on something that happened over 13 years ago. That isn't the behaviour of someone who loves their partner. | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about. Oh wow, you guys are making it sound like he's at risk of beating her!! I was in a relationship where no matter what I said there was no reassuring my partner about things he had imagined and grown in his head based on nothing more than passing comments. Abuse doesn't have to mean beating but emotional abuse and coercion can so often look like caring and concern to those on the outside of the relationship." Ok, I get where you are coming from, however, you're gunna have to trust me on that one! It's fine | |||
"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about. Oh wow, you guys are making it sound like he's at risk of beating her!! I didn't suggest that at all. However from what you tell us he is constantly questioning her about something that happened before they got together. He canvases friends opinions on something that happened over 13 years ago. That isn't the behaviour of someone who loves their partner. " No no! Please keep reading! It's not constant! | |||
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"He sounds insecure and, out of that, controlling. I'm not surprised she didn't respond because anything she says will just fuel him to keep on raising it. Thirteen years of reassuring him is more than enough. I'd suggest you back out of giving him any more advice around this because if you've ever been even mildly flirty with the wife then he's likely to grow that into something in his head. Keep an eye out for put downs and coercive behaviour towards her. yes I agree with that. He's looking for back up from friends to justify his imagined suspicions. She's the one I'd be worried about. Oh wow, you guys are making it sound like he's at risk of beating her!! I didn't suggest that at all. However from what you tell us he is constantly questioning her about something that happened before they got together. He canvases friends opinions on something that happened over 13 years ago. That isn't the behaviour of someone who loves their partner. No no! Please keep reading! It's not constant! " its constant questioning in his head if its not directly to her. I'm out of this one. | |||
"Once that jealousy seed is planted it's never going to go away if he is so insecure. It's part of his personality and you can't change that" This is very true! I think he needs to learn to leave pointless stuff alone tho | |||
"Far too much to read for this time of the day! Is the correct answer "grab her by the pussy and fuck her in the ass?"" Hahahahahaha Oh god, that made me full on chuckle | |||
"Once that jealousy seed is planted it's never going to go away if he is so insecure. It's part of his personality and you can't change that This is very true! I think he needs to learn to leave pointless stuff alone tho " Will he be able to.. I don't think there is a cure for jealousy or insecurity | |||
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"Once that jealousy seed is planted it's never going to go away if he is so insecure. It's part of his personality and you can't change that This is very true! I think he needs to learn to leave pointless stuff alone tho Will he be able to.. I don't think there is a cure for jealousy or insecurity" I think he will, he doesn't have a choice lol | |||
"Before I start, I know what this site can get like, so please no hate and no this is not for a "friend" it is a genuine conversation I had with a friend
So, I was having a few beers with said friend at the weekend and he bought something up with me that surprised me, I have him my advice but now I'm questioning myself! (Never done that before)
He has been with his wife for about 13 years, they're both mid 30's and like a lot of couples knew each other before getting together!
One night (before they were together) they were at a mutual friends house party, he liked her (loads) before she knew by the way, and something happened between his wife and a friend of there's.
He told me that it still eats him up to this very day. Although she says that it was only a kiss and nothing ever happened after that (she didn't really like him) he thinks, because of the good old rumour mill amonst friends, that something more happened.
He was saying that they had this discussion a few weeks back and he explained to her that he finds it difficult because on one hand, he wants to know the truth, but on the other, if she tells him more did happen it would massively hurt him.
During this discussion he says to his wife, during a discussion around "the old days" it came up, "I'm convinced that something more happened and it kills me not knowing, but I think it would kill me to know if it did" - her reply apparently was nothing, she didn't say a word, so he immediately assumes something more did happen and she doesn't want to hurt him, that said, if she could hand on heart say nothing did happen then surely she would being as she knows that it eats him up inside!!
Before you say it, he also said to me "all of this bollox and essentially it has nothing to do with me because we weren't even together" but I think the fact that he loved her before she knew he did makes it difficult!
Anyway, sorry for the massive speech, my advice was, don't fucking force the issue, it will hurt more if she tells you more happened
Was I right?
NO HATE PLEASE - I'M TOO TIRED "He's got issues He will ruin the relationship Doesn't matter what happened before they got together | |||
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