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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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At what point should a man abandon his pursuit of a woman?
Ok, so no means no (sometimes when given as a non-response too), but at the same time, how many people found themselves satisfied by a potential suitor who they had initially spurned? I remember I once had a particularly nice meet with a girl who joked she only met me because 'I wouldn't give up!'
Surely a man who gives up at the first few hurdles, isn't a man at all? |
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It's a fine balance between persistence and being a pest. Some people have persisted and become great meets, others just get blocked for being a nuisance. All I can say is it's in the gut as to which side someone's on and it can tip over from one side to the other quickly for me |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"It's a fine balance between persistence and being a pest. Some people have persisted and become great meets, others just get blocked for being a nuisance. All I can say is it's in the gut as to which side someone's on and it can tip over from one side to the other quickly for me "
 Also that definition of being a man tagged on at the end?  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"going by the amount of very picky women on here why would a guy persist ! he'd be better off joining a bonafide dating site more chance of a leg over !!"
Bloody 'ell. Where's the reference to obese women not being allowed to be choosy? Or is that not part of this thread's rant? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"going by the amount of very picky women on here why would a guy persist ! he'd be better off joining a bonafide dating site more chance of a leg over !!"
...'quality'. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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" Also that definition of being a man tagged on at the end?
I wouldn't expect you to understand - most guys won't either."
Yes of course. Because only a man is defined by striving to achieve goals. And if a man fails to carry on doing so, he's less of a man. Slightly patronising, misogynistic. I could go on but I feel you have a skewed perception on the subject of men that's rather fixed so little point. |
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"going by the amount of very picky women on here why would a guy persist ! he'd be better off joining a bonafide dating site more chance of a leg over !!"
And with that attitude you're absolutely right not to persist  |
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By *iver2015Woman
over a year ago
middlesbrough |
"i love it when the female response is so highly biased ! the defense inbuilt mechanism is rather like the female spider !!"
Or like women who've put up with sexist dribble from mysogyinistic pricks for all of our adult lives.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At what point should a man abandon his pursuit of a woman?
Ok, so no means no (sometimes when given as a non-response too), but at the same time, how many people found themselves satisfied by a potential suitor who they had initially spurned? I remember I once had a particularly nice meet with a girl who joked she only met me because 'I wouldn't give up!'
Surely a man who gives up at the first few hurdles, isn't a man at all?"
The skill is in knowing when it's worth pursuing and when to stop.
That final sentence worries me. I can see what you're trying to say but there's a grey line between triumphing through adversity and becoming, well, a bit of an unwanted and unwelcome stalker.
When does persistence become refusing to accept rejection? It's a fine line.
Some ladies will enjoy the chase and being wanted. Others will be freaked out / frightened by an obsessive misogynist who won't leave them alone.
I don't think taking no for an answer makes anyone less of a man and it's slightly worrying that's what you seem to imply.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At what point should a man abandon his pursuit of a woman?
Ok, so no means no (sometimes when given as a non-response too), but at the same time, how many people found themselves satisfied by a potential suitor who they had initially spurned? I remember I once had a particularly nice meet with a girl who joked she only met me because 'I wouldn't give up!'
Surely a man who gives up at the first few hurdles, isn't a man at all?
The skill is in knowing when it's worth pursuing and when to stop.
That final sentence worries me. I can see what you're trying to say but there's a grey line between triumphing through adversity and becoming, well, a bit of an unwanted and unwelcome stalker.
When does persistence become refusing to accept rejection? It's a fine line.
Some ladies will enjoy the chase and being wanted. Others will be freaked out / frightened by an obsessive misogynist who won't leave them alone.
I don't think taking no for an answer makes anyone less of a man and it's slightly worrying that's what you seem to imply.
"
Quite right, the definition of what makes a man as stated by the OP is wrong. A little persistance might be acceptable in some circumstances but I would like to point out though that what makes a gentleman is knowing when to quit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At what point should a man abandon his pursuit of a woman?
Ok, so no means no (sometimes when given as a non-response too), but at the same time, how many people found themselves satisfied by a potential suitor who they had initially spurned? I remember I once had a particularly nice meet with a girl who joked she only met me because 'I wouldn't give up!'
Surely a man who gives up at the first few hurdles, isn't a man at all?
The skill is in knowing when it's worth pursuing and when to stop.
That final sentence worries me. I can see what you're trying to say but there's a grey line between triumphing through adversity and becoming, well, a bit of an unwanted and unwelcome stalker.
When does persistence become refusing to accept rejection? It's a fine line.
Some ladies will enjoy the chase and being wanted. Others will be freaked out / frightened by an obsessive misogynist who won't leave them alone.
I don't think taking no for an answer makes anyone less of a man and it's slightly worrying that's what you seem to imply.
Quite right, the definition of what makes a man as stated by the OP is wrong. A little persistance might be acceptable in some circumstances but I would like to point out though that what makes a gentleman is knowing when to quit."
Both answers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At what point should a man abandon his pursuit of a woman?
Ok, so no means no (sometimes when given as a non-response too), but at the same time, how many people found themselves satisfied by a potential suitor who they had initially spurned? I remember I once had a particularly nice meet with a girl who joked she only met me because 'I wouldn't give up!'
Surely a man who gives up at the first few hurdles, isn't a man at all?"
One chance and that's it, I would not demean myself by chasing any further than that! And would not pester the lady in question any more |
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"i love it when the female response is so highly biased ! the defense inbuilt mechanism is rather like the female spider !!
Or like women who've put up with sexist dribble from mysogyinistic pricks for all of our adult lives.
"
Haha, yeah that's more like it!  |
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"I am too proud to pursue someone who doesn't give a shit about me.
This.
Persistence and it's close ally neediness are unattractive qualities in either gender, IMO."
Ooh no, I need persistence - and in fact I think men need persistence on here. If I say no, I mean no, but until I do, I need someone to push on and swim to the front of the pack lol!!
I know it galls men to hear it but even after the obvious no's are rejected we still get so many offers on here, and in the initial conversation it is so hard to choose one ahead of another, and so we can end up NOT choosing anyone!!
To be honest I usually have an inbox full of similar ice-breaker conversations waiting for SOMEONE to stand out from the crowd and engage me!  |
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"i love it when the female response is so highly biased ! the defense inbuilt mechanism is rather like the female spider !!
Or like women who've put up with sexist dribble from mysogyinistic pricks for all of our adult lives.
"
This ^
Saved me typing it.
You're entitled to fuck all from a woman if she doesn't want to give it.
'Fine line' and 'grey area' arguments are often dangerously toxic too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I say 'no' then I mean 'no'.
That doesn't mean 'keep asking until I say yes', it means 'no'. Anything more becomes sexual harassment.
Indeedy "
No means no, absolutely, persistance should only follow a 'maybe'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?"
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too "
To be fair, this thread is mildly sinister. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too
To be fair, this thread is mildly sinister. "
It really isn't, but I've come to realise it's pretty pointless me explaining things on here, so I'll just say my bit and people can interpret it however they want - chances are they'll be wrong, but that's ok, it's the ones who understand where I'm coming from that interest me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Surely a man who gives up at the first few hurdles, isn't a man at all?"
I completely disagree here.
I have no interest or time for the whole playing hard to get carry on.
In truth I've found it insanely boring in the past. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too
To be fair, this thread is mildly sinister.
It really isn't, but I've come to realise it's pretty pointless me explaining things on here, so I'll just say my bit and people can interpret it however they want - chances are they'll be wrong, but that's ok, it's the ones who understand where I'm coming from that interest me "
You do realise that it's what other people think, as opposed to whatever is going on in your head that matters if you actually want to meet people, don't you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too
To be fair, this thread is mildly sinister.
It really isn't, but I've come to realise it's pretty pointless me explaining things on here, so I'll just say my bit and people can interpret it however they want - chances are they'll be wrong, but that's ok, it's the ones who understand where I'm coming from that interest me
You do realise that it's what other people think, as opposed to whatever is going on in your head that matters if you actually want to meet people, don't you?
"
I like the Dr Seuss saying
'The people who matter don't mind and the people who mind don't matter' |
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"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too "
Sorry my mistake Brain , is that Welsh ? |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too
To be fair, this thread is mildly sinister.
It really isn't, but I've come to realise it's pretty pointless me explaining things on here, so I'll just say my bit and people can interpret it however they want - chances are they'll be wrong, but that's ok, it's the ones who understand where I'm coming from that interest me
You do realise that it's what other people think, as opposed to whatever is going on in your head that matters if you actually want to meet people, don't you?
I like the Dr Seuss saying
'The people who matter don't mind and the people who mind don't matter'"
That's all well and good, but I think you need to get some help. You seem to have issues and I wish you all the best but I think that you need to realise that women have thoughts and feelings....
Seriously, talk to someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Brian ,
Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable and kind of creepy knowing you only got a meet by pestering someone ?
First of all, congratulations on your sharp, precise sense of humour, no one has ever called me Brian on here before, and of course I find it really offensive and it really cuts me down to size when people use it
She seemed to like me an awful lot in person, despite my creepy, pestering ways. Mind though, I find many people (not exclusively swingers) seem to grow a lot more fond of me once I get a little closer, and give them time to realise what I'm actually like - all with me only acting the same way and saying the same things throughout.
Maybe that comes across a bit 'worrying' about me though - mind though, fast cars, flying, alcohol, talking to new people (in person) and sex outdoors are worrying for a time too "
That seems a very defensive response. I thought your name was Brian too. My bad I misread your user name and it's possible that the person you are criticising did too.
Your opening comments said that a man who gives up after a few hurdles is no man at all.
Some of us have offered a different view and it seems you have taken offence, put up a barrier and hit out.
Isn't the point of a forum to debate and offer counter argument?
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