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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I was reading about ballop injuries and apparently it's quite a common thing so I figured there must be someone with a story about it in here...
Have you ever caught your bits in your ballop? Did you have to go to the docs or did you manage to free it all by yourself?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was reading about ballop injuries and apparently it's quite a common thing so I figured there must be someone with a story about it in here...
Have you ever caught your bits in your ballop? Did you have to go to the docs or did you manage to free it all by yourself? "
Ballop ? that scottish for zip ? if so i can recount a painfull tale lol |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I was reading about ballop injuries and apparently it's quite a common thing so I figured there must be someone with a story about it in here...
Have you ever caught your bits in your ballop? Did you have to go to the docs or did you manage to free it all by yourself?
Ballop ? that scottish for zip ? if so i can recount a painfull tale lol"
Spill the beans!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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here goes
A tale from a holiday back in the 80's when went to Ibiza I think with a few mates and whilst out one night got chattin to a girl who was workin in the local hotels ( childs rep or something) and after a few drinks were gettin good vibes so suggested we went back to the room whilst mates would be out drinking for a while yet. She agreed and was clearly as eager so i says One sec Ill just go for a pee and then we can slip away. Now I had decided to go commando and had jeans with zip fly ( never brought a pair of them since ) and in my eagerness to finish the pee and accompany the lady to the room before she had second thoughts I shook ... zipped .. and ARGGGGHhhh just caught the underneath of my memeber and nicked about half an inch of skin off. I looked around and saw some paper in the cubibicl so nipped in wrapped the injured piece in cheap loo paper and held firmly prayin for the trickle of blood to cease. After a bout 2 mins I peeled off the paper ( arrrghhh again it sticks and u have to pick the little bits off ) but it would have appeared to stop the flow.
Puttin this to the back of my mind I strolled out of the loo apologised for the delay to the girl and we headed for some fun in the room.
Back in the room , we got acquainted beeter and it was clear we had one thing in mind lol and she was horny eager and soon naked , I followed suit and as she was kissing down my stomach and I was stroking her tasty body it was this point that I wished I paid attention in Biology class back in school. As we all know now the male erection is caused by increased blood flow to the penis and the good ladies amourous attention had caused a fine flow of blood to my memebr ... and beyond ... she let out a squeal... jumped back and i looked to see my nether parts reddening faster than my face.
I had to tell her what happened and she was glad as she thought she had dug her nails in too much lol she applied germolene rubbed it better then dressed and we sat and chatted for the next hour or two ... and alas the cut didnt heal in the next three days and after that I was home and the opportunity lost ...
On the plus side I was gonna wear my chinos that night but chnaged my mind at the last minute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we go to Chams, I wear denim cut offs.
One time I was in the changing room when I caught the little fella in my zip. I bled like a pig, couldn't stop it.
Needless to say I take the zips out now when I cut the legs off  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been suffering a ballop strain for most of today ! A certain person has caused me unbridled sexual frustration leaving me walking wonky legged like Jock Wayne after his hoss has blootered him right in the chuckies !
I am now in fear of a serious ballop injury following the wank i must have soon , i may have to have an ice pack at the ready and prewarn A+E that i'm coming in for penile reattatchment !
*staggers about in flipflops* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was a story of a guy sitting nude on his plastic garden chair which he never realised had a split along it,and with the pressure of his weight on the chair the split became wider,the testacular area was in the split of the chair and of course when he tried to get up from chair the split closed in, rather like the "scissor action", ouch!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you go commando, there is a very simple technique to preventing those zip-AAAARGGHH! moments and that is to make sure percy is pointing down when you put him back. Most guys dress to the left, but being left-handed I dress to the right so it's a bit fiddly for me considering that trousers are made with the overflap of the zipper going from left to right forcing you to unzip with your right hand and drag the old fella out with your right too.
After you've done your business lift the leg you know he's going to be resting against when he's safely tucked away and give it a subtle little shake (this prevents splash marks leaking through too).
You can then zip up knowing that he's ok and you ain't about to slice his nose off.
For those men who don't go commando - there's no fookin excuse for abusing the litte man as your briefs/boxers should prevent the zip ever getting anywhere near your Trusted Friend and you need to back to nursery school to learn how to do it properly under adult supervision.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bunble LLoyd from Sky cricket tells a tale about the time he was struck by cricket ball with such force that it split his "gentlemans protector" and his "bits" fell through the split only for the said protector to snap back together...typing this with watering eyes just at the thought  |
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By *ucky_LadsCouple (MM)
over a year ago
Kidderminster+ surrounding areas. |
as a young teeneager i used to do cyclo-cross racing which is the forerunner to mountain bike racing only on skinny tyres!,we had to jump on and off the bikes at various obstacels round the courses and i jumped back onto my bike more than once and suffered a knacker trapped!.
not much fun at all i tell you!.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as a young teeneager i used to do cyclo-cross racing which is the forerunner to mountain bike racing only on skinny tyres!,we had to jump on and off the bikes at various obstacels round the courses and i jumped back onto my bike more than once and suffered a knacker trapped!.
not much fun at all i tell you!. "
Did the very same the other day!
Look for thread titled "OOOYAFUCKINBASTARDYE!" in the lounge forum if you fancy a laugh.  |
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