FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > On being ghosted

On being ghosted

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm sure we've all been there, you're chatting for a while and everything seems to be going great, you might even have exchanged some personal details. Then all of a sudden silence, you never hear from them again. It would at least be nice to know the reason why, have you made a mistake, gone too far or are they just plain bored? After all if you don't know why how can you learn. I think fabbers should behave as they would in normal polite society and at least say goodbye. It doesn't hurt and it's not nice to be left hanging. Thoughts on this please.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Suck it up princess. Also, ghosting happens in "normal" society.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sure we've all been there, you're chatting for a while and everything seems to be going great, you might even have exchanged some personal details. Then all of a sudden silence, you never hear from them again. It would at least be nice to know the reason why, have you made a mistake, gone too far or are they just plain bored? After all if you don't know why how can you learn. I think fabbers should behave as they would in normal polite society and at least say goodbye. It doesn't hurt and it's not nice to be left hanging. Thoughts on this please."

They don't owe you anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

so the momentum goes..it happens, suck it up and move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How you think fabbers should behave will have no reflection on how they do behave. It's really not worth stressing about what you can't influence

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

doesn't really matter what you did, it put them off you and this just means you're not compatible.

be yourself, don't change just to get a fuck coz i think that's sad. be yourself and find those you click with for the best fun you can have.

i get this a lot of dating sites, men stop chatting for no reason apart from they found someone else to chat to i'm guessing?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suck it up princess. Also, ghosting happens in "normal" society. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who cares, just move on to the next? They're not interested for whatever reason and you having an explanation isn't going to change that, sorry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree whith what has already been said. You cannot dictate how others conduct themselves on here so really no point worrying about it. This happens all the time, don't waste a nano second more of your time wondering why.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If you want to change one thing make it your expectations. Unless you're being horribly disrespectful or nasty don't change the way you are in order to continue conversations with people on the net.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Sometimes believe it or not, I lose track of the conversation and think they have gone quiet on me when in fact it was me, not everything is personally intended.....sometimes we just forget things

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By *uriousc88Woman over a year ago

Reading

"Suck it up princess. Also, ghosting happens in "normal" society. "

Not sure how that makes it okay? It just means non-swinging people can be insensitive cowards, too.

Ghosting is a horrible thing to do to anyone. It doesn't take much to say "I don't want to take this any further, but nice to have met you." Or similar.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I had no idea this was called 'ghosting'. You learn something new every day on here.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

My thoughts are that if a guy has said something to me that changes my mind completely about him, I am not likely to say so as, if I do, I'll bet 30 messages trying to change my mind, or 30 messages calling me up myself.

This isn't like ordering tea and cakes. If something is not going to happen then no amount of polite messages will change it. I find the men who message me go quiet quite quickly after I have made it clear I am not some kind of warm blooded sex doll. Suits me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes believe it or not, I lose track of the conversation and think they have gone quiet on me when in fact it was me, not everything is personally intended.....sometimes we just forget things "

This!

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Sometimes believe it or not, I lose track of the conversation and think they have gone quiet on me when in fact it was me, not everything is personally intended.....sometimes we just forget things

This! "

And I have probably missed out on a few gems because of it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens, you just suck it up and move on. Maybe they got a better offer or decided things were not going any where with you. Don't take it to heart.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)"

That was useful, not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My thoughts are that if a guy has said something to me that changes my mind completely about him, I am not likely to say so as, if I do, I'll bet 30 messages trying to change my mind, or 30 messages calling me up myself.

This. More often than not, verbally declining someone is just not worth the hassle, however polite you try to be.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)

That was useful, not."

There is nothing a Predator quote can't make more entertaining.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suck it up princess. Also, ghosting happens in "normal" society.

Not sure how that makes it okay? It just means non-swinging people can be insensitive cowards, too.

Ghosting is a horrible thing to do to anyone. It doesn't take much to say "I don't want to take this any further, but nice to have met you." Or similar. "

i agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Suck it up princess. Also, ghosting happens in "normal" society.

Not sure how that makes it okay? It just means non-swinging people can be insensitive cowards, too.

Ghosting is a horrible thing to do to anyone. It doesn't take much to say "I don't want to take this any further, but nice to have met you." Or similar. "

My thoughts exactly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)

That was useful, not.

There is nothing a Predator quote can't make more entertaining."

correct

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you want to change one thing make it your expectations. Unless you're being horribly disrespectful or nasty don't change the way you are in order to continue conversations with people on the net."

I didn't think my expectations were in any way unreasonable and it's certainly not because i've been impolite or disrespectful. So that just leaves boring, oh bugger.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)

That was useful, not."

lighten up.

maybe they stopped talking to you because you have bugger all humour...who knows?

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)"

I thought she was from Blackpool!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In an ideal "fab" world, we would all be polite and civil to each other and would, if not interested in taking things further, say so as to not leave the other person guessing. In response to this, the other person would gracefully accept that nothing more will come of it and both parties go their own seperate ways happily.

We all know that it isn't like this, on here or in the real world. Some people are so rude and abusive when politely rejected I can actually see why many just don't do it or, as some have said, they have genuinely lost track of a conversation or life has got in the way. In instances like you describe OP, I would leave it for a bit, then maybe send a message asking if all is ok and if they would like to take things further leaving the ball in their court. If you hear nothing back then leave them to it and move on, its really nothing personal 99.9% of the time.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

So many lovley people to chat to on here ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)

I thought she was from Blackpool!

wrong mac....unless my eyes are buggered she aint a black guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In an ideal "fab" world, we would all be polite and civil to each other and would, if not interested in taking things further, say so as to not leave the other person guessing. In response to this, the other person would gracefully accept that nothing more will come of it and both parties go their own seperate ways happily.

You're right and i do take it on the chin, please don't misconstrue my original post as whining and it's not my style to pester people when this happens.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey..you might not actually be being "ghosted".

People come and go.

I do it myself and have had it happen.

currently AM having it happen actually....

But that's how it rocks.

I'm just as fucking bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're right and i do take it on the chin, please don't misconstrue my original post as whining and it's not my style to pester people when this happens."

I wasn't aware I had misconstrued your original post.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

It happens all the time on every site - it's a function of lack of peer pressure - people can behave how they like on the net, but also of 'chat fatigue', you do get tired of endless ice-breaking conversations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get bored incredibly fast.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd rather not know. I have a lot of faults, i don't need feedback on them.

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

When we've taken the chat away from here, I'll give ghosters a week then block.

They frequently pop up months later when they're bored.

I'm nobody's afterthought.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You're right and i do take it on the chin, please don't misconstrue my original post as whining and it's not my style to pester people when this happens.

I wasn't aware I had misconstrued your original post."

Then you have my sincerest apologies, i was simply concerned that i might have come across that way.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"When we've taken the chat away from here, I'll give ghosters a week then block.

They frequently pop up months later when they're bored.

I'm nobody's afterthought. "

On the plus side they're never likely to meet so I don't have to expend too much effort on them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I've just ghosted someone - been chatting for nearly a week and still not physically met, despite living locally. He's happy to text for hours though, when we could have met in that amount of time.

I'm bored already. Deleted his number. Onto the next.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd rather not know. I have a lot of faults, i don't need feedback on them."

Haha, that's nothing, i have so many you could write a book. Maybe that's why i don't hear back - wrist ache.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When we've taken the chat away from here, I'll give ghosters a week then block.

They frequently pop up months later when they're bored.

I'm nobody's afterthought.

On the plus side they're never likely to meet so I don't have to expend too much effort on them."

Good point, nothing really lost then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/12/16 12:40:00]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He's happy to text for hours though, when we could have met in that amount of time.

{whispers}

[He's a Man City Fan]

...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suck it up princess. Also, ghosting happens in "normal" society.

Not sure how that makes it okay? It just means non-swinging people can be insensitive cowards, too.

Ghosting is a horrible thing to do to anyone. It doesn't take much to say "I don't want to take this any further, but nice to have met you." Or similar. "

Because he mentioned it about not happening in normal society.

But you didn't met them, you chatted online. As mentioned sometimes it hard to keep track of chats, or sometimes real life can take over and you forget about it.

People need to stop investing some much of their emotionally energy into online interactions, it's quite unhealthy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

{whispers}

[He's a Man City Fan]

Ha! He's a keypad warrior and sat at home wanking, more likely! I dunno! Past caring.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

{whispers}

[He's a Man City Fan]

Ha! He's a keypad warrior and sat at home wanking, more likely! I dunno! Past caring.

Oh good!

I'll put you on my hotlist.

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)

I thought she was from Blackpool!

wrong mac....unless my eyes are buggered she aint a black guy

She's had a few though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happens alot ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens because there's so many men to women on here, women are constantly getting messaged, men are just part of the scenery

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Women dont want to be second best on here, so when he stops messaging she thinks he has just moved on, and wont ever bother getting in touch, that's just the way it seems to work on here

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

For me I get so many messages from men who are keen to meet they say.

But all they want to do is chat endlessly and I'm not interested in that. Happy to chat if we met and get on and become Fab chums.

But I'm not here to entertain bored blokes. So I empty my inbox and await the next lot.

Have to say OP though, I love your hair

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

You have learned something - that youre not compatible now. A slap in the face could not be clearer.

Go to clubs and notice how people are willing to give you feedback to help you on your life journey. F. Off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For me I get so many messages from men who are keen to meet they say.

But all they want to do is chat endlessly and I'm not interested in that. Happy to chat if we met and get on and become Fab chums.

But I'm not here to entertain bored blokes. So I empty my inbox and await the next lot.

Have to say OP though, I love your hair

Thanks, it's all my own. I have to sat i don't strike up conversations unless it is with a view to meeting.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I wouldn't worry about ghosting. It's when they start poltergeisting and chuck things at you that you need to worry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For me I get so many messages from men who are keen to meet they say.

But all they want to do is chat endlessly and I'm not interested in that. Happy to chat if we met and get on and become Fab chums.

But I'm not here to entertain bored blokes. So I empty my inbox and await the next lot.

Have to say OP though, I love your hair

Thanks, it's all my own. I have to sat i don't strike up conversations unless it is with a view to meeting."

I find I'm open to chatting to anyone (who replies) and I'm never going to assume that because I'm chatting to that person it will lead to a meet. In fact, the last 2 meets I had I actually had no real intention of meeting them when I messaged, I just sent a compliment on their pics and it went from there. If you expect nothing on here then you're pleasantly surprised when something comes of it and not disappointed if it doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

their loss me thinks lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If one day they get back to you, let me know or give them the same treatment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This isn't ghosting either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Them* not me lol

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By *_89Man over a year ago

Here and there

It happens to the best of us. Try masturbating whilst using your tears as lube.. It helps me get over it every time

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For me I get so many messages from men who are keen to meet they say.

But all they want to do is chat endlessly and I'm not interested in that. Happy to chat if we met and get on and become Fab chums.

But I'm not here to entertain bored blokes. So I empty my inbox and await the next lot.

Have to say OP though, I love your hair

Thanks, it's all my own. I have to sat i don't strike up conversations unless it is with a view to meeting.

I'm just working on the assumption that if someone lives above a certain distance away then there's little chance of ever meeting and that they'd rather chat to men who are closer by.

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"'your ghosting us motherfucker, i don't care who you are back in the real world, you give our position one more time, i'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. got that?'

mac from predator =)"

Over here

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