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Men approaching men first
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm not quite sure. I guess it's to acknowledge both members of the couple and to not come across too strongly?
It irritates me when I go with my fb as I feel like a cow that's being discussed before auction. Or even worse, like my partner is ny agent and there is no agency on my behalf. It's not my partner's orifices they want but mine so I wish first contact was made with me. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm not quite sure. I guess it's to acknowledge both members of the couple and to not come across too strongly?
It irritates me when I go with my fb as I feel like a cow that's being discussed before auction. Or even worse, like my partner is ny agent and there is no agency on my behalf. It's not my partner's orifices they want but mine so I wish first contact was made with me."
I have had men ask my club/party partner of the night for permission to approach me or talk about me as though I am not there. I find it most irksome.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
If say out of respect and to be honest would expect any man to ask Mr.. same as I'd expect a woman to approach me first and obviously we do the same in return.
Ive been very offended when guys have spoken to me directly and ignored Mr being there. X |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I tend to ask both - though in my early time in scene i did approach man first  "
Asking both makes sense. Starting a conversation that includes both parties before going in for the kill is good manners.
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
It's happened to me a few times, to the extent where people have actually talked to the person I'm with as if I'm not even there or am some kind of toy to be loaned out (along the lines of "she's really pretty, do you think she'll mind sucking my cock?"). I'm still a bit shy at clubs (trying not to be but it's not easy to break years of personality foibles) and that's compounded by the fact people don't tend to approach me unless I'm obviously in play mode so I don't know if I give off a 'don't talk to me' vibe. |
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"I guess it may be due to the patriachal society we are living in. "
Oh no, not the patriarchy......
Maybe some men could be frightened to approach some females in case they are accused of harassment or the like |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
If say out of respect and to be honest would expect any man to ask Mr.. same as I'd expect a woman to approach me first and obviously we do the same in return.
Ive been very offended when guys have spoken to me directly and ignored Mr being there. X"
I'm not suggesting ignoring the man. Not all of us are in 'ownership' relationships.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
Because the male half will complain that single guys don't respect couples , if we talk to the female first. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"It's happened to me a few times, to the extent where people have actually talked to the person I'm with as if I'm not even there or am some kind of toy to be loaned out (along the lines of "she's really pretty, do you think she'll mind sucking my cock?"). I'm still a bit shy at clubs (trying not to be but it's not easy to break years of personality foibles) and that's compounded by the fact people don't tend to approach me unless I'm obviously in play mode so I don't know if I give off a 'don't talk to me' vibe."
I get more approaches if I go to a club with a man, albeit via the asking him first route. If I go on my own I am looking for some action but rarely get any.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Historically, men have controlled cultural constructions of woman and femininity, and have protrayed women's bodies as site of objectification... so it goes along with that sort of ideology.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
If say out of respect and to be honest would expect any man to ask Mr.. same as I'd expect a woman to approach me first and obviously we do the same in return.
Ive been very offended when guys have spoken to me directly and ignored Mr being there. X
I'm not suggesting ignoring the man. Not all of us are in 'ownership' relationships.
"
neither are we.. but I find that if they approach mr first I am happier..as long as the guy then doesnt say things like can I fuck her.
But we would always seek the approval of the other before engaging with someone else so makes sense to us |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Whenever that happens to me and I'm asked if it's ok to touch my partner in clubs, my standard response is "you'd better ask *******, it's not up to me".
As for asking others to play, we'll usually ask them both together, or if that's not possible (e.g. music's too loud) will ask whichever is nearest regardless of gender. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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straight to the boss little lady...you wouldn't understand  
err no...
really though i'd guess that, as someone mentioned above, fellas always get the advice to talk to the guy too, many don't like it when they go immediately to the lady and 'cut out' the male half.
i suppose it can be a nervous moment when making the approach and they get the balance out of whack and just go ask the guy with the above in mind, maybe..that's just a guess. it'd be impossible for me to hazard a guess as to why anyone acts the way they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking."
Is that to the man or the woman?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking.
Is that to the man or the woman?
"
Woman first, then I switch to the guy doing the same thing but raise my eyebrows a few times. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking.
Is that to the man or the woman?
Woman first, then I switch to the guy doing the same thing but raise my eyebrows a few times."
It needs to include the smirk to be a bona fide approach.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking.
Is that to the man or the woman?
Woman first, then I switch to the guy doing the same thing but raise my eyebrows a few times.
It needs to include the smirk to be a bona fide approach.
"
Straight face, dead eyed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking.
Is that to the man or the woman?
Woman first, then I switch to the guy doing the same thing but raise my eyebrows a few times.
It needs to include the smirk to be a bona fide approach.
Straight face, dead eyed."
Jaw clenched, nostrils flared. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
Agree with you totally, from a single point of view I think its rude and any couple I have been with I've always spoke to equally. If they ask me to play then great if not I wouldn't suggest anything to either or both. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking.
Is that to the man or the woman?
Woman first, then I switch to the guy doing the same thing but raise my eyebrows a few times.
It needs to include the smirk to be a bona fide approach.
Straight face, dead eyed.
Jaw clenched, nostrils flared."
Sooo sexy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok 6 goats
i still have my eye on one of those rugs though....."
eh ,,if you look very closely I have no rug,,nowbend over one of my goats wants you,,dont fucking argue  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok 6 goats
i still have my eye on one of those rugs though.....
eh ,,if you look very closely I have no rug,,nowbend over one of my goats wants you,,dont fucking argue "
can i argue fucking? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"ok 6 goats
What sort of goats? I like the Nigerian Dwarf goats.
I know I shouldn't find it funny but I like the myotonic goats.  "
That's just wrong...  . I have wondered how they manage to do anything.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok 6 goats
i still have my eye on one of those rugs though.....
eh ,,if you look very closely I have no rug,,nowbend over one of my goats wants you,,dont fucking argue
can i argue fucking?"
shut up,,your my goats bitch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok 6 goats
i still have my eye on one of those rugs though.....
eh ,,if you look very closely I have no rug,,nowbend over one of my goats wants you,,dont fucking argue
can i argue fucking?
shut up,,your my goats bitch"
i'm not one to turn down a new experience...horny auld goat it is then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok 6 goats
i still have my eye on one of those rugs though.....
eh ,,if you look very closely I have no rug,,nowbend over one of my goats wants you,,dont fucking argue
can i argue fucking?
shut up,,your my goats bitch
i'm not one to turn down a new experience...horny auld goat it is then "
you likey  |
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
Everything goes through me, the fem, anyone wanting contact with the OH or with me .... |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Everything goes through me, the fem, anyone wanting contact with the OH or with me ...."
How would they know that? What happens if they speak to the OH first?
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Everything goes through me, the fem, anyone wanting contact with the OH or with me ....
How would they know that? What happens if they speak to the OH first?
"
They are told off and bid farewell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok 6 goats
i still have my eye on one of those rugs though.....
eh ,,if you look very closely I have no rug,,nowbend over one of my goats wants you,,dont fucking argue
can i argue fucking?
shut up,,your my goats bitch
i'm not one to turn down a new experience...horny auld goat it is then
you likey "
how many goats did you say you had?...this one is worn now. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Everything goes through me, the fem, anyone wanting contact with the OH or with me ....
How would they know that? What happens if they speak to the OH first?
They are told off and bid farewell"
Does the word get round so that others know they need to approach you? |
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Everything goes through me, the fem, anyone wanting contact with the OH or with me ....
How would they know that? What happens if they speak to the OH first?
They are told off and bid farewell
Does the word get round so that others know they need to approach you?"
I have a loud voice when I need to get something across and a vicious tongue so yes, it gets around ... |
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Men can't win. I see so many couples on here where they complain that it's only the woman who is spoken to (despite often there only being photos of the woman on their profile).
Is it better to speak to both together perhaps? I don't know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men can't win. I see so many couples on here where they complain that it's only the woman who is spoken to (despite often there only being photos of the woman on their profile).
Is it better to speak to both together perhaps? I don't know."
Do you switch eye contact every 3-5 seconds so they know you're speaking to both of them? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Men can't win. I see so many couples on here where they complain that it's only the woman who is spoken to (despite often there only being photos of the woman on their profile).
Is it better to speak to both together perhaps? I don't know."
On here it's really odd that people will only address the woman on a couples profile.
In a club or party I find it decidedly rude to spoken of as a possession to be bartered.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men have to be mind readers too.
A cheese sandwich and a large cock.
You forgot the tea. "
You mustn't of been thinking about that at that precise moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men have to be mind readers too.
A cheese sandwich and a large cock.
You forgot the tea.
You mustn't of been thinking about that at that precise moment."
Or you were distracted by the large cock image in my head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just make a circle with my thumb and index finger on one hand while using the index finger on the other hand to to go through the circle and back out again while suggestively winking.
Is that to the man or the woman?
Woman first, then I switch to the guy doing the same thing but raise my eyebrows a few times.
It needs to include the smirk to be a bona fide approach.
Straight face, dead eyed.
Jaw clenched, nostrils flared."
Gently gyrating your hips too? |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Men can't win. I see so many couples on here where they complain that it's only the woman who is spoken to (despite often there only being photos of the woman on their profile).
"
I'm agreeing with that.
No matter who the guy talks to first,for some,that's going to be the wrong person.
If a female approaches a couple in a club,and speaks to the female first,looking to play with the guy.
For me that's just giving the female her place.
The guy would still be making the decision yes,or no.
In that scenario,Very few guys would view it as being treated like a piece of meat,or even the slightest bit sexist.
This thread shows,were that scenario reversed,
many females would view it as,
being treated like a piece of meat,and sexist.
The reality of the situation would likely be much easier to see,if only they could remove their blinkers.
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"Men can't win. I see so many couples on here where they complain that it's only the woman who is spoken to (despite often there only being photos of the woman on their profile).
I'm agreeing with that.
No matter who the guy talks to first,for some,that's going to be the wrong person.
If a female approaches a couple in a club,and speaks to the female first,looking to play with the guy.
For me that's just giving the female her place.
The guy would still be making the decision yes,or no.
In that scenario,Very few guys would view it as being treated like a piece of meat,or even the slightest bit sexist.
This thread shows,were that scenario reversed,
many females would view it as,
being treated like a piece of meat,and sexist.
The reality of the situation would likely be much easier to see,if only they could remove their blinkers.
"
Yes I agree, it is just deferring - I don't go to clubs, but I do that out social dancing, I defer to the woman by asking if she minds me 'stealing' her man for a dance. Less noses out of joint that way. .. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
It's interesting how would a single guy like to be approached would he want the couple to approach him, the female or the male
It's odd inwould say I prefer the female or couple together, a male coming over and saying would you play with my wife kinda doesn't sit to well with me |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
This has never happened to us
When together with my boyfriend, the men do start speaking with him first but the question of whether he would be willing to 'barter me off' has never arisen. I guess it is probably because I do not appear like some submissive wallflower or shrinking violet
After a while, something along the lines of, "do you allow single men to join you?" is asked. Generally, the answer is no, as my boyfriend is not too keen on MFM |
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
We've never found this....I might as well be wearing an invisibility cloak when men speak to Flik. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a massive club goer but I've had both scenarios happen, either approach didn't bother me or my partner at the time.
I guess when some guya are looking to have sex with someone else's partner they revert back to 1950's of asking if it's okay to interact with the little lady,old fashioned respect maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
Because they're sexist assholes who believe that men control women? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Because they're sexist assholes who believe that men control women?"
Yawn...is anything you say ever not barbed with a man hating rhetoric? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Because they're sexist assholes who believe that men control women?
Yawn...is anything you say ever not barbed with a man hating rhetoric?"
I think you have failed to comprehend - I do not, and never have 'hated' men. That would be far too much of a generalisation, of which I'm opposed to fundamentally. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
Because they're sexist assholes who believe that men control women?"
Could be.
Or it could be something else.
Although taking onto account your obvious narrow-minded animosity toward men,I'm leaning towards something else.
Having said that
Fancy a shag.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in the Fab 'straight' way but at clubs and parties.
Why do men see it as 'respectful' to approach the man in a couple first and seek his permission before even seeing if the woman is even remotely interested?
"
Because even in male mode I'm not interested in his wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Then there's guys like me - much more social than sexual - who usually just want a civilised conversation, without them assuming I'm trying to get into her knickers.
If I'm at a club, I'm more interested in watching than participating, anyway.
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» Add a new message to this topic
but yep other than that we are fairly open minded