FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Giving Back

Giving Back

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yes, folks it’s that time of year again, when we should take the time to think of those less fortunate than ourselves. Therefore, I am running this year’s “Adopt a Swinger” campaign.

Our adoption scheme is the perfect way to get your daily dose of “feels” and fab fun capers and you will be part of that swinger’s life until they go UNLOS. Our Fab Unfortunates (FUF) come to us for many different reasons, such as neglect, rejection, abandonment, impatience, too many cock pics, poorly written profiles, low self-esteem, an over developed sense of entitlement or just because they are written off as a lost cause. By adopting your swinger you’ll guarantee that they will never want for warmth, care, foof or cock again.

Your adoption pack contains a framed foof or cock pic, four beautiful postcards, a certificate with your swingers story plus you’ll receive regular updates about your swinger. You can also follow their antics via their verifications and forum posts and use the fun “meet” app where you can add your swinger to any one of your photographs. So start your lifetime of memories and adopt a swinger

Success Stories

…..”Brian joined fab swingers 4 weeks ago, after sending literally hundreds of friends requests and winks, he felt ugly and insecure. He was close to going UNLOS until we at the “adopt a swinger” campaign found Brian, socks on, preparing to take another cock shot over a toilet bowl and we stepped in. With some encouragement and some profile advise, Brian is now photo verified and has even received a few fabs, he no longer sprays messages out like a machine gun, but instead reads profiles and composes thought provoking messages, Brian has his first social this weekend and has learned to manage his expectations” ……

So please, if you can give, please do, you can adopt a swinger for 1 fab a day, please use the on-site map to find a swinger near you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Adopt me!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've adopted two who have *already* gone UNLOS, that's how giving I am...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've adopted two who have *already* gone UNLOS, that's how giving I am..."

No Ruby, that's called kidnapping for your own private usage!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've adopted two who have *already* gone UNLOS, that's how giving I am...

No Ruby, that's called kidnapping for your own private usage!

The Adopt a Swinger (ASS) campaign does not condone kidnap....

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By *lue NarwhalMan over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Are they for life and not just Christmas?

What's the returns policy for them?

Is there a lifetime or limited guarantee included?

Hmm, not sure about this.. It sounds all too good to be true..

I can't find any details on this scheme on which either..

All sounds a little dodgy to me..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Are they for life and not just Christmas?

What's the returns policy for them?

Is there a lifetime or limited guarantee included?

Hmm, not sure about this.. It sounds all too good to be true..

I can't find any details on this scheme on which either..

All sounds a little dodgy to me.. "

ASS is a registered charity in Mali.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've adopted two who have *already* gone UNLOS, that's how giving I am...

No Ruby, that's called kidnapping for your own private usage!

The Adopt a Swinger (ASS) campaign does not condone kidnap...."

They left of their own free will! (Except the ones in the basement...)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im happy to be up for adoption

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've adopted two who have *already* gone UNLOS, that's how giving I am...

No Ruby, that's called kidnapping for your own private usage!

The Adopt a Swinger (ASS) campaign does not condone kidnap...."

No, that goes against the campaign mantra...

Adopt a Swinger : Help, Optimism, Love Empowerment

(ASSHOLE)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol"

Pauly, this one needs a shot of optimism.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol"

Come now young fella my lad; there are fabsters out there just waiting to adopt, already I am inundated with offers, we will find you a new home....

... for the record ASS (HOLE) never puts a healthy swinger down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol

Come now young fella my lad; there are fabsters out there just waiting to adopt, already I am inundated with offers, we will find you a new home....

... for the record ASS (HOLE) never puts a healthy swinger down"

Oh thank you I had almost given up hope I've been on the shelf for a full week now

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol

Come now young fella my lad; there are fabsters out there just waiting to adopt, already I am inundated with offers, we will find you a new home....

... for the record ASS (HOLE) never puts a healthy swinger down

Oh thank you I had almost given up hope I've been on the shelf for a full week now "

Come one come all, all those new to Fab who wish to be taken under the wing (or flap) of a fabster need only post and I am sure we will be sending out certificates in no time... Look at this brave soul (well done chap)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol

Come now young fella my lad; there are fabsters out there just waiting to adopt, already I am inundated with offers, we will find you a new home....

... for the record ASS (HOLE) never puts a healthy swinger down

Oh thank you I had almost given up hope I've been on the shelf for a full week now

Bloody hell pauly even when you beg nobody wants me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can I just adopt a cat?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can I just adopt a cat?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How long do you keep us before we are 'taken to the farm'?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat? "

Hatter, you know what we said about being the Eeyore of the forums? It still stands.......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat? "

I'll adopt you

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Please may I adopt a super slut? I've always wanted to help one on their journey to being a hero.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love this thread

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By *anillaguyMan over a year ago

Kingston

All for just £3 a month. ..

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By *ndigo40Woman over a year ago

secret town

"Yes, folks it’s that time of year again, when we should take the time to think of those less fortunate than ourselves. Therefore, I am running this year’s “Adopt a Swinger” campaign.

Success Stories

So please, if you can give, please do, you can adopt a swinger for 1 fab a day, please use the on-site map to find a swinger near you.

Hehehe funny

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wo wo wow I've been here the longest and I can do puppy dog eyes if it means I can come home with you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All for just £3 a month. ..

ASS (HOLE) would like to distance itself from this comment, no monies exchange hands in the seasonal ASS promotion; just kindness and a fab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

Hatter, you know what we said about being the Eeyore of the forums? It still stands......."

Would it help if I just put

at the end of everything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

I'll adopt you

I can be a cat that needs adopting then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

Hatter, you know what we said about being the Eeyore of the forums? It still stands.......

Would it help if I just put

at the end of everything

This would be better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

I'll adopt you

I can be a cat that needs adopting then.

Awww, kitty

Can cats drink tea?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

Hatter, you know what we said about being the Eeyore of the forums? It still stands.......

Would it help if I just put

at the end of everything

ASS(HOLE)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I come with all my papers showing my pedigree, my vaccinations and I've been snipped too so no unexpected litters

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/12/16 15:18:20]

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By *anillaguyMan over a year ago

Kingston

"All for just £3 a month. ..

But it's all above board, our proper bank in Nigeria says so

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

Hatter, you know what we said about being the Eeyore of the forums? It still stands.......

Would it help if I just put

at the end of everything

This would be better

No.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

Hatter, you know what we said about being the Eeyore of the forums? It still stands.......

Would it help if I just put

at the end of everything

ASS(HOLE)

Tartlet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm happy fostering some to get them ready for their forever swinger adopter.

Short stays of swinging care to test out their boundaries so to speak, I can then provide a writeup of their strengths and areas for improvement

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

I'll adopt you

I can be a cat that needs adopting then.

Awww, kitty

Can cats drink tea?"

This one can.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm happy fostering some to get them ready for their forever swinger adopter.

Short stays of swinging care to test out their boundaries so to speak, I can then provide a writeup of their strengths and areas for improvement

Where do I sign

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I would ask all members to be careful of those collecting for the Adopt a Seasonal Swinger (ASS) (does that work now?) campaign and to avoid transferring any fabs into an account you cannot verify....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

I'll adopt you

I can be a cat that needs adopting then.

Awww, kitty

Can cats drink tea?

This one can.

Strange kitty.

Are you home yet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I want to be 'Brian'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm happy fostering some to get them ready for their forever swinger adopter.

Short stays of swinging care to test out their boundaries so to speak, I can then provide a writeup of their strengths and areas for improvement

Where do I sign

Just sign the scheme sheet :

Preparatory Engagement Guidance Genuine Improvement Now Guaranteed

Welcome to ASS(HOLE) PEGGING.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

This has to be one of the best threads I've had the pleasure to post to since joining.

Before committing myself to adopting someone though (and appreciate that females being out up for adoption are a rare and much sought after thing so it's lucky I'm bi!!) I really need to know if fabs can be payable by di-erect debit so I can spread the load (so to speak!!) a little?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm happy fostering some to get them ready for their forever swinger adopter.

Short stays of swinging care to test out their boundaries so to speak, I can then provide a writeup of their strengths and areas for improvement

Where do I sign

Just sign the scheme sheet :

Preparatory Engagement Guidance Genuine Improvement Now Guaranteed

Welcome to ASS(HOLE) PEGGING.

Interesting concept

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

I'll adopt you

I can be a cat that needs adopting then.

Awww, kitty

Can cats drink tea?

This one can.

Strange kitty.

Are you home yet?"

Yes but you knew that.

No not yet, won't be for another couple of hours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This has to be one of the best threads I've had the pleasure to post to since joining.

Fabs are payable by direct deposit...

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"This has to be one of the best threads I've had the pleasure to post to since joining.

Fabs are payable by direct deposit..."

Hmmmmm...will give it some thought..want to be sure I'm depositing in a worthy recipient! Or is that covered under the pre-vetting process?

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By *ndigo40Woman over a year ago

secret town

Someone adopt me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

I'll adopt you

I can be a cat that needs adopting then.

Awww, kitty

Can cats drink tea?

This one can.

Strange kitty.

Are you home yet?

Yes but you knew that.

No not yet, won't be for another couple of hours. "

I do, I do.

I'm sure I'm more excited than you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Someone adopt me

"meet minx, a delightful lady who likes her fellas to have an appetite, a well known butterfly, sometimes here sometimes not, minx has a huge heart and is just looking for a warm place to rest her foof....."

You can adopt Minx TODAY for the princely sum of 1 fab, make someone smile....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Put myself up for adoption ........... when my husband is at work lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Put myself up for adoption ........... when my husband is at work lol "

".....Meet Icecold, she will simply melt your heart, known to purr when tickled in the right place, Icecold has spent too many lonely nights looking out of the window, waiting for her man to return....."

Adopt Icecold today and make someone smile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im not doing nothing without TinaTitz forum insurance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hmmmmm this sounds too good to be true...

there has to be a catch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im happy to be up for adoption "

"meet blackpoollad007 a young whipper snapper seeking a forever swinger or swinging couple to indulge his love of Bond(age) and to, in his own words "have a laugh" -- he has his obligatory tighty whiteys on show and is packaged ready for collection.

You can adopt blackpoollad007 TODAY for the agreeable sum of 1 fab, let him make you smile...."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hmmmmm this sounds too good to be true...

there has to be a catch

I'm with you on that. This has to be a front for something nefarious.

Be alert

The world needs lerts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat? "

"Meet Eeyore -- sold for a fab and a cuppa to Harley"

ASS spreading the love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hmmmmm this sounds too good to be true...

there has to be a catch

I'm with you on that. This has to be a front for something nefarious.

Be alert

The world needs lerts "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im happy to be up for adoption

You can adopt blackpoollad007 TODAY for the agreeable sum of 1 fab, let him make you smile....""

Thanks for sharing lol

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By *oddyWoman over a year ago

between havant and chichester

Please could a kind person adopt me xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"hmmmmm this sounds too good to be true...

there has to be a catch

To repeat

ASS is a registered charity in Mali

All profit fabs go into Pauly's "Fundamentally Fabulous Fancy Filthy Fab Monies" Contribute to Pauly's FFFFFM TODAY

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please could a kind person adopt me xx

"......Meet Shy Voddy, she giggles, she jiggles she's a regular hurricane of hedonistic desires, long looked over because of her penchant for Russian spirits, Voddy just wants to be the genie in your lamp, come on, adopt Voddy and give her a rub today"

You can adopt Voddy today for Just 1 fab, come one wheres your spirit?

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Can I just adopt a cat?

"Meet Eeyore -- sold for a fab and a cuppa to Harley"

ASS spreading the love "

Cashier number three please!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I come with all my papers showing my pedigree, my vaccinations and I've been snipped too so no unexpected litters

"meet sexysinglestud - he's straight y'all - is able to talk before and after sex, but not during, has a sensitive nose and is ready for adoption. He's been here before after not settling well the first time, but he's been in training and we can verify that he's now ready for swinging and a prime candidate for ASS.

You can adopt sexysinglestud TODAY for the fair sum of 1 fab, let him be your partner in crime...."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please could a kind person adopt me xx

I've sent you a message

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This has to be one of the best threads I've had the pleasure to post to since joining.

I am a rare & sought after female that could be up for adoption BUT I need taming a little first in order to go to my forever fab home.

I am litter trained but I tend to claw & bite occasionally. Also neutered so no surprise litters.

Will need gentle stroking and my **** tickled to make me purrrrrr!!!!!!!

Any offers ???? Payments and myself most definitely spreadable x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Adopt me!!

....."Meet Estella, shy and thoughtful, a thinking mans swinger, Estella enjoys bicycle rides in the park... oh no wait, Stella enjoys outdoor sex, being an exhibitionist and is restricted to one word verifications.... would suit home with library and furniture which has rope hoops attached"

Adopt Estella today and receive a complimentary Waterstones voucher

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Any nice farmy homes going for a country girl???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/12/16 16:10:41]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

"Meet Eeyore -- sold for a fab and a cuppa to Harley"

ASS spreading the love "

Don't you start with the eeyore thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

"Meet Eeyore -- sold for a fab and a cuppa to Harley"

ASS spreading the love

Don't you start with the eeyore thing. "

But you're hung like...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Any nice farmy homes going for a country girl???

"......Meet Frisky, this lady knows what its like to have a stud between her thighs and comes with her own jodhpurs, you won't have to be too strict with the crop, but a blushing of the cheeks won't go amiss or she will kick in your stable door in a wanton fashion"

Adopt Frisky today and ASS will be a better place

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

"Meet Eeyore -- sold for a fab and a cuppa to Harley"

ASS spreading the love

Don't you start with the eeyore thing.

But you're hung like..."

Someone who has committed treason

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, folks it’s that time of year again, when we should take the time to think of those less fortunate than ourselves. Therefore, I am running this year’s “Adopt a Swinger” campaign.

Success Stories

So please, if you can give, please do, you can adopt a swinger for 1 fab a day, please use the on-site map to find a swinger near you.

^^^ this has made my day, lmao

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

I'll adopt one.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Any nice farmy homes going for a country girl???

Adopt Frisky today and ASS will be a better place"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I want to be adopted too please...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"I want to be adopted too please...

Can I adopt you?

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By *eesideMan over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol"

That's never going to happon cos I just shod up.

Im always larst

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By *eliz NelsonMan over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

In a kind and gregarious mood here and happy to adopt a seasonal swinger ...

ASS this way please ! Oops! That came out wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I want to be adopted too please...

..."Meet Minxymoo, she's a "torso queen" so if you put the laugh into buff, she may just follow you home, don't be surprised if she deletes your cock pic, she's seen too many to care....... We found Minxy down the back of a sofa after being poorly treated by her last owner, but with the loving ASS care that only we can bring, once again she shines"

YOU can adopt Minxymoo today, she is all about the ASS

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm available for adoption and I'm house trained

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By *anillaguyMan over a year ago

Kingston

"hmmmmm this sounds too good to be true...

there has to be a catch

I'm with you on that. This has to be a front for something nefarious.

Be alert

The world needs lerts "

No, be a ware

The world needs wares

There are too many lerts

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By *oddyWoman over a year ago

between havant and chichester

I will adopt Fellatio Nelson

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want to be adopted too please...

YOU can adopt Minxymoo today, she is all about the ASS"

and now I am singing Megan Traignor All about the ass, bout the ass no cock pic in my head!!

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I like the sound of being adopted, please may I be? Can't be arsed with the hassle of adopting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I adopted a tuk driver for a week so will happily take on anyone else who wants me to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need to be adopted please for the love of God!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I like the sound of being adopted, please may I be? Can't be arsed with the hassle of adopting. "

"......Meet Meli, she can tie you up but won't tie you down, although she may tire you out, she looks for a quick wit and a slow, seductive scenario, she comes in all flavours but is currently on a Femme/Femme diet...... we found Meli starving and devoid of hope, languishing in a library....."

Don't let Meli starve, contribute to the ASS fund today and take home a peach

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I come with all my papers showing my pedigree, my vaccinations and I've been snipped too so no unexpected litters

You can adopt sexysinglestud TODAY for the fair sum of 1 fab, let him be your partner in crime....""

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like the sound of being adopted, please may I be? Can't be arsed with the hassle of adopting.

Don't let Meli starve, contribute to the ASS fund today and take home a peach "

I'll adopt Meli.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

May I take this opportunity to apologise to the gentleman waiting for adoption, I had signed an MOU with a fellow fabster that she would manage the gents but she has gone AWOL, this is a temporary ASS setback and normal service will soon be resumed!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

May i foster one just incase a better one comes along or i dislike the first one. I hate commiting to anything

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By *aucy tiggerWoman over a year ago

Back where I belong

I'd like to be adopted - I'm fully house trained, come with my own toys and have a king size bed. I also have a dishwasher and am extremely loveable xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"May I take this opportunity to apologise to the gentleman waiting for adoption, I had signed an MOU with a fellow fabster that she would manage the gents but she has gone AWOL, this is a temporary ASS setback and normal service will soon be resumed!"

My ass will be there shortly, I'm having a sarnie!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/12/16 16:51:53]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'd like to be adopted - I'm fully house trained, come with my own toys and have a king size bed. I also have a dishwasher and am extremely loveable xxxx

...."meet Tigger, she will Tigger bounce all over your nether region. would suit a home with soft furnishings (preferably bean bags) and an owner with a iron codpiece or a liking for blue testicles..... we found Tigger wandering through the woods after being dumped by Christopher in favour of pooh (kinky fucker)....

Adopt Tigger today and put the bounce back into your life

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By *oddyWoman over a year ago

between havant and chichester

"I'd like to be adopted - I'm fully house trained, come with my own toys and have a king size bed. I also have a dishwasher and am extremely loveable xxxx"
you forgot you give good snuggles too

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Can I just adopt a cat? "

Yes. I miss having one so I could come and play with yours in the interim if you got one.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Changed my mind, I want to be adopted please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"lol I think I will be the unlucky one who ends up seeing everyone else going to there new homes lol

That's never going to happon cos I just shod up.

Im always larst

"Meet _eeside-- he's shiny and new and resilient and smiley -- he's reliable every Wednesday and is keen to be your forever swinger adoptee, remember what the song says 'I do like to be beside the _eeside' -- he can also rustle you up some delicious nosh!

Adopt _eeside today, we are only ASSking for one fab"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *aucy tiggerWoman over a year ago

Back where I belong

"I'd like to be adopted - I'm fully house trained, come with my own toys and have a king size bed. I also have a dishwasher and am extremely loveable xxxxyou forgot you give good snuggles too"

And cuddles lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll stand for adoption, just for Christmas mind you, a dog may be for life but a monkey needs his down time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Changed my mind, I want to be adopted please

Yeah, I'm following honey, anyone want to adopt me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Changed my mind, I want to be adopted please

....."meet Miss Honey (but bring a snorkel and a wetsuit), she's just a tiny, gushing, pocket rocket, nothing lazy about this femme (well maybe one eye, but meh she has another). We found Miss Honey wandering the shire in a dreadful state, but after shaving her feet and introducing her to lingerie, she has really come out of the closet (well sometimes

) Would suit a home with plastic sheets.....

Adopt Miss Honey today and find out why Pooh likes getting his mitts caught in the jar....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm available for adoption and I'm house trained

"Meet bobhitandmiss, he has another owner but is looking for a co-adoption so for anyone just seeking fun adopting without full responsibility he's perfect for you. There's nothing hit and miss about him, he's clean and discreet and ready to fulfil his adoptee duties with vigour.

Adopt bobhitandmiss ASS soon as you can, one fab and he's yours"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need adopting, pretty please. I've had all my jabs, house trained and safe around livestock.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can I just adopt a cat?

Yes. I miss having one so I could come and play with yours in the interim if you got one."

Now to find a cat.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Dear ASS(HOLE),

I am a FUF. I have never sent anyone a cock over the toilet picture but I am afflicted by many of the criteria listed for FUFness.

Your help is much appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Lickety™

p.s. Is this your logo

? I don't want to confuse you with other ASS(HOLE)s.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman over a year ago

Back where I belong

"Dear ASS(HOLE),

I am a FUF. I have never sent anyone a cock over the toilet picture but I am afflicted by many of the criteria listed for FUFness.

Your help is much appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Lickety™

p.s. Is this your logo

? I don't want to confuse you with other ASS(HOLE)s.

Pmsl you forgot to mention you're vertically challenged and don't take up much room xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Best laugh in ages

brilliant heartwarming thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear ASS(HOLE),

I am a FUF. I have never sent anyone a cock over the toilet picture but I am afflicted by many of the criteria listed for FUFness.

Your help is much appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Lickety™

p.s. Is this your logo

? I don't want to confuse you with other ASS(HOLE)s.

...."Meet Lickety, she is a rare hidden beauty this one, don't be fooled, she doesn't need a picture to entice you, her mind will have you racing (to collect her) and when your ears are warmed by her thighs you won't need a scarf again. We found rickety finishing off a patio..... we didn't ask what was underneath it...."

Adopt Lickety today, if we don't hear from you afterwards you just weren't man enough

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Dear ASS(HOLE),

I am a FUF. I have never sent anyone a cock over the toilet picture but I am afflicted by many of the criteria listed for FUFness.

Your help is much appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Lickety™

p.s. Is this your logo

? I don't want to confuse you with other ASS(HOLE)s.

Pmsl you forgot to mention you're vertically challenged and don't take up much room xx"

You and your lofty extra 3 inches...

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Dear ASS(HOLE),

I am a FUF. I have never sent anyone a cock over the toilet picture but I am afflicted by many of the criteria listed for FUFness.

Your help is much appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Lickety™

p.s. Is this your logo

? I don't want to confuse you with other ASS(HOLE)s.

Adopt Lickety today, if we don't hear from you afterwards you just weren't man enough"

I am a bit rickety... perhaps I should change my name to Rickety Lickety™ and then folk would know I'm a bit broken?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need to be adopted please for the love of God!"

"Meet Pedro, he'd like your vote for president...sorry adoption -- he has good skills; nunchuck skills… bowhunting skills… computer hacking skills…and he loves to give oral...goshhhh!

Adopt Pedro and stop my Napoleon Dynamite references for just one fab"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear ASS(HOLE),

I am a FUF. I have never sent anyone a cock over the toilet picture but I am afflicted by many of the criteria listed for FUFness.

Your help is much appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Lickety™

p.s. Is this your logo

? I don't want to confuse you with other ASS(HOLE)s.

Adopt Lickety today, if we don't hear from you afterwards you just weren't man enough

I am a bit rickety... perhaps I should change my name to Rickety Lickety™ and then folk would know I'm a bit broken?

I am so sorry.... spank me? (please)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Try Estella xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll stand for adoption, just for Christmas mind you, a dog may be for life but a monkey needs his down time"

"Meet tea monkey -- born from an egg on a mountaintop, he brings his monkey magic for your delight. In the worlds before tea monkey primal chaos reigned, but now he can bring his tannin primate hunkdom out for your pleasure. He's beardy but it hirsutes him and he won't disappoint.

Adopt tea monkey for one fab and we'll throw in these free chocolate chimp cookies too"

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I like the sound of being adopted, please may I be? Can't be arsed with the hassle of adopting.

Don't let Meli starve, contribute to the ASS fund today and take home a peach

I'll adopt Meli. "

Cashier number six please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A swinger is for life not just for Xmas x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Changed my mind, I want to be adopted please

Yeah, I'm following honey, anyone want to adopt me?"

"Meet dathuilbastaird (goodlooking bastard) -- he's seeking a non-silhouetted adopter who he can treat and ravish and open doors for. His life has been complicated, don't ask, but give him the time of day and he'll see you good -- will happily tell you what he thought of India so comes with pre-selected warm up conversation topics to ease in the new or nervous adopter.

Adopt dathuilbastaird for one fab and a pinch of his exquisite bum"

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I like the sound of being adopted, please may I be? Can't be arsed with the hassle of adopting.

Don't let Meli starve, contribute to the ASS fund today and take home a peach

I'll adopt Meli. "

I'll happily be adopted by you. Thank you for such an amusing thread, this has genuinely made me snort.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I like the sound of being adopted, please may I be? Can't be arsed with the hassle of adopting.

Don't let Meli starve, contribute to the ASS fund today and take home a peach

I'll adopt Meli.

I'll happily be adopted by you. Thank you for such an amusing thread, this has genuinely made me snort."

People make the threads never the OP, thanks for taking part, thanks to Estella for taking over our male candidates (with some excellent linguistic skills), to be honest I am looking forward to post 175 as I should probably do something productive!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need adopting, pretty please. I've had all my jabs, house trained and safe around livestock."

"Meet buttermyface, well he is open to who adopts him with no particular preferences -- what a sweetie, butter wouldn't melt! He's a self professed talker in sentences and not the last turkey in the shop, has a tendency to be self-deprecating but the person who adopts him will only appreciate their fine choice! I can't believe he's not already adopted, he is gold, utterly butterly fab.

Adopt buttermyface today for one fab and continuing spreading the ASS love"

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS over a year ago

Epsom

"Adopt me!!

Love too but I don't think you need it x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Adopt me!!

Love too but I don't think you need it x"

Awww

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Hilarious post!!

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

[Removed by poster at 02/12/16 17:39:06]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are there no prisons?.....and the union work houses, are they still in operation?....and the Treadmill and the Poor Law, they're still in full vigor, I presume?

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By *anillaguyMan over a year ago

Kingston

Spare a thought for the lonely and vulnerable, especially those men who don't use cock pics and one word introductions. They really need some supportive messages and masturbatory material to get through the long winter nights

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We could do with adoption, been licking our swinging wounds this week.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Nobody wants to adopt me

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By *anillaguyMan over a year ago

Kingston

"Nobody wants to adopt me

Stands quietly waving

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody wants to adopt me

Oh go on then

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By *ex LutherMan over a year ago

Closer than you think

Great post I'll adopt Miss Barker as she went UNLOS for a short while but she's happily returned....

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By *ndigo40Woman over a year ago

secret town

"Yes, folks it’s that time of year again, when we should take the time to think of those less fortunate than ourselves. Therefore, I am running this year’s “Adopt a Swinger” campaign.

Success Stories

So please, if you can give, please do, you can adopt a swinger for 1 fab a day, please use the on-site map to find a swinger near you.

Pauly will you adopt me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, folks it’s that time of year again, when we should take the time to think of those less fortunate than ourselves. Therefore, I am running this year’s “Adopt a Swinger” campaign.

Success Stories

So please, if you can give, please do, you can adopt a swinger for 1 fab a day, please use the on-site map to find a swinger near you.

Pauly will you adopt me

Of course I will, it would be an honour

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Fuck a fresher, eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Fuck a fresher, eh?

Always have to lower the tone; please note that DiamondJoe represents the FOR profit organisation FAF (Fuck a Fresher), which is not the partner organisation to ASS

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!"

I could do this. I make coffee way too often.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody wants to adopt me

They will...when I let you out of my cellar!!

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Fuck a fresher, eh?

Always have to lower the tone; please note that DiamondJoe represents the FOR profit organisation FAF (Fuck a Fresher), which is not the partner organisation to ASS"

Stand aside, impostor, for I have unmasked your dastardly game!

*dramatically rips off FUF logos from gift packs to reveal FAF branding underneath*

Ladies and gentlemen of the Fab, I accuse this man of attempting to get into fresh knickers by dressing this circus up as self help whilst working for the opposition all along!

Shame on you, sir!

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

im window shopping, at the pet shop

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm in

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Fuck a fresher, eh?

Always have to lower the tone; please note that DiamondJoe represents the FOR profit organisation FAF (Fuck a Fresher), which is not the partner organisation to ASS

Stand aside, impostor, for I have unmasked your dastardly game!

*dramatically rips off FUF logos from gift packs to reveal FAF branding underneath*

Ladies and gentlemen of the Fab, I accuse this man of attempting to get into fresh knickers by dressing this circus up as self help whilst working for the opposition all along!

Shame on you, sir!"

What have I done? I have created a monster;

Ladies and gentlemen i give you......

.....Brian

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By *heDevilsinthedetailMan over a year ago

liverpool

Can someone adopt me

A naughty pup needs a home

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Fuck a fresher, eh?

Always have to lower the tone; please note that DiamondJoe represents the FOR profit organisation FAF (Fuck a Fresher), which is not the partner organisation to ASS

Stand aside, impostor, for I have unmasked your dastardly game!

*dramatically rips off FUF logos from gift packs to reveal FAF branding underneath*

Ladies and gentlemen of the Fab, I accuse this man of attempting to get into fresh knickers by dressing this circus up as self help whilst working for the opposition all along!

Shame on you, sir!

What have I done? I have created a monster;

Ladies and gentlemen i give you......

.....Brian"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jRiZRMLGjCY

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!

I could do this. I make coffee way too often. "

I'm not adopting you. You'd get me into too many shenanigans...

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!

I could do this. I make coffee way too often.

I'm not adopting you. You'd get me into too many shenanigans... "

I adopted you once already

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!

I could do this. I make coffee way too often.

I'm not adopting you. You'd get me into too many shenanigans...

I adopted you once already

You love shenanigans!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I wonder if its too late in the evening to have "Brian's Story" removed from the ASS website......

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!

I could do this. I make coffee way too often.

I'm not adopting you. You'd get me into too many shenanigans...

I adopted you once already

You love shenanigans! "

Who, Miss?

Me, Miss?

No, Miss

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"I'll adopt someone, but you have to bring me tea... on an hourly basis!

I could do this. I make coffee way too often.

I'm not adopting you. You'd get me into too many shenanigans... "

I never would

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've a nice spare leash that could go to use.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would adopt the above

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would adopt the above "

Where do I sign?

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By *aucy tiggerWoman over a year ago

Back where I belong

I'm still waiting

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Where do I get some ASS?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haha I'm in. Could be a laugh.. Though I'd much prefer to be long term fostered... I get bored too easily... Is that allowed OP?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Put myself up for adoption ........... when my husband is at work lol

Adopt Icecold today and make someone smile"

I'll take her.......

*best T shirt........EVER!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not doing nothing without TinaTitz forum insurance "

Haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Great post I'll adopt Miss Barker as she went UNLOS for a short while but she's happily returned...."

Does this mean I have a Fab Home for life ? I can pop round when ever I want ? ;0)

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By *ex LutherMan over a year ago

Closer than you think

"Great post I'll adopt Miss Barker as she went UNLOS for a short while but she's happily returned....

Does this mean I have a Fab Home for life ? I can pop round when ever I want ? ;0) "

Well you'd be adopted so yes of course

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By *ndigo40Woman over a year ago

secret town

"I wonder if its too late in the evening to have "Brian's Story" removed from the ASS website......"

I like Brian

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd like to be adopted - I'm fully house trained, come with my own toys and have a king size bed. I also have a dishwasher and am extremely loveable xxxx"

And you like ironing.

This one scores big!!!!!!

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

I want to adopt someone.

Preferably someone with all their own teeth, who doesn't stink, and who likes cake...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I want to adopt someone.

Preferably someone with all their own teeth, who doesn't stink, and who likes cake...

One out of three aint bad

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

"I want to adopt someone.

Preferably someone with all their own teeth, who doesn't stink, and who likes cake...

One out of three aint bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want to adopt someone.

Preferably someone with all their own teeth, who doesn't stink, and who likes cake...

*raises elbow, sniffs pits....

**relaxes......

H e l l o........

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

I haven't even done the 'hug a hoodie' yet. This is way too advanced for me

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm giving

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

This thread the end post.

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