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being a gentleman!?!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Walking home from a well known supermarket this morning when I noticed a lady up ahead struggling to carry her shopping.
About 10 men walked past her without even a glance towards her, as I approached her I offered to help carry her shopping home as I couldn't leave her to struggle.
She was so pleased and we got talking about how the art of being a "gentleman" is a rare thing these days!
I'm amazed that guys don't hold doors open for ladies or will offer to help when needed, it appears the world is getting more and more selfish and this saddens me 
One of my verifications even mentions I held a door open for her! So it must be rare!
Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent "
Nice sentiment OP and it was a lovely thing to do and all that but...
I don't think some women want gentlemen - I know I went through a phase of hating doors being opened for me. Some will undoubtedly blame it on feminists (bloody militant fems ruining life) but whatever the reason behind it, I think that men can be put off it due to previous negative experiences. Also, what makes a gentleman in your eyes OP? It can be subjective. Some might think it's down to helping those in need, others treating all people with respect. Stream of consciousness strikes again. |
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"Walking home from a well known supermarket this morning when I noticed a lady up ahead struggling to carry her shopping.
About 10 men walked past her without even a glance towards her, as I approached her I offered to help carry her shopping home as I couldn't leave her to struggle.
She was so pleased and we got talking about how the art of being a "gentleman" is a rare thing these days!
I'm amazed that guys don't hold doors open for ladies or will offer to help when needed, it appears the world is getting more and more selfish and this saddens me
One of my verifications even mentions I held a door open for her! So it must be rare!
Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent "
. True story  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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 well done you!
I don't think it's just about being a gentleman, sometimes I just despair at everyone's lack of manners these days.
Some women don't like too much chivalry in these days of equality etc, so gauging the right situations to do it in is important.
But holding a door open and helping someone in need or who is struggling etc is just about pure basic manners and being a good citizen and there's definitely less of it out there these days which is sad!
Keep doing what you're doing - good work fella! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not in my experience luckily. Most of the ones I've gone out with have been like that.... Even a few meets. I must have a good guy radar!... Much preferable to a bad boy one though, as they don't do it for me at all  . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent
Nice sentiment OP and it was a lovely thing to do and all that but...
I don't think some women want gentlemen - I know I went through a phase of hating doors being opened for me. Some will undoubtedly blame it on feminists (bloody militant fems ruining life) but whatever the reason behind it, I think that men can be put off it due to previous negative experiences. Also, what makes a gentleman in your eyes OP? It can be subjective. Some might think it's down to helping those in need, others treating all people with respect. Stream of consciousness strikes again. "
I have never experienced a woman not liking having a door held open for them 
A gentleman to me is someone who is respectful, someone who is kind and caring, I know everyone had their opinions and that's what makes it an interesting world but I'll never change!
I guess I'm just an all round nice guy ha ha |
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I had a social meet and he walked in front of me and didn't leave the door open. He strode to the bar and ordered himself a drink. When I pulled him up, his response was "this ain't a date love!" I just left him to it!
Men have almost wrestled me to the ground trying to get onto an empty train before me! So well done you.
However, the sad fact is, if a man offered to carry my shopping home I wouldn't think how gallant and charming, I'd think he was about to rob me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" well done you!
I don't think it's just about being a gentleman, sometimes I just despair at everyone's lack of manners these days.
Some women don't like too much chivalry in these days of equality etc, so gauging the right situations to do it in is important.
But holding a door open and helping someone in need or who is struggling etc is just about pure basic manners and being a good citizen and there's definitely less of it out there these days which is sad!
Keep doing what you're doing - good work fella! "
Great reply mate!! You're so right about lack of manners.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Feminism ruined it. They want equality. By seeing them as struggling and the fairer sex lots of them will scream 'oppression' and 'rape culture'
"
Yeah, the aforementioned posts have begun. Sorry OP. But fuck that nonsense. I honestly don't know anyone who would equate 'rape culture' with a man opening a door. Bit of a giant chasm of a leap there with a few straw men chasing along. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a social meet and he walked in front of me and didn't leave the door open. He strode to the bar and ordered himself a drink. When I pulled him up, his response was "this ain't a date love!" I just left him to it!
Men have almost wrestled me to the ground trying to get onto an empty train before me! So well done you.
However, the sad fact is, if a man offered to carry my shopping home I wouldn't think how gallant and charming, I'd think he was about to rob me. "
It's sad that you would think that isn't it a shame that that's the first thought that would come into your head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't give a toss... I support women's rights and equality but I'll always hold a door open for any lady.
I'm with you OP "
I'm with you too!!!! Nothing wrong with being a gent, holding doors open , buying drinks etc, just be yourself , I try to be, some like it some don't , sod the ones that don't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I couldn't give a toss... I support women's rights and equality but I'll always hold a door open for any lady.
I'm with you OP
I'm with you too!!!! Nothing wrong with being a gent, holding doors open , buying drinks etc, just be yourself , I try to be, some like it some don't , sod the ones that don't "
Glad there seems to be a few of us with the same morals |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't. "
Surely this is a wind up??? |
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"I had a social meet and he walked in front of me and didn't leave the door open. He strode to the bar and ordered himself a drink. When I pulled him up, his response was "this ain't a date love!" I just left him to it!
Men have almost wrestled me to the ground trying to get onto an empty train before me! So well done you.
However, the sad fact is, if a man offered to carry my shopping home I wouldn't think how gallant and charming, I'd think he was about to rob me.
It's sad that you would think that isn't it a shame that that's the first thought that would come into your head. "
Hence the
People doing the right thing is so rare in my experience, that a random act of kindness would be viewed with suspicion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't. "
One small step for man, one giant leap for home alone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a social meet and he walked in front of me and didn't leave the door open. He strode to the bar and ordered himself a drink. When I pulled him up, his response was "this ain't a date love!" I just left him to it!
Men have almost wrestled me to the ground trying to get onto an empty train before me! So well done you.
However, the sad fact is, if a man offered to carry my shopping home I wouldn't think how gallant and charming, I'd think he was about to rob me.
It's sad that you would think that isn't it a shame that that's the first thought that would come into your head.
Hence the
People doing the right thing is so rare in my experience, that a random act of kindness would be viewed with suspicion. "
Again it's just sad that people would be suspicious of acts of kindness
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, the aforementioned posts have begun. Sorry OP. But fuck that nonsense. I honestly don't know anyone who would equate 'rape culture' with a man opening a door. Bit of a giant chasm of a leap there with a few straw men chasing along."
Don't get me wrong, I also think it's crazy. Modern feminism that we see caused by tumblr is fucking batshit mental.
One video I saw there was a feminist protestor testing a police officer on the head with a balloon, he took the balloon off her. She fell to the ground screaming that she was raped. Literally.
I understand that women are (generally) not as strong as men, and a few years back I dare say the majority of men would offer to carry shopping when a woman was struggling. Now, most men don't want a rape charge on file or to deal with a screaming, hairy mess of feminist due to repercussions from anyone in the vicinity.
I wish I was joking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Last week I popped into that there London town..the train home was rammed and I gladly gave up my seat for an elderly lady when there were tables of younger lads too engrossed in their portable communication devices to even notice. I didn't do it because she was a lady, but because she obviously needed the seat more than myself.
Is it bad that my phone autocarroted rammed to rimmed?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hold doors open for everyone nit just women. It doesn't make me a gentleman, just a decent human being.
And while I would help a neighbour if I saw them struggling I wouldn't offer to help a complete stranger by carrying their bags. And I'm not apologising for that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, the aforementioned posts have begun. Sorry OP. But fuck that nonsense. I honestly don't know anyone who would equate 'rape culture' with a man opening a door. Bit of a giant chasm of a leap there with a few straw men chasing along.
Don't get me wrong, I also think it's crazy. Modern feminism that we see caused by tumblr is fucking batshit mental.
One video I saw there was a feminist protestor testing a police officer on the head with a balloon, he took the balloon off her. She fell to the ground screaming that she was raped. Literally.
I understand that women are (generally) not as strong as men, and a few years back I dare say the majority of men would offer to carry shopping when a woman was struggling. Now, most men don't want a rape charge on file or to deal with a screaming, hairy mess of feminist due to repercussions from anyone in the vicinity.
I wish I was joking."
I wish you were joking too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Surely this is a wind up??? "
In the days where a female has claimed AC is sexist (this was on news), I can assure you its not a wind up.
P.S. I'm not trying to have a go at women as they're a lovely bunch . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, the aforementioned posts have begun. Sorry OP. But fuck that nonsense. I honestly don't know anyone who would equate 'rape culture' with a man opening a door. Bit of a giant chasm of a leap there with a few straw men chasing along.
Don't get me wrong, I also think it's crazy. Modern feminism that we see caused by tumblr is fucking batshit mental.
One video I saw there was a feminist protestor testing a police officer on the head with a balloon, he took the balloon off her. She fell to the ground screaming that she was raped. Literally.
I understand that women are (generally) not as strong as men, and a few years back I dare say the majority of men would offer to carry shopping when a woman was struggling. Now, most men don't want a rape charge on file or to deal with a screaming, hairy mess of feminist due to repercussions from anyone in the vicinity.
I wish I was joking."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll hold a door open for anyone, sometimes act a little old fashioned and always walk on the road side of the pavement amongst other things I consider 'the right way'
But, tut at me for holding the door and I hope the feminist is ready to catch it as it swings back, courtesy costs nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Surely this is a wind up???
In the days where a female has claimed AC is sexist (this was on news), I can assure you its not a wind up.
P.S. I'm not trying to have a go at women as they're a lovely bunch ."
The worlds gone crazy! |
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't. "
I remember walking across a car park. In front of me was a young woman chatting away on her phone. Just about to overtake me was a young man.
The woman wasn't paying attention and didn't notice the edge of the parking bay. She tripped and went flying. Instinctively, the young man stopped to help her but he stopped. I could see he was wary and looked "relieved" when I helped her up.
I understood his hesitation as no good deed goes unpunished and it's not unheard off for women to claim assault in those circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll hold a door open for anyone, sometimes act a little old fashioned and always walk on the road side of the pavement amongst other things I consider 'the right way'
But, tut at me for holding the door and I hope the feminist is ready to catch it as it swings back, courtesy costs nothing."
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
I remember walking across a car park. In front of me was a young woman chatting away on her phone. Just about to overtake me was a young man.
The woman wasn't paying attention and didn't notice the edge of the parking bay. She tripped and went flying. Instinctively, the young man stopped to help her but he stopped. I could see he was wary and looked "relieved" when I helped her up.
I understood his hesitation as no good deed goes unpunished and it's not unheard off for women to claim assault in those circumstances. "
It honestly wouldn't even come into my mind any allegations, if I saw anyone needing help
I would instantly react and help them! |
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" well done you!
I don't think it's just about being a gentleman, sometimes I just despair at everyone's lack of manners these days.
Some women don't like too much chivalry in these days of equality etc, so gauging the right situations to do it in is important.
But holding a door open and helping someone in need or who is struggling etc is just about pure basic manners and being a good citizen and there's definitely less of it out there these days which is sad!
Keep doing what you're doing - good work fella! "
This!
Manners cost absolutely nothing! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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" Now, most men don't want a rape charge on file or to deal with a screaming, hairy mess of feminist due to repercussions from anyone in the vicinity.
I wish I was joking."
You can get your point across without falling into such generalisations and exaggerated caricature representation. Underneath all that, there's some validity to what you're saying - yes, there are men who are put off being a gentleman who undoubtedly have had negative experiences or don't want to risk dealing with one. The modern feminism you're talking about is a small niche group of modern feminists. Sadly, it's the one you hear and read about most due it being guaranteed to get hits/likes whatever other system is in place. Clouding a quite sound point in order to get across a dislike of feminists is a shame. |
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"Feminism ruined it. They want equality. By seeing them as struggling and the fairer sex lots of them will scream 'oppression' and 'rape culture'
"
Hmm, has this ever actually happened in real life? I have never seen it or heard of it actually truly happening.
99.9% of people act in a reasonable way. These stories of sex discrimination for holding open a door and damages for shovelling snow are make-believe.
Carry on folks, lets all do our bit to make our world friendlier and happier xx |
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" Now, most men don't want a rape charge on file or to deal with a screaming, hairy mess of feminist due to repercussions from anyone in the vicinity.
I wish I was joking.
You can get your point across without falling into such generalisations and exaggerated caricature representation. Underneath all that, there's some validity to what you're saying - yes, there are men who are put off being a gentleman who undoubtedly have had negative experiences or don't want to risk dealing with one. The modern feminism you're talking about is a small niche group of modern feminists. Sadly, it's the one you hear and read about most due it being guaranteed to get hits/likes whatever other system is in place. Clouding a quite sound point in order to get across a dislike of feminists is a shame."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Dad stopped opening doors for women after he opened one on a train for a lady coming off a crowded train at Victoria in the late 70's. His gesture provoked an angry torrent of verbal abuse from the female, all Greer-like ultra-feminist stuff about humiliation of the fairer sex by the stale pale male etc. She was so abusive and offensive he refused to ever do it again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can get your point across without falling into such generalisations and exaggerated caricature representation. Underneath all that, there's some validity to what you're saying - yes, there are men who are put off being a gentleman who undoubtedly have had negative experiences or don't want to risk dealing with one. The modern feminism you're talking about is a small niche group of modern feminists. Sadly, it's the one you hear and read about most due it being guaranteed to get hits/likes whatever other system is in place. Clouding a quite sound point in order to get across a dislike of feminists is a shame."
Hey, I still got the point across. That's the way I talk. I've seen and dealt with these disillusioned idiots first hand.
I understand it's a small majority, but the fact it exists is just.. Too much.
I'm all for feminism and I'm all for equality, but to pick and choose when it suits is bullshit. I've seen a situation where a very loud and proud feminist has punched a man, then cried that "men shouldn't hit women" when he clocked her back.
Now, Pankhurst.. She was a true feminist. |
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"My Dad stopped opening doors for women after he opened one on a train for a lady coming off a crowded train at Victoria in the late 70's. His gesture provoked an angry torrent of verbal abuse from the female, all Greer-like ultra-feminist stuff about humiliation of the fairer sex by the stale pale male etc. She was so abusive and offensive he refused to ever do it again! "
Did he stop drinking with men in the pub, after a bloke swore at him once? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My Dad stopped opening doors for women after he opened one on a train for a lady coming off a crowded train at Victoria in the late 70's. His gesture provoked an angry torrent of verbal abuse from the female, all Greer-like ultra-feminist stuff about humiliation of the fairer sex by the stale pale male etc. She was so abusive and offensive he refused to ever do it again!
Did he stop drinking with men in the pub, after a bloke swore at him once?"
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Dad stopped opening doors for women after he opened one on a train for a lady coming off a crowded train at Victoria in the late 70's. His gesture provoked an angry torrent of verbal abuse from the female, all Greer-like ultra-feminist stuff about humiliation of the fairer sex by the stale pale male etc. She was so abusive and offensive he refused to ever do it again!
Did he stop drinking with men in the pub, after a bloke swore at him once?"
Never saw Dad in a pub so... probably yes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can get your point across without falling into such generalisations and exaggerated caricature representation. Underneath all that, there's some validity to what you're saying - yes, there are men who are put off being a gentleman who undoubtedly have had negative experiences or don't want to risk dealing with one. The modern feminism you're talking about is a small niche group of modern feminists. Sadly, it's the one you hear and read about most due it being guaranteed to get hits/likes whatever other system is in place. Clouding a quite sound point in order to get across a dislike of feminists is a shame.
Hey, I still got the point across. That's the way I talk. I've seen and dealt with these disillusioned idiots first hand.
I understand it's a small majority, but the fact it exists is just.. Too much.
I'm all for feminism and I'm all for equality, but to pick and choose when it suits is bullshit. I've seen a situation where a very loud and proud feminist has punched a man, then cried that "men shouldn't hit women" when he clocked her back.
Now, Pankhurst.. She was a true feminist."
Extreme chauvinism exists too. I hate that as much as extreme feminism. But It wouldn't make me cast a blanket judgement over all men, and have me behaving in a certain way, on the off chance that they are a chauvinist. If someone is in need, I offer a hand. The word human decency springs to mind, it's a spontaneous action for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not going to get into the debate about feminism and all that, as stated above manners cost nothing and I was brought up to at least offer to pay for meals and drinks etc.
I also think that a gentleman is modest and understated, virtue is its own reward. I don't think a gentleman needs to shout about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't. "
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Extreme chauvinism exists too. I hate that as much as extreme feminism. But It wouldn't make me cast a blanket judgement over all men, and have me behaving in a certain way, on the off chance that they are a chauvinist. If someone is in need, I offer a hand. The word human decency springs to mind, it's a spontaneous action for me. "
I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but extreme chauvinism isn't going to land you with a rape charge, a tainted record and potential jail time, is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's rare at all, most people hold doors open etc. And it's not just something men should do for women, everyone can help each other out regardless of gender - and most of the time they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Dad stopped opening doors for women after he opened one on a train for a lady coming off a crowded train at Victoria in the late 70's. His gesture provoked an angry torrent of verbal abuse from the female, all Greer-like ultra-feminist stuff about humiliation of the fairer sex by the stale pale male etc. She was so abusive and offensive he refused to ever do it again! "
So because of one woman being rude to him, he decided to be rude to all women? |
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx"
So, if you change how you behave, because of them, we all sink down to their level.
Carry on being decent and good. If they don't like it, hard luck.
I know what I do is good and decent, I'm not changing that for anybody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx"
I think that's bollocks. I'm generally polite and show manners to people out and about, and they are polite and show manners back to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Extreme chauvinism exists too. I hate that as much as extreme feminism. But It wouldn't make me cast a blanket judgement over all men, and have me behaving in a certain way, on the off chance that they are a chauvinist. If someone is in need, I offer a hand. The word human decency springs to mind, it's a spontaneous action for me.
I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but extreme chauvinism isn't going to land you with a rape charge, a tainted record and potential jail time, is it?"
You do realise evidence of rape is needed? If someone is in a public place, and holds a door open for someone, doubtful they would end up in jail time for rape... But thanks for the laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You do realise evidence of rape is needed? If someone is in a public place, and holds a door open for someone, doubtful they would end up in jail time for rape... But thanks for the laugh "
You realise police can detain someone for an accusation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx
So, if you change how you behave, because of them, we all sink down to their level.
Carry on being decent and good. If they don't like it, hard luck.
I know what I do is good and decent, I'm not changing that for anybody."
I don't intend to change. I was brought up to treat people how I would like to be treated so that's what I do. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx"
I'm just saying be careful, not be ignorant. You offer help but be ready that it may have unpleasant consequences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Walking home from a well known supermarket this morning when I noticed a lady up ahead struggling to carry her shopping.
About 10 men walked past her without even a glance towards her, as I approached her I offered to help carry her shopping home as I couldn't leave her to struggle.
She was so pleased and we got talking about how the art of being a "gentleman" is a rare thing these days!
I'm amazed that guys don't hold doors open for ladies or will offer to help when needed, it appears the world is getting more and more selfish and this saddens me
One of my verifications even mentions I held a door open for her! So it must be rare!
Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent "
I thought a gentleman never tells |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You do realise evidence of rape is needed? If someone is in a public place, and holds a door open for someone, doubtful they would end up in jail time for rape... But thanks for the laugh
You realise police can detain someone for an accusation?"
Can you show me one such case of that ever happening please? Of someone being questioned for rape for holding a door open? Because I would love to see it |
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx
I'm just saying be careful, not be ignorant. You offer help but be ready that it may have unpleasant consequences."
I'm sorry, but it's BS. People are 'scared' of these things because of internet stories. Just do the right thing. There will be no unpleasant consequences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My awesome wee bro has downsyndrome, he will hold the door for anybody, even coming out the cinema he would hold the door and wait till everyone was out (you have to tell him to let go) last week he was doing just that and on the next set of doors a couple that he had let through on the first doors, went through the doors and let them close in his face, so he went though, walked ahead of them to the final set of doors and made a point of closing the doors in their faces.
Oh how I laughed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you show me one such case of that ever happening please? Of someone being questioned for rape for holding a door open? Because I would love to see it "
Happened to a friend of mine I went to college with.
I'm not saying outright "be a dick to women" .. Far from it. I'm saying that psychopathic women like that are the reason chivalry appears to be dead, or dying. |
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"Can you show me one such case of that ever happening please? Of someone being questioned for rape for holding a door open? Because I would love to see it
Happened to a friend of mine I went to college with.
I'm not saying outright "be a dick to women" .. Far from it. I'm saying that psychopathic women like that are the reason chivalry appears to be dead, or dying."
So, he was in a public place, held a door open for a woman. And he was then questioned on a rape allegation because of that?
I'm sorry, he was BSing you.
MrB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to be careful with that. You go and offer help and she'll say you have sexually abused her.
This might sound like a joke but sadly it isn't.
Unfortunately you are right, people are so scared of being accused of something that they would rather walk on by. I have stopped to help a lost child fund it's parents before and I picked him up and instantly felt like I could get in trouble for doing so, when in fact I was trying to reunite him with his parents and what was worse was the look his mother face me when I found her. I'm a mum and u would be very grateful for the safe return of my child I wouldn't instantly think that the person who brought them back is a potential pedo.
I would say gents like op are still here as I have one at home but thesw days people are rude and have no manners or compassion and couldn't give shit about others xx
I'm just saying be careful, not be ignorant. You offer help but be ready that it may have unpleasant consequences.
I'm sorry, but it's BS. People are 'scared' of these things because of internet stories. Just do the right thing. There will be no unpleasant consequences."
I'm sure this is BS and not a real outburst either. P.S this carried on, she was much more aggressive with her accusations later, even proceeded to fight a security officer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hml2d6aY5v4 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes when I'm out shopping, especially in Chester, I am faced with stairs.... So I struggle bumping the pram down them or carrying it up myself, you wouldn't believe the amount of men who look through you and generally only women offer to help.... That said, yesterday I was bouncing the pram down the steps by boodles and the man who stands outside there offered to help...I was so flabbergasted I stuttered and flapped I was in....not only was I flabbergasted by his offer, but he was rather tasty... So boodles man...yes I'd like a hand... In my knickers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I'm out shopping, especially in Chester, I am faced with stairs.... So I struggle bumping the pram down them or carrying it up myself, you wouldn't believe the amount of men who look through you and generally only women offer to help.... That said, yesterday I was bouncing the pram down the steps by boodles and the man who stands outside there offered to help...I was so flabbergasted I stuttered and flapped I was in....not only was I flabbergasted by his offer, but he was rather tasty... So boodles man...yes I'd like a hand... In my knickers "
Meant to say "I was ok" not in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you show me one such case of that ever happening please? Of someone being questioned for rape for holding a door open? Because I would love to see it
Happened to a friend of mine I went to college with.
I'm not saying outright "be a dick to women" .. Far from it. I'm saying that psychopathic women like that are the reason chivalry appears to be dead, or dying."
The women that do things like that usually have a bond or a fixation with that particular gentleman, it's very very rare that someone will make an accusation without knowing the person. They've normally been hurt by that person and choose false allegations as a way to hurt them back. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Good for you OP, although personally I don't think decency and consideration for others should just be limited to a gender thing (which this thread seems to have become in some respects) I'll stop and help anyone in need regardless of age, colour or gender, whether that be holding a door open, giving up a seat on a train/bus or something more serious. It's called human decency and is what I was bought up to show whenever possible. |
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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago
Belfast and Fife |
I've been told in no uncertain terms to go & have sex with myself, though she worded it with a bit more flavour, after offering to help carry some bags to a struggling shopper. One of those things, but does make you wary next time.
Also doesn't hurt for people to say thank you when you do hold the door open for them. I've stood for several minutes in busy shopping centres just holding a door, it's amazing how few even acknowledge you're standing there.
What can be said? Nice people are gonna be nice regardless. Then there's the rest of the world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I'm out shopping, especially in Chester, I am faced with stairs.... So I struggle bumping the pram down them or carrying it up myself, you wouldn't believe the amount of men who look through you and generally only women offer to help.... That said, yesterday I was bouncing the pram down the steps by boodles and the man who stands outside there offered to help...I was so flabbergasted I stuttered and flapped I was in....not only was I flabbergasted by his offer, but he was rather tasty... So boodles man...yes I'd like a hand... In my knickers
Meant to say "I was ok" not in."
Go boodles man !!! Jammy bleeder lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you show me one such case of that ever happening please? Of someone being questioned for rape for holding a door open? Because I would love to see it
Happened to a friend of mine I went to college with.
I'm not saying outright "be a dick to women" .. Far from it. I'm saying that psychopathic women like that are the reason chivalry appears to be dead, or dying."
Sorry, I meant a newspaper article link.
In my experience, chivalry is far from dead. The majority of men I have come across have held a door open for me, if I'm behind them. Or offered a hand when I look like I'm struggling. I'm not sure if it's a regional thing perhaps? But I've come across many chivalrous men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, he was in a public place, held a door open for a woman. And he was then questioned on a rape allegation because of that?
I'm sorry, he was BSing you.
MrB"
Nope, happened leaving a takeaway in the town I used to live.
He held the door open for her on the way out, she went nuts and said he raped her in the car park.
Next thing police show up at his door and he's being questioned. |
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"Surely anyone should offer help to another in need, regardless of gender?"
My daughter did the same to an old lady walking up some stairs,although how old she was I don't know probably about my age,anyone over 25 is old to a teenage aren't they! Anyway as you say it's not down to gender. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I'm out shopping, especially in Chester, I am faced with stairs.... So I struggle bumping the pram down them or carrying it up myself, you wouldn't believe the amount of men who look through you and generally only women offer to help.... That said, yesterday I was bouncing the pram down the steps by boodles and the man who stands outside there offered to help...I was so flabbergasted I stuttered and flapped I was in....not only was I flabbergasted by his offer, but he was rather tasty... So boodles man...yes I'd like a hand... In my knickers "
There pram thing always used to bother me and yes most of the time is was women that would help. I would never see anybody struggle if I can help I will and I have been subjected to verbal abuse because of it but it doesn't put me off. In the area that I work this is a regular occurrence. So.e people just don't want to be helped. I love having a door opened for me and I am quite happy to open doors for anybody. |
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"So, he was in a public place, held a door open for a woman. And he was then questioned on a rape allegation because of that?
I'm sorry, he was BSing you.
MrB
Nope, happened leaving a takeaway in the town I used to live.
He held the door open for her on the way out, she went nuts and said he raped her in the car park.
Next thing police show up at his door and he's being questioned."
Ok, the police will question anybody on an allegation, they have to. But anybody can make any allegation about anybody regardless.
To me it sounds like:
1,700 Uk road deaths - but still drive
60 people murdered on holiday - but still go on holiday
1 crazy woman says something once and nothing happens - completely change behavior.
Apply common sense, behave as you think is right and good.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Extreme chauvinism exists too. I hate that as much as extreme feminism. But It wouldn't make me cast a blanket judgement over all men, and have me behaving in a certain way, on the off chance that they are a chauvinist. If someone is in need, I offer a hand. The word human decency springs to mind, it's a spontaneous action for me.
I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but extreme chauvinism isn't going to land you with a rape charge, a tainted record and potential jail time, is it?"
No but extreme chauvinism can result in women being raped or sexually assaulted...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I expect people to hold doors open and help others because it's just a nice, friendly thing to. Unfortunately, people seem far too engrossed in their own lives to even realise people need help.
to the OP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Walking home from a well known supermarket this morning when I noticed a lady up ahead struggling to carry her shopping.
About 10 men walked past her without even a glance towards her, as I approached her I offered to help carry her shopping home as I couldn't leave her to struggle.
She was so pleased and we got talking about how the art of being a "gentleman" is a rare thing these days!
I'm amazed that guys don't hold doors open for ladies or will offer to help when needed, it appears the world is getting more and more selfish and this saddens me
One of my verifications even mentions I held a door open for her! So it must be rare!
Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent "
I held the door open for a woman and she told me"i CAN do it myself ya know"...made me feel like id been patronising her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I'm out shopping, especially in Chester, I am faced with stairs.... So I struggle bumping the pram down them or carrying it up myself, you wouldn't believe the amount of men who look through you and generally only women offer to help.... That said, yesterday I was bouncing the pram down the steps by boodles and the man who stands outside there offered to help...I was so flabbergasted I stuttered and flapped I was in....not only was I flabbergasted by his offer, but he was rather tasty... So boodles man...yes I'd like a hand... In my knickers
There pram thing always used to bother me and yes most of the time is was women that would help. I would never see anybody struggle if I can help I will and I have been subjected to verbal abuse because of it but it doesn't put me off. In the area that I work this is a regular occurrence. So.e people just don't want to be helped. I love having a door opened for me and I am quite happy to open doors for anybody. "
I never verbally abuse anyone for offering help...I do however say "thanks" very loudly to people I have held doors open etc for....
I need all the help I can get, you know, I'm bloody old and shattered, this baby nonsense at my age is killing me off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think peopke should just be nice to each other!!
Why does it have to turn into a gender/feminist issue!
Just be nice!!!
Open doors for anyone!
Take the coat of yr guests!
Offer a hot drink in cold days!
Carry bags of whoever is struggling!
Cross the old lady/gentleman over he road!
It's basic manners!!!
Being nice costs nothing and you will feel better when you've done it!!
Well done OP but yeah sadly yr right, everyone sees less and less because people are so self absorbed!!
I'd love a man to open a door for me....and smack my arse when going through ha cheeky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Dad stopped opening doors for women after he opened one on a train for a lady coming off a crowded train at Victoria in the late 70's. His gesture provoked an angry torrent of verbal abuse from the female, all Greer-like ultra-feminist stuff about humiliation of the fairer sex by the stale pale male etc. She was so abusive and offensive he refused to ever do it again!
So because of one woman being rude to him, he decided to be rude to all women? "
Not at all! He was never rude. But he did stop helping them by playing the type of male chauvenist pig that opens doors for women! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Walking home from a well known supermarket this morning when I noticed a lady up ahead struggling to carry her shopping.
About 10 men walked past her without even a glance towards her, as I approached her I offered to help carry her shopping home as I couldn't leave her to struggle.
She was so pleased and we got talking about how the art of being a "gentleman" is a rare thing these days!
I'm amazed that guys don't hold doors open for ladies or will offer to help when needed, it appears the world is getting more and more selfish and this saddens me
One of my verifications even mentions I held a door open for her! So it must be rare!
Just thought I'd post this in the hope it might give a few guys a kick up the arse to be a gent "
Gentlemen do exist and in my neck of the woods too xx |
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