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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas?

He felt his presence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!!

( 0 8 )

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!!

( 0 8 )"

Wow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call the fear of Father Christmas?

Claus-trophobia

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you call the fear of Father Christmas?

Claus-trophobia

These are getting goood

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the definition of a chastity belt.

Clunk Click no Dick

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/12/16 22:30:10]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's the definition of a chastity belt.

Clunk Click no Dick

Creativity second to Nun

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

More come on

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By *ed wineMan over a year ago

Where the streets have no name

"Yeah babe, tell me dirty things..."

" I've just shit and the loo is stuck"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the definition of a chastity belt.

Clunk Click no Dick

Made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whats the difference between a Giraffe and a JCB ?

One has hydraulics the other has high bollox

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Whats the difference between a Giraffe and a JCB ?

One has hydraulics the other has high bollox "

It's always the shit jokes that get to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call fake spaghetti?

Impasta...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two snowmen chatting........ one says " can you smell carrots?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you call fake spaghetti?

Impasta..."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two gold fish in a tank one looks at the other and asks "how do you drive this thing!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Two gold fish in a tank one looks at the other and asks "how do you drive this thing!""

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/12/16 12:16:32]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two fish swam into a wall. Damn!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Doug

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Doug"

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

What do you get if you drop a piano down a coalmine?

A Flat minor

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the difference between an egg and a wank....

You can beat an egg you can't beat a wank

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

Is it to do with 'labels' ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When are apples not apples?

When there's two...they are a pair.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

This week on St Andrews day, I was chatting with some blokes in the pub.

First says 'I was born on St Andrews day, so my middle name is Andrew'

2nd 'there's a co-incidence, I was born on St Patricks day, my middle name is Patrick'

I ask the third guy his middle name - he replies 'Pancake'

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas?

He felt his presence.

Luke skywalker is in a Chinese restaurant, eating chop-suey with chopsticks, getting it all over his face and shirt.

In his head he hears a voice - 'Luke , use the forks'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

Choked!!!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

Why did pirates get to be called 'pirates'?

I dunno either.- They just aaaarrrrr

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

Choked!!! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo???

One is big and heavy, the others a little lighter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where is an elephants sex organ?

In its foot - if it stands on you you're fucked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

Is it to do with 'labels' ?"

You can't marmalade your cock up a girls arse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch

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By *inger SiMan over a year ago

Walsall

Two monkey's in a bath and one says "Ooo Ooo ahh ahh ahh"

The other says "put some cold in then."

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

Is it to do with 'labels' ?

You can't marmalade your cock up a girls arse.

Similar to Sherlok Holmes smearing lemon curd on Watson's arse -

'What are you doing Holmes?'

'Lemon Entry my dear Watson, lemon entry'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the difference between a clever dwarf and a wet foof?

One's a cunning runt, the other one isn't.....(i can't bring myself to use that word! Ha)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

a guy goes on fab and puts "straight" on his profile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a wank over my ex girlfriend last night....

It's not difficult, she is a heavy sleeper and I've still got a front door key...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the difference between snow men and snow women????

Snowballs!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Menu in curry house read "special mini tarka curry"

I asked what that meant.the waiter replied "it's like a normal curry,but just a little otter"

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

Men and stupid jokes

.... grr

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By *onhorMan over a year ago

here

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you and indian lesbian minge eater

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"When are apples not apples?

When there's two...they are a pair."

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip!

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan over a year ago

Willenhall

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"I don't know what you're shaking for, she's going to fucking eat me!"

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

What's the best ever Christmas present?

A broken drum...you just can't beat it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Q: What kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?

A: A Noisy Noise Annoys an Oyster.

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