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Crossing the professional line
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Righty had some decent advice previously so will put this one out there.
I recently met a girl in a professional capacity and now don't need to have contact with her, although I'm aware she went beyond what she needed to do by quite a margin.
Now I did look her up on Facebook naturally but weary about contacting her that way as a tad stalkerish.
Thinking a handwritten letter leaving the ball in her court - without contravening the professional aspect?
Now certainly I've got this wrong before but ugly enough to think there was a glimmer there although slim.
Any thoughts or advice?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm normally against mixing business and pleasure but I don't think asking her if she wants to go for a drink is exactly unprofessional or inappropriate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also depends on the nature of the contact - if its a medical contact i would say definitely not - if youre a sales guy and she was a customer then - prob ok as its slightly different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's just my manager accidentally looked me up on Facebook.
Gave me the creeps! "
Accidentally?? Just tripped over you whilst looking fir someone with the same name?  |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I guess, because we don't know the ins and out of your 'relationship,' that it's a call only you can make.
If you feel comfortable in terms of professional boundaries then go for it. If you're questioning boundaries then I would caution on the side of err! |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"It's just my manager accidentally looked me up on Facebook.
Gave me the creeps!
Accidentally?? Just tripped over you whilst looking fir someone with the same name? "
Apparently we had a mutual friend you may know! Didn't stop him looking at my pics! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's just my manager accidentally looked me up on Facebook.
Gave me the creeps!
Accidentally?? Just tripped over you whilst looking fir someone with the same name?
Apparently we had a mutual friend you may know! Didn't stop him looking at my pics! "
Well i dont know if id want to see a work colleague naked - well on here - theres one at Xmas i fully intend to see naked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's just my manager accidentally looked me up on Facebook.
Gave me the creeps!
Accidentally?? Just tripped over you whilst looking fir someone with the same name?
Apparently we had a mutual friend you may know! Didn't stop him looking at my pics! "
Oh and your profile is hilarious but your age limit is way too low for my liking - prob needs +2 yrs so i can send you inane messages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess, because we don't know the ins and out of your 'relationship,' that it's a call only you can make.
If you feel comfortable in terms of professional boundaries then go for it. If you're questioning boundaries then I would caution on the side of err! "
I won't be seeing her again in that capacity- |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck it harmless letter no further contact and if not life rolls on"
personally, i would find a letter way more stalkery and creepy than a facebook message...fb is at least very public... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck it harmless letter no further contact and if not life rolls on"
I know sort of how you feel. There's a guy that comes in the gym I work in and he works in a well known car dealership, he gave me his number on a piece of paper as he didn't have business cards on him and said to call him when I'm ready to get a new car. I haven't called him, Its been a few ninths since he gave me it and I've seen him loads of times since and he's asked when I'm gonna get my car and call! I've just saved his number in my phone and I look at his whatsapp picture all the time! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"It's just my manager accidentally looked me up on Facebook.
Gave me the creeps! "
I have set it so Search engines can't find me fb account and I have removed job company as well
For me it's like because of football lifestyle it's sounds like I am worse behaved than I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you no longer have any need of her services in a professional capacity then I don't see the harm in sending a letter..
however, you might have taken her helpfulness out of all proportion because you fancy her anyway and she may have just seen it as going the extra mile by being extra helpful...
its a fine line IMO |
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I think deep down we know who fancies us and who doesn't, if you dealt with each other in a professional capacity and she went above and beyond it doesn't mean she fancies you, it might mean she is just a person who takes pride in what she does and is super helpful, I am like that at work but either way my motto is "don't screw the crew" and I wouldn't contact her if I were you |
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"Righty had some decent advice previously so will put this one out there.
I recently met a girl in a professional capacity and now don't need to have contact with her, although I'm aware she went beyond what she needed to do by quite a margin.
Now I did look her up on Facebook naturally but weary about contacting her that way as a tad stalkerish.
Thinking a handwritten letter leaving the ball in her court - without contravening the professional aspect?
Now certainly I've got this wrong before but ugly enough to think there was a glimmer there although slim.
Any thoughts or advice?
"
This sort of thing happened to me years ago before internet and took the form of a note on my desk. I took it no further and it was horribly embarrassing when we met again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck it harmless letter no further contact and if not life rolls on
personally, i would find a letter way more stalkery and creepy than a facebook message...fb is at least very public...
Agree!   "
I'd agree with this. I'd probably just leave it altogether, but if you must contact her do it by some casual method like email. A letter is a bit star-crossed lovers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In the end I've done nothing- since whichever option I take inevitably will be the wrong one and will blow up in my face.
Just when life shines a brief light onto you it shows you're also knee deep in mire.
To be happy, or have someone else in my life to be happy with is something that's beyond my reach. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
To be happy, or have someone else in my life to be happy with is something that's beyond my reach.
Because you've decided not to contact one woman?
"
It's the straw that's broken the camel's back. I think the help i need isn't on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
To be happy, or have someone else in my life to be happy with is something that's beyond my reach.
Because you've decided not to contact one woman?
It's the straw that's broken the camel's back. I think the help i need isn't on fab."
*Alec Guinness voice*
*waves hand* this isn't the help you're looking for |
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If your contact hadn't given an indication of wanting to explore a non-business type relationship, then I wouldn't think it appropriate to contact her via personal website methods etc.
If you seriously feel that there is something that she's communicated to you, then you could send a message via your professional contact system. Even then, it should be restrained and professional. Overall, it's not a great thing to do, if you're pursuing a female, as it could end very badly imo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the end I've done nothing- since whichever option I take inevitably will be the wrong one and will blow up in my face.
Just when life shines a brief light onto you it shows you're also knee deep in mire.
To be happy, or have someone else in my life to be happy with is something that's beyond my reach. "
No wonder yer on here with no avatar pic
If ya too scared or shy to roll with it then move aside for a bloke who doesn't fanny around like you  |
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