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Elimination of Violence Against Women
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ"
is this something I should be passing on to my mysoginistic ex husband?  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
is this something I should be passing on to my mysoginistic ex husband? "
Possibly the Jackson Katz one - he works with the American Marines and sports teams.
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ"
It's quite sad that in this day and age,we still need an
International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day.
 |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?"
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
|
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
It's quite sad that in this day and age,we still need an
International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day.
"
Ch4's report this evening was on school girls in African countries being forced to have sex in order to get their school grades. There's more I could write but as we tend to clash in viewpoints around these things I will stop.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
"
That is right too, but there are still women that does it to men and in relationships, but yeah the law is usually with the women in most cases, but its good with such a day too. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
That is right too, but there are still women that does it to men and in relationships, but yeah the law is usually with the women in most cases, but its good with such a day too."
OK, this is exactly the sort of comment that comes early in these threads and derails it to being about men not having a fair deal. And gets me labelled as the most evil of all feminists.
Can we try, just for once on Fab, for it to be about what the day is actually about?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
It's quite sad that in this day and age,we still need an
International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day.
"
Here here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well said and well done. There is no place in society for violence towards woman or girls.
I abhor any violence towards women and also mental cruelty.
We have a responsibility to be more compassionate to our fellow humans . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
That is right too, but there are still women that does it to men and in relationships, but yeah the law is usually with the women in most cases, but its good with such a day too."
Statistically a much smaller amount though, and by no means is it any less relevant, but the OP is 100% correct. It's a day to highlight the fact that we still need to address the issue of violence against women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
That is right too, but there are still women that does it to men and in relationships, but yeah the law is usually with the women in most cases, but its good with such a day too.
OK, this is exactly the sort of comment that comes early in these threads and derails it to being about men not having a fair deal. And gets me labelled as the most evil of all feminists.
Can we try, just for once on Fab, for it to be about what the day is actually about?
"
Yes we could and I did say in the end as well it was a good day too. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
That is right too, but there are still women that does it to men and in relationships, but yeah the law is usually with the women in most cases, but its good with such a day too.
OK, this is exactly the sort of comment that comes early in these threads and derails it to being about men not having a fair deal. And gets me labelled as the most evil of all feminists.
Can we try, just for once on Fab, for it to be about what the day is actually about?
"
I do enjoy reading your threads Lickety. Hopefully this won't become another about the poor menfolk and evil feminists. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
"
Domestic violence is on the increase from women to men.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/why-female-violence-against-men-is-societys-last-great-taboo/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
Domestic violence is on the increase from women to men.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/why-female-violence-against-men-is-societys-last-great-taboo/"
I'm sure you're right and it is an important issue, but this thread is about violence towards women because that's what today's about. If violence against men is an issue you're actually passionate about, go ahead and campaign for it and start threads about it and I'll support you, but don't derail this thread. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
Domestic violence is on the increase from women to men.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/why-female-violence-against-men-is-societys-last-great-taboo/"
I'm not saying it isn't... but not in most countries in the world and the day is about violence against women. The thread will, it seems, inevitably be about men and what they are experiencing.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
Domestic violence is on the increase from women to men.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/why-female-violence-against-men-is-societys-last-great-taboo/
I'm sure you're right and it is an important issue, but this thread is about violence towards women because that's what today's about. If violence against men is an issue you're actually passionate about, go ahead and campaign for it and start threads about it and I'll support you, but don't derail this thread."
I can answer how I like to be fair as long as it didn't break rules. I answered a point Lickerty made which is allowed. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'd prefer a thread against violence."
Great. Start one.
I know anyone can post what they like as long as they don't break the rules. By that token I post that the DAY is about violence against women and that's what the THREAD is about.
I will also repeat the request that that is what is discussed. The fact the every time a thread about violence against women is raised it spends most of it discussing how much violence men experience, from women, usually, or by other men beggars belief. Ironic but not in least bit amusing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
Domestic violence is on the increase from women to men.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/why-female-violence-against-men-is-societys-last-great-taboo/
I'm sure you're right and it is an important issue, but this thread is about violence towards women because that's what today's about. If violence against men is an issue you're actually passionate about, go ahead and campaign for it and start threads about it and I'll support you, but don't derail this thread.
I can answer how I like to be fair as long as it didn't break rules. I answered a point Lickerty made which is allowed."
The point that Lickerty made was that it's still a small percentage. The rise is concerning and I agree that it's an issue that needs to be raised, but you're missing the point that talking about violence against men in a thread about today being the international day against violence against women completely derails all relevant discussion about violence against women (as is happening right now!).
Your more than welcome to reply however you want, just like I'm allowed to call you out when your comments aren't quite relevant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than."
The second link in the OP covers some of this.
There is some interesting work on heteronormative behaviour and how it affects men and women, as well as LGBTQI.
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
It's quite sad that in this day and age,we still need an
International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day.
Ch4's report this evening was on school girls in African countries being forced to have sex in order to get their school grades. There's more I could write but as we tend to clash in viewpoints around these things I will stop.
"
Not this time.
Not to recognise,and be sickened,
by the violence suffered by many many women throughout the world.
Often condoned by governments.
Would be inhumane.
Even a chauvinist has the ability to recognise,
When something is so intrinsically wrong.
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"In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than."
Sorry Lickety, can you clarify this ^^
Is the day about violence against women, or violence against women by men?
The last figures I saw put abuse against women on the net as being carried out by women slightly more than men, and as far as I am aware (at the opposite end of the scale) pretty much all cases of FGM are carried out by women.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than.
The second link in the OP covers some of this.
There is some interesting work on heteronormative behaviour and how it affects men and women, as well as LGBTQI.
"
I'll take a look at it!
I don't know if it's in any of the articles you've shared, but I've read a lot of articles on how toxic masculinity feeds a lot into physical and sexual violence against women. Again it's a big cultural shift to change that, so it'll require a lot of organisation and planning, which isn't really happening at the moment.
The no more page 3 campaign had the right idea, but they won a small victory and stopped campaigning when they should've kept going. The ingrained social thought processes don't change just because one outlet covered up women's nipples! |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than.
Sorry Lickety, can you clarify this ^^
Is the day about violence against women, or violence against women by men?
The last figures I saw put abuse against women on the net as being carried out by women slightly more than men, and as far as I am aware (at the opposite end of the scale) pretty much all cases of FGM are carried out by women.
Mr ddc"
It's violence against women, including FGM carried out by women (the reason being to be pure and tight for men). It's not specifically about violence perpetrated by men. I didn't write the post you have quoted but there is still a male power balance across the world. The day is INTERNATIONAL and many of the women affected aren't on the net.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than.
The second link in the OP covers some of this.
There is some interesting work on heteronormative behaviour and how it affects men and women, as well as LGBTQI.
I'll take a look at it!
I don't know if it's in any of the articles you've shared, but I've read a lot of articles on how toxic masculinity feeds a lot into physical and sexual violence against women. Again it's a big cultural shift to change that, so it'll require a lot of organisation and planning, which isn't really happening at the moment.
The no more page 3 campaign had the right idea, but they won a small victory and stopped campaigning when they should've kept going. The ingrained social thought processes don't change just because one outlet covered up women's nipples!"
I'm confused by your last point because there was a big campaign around instagram about women not being allowed to show their nipples? |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
I think it's very important, especially with the rise of the so called "alt-right" when it's actually just the far right with slightly better branding.
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
I don't see things getting any better under trump.
Thank god for the NHS. |
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" It's not specifically about violence perpetrated by men.
"
Thanks for clarifying, that wasn't quite how it was reading.
The reports I have seen state that the women who carry out FGM do it out of a sense of honour, because *they* feel it makes *their* daughters appear more pure. Perhaps just saying "FGM is wrong" is something we can all agree on, rather than "FGM carried out for men is wrong", which simply seems designed to be antagonist.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In response to the actual topic, I think there's a huge cultural shift we have to address. The media commodifies and objectifies women all the time, so boys and men are taught subconsciously all through their lives that women are objects for them to win, we're there for their pleasure, so it's not hard to see why violence against women is so common- everything around us in society and the media is screaming that we're less than.
The second link in the OP covers some of this.
There is some interesting work on heteronormative behaviour and how it affects men and women, as well as LGBTQI.
I'll take a look at it!
I don't know if it's in any of the articles you've shared, but I've read a lot of articles on how toxic masculinity feeds a lot into physical and sexual violence against women. Again it's a big cultural shift to change that, so it'll require a lot of organisation and planning, which isn't really happening at the moment.
The no more page 3 campaign had the right idea, but they won a small victory and stopped campaigning when they should've kept going. The ingrained social thought processes don't change just because one outlet covered up women's nipples! I'm confused by your last point because there was a big campaign around instagram about women not being allowed to show their nipples?"
The no more page 3 campaign was campaign specifically against the objectification of women in newspapers (the epitome of which is page 3 of the sun!) which is more of a systematic thing. It was never specifically about nipples or boobs, which is why I say they shouldn't have stopped campaigning when they did.
The idea behind the instagram campaign is that there's nothing sexual about a woman's nipples, they look exactly the same as men's. But for some reason women have their photos removed if there's even a tiny bit of nipple showing.
Basically the idea is that if women want to show their bodies on social media they can, but the media and society as a whole shouldn't be enforcing objectification on us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's very important, especially with the rise of the so called "alt-right" when it's actually just the far right with slightly better branding.
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
I don't see things getting any better under trump.
Thank god for the NHS. "
What's left of it at least! But that's an entirely different issue that I could rant about for days! |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
" It's not specifically about violence perpetrated by men.
Thanks for clarifying, that wasn't quite how it was reading.
The reports I have seen state that the women who carry out FGM do it out of a sense of honour, because *they* feel it makes *their* daughters appear more pure. Perhaps just saying "FGM is wrong" is something we can all agree on, rather than "FGM carried out for men is wrong", which simply seems designed to be antagonist.
"
I have been working on FGM stuff for over 10 years. I don't say anything to be 'simply designed to be antagonist' about men. I have based what I wrote on the conversations with men and women who have experienced and been affected by FGM.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd prefer a thread against violence.
Great. Start one.
I know anyone can post what they like as long as they don't break the rules. By that token I post that the DAY is about violence against women and that's what the THREAD is about.
I will also repeat the request that that is what is discussed. The fact the every time a thread about violence against women is raised it spends most of it discussing how much violence men experience, from women, usually, or by other men beggars belief. Ironic but not in least bit amusing.
"
.
Oh, well I do apologise and wish you well with your thread  |
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" I don't say anything to be 'simply designed to be antagonistic' about men. "
Okay
But can you see my point about the difference though? Especially when the facts simply don't back up the inference? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my ex is seriously in denial - even though the kids saw what he did he still says its always been us 3 against him - yes and it will be for the rest of your miserable life because of the way you are  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my ex is seriously in denial - even though the kids saw what he did he still says its always been us 3 against him - yes and it will be for the rest of your miserable life because of the way you are "
This is quite a common thing, trying to play the victim! I'm sorry you were ever in that position, but I'm so glad you're out and safe! |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
"
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for? "
.
Do you know that song Mr ddc.... It goes just walk away walk away |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for? "
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my ex is seriously in denial - even though the kids saw what he did he still says its always been us 3 against him - yes and it will be for the rest of your miserable life because of the way you are
This is quite a common thing, trying to play the victim! I'm sorry you were ever in that position, but I'm so glad you're out and safe!"
he is one of those men who is never wrong - he hasnt looked me straight in the face since i left - and now the kids are past 18 i have nothing to do with him at all - and they have precious little time for him either - he will be a very lonely old man and i for one will not shed a tear for him ever again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for? "
I think the issue isn't in proportions of the population, it's in representation in government. If you look at the governments of the US and the UK the majority are white, rich, and men. This lack of representation means that the voices of oppressed people (women, people of colour, LGBTQ people, etc.) aren't heard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my ex is seriously in denial - even though the kids saw what he did he still says its always been us 3 against him - yes and it will be for the rest of your miserable life because of the way you are
This is quite a common thing, trying to play the victim! I'm sorry you were ever in that position, but I'm so glad you're out and safe!
he is one of those men who is never wrong - he hasnt looked me straight in the face since i left - and now the kids are past 18 i have nothing to do with him at all - and they have precious little time for him either - he will be a very lonely old man and i for one will not shed a tear for him ever again "
That's the best attitude to have! He clearly has no power over you at all anymore! |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men? "
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will never understand the desperate, twisting need to take something so undeniably present in the world as violence against women, and try to demean campaigning against it with diversionary, blustering arguments that because men suffer violence too that somehow negates it all.
(I realise that sentence structure is hideous, but God this winds me up.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my ex is seriously in denial - even though the kids saw what he did he still says its always been us 3 against him - yes and it will be for the rest of your miserable life because of the way you are
This is quite a common thing, trying to play the victim! I'm sorry you were ever in that position, but I'm so glad you're out and safe!
he is one of those men who is never wrong - he hasnt looked me straight in the face since i left - and now the kids are past 18 i have nothing to do with him at all - and they have precious little time for him either - he will be a very lonely old man and i for one will not shed a tear for him ever again
That's the best attitude to have! He clearly has no power over you at all anymore!"
not at all -  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it. "
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!) |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
" I don't say anything to be 'simply designed to be antagonistic' about men.
Okay
But can you see my point about the difference though? Especially when the facts simply don't back up the inference? "
I'm not having this row with you again. Your statement of 'facts' choose to ignore the underlying reasons, which I have heard many times over very many years.
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Globally it's sickening what is almost officially ignored by governments. We are so fortunate in comparison to the many women in other countries, where their lives, safety and health are degraded.
Thanks Lickety for raising this again  |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)"
So it's only rich old men that bother you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?"
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class. |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class."
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it. "
You see I thought we were talking about the government that they voted for, because you said "Do they simply not get the government they voted for?" and didn't mention anything about the policy, silly me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly."
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't get the point of these days. Yes its bad but most people know this and the people who inflict violence against women generally know this but they do little to change the situation like cancer awareness months etc |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly.
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"?"
I added facts, you haven't, please feel free to do so.
|
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I signed the pledge in support of the White Ribbon campaign this morning. All violence is abhorrent. "
White Ribbon hasn't really taken off in this country but thank you for mentioning it. I didn't label the thread White Ribbon Day as I didn't think anyone would know about it.
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Violence against people is wrong.
Violence against women is no worse or less important than violence against men.
It is not a them and us. We all need to address all violence against all people.
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
Let us realise the only way to stop violence is to help the perpetrators understand why they need to do something different. Simply demonising them and telling them they cannot think or act like that means they will simply do what they did before, but out of sight.
People only change when they realise that another path is better. You cannot yell at them and assume that will work.
We need to start getting this right. We cannot afford to remain factionalised and divided. Let's stop blaming and start changing. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly.
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"?
I added facts, you haven't, please feel free to do so.
"
By the way, we were talking about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US, so the fact that in the UK we have a female PM makes not the slightest bit of difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly.
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"?
I added facts, you haven't, please feel free to do so.
"
Give me a minute to find the numbers! I'm trying to have a bath here! 
On just a quick Google search, your "facts" are completely inaccurate. There are 191 female MPs in the last official figures, which is a very low proportion of the 650 total MPs in the house of commons. Especially considering the proportion of women in the UK population. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly.
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"?
I added facts, you haven't, please feel free to do so.
"
22% of MPs are female. 7% of FTSE100 bosses are female. 28% of judges in courts are female. There are a myriad of reasons behind all these things which don't all involve discrimination or oppression, such as choice, taking leave to raise children, etc etc. But to suggest the existence of a female PM means that government and the ruling class isn't overwhelmingly male dominated is laughable.
And that's in this country, where women have equality in law. Internationally (as the thread is about) the injustices are clear and heartbreaking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
"
Uhh, was that deliberate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Violence against people is wrong.
Violence against women is no worse or less important than violence against men.
It is not a them and us. We all need to address all violence against all people.
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
Let us realise the only way to stop violence is to help the perpetrators understand why they need to do something different. Simply demonising them and telling them they cannot think or act like that means they will simply do what they did before, but out of sight.
People only change when they realise that another path is better. You cannot yell at them and assume that will work.
We need to start getting this right. We cannot afford to remain factionalised and divided. Let's stop blaming and start changing."
Hit the nail on the head. We couldn't agree more. |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly.
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"?
I added facts, you haven't, please feel free to do so.
Give me a minute to find the numbers! I'm trying to have a bath here!
On just a quick Google search, your "facts" are completely inaccurate. There are 191 female MPs in the last official figures, which is a very low proportion of the 650 total MPs in the house of commons. Especially considering the proportion of women in the UK population."
My facts were not incorrect, I quoted the number of female cabinet ministers. |
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"
It's terrible hearing about the denial of sexual and reproductive health care in the US. Where old white men still think they should control what women do with their bodies.
(I realise I'm pushing my luck, so this will be my last attempt at maintaining a sense of balance)
In a democracy where the votes of men and women are counted equally, how can 51% of the population feel that they are a minority suppressed by old white men? Do they simply not get the government they voted for?
What if the only candidates that the parties put forward were old white men?
Sorry, I assumed we were simply discussing the policy (ie abortion), not the fact that the problem was simply 'men'.
Oh well, enjoy the thread, sorry I spoilt it.
The problem isn't men as a whole, it's the ruling class. (which is predominantly made up of rich white men- which is where the lack o representation in government comes in!)
So it's only rich old men that bother you?
Not even all rich old men. Not all rich old men are part of the ruling class.
I believe there are eight women in the cabinet office currently. With the prime minister also female. I think your facts are skewed slightly.
What about MPs, boardrooms, the judiciary? If you want to trade "facts"?
I added facts, you haven't, please feel free to do so.
Give me a minute to find the numbers! I'm trying to have a bath here!
On just a quick Google search, your "facts" are completely inaccurate. There are 191 female MPs in the last official figures, which is a very low proportion of the 650 total MPs in the house of commons. Especially considering the proportion of women in the UK population."
What proportion of the total number of candidates were female?
That is the number which really matters in this context as I doubt very much that most people vote on the basis of the sex of the candidate.
Thus equality of opportunity comes when there are roughly fifty percent of one sex and fifty percent of the other.
Who gets elected is then down to who has the best policy and if that is skewed towards one sex or another after any given election then we have no problem as equality of opportunity is what matters. We cannot and must not dictate who is elected. Otherwise we risk putting people in who are not democratically required. |
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"
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
Uhh, was that deliberate? "
Yes, the second paragraph is not stating the reasons a person was motivated to violence such as "you don't respect X or Y" but a simple statement of fact regarding why people react to any given situation. Humans always react in the way they think will give them the most desireable outcome for the least energy expenditure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
Uhh, was that deliberate?
Yes, the second paragraph is not stating the reasons a person was motivated to violence such as "you don't respect X or Y" but a simple statement of fact regarding why people react to any given situation. Humans always react in the way they think will give them the most desireable outcome for the least energy expenditure."
But the whole:
"I smack women about because it makes sense in my head to do so"...
...is a pretty fucking "asshole" reason. |
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"
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
Uhh, was that deliberate?
Yes, the second paragraph is not stating the reasons a person was motivated to violence such as "you don't respect X or Y" but a simple statement of fact regarding why people react to any given situation. Humans always react in the way they think will give them the most desireable outcome for the least energy expenditure.
But the whole:
"I smack women about because it makes sense in my head to do so"...
...is a pretty fucking "asshole" reason."
I agree.
So what?
Telling that person they are wrong won't stop them.
To fix this you need to be dispassionate and look for the causes unaffected by personal bias for or against one party.
If you are more concerned with criticising, blaming or being seen to react strongly to gain approval then you will never gain the trust of those you are trying to change.
If you are happy failing to fix a problem so that you can be seen to be making the socially desireable noises, then you are only a little better than the perpetrators as you are choosing to let them continue but are seeking to elevate yourself at the same time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If you are more concerned with criticising, blaming or being seen to react strongly to gain approval then you will never gain the trust of those you are trying to change.
"
^ you need to think about that.
Because if that's your viewpoint..you're part of the problem.
That approach is not solving or "fixing" it...you're condoning it by saying "It's not really your fault".
And that's a pretty dumb way to go about trying fix something like that. |
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"
If you are more concerned with criticising, blaming or being seen to react strongly to gain approval then you will never gain the trust of those you are trying to change.
^ you need to think about that.
Because if that's your viewpoint..you're part of the problem.
That approach is not solving or "fixing" it...you're condoning it by saying "It's not really your fault".
And that's a pretty dumb way to go about trying fix something like that."
Eh what??
How did you come to that conclusion?
Where have I said it is not the fault of the perpetrator?
But the perpetrator is not going to change on their own so if we want it to change, we have an obligation to either do it properly or stop complaining about it.
If you don't like something, fix it.
Then stop taking my comments out of context and criticising them on the basis of their out of context nature. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Violence against people is wrong.
Violence against women is no worse or less important than violence against men.
It is not a them and us. We all need to address all violence against all people.
Let's start trying to listen to the reasons people commit these acts as opposed to telling the perpetrators what they were thinking.
Anyone who resorts to violence does so because they cannot see any other path which will give them a desireable outcome.
Let us realise the only way to stop violence is to help the perpetrators understand why they need to do something different. Simply demonising them and telling them they cannot think or act like that means they will simply do what they did before, but out of sight.
People only change when they realise that another path is better. You cannot yell at them and assume that will work.
We need to start getting this right. We cannot afford to remain factionalised and divided. Let's stop blaming and start changing."
True,Violence against women is no worse,or less important,
than violence against men.
although it is considerably more common.
There are Countries where female genital mutilation,
on children,is the norm.
Countries where Female rape victims,are more likely to be convicted,and jailed,than the the assailant.
I'm pretty sure those countries already realise there is another path,but they're not taking it.
.
In the future maybe we'll have a day highlighting violence against guys.
Maybe a,Stop hitting me with your handbag day.
Yes,All violence is wrong,
though not always comparable.
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"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
"
BTW on the domestic front, it is termed Domestic Abuse not Domestic Violence to include all the other things that happen. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-violence-and-abuse
Could we look at abuse all people thanks.
Whilst Woman's Aid et al did ground breaking work years ago, I do not trust their single issue lobbying which gets them funding for women not men.
40% of domestic violence is against men www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/
There are precious few facilities for men and the LGBT community. Where do you places a pre op transgender woman escaping domestic abuse?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I swear to god some people could start an argument in an empty room.
This thread is to point people in the direction of something close to the op's heart, but its being hijacked by people who just want to p!lay devils advocate, there is nothing stopping anyone starting their own thread, without taking away from this one.
If your mad at feminists = post a thread
If you think lgbtq rights are over looked = post a thread
If you think there should be more help for wealthy white Anglo Saxon men = post a thread
But don't hijack someone else's thread to the point that the original message is lost, think for a minute, and then comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ"
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I swear to god some people could start an argument in an empty room.
This thread is to point people in the direction of something close to the op's heart, but its being hijacked by people who just want to p!lay devils advocate, there is nothing stopping anyone starting their own thread, without taking away from this one.
If your mad at feminists = post a thread
If you think lgbtq rights are over looked = post a thread
If you think there should be more help for wealthy white Anglo Saxon men = post a thread
But don't hijack someone else's thread to the point that the original message is lost, think for a minute, and then comment"
You sir, are awesome |
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"I wonder if there is the same day for men?
There isn't. Most violence against men is perpetrated by men. In both cases the issue is, by and large, men's behaviour that needs addressing.
That is right too, but there are still women that does it to men and in relationships, but yeah the law is usually with the women in most cases, but its good with such a day too.
OK, this is exactly the sort of comment that comes early in these threads and derails it to being about men not having a fair deal. And gets me labelled as the most evil of all feminists.
Can we try, just for once on Fab, for it to be about what the day is actually about?
I do enjoy reading your threads Lickety. Hopefully this won't become another about the poor menfolk and evil feminists."
Exactly why the first video is so important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I swear to god some people could start an argument in an empty room.
This thread is to point people in the direction of something close to the op's heart, but its being hijacked by people who just want to p!lay devils advocate, there is nothing stopping anyone starting their own thread, without taking away from this one.
If your mad at feminists = post a thread
If you think lgbtq rights are over looked = post a thread
If you think there should be more help for wealthy white Anglo Saxon men = post a thread
But don't hijack someone else's thread to the point that the original message is lost, think for a minute, and then comment"
Sorry to tangent slightly but what does the q in LGBTQ stand for? Pardon my ignorance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And this thread is a very worthy and interesting one but I feel a little bit sad that things have taken the turn they have.... surely as a victim of domestic abuse you would be happy to have support from any avenue, if that was from a male sufferer too. All victims should stand together and specifically targeting one demographic doesnt and won't solve the causes.
I was a victim of physical and mental abuse and I heartily support your cause Lickety but I would accept support from any quarter and would support someone in the same way.
I've long considered myself a feminist, I support the movement and work to change the attitudes in others but I sometimes think that fragmenting the focus only serves to dilute and alienate support |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry to tangent slightly but what does the q in LGBTQ stand for? Pardon my ignorance
Queer "
Isn't that covered under the other parts? Is this appropriation of negative words?
Sorry it's early and this isn't the thread for this discussion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry to tangent slightly but what does the q in LGBTQ stand for? Pardon my ignorance
Queer
Isn't that covered under the other parts? Is this appropriation of negative words?
Sorry it's early and this isn't the thread for this discussion "
Some people use it to meet queer, some use it to mean questioning. But yeah, basically the LGBTQ community are taking back words that have been used to insult them in the same way as the black community have with the n word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And this thread is a very worthy and interesting one but I feel a little bit sad that things have taken the turn they have.... surely as a victim of domestic abuse you would be happy to have support from any avenue, if that was from a male sufferer too. All victims should stand together and specifically targeting one demographic doesnt and won't solve the causes.
I was a victim of physical and mental abuse and I heartily support your cause Lickety but I would accept support from any quarter and would support someone in the same way.
I've long considered myself a feminist, I support the movement and work to change the attitudes in others but I sometimes think that fragmenting the focus only serves to dilute and alienate support"
Usually things are considered together because everything is linked. Personally my feminism comes second to being a socialist because I've learned how oppression of women, LGBT people, people of colour, etc. Is all linked to capitalism (that's another one for its own thread!)
But for now under the system we're in we have to campaign for small issues so that we're more likely to win and take back power little piece by little piece. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I. Lickety, am not denying violence and abuse against men. I, Lickety, posted a thread about INTERNATIONAL Eliminating Violence Against Women Day.
If it has raised awareness with any of you that's great.
For those who choose to set out why this is wrong, please just look at the first video and check why you consider it is wrong.
Looking at a day about INTERNATIONAL issues from the narrow view of how you see things at a local or national level here, from a heteronormativity, and privileged lens we all take for granted misses the point of what is going on.
I wish you all peaceful, non-violent and happy lives regardless of gender or sexuality - no matter how angry I feel with your viewpoint or how much I know you do it deliberately to derail the original point. Fab has form on this.
Today is Rainbow Laces Day. I'm passionate about that too. International Men's Day is something I also work on, as well as promoting Movember and many other discussions about men's issues. When I see those threads derailed to discuss how issues affect women then I may believe we've reached some level of parity. It won't be in my Fab lifetime.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a new puppy.
*exercising my RIGHT! to post what I want, where I want, even though it's totally irrelevant to the topic.
Signed former recipient of abuse and violence. |
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In fairness to the OP I did post a thread on international men's day and it got limited posts...
I have been guilty of derailing these kind of threads but I won't in the future...each gender deserves someone to stand up the OP is standing up for women on this thread
As a survivour of muitiple domestic abuse relationships it's the people who stood up and shouted from the roof tops standing up for the survivors that got me through the chaos that these relationships bring... |
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I do think more work needs to be done around emotional abuse because I do think that can have a devastating impact on a person..
Also more work with the perps as well however that's a whole different thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw) |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)"
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)"
What is relevant on here? Only things about sex? |
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I think this is the right platform as violence within the swinging community happens...I met a guy through the scene who subjected me to emotional abuse...In order for something to be done the word needs to be spread throughout all communities including the swinging one... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
"
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post |
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By *ockDoctorMan
over a year ago
cheshire and north wales |
I have worked on this exact issue in India recently as part of a wider CSR campaign I'm involved with with 3 of India biggest companies. I can tell you first hand that the drivers for violence against women are very complex and cannot be tackled easily. They are bound in culture, history, poverty, poorceducation, the caste system..whilst it is never right to be violent to women..the charity I work for..Save the Children. Are making some inroads.. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post"
I didn't realise I was being snippy but thanks for letting me know.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have worked on this exact issue in India recently as part of a wider CSR campaign I'm involved with with 3 of India biggest companies. I can tell you first hand that the drivers for violence against women are very complex and cannot be tackled easily. They are bound in culture, history, poverty, poorceducation, the caste system..whilst it is never right to be violent to women..the charity I work for..Save the Children. Are making some inroads.."
Thanks. Undoing thousands of years or historical practice does take time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post"
It was never my intention to derail nor to shift focus from the OP, I think awareness is important and essential in combatting issues and to prevent or preclude continued occurrences.
I also think that stating what we can discuss and how we discuss it is futile and unfortunate. Surely an open discussion on all matters of abuse should come from this? Are we only allowed to talk about physical abuse? Mental? What about emotional? Just as there are various victims as there are types and an open discussion should be the aim not closing the door on victims because it doesn't fit the agenda |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post"
If awareness of the problem is not raised, it'll never get any better.
Surely those with personal experience would welcome efforts to spread awareness and tackle the problems rather than hide it under the carpet so nobody has to face the unpleasantness? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
"
Why on earth wouldn't you want others to care about the subject too? You don't have to have been a victim of domestic abuse to want to help stop it. You don't have to have suffered FGM to want to prevent it happening. You don't have to have had first hand experience of female foeticide and infanticide in India to find it abhorrent. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
People seem to be missing that this is so much more than domestic abuse and the sort of abuse that exists in the UK.
In at least one country girls are murdered at birth because boys are valued and girls are not.
In numerous countries women are beaten, stoned or killed for being raped, and the system means that it's infinitely unlikely that the rapists will be convicted or punished.
In some countries girls/women can be killed for going to school!
This, for those wondering, is why we have a day focusing on violence against women. Men simply do not experience issues such as these.
The statement that on a global scale, (i.e. INTERNATIONALLY), the majority of violence against women is perpetrated by men or on behalf of men, is not an attack on men. It's true.
The statement that on a global scale, the majority of violence against men is perpetrated by men is not an attack on men, it's a fact.
Further men very rarely face violence just for being men, anywhere in the world, whereas around the world violence against women, for being women, is commonplace.
Consider if you had a daughter living in a world in which she could be raped with impunity and be severely punished for it. You'd want the world told about that and for people to stand against it, wouldn't you? You wouldn't want people coming along trying to shout over you about how in the Western world some women abuse men, would you?
Nobody is saying violence against men is ok. What is being said is that violence against women is (mostly) different to violence against men, has different causes and motivations and needs to be tackled separately to issues facing men. |
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"I swear to god some people could start an argument in an empty room.
This thread is to point people in the direction of something close to the op's heart, but its being hijacked by people who just want to p!lay devils advocate, there is nothing stopping anyone starting their own thread, without taking away from this one.
If your mad at feminists = post a thread
If you think lgbtq rights are over looked = post a thread
If you think there should be more help for wealthy white Anglo Saxon men = post a thread
But don't hijack someone else's thread to the point that the original message is lost, think for a minute, and then comment"
god just because you can doesn't mean you should, why is it so hard for you folks to just move to a thread that you can piss all over, why is so hard for you to respect someone wishes and leave their thread for what it is.
RESPECT people RESPECT |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post
It was never my intention to derail nor to shift focus from the OP, I think awareness is important and essential in combatting issues and to prevent or preclude continued occurrences.
I also think that stating what we can discuss and how we discuss it is futile and unfortunate. Surely an open discussion on all matters of abuse should come from this? Are we only allowed to talk about physical abuse? Mental? What about emotional? Just as there are various victims as there are types and an open discussion should be the aim not closing the door on victims because it doesn't fit the agenda"
We can talk about any aspects we want, within site rules. Start a thread on whatever you want to discuss.
However, on a thread about a specific aspects, shouting over the topic about other issues is unhelpful and helps perpetuate the issues being discussed.
Take them to a thread of their own where they can be considered and discussed without confusing and derailing other discussions, or validating the views of people who object to this being discussed at all. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I swear to god some people could start an argument in an empty room.
This thread is to point people in the direction of something close to the op's heart, but its being hijacked by people who just want to p!lay devils advocate, there is nothing stopping anyone starting their own thread, without taking away from this one.
If your mad at feminists = post a thread
If you think lgbtq rights are over looked = post a thread
If you think there should be more help for wealthy white Anglo Saxon men = post a thread
But don't hijack someone else's thread to the point that the original message is lost, think for a minute, and then comment"
*applause* A lot of applause! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post
It was never my intention to derail nor to shift focus from the OP, I think awareness is important and essential in combatting issues and to prevent or preclude continued occurrences.
I also think that stating what we can discuss and how we discuss it is futile and unfortunate. Surely an open discussion on all matters of abuse should come from this? Are we only allowed to talk about physical abuse? Mental? What about emotional? Just as there are various victims as there are types and an open discussion should be the aim not closing the door on victims because it doesn't fit the agenda
We can talk about any aspects we want, within site rules. Start a thread on whatever you want to discuss.
However, on a thread about a specific aspects, shouting over the topic about other issues is unhelpful and helps perpetuate the issues being discussed.
Take them to a thread of their own where they can be considered and discussed without confusing and derailing other discussions, or validating the views of people who object to this being discussed at all."
I agree, perhaps this points out though that there is a discussion to be had which surely is a positive thing in general terms |
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"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)"
I think this is a very good platform to post this; for several reasons:
1. This " swinging community" is just a slice of the rest of society; so will have at least the same number of abused and abusers within it.
2. This site revolves around sex; a large degree of abuse also revolves around sex ( or problems related to it.)
3. Reading many of the forum posts; it is quite clear that a significant number of the male posters (particularly the ones who are here thinking it's " instashag" - but they aren't the only ones) display attitudes which are at least mysoginistic , and many are worse.
4. I personally have come across several situations with " swinging couples" where the female is doing this under duress and it was effectively bullying ( and one where the male was effectively being bullied too). One of the reasons I now avoid couples, unless I know them really well.
to OP for raising it.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
Are the football threads or political threads or news threads wrong for this platform? What are the subjects we are allowed to post about?
no need to get snippy, I just think it always seems that those who get all het up about such an emotive subject have had no direct experience of it, that's all...
and then it turns into a separate agenda and goes off in all directions, thus diluting the intended impact of the post
It was never my intention to derail nor to shift focus from the OP, I think awareness is important and essential in combatting issues and to prevent or preclude continued occurrences.
I also think that stating what we can discuss and how we discuss it is futile and unfortunate. Surely an open discussion on all matters of abuse should come from this? Are we only allowed to talk about physical abuse? Mental? What about emotional? Just as there are various victims as there are types and an open discussion should be the aim not closing the door on victims because it doesn't fit the agenda
We can talk about any aspects we want, within site rules. Start a thread on whatever you want to discuss.
However, on a thread about a specific aspects, shouting over the topic about other issues is unhelpful and helps perpetuate the issues being discussed.
Take them to a thread of their own where they can be considered and discussed without confusing and derailing other discussions, or validating the views of people who object to this being discussed at all.
I agree, perhaps this points out though that there is a discussion to be had which surely is a positive thing in general terms"
So why, in that case, do you think the thread on International Men's Day got just 21 posts and at least one of those was merely a very thinly veiled attack on feminism and nothing to do with the thread?
Why do so many people only want to talk about issues affecting men when someone is trying to discuss issues relating to women?
(Of course this should now be on its own thread too!) |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
I think this is a very good platform to post this; for several reasons:
1. This " swinging community" is just a slice of the rest of society; so will have at least the same number of abused and abusers within it.
2. This site revolves around sex; a large degree of abuse also revolves around sex ( or problems related to it.)
3. Reading many of the forum posts; it is quite clear that a significant number of the male posters (particularly the ones who are here thinking it's " instashag" - but they aren't the only ones) display attitudes which are at least mysoginistic , and many are worse.
4. I personally have come across several situations with " swinging couples" where the female is doing this under duress and it was effectively bullying ( and one where the male was effectively being bullied too). One of the reasons I now avoid couples, unless I know them really well.
to OP for raising it.
"
This is true but the day is much, much bigger than abuse in the UK.
It's about all the other types of violence against women throughout the world that have been mentioned and many more.
There is a huge lack of understanding of these issues and a lot of denial and obstinance when it comes to listening going on so attempts to raise awareness are essential.
For example, I was told last night that FGM is caused by women and is nothing to do with men. Further, even if it is somehow related to men, all it would take to end the practice is for the women to band together and refuse to do it. The underlying implication is that it happens because women do it or because women don't refuse not to do it, so it's the fault of women!
That makes sense to anyone so distant from the issue and so far entrenched in male privilege that they don't understand not everyone has the same options and opportunities as them. When faced with this possibility most refuse to even consider it, never mind actually look into the facts to see if perhaps they're a little off base in their thinking.
It's kinda like saying "all it would take to end domestic abuse is for the abused people to leave their abusers". I hope everyone realises it just isn't as simple as that. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
We can talk about any aspects we want, within site rules. Start a thread on whatever you want to discuss.
However, on a thread about a specific aspects, shouting over the topic about other issues is unhelpful and helps perpetuate the issues being discussed.
Take them to a thread of their own where they can be considered and discussed without confusing and derailing other discussions, or validating the views of people who object to this being discussed at all."
To be fair, the poster who first mentioned men didn't say it was wrong or said he objected to it being discussed, he just mentioned men which then got answered by the OP. He is allowed whether people like a thread to stay exactly as they wanted.
Why all the angst over it I will never know, but if the forum HAS to only talk about the OP at any time and not mention anything else the forum is going to be a very quiet place and the thread will probably just be " I agree "
If it was say a Birthday thread ( for someone on the site ) or an RIP thread thats a bit different, but it is something the OP wanted highlighting. No one can decide how that goes.
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"I was going to post last night about how I felt about this thread but I couldn't find the right words...
every day is a day for something, and its always going to be relevant to someone somewhere...but is it really relevant on here?
as an previous recipient of mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse I use this site as a bit of escapism, so whilst what the OP has posted is relevant to me I don't feel this is the platform on which to post it
(this is only my opinion btw)
I think this is a very good platform to post this; for several reasons:
1. This " swinging community" is just a slice of the rest of society; so will have at least the same number of abused and abusers within it.
2. This site revolves around sex; a large degree of abuse also revolves around sex ( or problems related to it.)
3. Reading many of the forum posts; it is quite clear that a significant number of the male posters (particularly the ones who are here thinking it's " instashag" - but they aren't the only ones) display attitudes which are at least mysoginistic , and many are worse.
4. I personally have come across several situations with " swinging couples" where the female is doing this under duress and it was effectively bullying ( and one where the male was effectively being bullied too). One of the reasons I now avoid couples, unless I know them really well.
to OP for raising it.
This is true but the day is much, much bigger than abuse in the UK.
It's about all the other types of violence against women throughout the world that have been mentioned and many more.
There is a huge lack of understanding of these issues and a lot of denial and obstinance when it comes to listening going on so attempts to raise awareness are essential.
For example, I was told last night that FGM is caused by women and is nothing to do with men. Further, even if it is somehow related to men, all it would take to end the practice is for the women to band together and refuse to do it. The underlying implication is that it happens because women do it or because women don't refuse not to do it, so it's the fault of women!
That makes sense to anyone so distant from the issue and so far entrenched in male privilege that they don't understand not everyone has the same options and opportunities as them. When faced with this possibility most refuse to even consider it, never mind actually look into the facts to see if perhaps they're a little off base in their thinking.
It's kinda like saying "all it would take to end domestic abuse is for the abused people to leave their abusers". I hope everyone realises it just isn't as simple as that."
Yes; I was just commenting on the " why in this forum " post;
Having lived all over the world; I have seen horrific things ( and attitudes) in so called " third world" countries, but if you look closely, they are there in so called " first world" countries too;
Some parts of the US have unbelievable attitudes:
To name just one place.
And you find it anywhere if you look.
To some extent, it's " obvious " in some of the 3rd world ; but it's easy to "pretend we are too civilised for it" in our comfortable 1st world society.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
To be fair, the poster who first mentioned men didn't say it was wrong or said he objected to it being discussed, he just mentioned men which then got answered by the OP. He is allowed whether people like a thread to stay exactly as they wanted.
Why all the angst over it I will never know, but if the forum HAS to only talk about the OP at any time and not mention anything else the forum is going to be a very quiet place and the thread will probably just be " I agree "
If it was say a Birthday thread ( for someone on the site ) or an RIP thread thats a bit different, but it is something the OP wanted highlighting. No one can decide how that goes.
"
.
Ohhh but your wrong, that's not how debates go these days!!.
If you say something somebody doesn't like your a bigoted feminist,chauvinist,misogynistic,racist,xenophobic, anti Semite,islmaphobic, heartless patriarchal wealthy wanker...
I wonder what the acronym for that is |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
We can talk about any aspects we want, within site rules. Start a thread on whatever you want to discuss.
However, on a thread about a specific aspects, shouting over the topic about other issues is unhelpful and helps perpetuate the issues being discussed.
Take them to a thread of their own where they can be considered and discussed without confusing and derailing other discussions, or validating the views of people who object to this being discussed at all.
To be fair, the poster who first mentioned men didn't say it was wrong or said he objected to it being discussed, he just mentioned men which then got answered by the OP. He is allowed whether people like a thread to stay exactly as they wanted.
Why all the angst over it I will never know, but if the forum HAS to only talk about the OP at any time and not mention anything else the forum is going to be a very quiet place and the thread will probably just be " I agree "
If it was say a Birthday thread ( for someone on the site ) or an RIP thread thats a bit different, but it is something the OP wanted highlighting. No one can decide how that goes.
"
"But what about the men" is a common method of trying to derail discussion of women's issues though and it's really not helpful.
Curiously, similar threads on men's issues frequently get almost no interest.
There seems to be an assumption by some that trying to raise awareness of violence against women, (which is usually different in character to violence against men), means violence against men is being dismissed.
That's not the case. The two need to be dealt with separately because (mostly) the nature of them is different, as are the causes.
I've seen posters told to stop dragging threads off topic before. As far as I can see, trying to make a thread about violence against women into violence against men is taking it off topic. It is certainly muting the point and undermining the issue, intentionally in a lot of cases, it appears.
I'd actually love to know if the people shouting about violence and abuse against men on here know when International Men's Day was and what the focus was this year. Also, did they post on the thread on here and if not, why not? And why feel this thread is a more appropriate place?
It genuinely confuses the hell out of me. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I will never understand the desperate, twisting need to take something so undeniably present in the world as violence against women, and try to demean campaigning against it with diversionary, blustering arguments that because men suffer violence too that somehow negates it all.
(I realise that sentence structure is hideous, but God this winds me up.)"
From someone that has been on the receiving end..
S |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I've seen posters told to stop dragging threads off topic before. As far as I can see, trying to make a thread about violence against women into violence against men is taking it off topic. It is certainly muting the point and undermining the issue, intentionally in a lot of cases, it appears.
.
"
If they were going off topic yes, but he was not. He asked a question and then people got told " get orrrf the thread" I think thats what has steered it away more from what the OP wanted to highlight.
If the discussion was allowed to be just that instead of expecting people just to say "yes I agree" then there might have been more people enlightened on the subject which would have got the point across much better
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ"
Thank you for such an intelligent and thoughtful post. We hope the thread does not degenerate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
Thank you for such an intelligent and thoughtful post. We hope the thread does not degenerate."
.
Which video did you find the most informative? |
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"Today is the UN International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day with a call to action for the 16 days until Human Rights Day on 10th December.
I'm not posing a question this year, and really hoping not to have an argument with any of you. Those of you who think of me as a misandrist are a) wrong, b) never going to change your minds and c) You're the ones that ignored International Men's Day.
Just a few things for you to watch and consider:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ"
Excellent thread and thought provoking videos.
I count myself to be incredibly lucky to have been born into country where women have equal rights (though we still have some way to go) and, to have been brought up by supportive parents with a feminist viewpoint.
There are so many women in the world for whom life is completely controlled by men, and too many countries where violence against women is acceptable.
Nita
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"I do think more work needs to be done around emotional abuse because I do think that can have a devastating impact on a person..
Also more work with the perps as well however that's a whole different thread. "
It has already happened. Check my earlier post about re definition of domestic violence e to domestic abuse to include verbal abuse and coercive control... police will take a detailed back ground assessment of anyone involved in domestic abuse in UK |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think more work needs to be done around emotional abuse because I do think that can have a devastating impact on a person..
Also more work with the perps as well however that's a whole different thread.
It has already happened. Check my earlier post about re definition of domestic violence e to domestic abuse to include verbal abuse and coercive control... police will take a detailed back ground assessment of anyone involved in domestic abuse in UK"
Yes coercive control covers all abuse.
There is rarely violence without sexual and emotional abuse too.
But there can be just emotional abuse. |
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you, Lickerty.
Keep up the good work &c.
