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When you want someone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes allways best to be upfront and tell them how you feel .if it was ment to be it will happen.and you will regret it if you dont try ."
but I might lose them all together
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I've had two male best mates tell me they love me. I punched the first one on the face, was a bit easier on the second.
If you get a real inkling there might be something there, go for it. Otherwise, hush your mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But they just want to be "friends" what do you do? Tell them how you really feel?"
If they've already (as your opening post suggests) told you that they just want to be friends then they've made a preemptive strike. She or he clearly sensed where your head was and has moved to cut you off at the pass.
People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.  "
Don't make the situation awkward. They've made it clear. Better chance of you remaining good friends if you leave it as is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.
Don't make the situation awkward. They've made it clear. Better chance of you remaining good friends if you leave it as is "
yes that's good advice thank you |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"But they just want to be "friends" what do you do? Tell them how you really feel?
If they've already (as your opening post suggests) told you that they just want to be friends then they've made a preemptive strike. She or he clearly sensed where your head was and has moved to cut you off at the pass.
People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But they just want to be "friends" what do you do? Tell them how you really feel?
If they've already (as your opening post suggests) told you that they just want to be friends then they've made a preemptive strike. She or he clearly sensed where your head was and has moved to cut you off at the pass.
People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said. "
I'm not suggesting this is true of the OPs situation, so don't take it as approval to change their mind....
Sometimes people say theyre happy to be friends, when the truth is, they've been hurt so many times they're afraid to tell the truth for fear of being hurt again.
Sometimes the fear of hurt is stifling....
Sometimes people lack the strength to take a chance.....
Just my tuppenceworth. Nothing more......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.
I'm not suggesting this is true of the OPs situation, so don't take it as approval to change their mind....
Sometimes people say theyre happy to be friends, when the truth is, they've been hurt so many times they're afraid to tell the truth for fear of being hurt again.
Sometimes the fear of hurt is stifling....
Sometimes people lack the strength to take a chance.....
Just my tuppenceworth. Nothing more......
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.
I'm not suggesting this is true of the OPs situation, so don't take it as approval to change their mind....
Sometimes people say theyre happy to be friends, when the truth is, they've been hurt so many times they're afraid to tell the truth for fear of being hurt again.
Sometimes the fear of hurt is stifling....
Sometimes people lack the strength to take a chance.....
Just my tuppenceworth. Nothing more......
"
Good point fella. Maybe there's a halfway house? A recognition that they've said they want to be friends only, but an indication that if they should feel differently then you do like them enough to be more then just friends, but ultimately their friendship is hugely important so you don't want to do anything to jeopardise what you have.
Don't regret not being true to your heart and never telling them, but don't do it in a way that pushes them away and let them know you value the friendship too much to want to lose them over it?
Gosh it's a toughie. Good luck OP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But they just want to be "friends" what do you do? Tell them how you really feel?
If they've already (as your opening post suggests) told you that they just want to be friends then they've made a preemptive strike. She or he clearly sensed where your head was and has moved to cut you off at the pass.
People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to. "
This |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"I've had two male best mates tell me they love me. I punched the first one on the face, was a bit easier on the second.
If you get a real inkling there might be something there, go for it. Otherwise, hush your mouth"
Extreme some may say but I (he) would rather know even if it ends badly. Being in the 'friends zone' is such a waste of time imho better to be putting the efforts in somewhere else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.
I'm not suggesting this is true of the OPs situation, so don't take it as approval to change their mind....
Sometimes people say theyre happy to be friends, when the truth is, they've been hurt so many times they're afraid to tell the truth for fear of being hurt again.
Sometimes the fear of hurt is stifling....
Sometimes people lack the strength to take a chance.....
Just my tuppenceworth. Nothing more......
Good point fella. Maybe there's a halfway house? A recognition that they've said they want to be friends only, but an indication that if they should feel differently then you do like them enough to be more then just friends, but ultimately their friendship is hugely important so you don't want to do anything to jeopardise what you have.
Don't regret not being true to your heart and never telling them, but don't do it in a way that pushes them away and let them know you value the friendship too much to want to lose them over it?
Gosh it's a toughie. Good luck OP! "
Beautifully said. True and great friends are hard to come by. Sit within the silence and let it be. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I went through this issue back in the late 70's with a work colleague.
Fell hook line and sinker for her, utterly smitten and whilst she had some mutual feelings for me, they were small scale.
Problem was she had a boyfriend too.
I ended up realising I could never ever win her heart and told her so, but said as I was leaving my job, I wouldn't call her or expect her to call me, so I could get her out of my head!
Sounds drsstic........ but it worked. She'd two more boyfriends in that next 12-18 months before we made contact again.
But now 35 years on, we are the best of friends; I was Best Man at her first marriage and she's now my fiercest critic as well as being my best mentor too. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.
I'm not suggesting this is true of the OPs situation, so don't take it as approval to change their mind....
Sometimes people say theyre happy to be friends, when the truth is, they've been hurt so many times they're afraid to tell the truth for fear of being hurt again.
Sometimes the fear of hurt is stifling....
Sometimes people lack the strength to take a chance.....
Just my tuppenceworth. Nothing more......
"
Knew Markoh was a thoughtful softy.... and he is very right too x |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I sent I want to shag you messages to a few people I wouldn't normally message (in most cases because I'm virtually certain I'm not their type). I had a "sod it" moment.
Nobody has left the country yet.
(As far as I know  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to.
This is an interesting point and well said.
I'm not suggesting this is true of the OPs situation, so don't take it as approval to change their mind....
Sometimes people say theyre happy to be friends, when the truth is, they've been hurt so many times they're afraid to tell the truth for fear of being hurt again.
Sometimes the fear of hurt is stifling....
Sometimes people lack the strength to take a chance.....
Just my tuppenceworth. Nothing more......
Knew Markoh was a thoughtful softy.... and he is very right too x"
You're confusing me with someone else..... |
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It's all too easy to say go for it where really people should be saying " you had better weigh up how you will feel when she recoils and all contact fades away ", yes life is short but some people are meant to be just a friend, if it was otherwise you would know deep down that she wants the same as you, seriously think about it before you say anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Up to you OP but if the feeling isn't reciprocated it's very hard to stand on the side line and watch them fall in love with someone else "
It's hard to stand on the side and watch, but if you truly care for them it's the right thing to do.
It's hard, but it's right..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But they just want to be "friends" what do you do? Tell them how you really feel?
If they've already (as your opening post suggests) told you that they just want to be friends then they've made a preemptive strike. She or he clearly sensed where your head was and has moved to cut you off at the pass.
People who want to be friends don't say they just want to be friends unless they feel they have to. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't tell someone I was sexually or romantically interested in that I want to be 'just friends' That is something I would say to someone when I want to spare their feelings, if they then told me they wanted something from me or fancied me it would make me feel uncomfortable and I wouldn't want to speak to them or be around them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for it OP, lifes too short for missed opportunities. Just explain that you don't want it to jeopardise your friendship and good luck I hope it goes well |
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