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Deciding on meets
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
It's probably too early for me to get any sense on this but let's give it a go.
I get messages. The first thing I notice is the avatar. If it's a cock, that's the first black mark. I next look at the profile. I check out if they're a smoker, the height and such, read the blurb and look at the pictures.
This can often tell me I'm not interested.
If they don't match what my profile says I'm after and clearly haven't read it or chose to ignore it, I delete the message without reading it.
Then I read the messages I'm left with, and look at any photos attached.
I delete the nos who don't seem to have read my profile and send a no thanks to those who have but still don't appeal to me.
Some message senders I definitely find attractive and their messages appeal. Clearly they go straight in the bin because if I fancy them and they want to meet me, there's something wrong with them ( ).
That leaves me with the ones who aren't definite nos, but who I'm not sure about. There can be several of these, sometimes too many (I think) to arrange socials with. At that point I am inclined to leave people hanging until the site automatically deletes their messages, because I'm not sure what to do with them. This, I recognise, isn't the best way to handle it.
So, advise me, please, oh great and knowledgeable fab masses. How can I manage this better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" ...
If they don't match what my profile says I'm after and clearly haven't read it or chose to ignore it, I delete the message without reading it.
"
Gosh, that's quite an elimination process you have OP 
Agree with first, not that we've ever found ourselves in the situation of having too many messsges we're unable to cope with and prefer to send a polite no thanks to the unsuitable message senders.
" ...Some message senders I definitely find attractive and their messages appeal. Clearly they go straight in the bin because if I fancy them and they want to meet me, there's something wrong with them
So, advise me, please, oh great and knowledgeable fab masses. How can I manage this better?"
Now this I can totally relate to but in a reverse scenario. Couples that I like the look of yet I think are too attractive for us, so I hesitate in sending a message.
OP I challenge you to reply to those messengers..see where it takes you
Her x |
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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago
coventry..ish |
We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.?? |
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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago
coventry..ish |
We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.??  |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"It's probably too early for me to get any sense on this but let's give it a go.
I get messages. The first thing I notice is the avatar. If it's a cock, that's the first black mark. I next look at the profile. I check out if they're a smoker, the height and such, read the blurb and look at the pictures.
This can often tell me I'm not interested.
If they don't match what my profile says I'm after and clearly haven't read it or chose to ignore it, I delete the message without reading it.
Then I read the messages I'm left with, and look at any photos attached.
I delete the nos who don't seem to have read my profile and send a no thanks to those who have but still don't appeal to me.
Some message senders I definitely find attractive and their messages appeal. Clearly they go straight in the bin because if I fancy them and they want to meet me, there's something wrong with them ( ).
That leaves me with the ones who aren't definite nos, but who I'm not sure about. There can be several of these, sometimes too many (I think) to arrange socials with. At that point I am inclined to leave people hanging until the site automatically deletes their messages, because I'm not sure what to do with them. This, I recognise, isn't the best way to handle it.
So, advise me, please, oh great and knowledgeable fab masses. How can I manage this better?"
Sounds to me op that you have a better handle on it than me it can take me two or three socials before I can decide if I fancy someone .
Wish I was like you and could tell from a message and a few artful pictures whether I fancy someone but sadly I can't .
Everyone's starts off as a maybe with me but sadly very few become a definitely  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How do you have time to say no thanks to everyone?
I don't really understand your question
Stop undervaluing yourself thinking folk are deranged for fancying you
You are beautiful and there's nothing sexier than confidence |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.??"
Some women might, but I don't. I don't see your point anyway, why should what some women do influence what I find attractive? I like what I like. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It's probably too early for me to get any sense on this but let's give it a go.
I get messages. The first thing I notice is the avatar. If it's a cock, that's the first black mark. I next look at the profile. I check out if they're a smoker, the height and such, read the blurb and look at the pictures.
This can often tell me I'm not interested.
If they don't match what my profile says I'm after and clearly haven't read it or chose to ignore it, I delete the message without reading it.
Then I read the messages I'm left with, and look at any photos attached.
I delete the nos who don't seem to have read my profile and send a no thanks to those who have but still don't appeal to me.
Some message senders I definitely find attractive and their messages appeal. Clearly they go straight in the bin because if I fancy them and they want to meet me, there's something wrong with them ( ).
That leaves me with the ones who aren't definite nos, but who I'm not sure about. There can be several of these, sometimes too many (I think) to arrange socials with. At that point I am inclined to leave people hanging until the site automatically deletes their messages, because I'm not sure what to do with them. This, I recognise, isn't the best way to handle it.
So, advise me, please, oh great and knowledgeable fab masses. How can I manage this better?
Sounds to me op that you have a better handle on it than me it can take me two or three socials before I can decide if I fancy someone .
Wish I was like you and could tell from a message and a few artful pictures whether I fancy someone but sadly I can't .
Everyone's starts off as a maybe with me but sadly very few become a definitely "
I can't. That's my point.
I can tell if I *don't* fancy someone that way. Occasionally I do find them physically attractive and worth finding about more about.
That leaves more middle ground than I can manage, I don't instantly think "no" and their profile is good. But I can only meet a few. I never know how to decide. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"How do you have time to say no thanks to everyone?
I don't really understand your question
Stop undervaluing yourself thinking folk are deranged for fancying you
You are beautiful and there's nothing sexier than confidence "
That bit was kind of tongue in cheek.
I arrange socials with those I find attractive.
It's the middle ground that gives me a problem, when it's neither a definite yes or a definite no and I can't have socials with them all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I pretty much do as you have stated OP, but message back the ones that I think tick all my boxes. Within 3 messages most, no all, of them have given me a reason not to even bother with a social. Yes us women may be swamped with messages, but there is a serious shortage of decent, quality men on here that are worth meeting. However dysunctional, socially repulsive idiots seem to be joining the site in droves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work on the principal that anything less that a definite yes is a no.
And get all "Loreal" on yourself while you are about it.
Men aren't fans of insecurity x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you have time to say no thanks to everyone?
I don't really understand your question
Stop undervaluing yourself thinking folk are deranged for fancying you
You are beautiful and there's nothing sexier than confidence
That bit was kind of tongue in cheek.
I arrange socials with those I find attractive.
It's the middle ground that gives me a problem, when it's neither a definite yes or a definite no and I can't have socials with them all."
Why is it tongue in cheek? I was trying to be nice.
No one can make decisions for you
I don't understand what you want
And why would you meet someone you're not attracted to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I pretty much do as you have stated OP, but message back the ones that I think tick all my boxes. Within 3 messages most, no all, of them have given me a reason not to even bother with a social. Yes us women may be swamped with messages, but there is a serious shortage of decent, quality men on here that are worth meeting. However dysunctional, socially repulsive idiots seem to be joining the site in droves.
I fully understand that as I feel the same about a lot of the women on here  there really is a lack of intelligent witty funny sexy women on here who can hold a conversation most seem to think tits and a fanny are all they need to get on in the world   "
Isn't that all we need??? Well I have been grossly misinformed!! |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"How do you have time to say no thanks to everyone?
I don't really understand your question
Stop undervaluing yourself thinking folk are deranged for fancying you
You are beautiful and there's nothing sexier than confidence
That bit was kind of tongue in cheek.
I arrange socials with those I find attractive.
It's the middle ground that gives me a problem, when it's neither a definite yes or a definite no and I can't have socials with them all.
Why is it tongue in cheek? I was trying to be nice.
No one can make decisions for you
I don't understand what you want
And why would you meet someone you're not attracted to? "
I fully understand you can tell who your not attracted to from a profile and a few pictures far easier than you can tell who your attracted to.
its does help that a lot of woman shy away from stating there true sexual make up in there profile ,for those reason I gave up on messaging random woman or couples a long time ago. it was the best thing I ever did because since then I find that if someone messages me based off of my forums posts or profile .we are most likely going to enjoy each others company because like attracts like it .the same with me if I like someone because of there forum posts the odds are they will like me in the flesh to. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I pretty much do as you have stated OP, but message back the ones that I think tick all my boxes. Within 3 messages most, no all, of them have given me a reason not to even bother with a social. Yes us women may be swamped with messages, but there is a serious shortage of decent, quality men on here that are worth meeting. However dysunctional, socially repulsive idiots seem to be joining the site in droves.
I fully understand that as I feel the same about a lot of the women on here there really is a lack of intelligent witty funny sexy women on here who can hold a conversation most seem to think tits and a fanny are all they need to get on in the world
The majority of bi women who have contacted me I've gone on to meet, play or struck up a friendship with, so can't say the same about the genuine bi women in the NW. Only the men. The couples are a mindfield. Too many fakes and issues."
I fully understand that because the majority of woman { lows number } who contact me I've gone on to ether form a regular play friendship with if there local enough to sustain such a arrangement or to have the odd long distance play date with or to become pen pals with for a period of time ,
I find if a woman takes the time and the first step of contacting me the odds are I'm already under her skin and she is going to be of the kind of sexual made up I find hard to resist so the odds are fireworks will follow more often that not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do near enough same process as you OP and try and save msgs of ones that interest me so that I can go back and review them in more depth, to see if potential.
I've requested Club or social meet and so far have only had one with a solo social but sparks flew so will be meeting for fun next time.
Just see ones you like the look of and go for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me... |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I work on the principal that anything less that a definite yes is a no.
And get all "Loreal" on yourself while you are about it.
Men aren't fans of insecurity x"
 the binning the ones I fancy for being deluded was a joke, hence the Of course I message them back!
Anything but a definite yes being a no at the messaging stage seems a bit harsh but you might be right. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me..."
I don't, hence the
I did put the in didn't I? With so many missing the tongue in cheek-ness, perhaps I didn't
I'll have to scroll back and check! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me...
I don't, hence the
I did put the in didn't I? With so many missing the tongue in cheek-ness, perhaps I didn't
I'll have to scroll back and check!"
Oh i may have missed it...It's early
Well the bit about not bothering with those you can't decide on stands. Unless you find yourself at a loose end and fancy a social...you could invite them all |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me...
I don't, hence the
I did put the in didn't I? With so many missing the tongue in cheek-ness, perhaps I didn't
I'll have to scroll back and check!
Oh i may have missed it...It's early
Well the bit about not bothering with those you can't decide on stands. Unless you find yourself at a loose end and fancy a social...you could invite them all "
Maybe I'll try a coin toss or asking my Magic 8 ball for a while and see how that works out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me...
I don't, hence the
I did put the in didn't I? With so many missing the tongue in cheek-ness, perhaps I didn't
I'll have to scroll back and check!"
You did....I get it....but perhaps your vast experience could help me.
I had a meet with a couple last night...good.
I have a tentative arrangement with a lady for tonight (we have met several times and even family members know we are "friends").
I've also had another couple wanting to meet me tonight. So as the title of the thread says...how do I decide?
I could put my friend off....but actually I'm not sure I want to as it will involve food, wine, TV and staying over. But I know she wouldn't mind if I said I had an offer of a meet from fab.....we have both done this to each other before and it's no biggie.
Or do I put the couple off....the meet is likely to involve some outdoor/car play.....and it's gonna be bloody freezing!
Advice? |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I refer you to my previous question. "
Because I don't see how that would actually solve this particular conundrum.
Apart from anything else, few guy in this area have "wow" profiles, which doesn't give me much to go on.
If they message me, and their profile is ok and they send a decent pic, I have something to go on at least.
If I see their profile and it's a "it's not off-putting but not inspiring", I have no message for extra details and no pics, I'll probably not message.
That means I'll be messaging very few guys because most are really lazy about profiles and photos.
And the ones I do message, who get back to me with messages and photos, could still be neither definite yeses or definite nos so I'm still facing the same question.
Who actually does the messaging is not really the important bit. Either way it's likely to lead to cases which aren't definite no/yes decisions. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me...
I don't, hence the
I did put the in didn't I? With so many missing the tongue in cheek-ness, perhaps I didn't
I'll have to scroll back and check!
You did....I get it....but perhaps your vast experience could help me.
I had a meet with a couple last night...good.
I have a tentative arrangement with a lady for tonight (we have met several times and even family members know we are "friends").
I've also had another couple wanting to meet me tonight. So as the title of the thread says...how do I decide?
I could put my friend off....but actually I'm not sure I want to as it will involve food, wine, TV and staying over. But I know she wouldn't mind if I said I had an offer of a meet from fab.....we have both done this to each other before and it's no biggie.
Or do I put the couple off....the meet is likely to involve some outdoor/car play.....and it's gonna be bloody freezing!
Advice?"
Tough call. Go with your gut. |
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I have a similar process and the same problem with maybes. I deleted my inbox by mistake yesterday, and there were 25 maybes in it - people that I could potentially fancy/like to meet if I found them engaging to talk to and ever got round to replying to them ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I refer you to my previous question.
Because I don't see how that would actually solve this particular conundrum.
Apart from anything else, few guy in this area have "wow" profiles, which doesn't give me much to go on.
If they message me, and their profile is ok and they send a decent pic, I have something to go on at least.
If I see their profile and it's a "it's not off-putting but not inspiring", I have no message for extra details and no pics, I'll probably not message.
That means I'll be messaging very few guys because most are really lazy about profiles and photos.
And the ones I do message, who get back to me with messages and photos, could still be neither definite yeses or definite nos so I'm still facing the same question.
Who actually does the messaging is not really the important bit. Either way it's likely to lead to cases which aren't definite no/yes decisions."
I hadn't realised you were so insatiable.... |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I have a similar process and the same problem with maybes. I deleted my inbox by mistake yesterday, and there were 25 maybes in it - people that I could potentially fancy/like to meet if I found them engaging to talk to and ever got round to replying to them ! "
I'm glad to hear it's not just me. I was starting to wonder if it was just one of those weird things about me that nobody else has an issue with! |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.?? "
There are some graphic pics out there and each to their own but if a guy sends a pic of his big boy and his profile is full of the same then how can you make a judgement based on that? |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I refer you to my previous question.
Because I don't see how that would actually solve this particular conundrum.
Apart from anything else, few guy in this area have "wow" profiles, which doesn't give me much to go on.
If they message me, and their profile is ok and they send a decent pic, I have something to go on at least.
If I see their profile and it's a "it's not off-putting but not inspiring", I have no message for extra details and no pics, I'll probably not message.
That means I'll be messaging very few guys because most are really lazy about profiles and photos.
And the ones I do message, who get back to me with messages and photos, could still be neither definite yeses or definite nos so I'm still facing the same question.
Who actually does the messaging is not really the important bit. Either way it's likely to lead to cases which aren't definite no/yes decisions.
I hadn't realised you were so insatiable...."
That is complicated subject and a whole other chat topic! |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.??
There are some graphic pics out there and each to their own but if a guy sends a pic of his big boy and his profile is full of the same then how can you make a judgement based on that? "
That's quite easy, I find.
Cock obsessed, nothing else to go on, *delete* |
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"I only message those that stand out. Have something about them i like. Any middle ground ones i don't bother with. It means i message less people and don't have an exploding inbox. Works for me. I think you are undervaluing yourself by discounting the ones you like the look of. That doesn't make any sense to me...
I don't, hence the
I did put the in didn't I? With so many missing the tongue in cheek-ness, perhaps I didn't
I'll have to scroll back and check!
You did....I get it....but perhaps your vast experience could help me.
I had a meet with a couple last night...good.
I have a tentative arrangement with a lady for tonight (we have met several times and even family members know we are "friends").
I've also had another couple wanting to meet me tonight. So as the title of the thread says...how do I decide?
I could put my friend off....but actually I'm not sure I want to as it will involve food, wine, TV and staying over. But I know she wouldn't mind if I said I had an offer of a meet from fab.....we have both done this to each other before and it's no biggie.
Or do I put the couple off....the meet is likely to involve some outdoor/car play.....and it's gonna be bloody freezing!
Advice?"
Tv and wine and possibly sunday morning sex over a frozen arse and car fumble? Theres no bloody contest really, tell the couple some other time! |
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"We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.??
There are some graphic pics out there and each to their own but if a guy sends a pic of his big boy and his profile is full of the same then how can you make a judgement based on that?
That's quite easy, I find.
Cock obsessed, nothing else to go on, *delete*"
Exactly. And I'm someone who actually wants to see a tasteful cock pic or two on the profile.  |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" Cock obsessed, or tit obsessed... what's the difference?"
To me? Big difference.
It's an individual choice.
Guys can be obsessed with their cocks and I can decline to meet them, (a decision based on previous experience of cock obsessed men).
If guys think I have too many boob pics, (4 out of around 12 or something, I think without checking, and none of them naked), they can choose not to message me/reply to me/meet me. I'm fine with that.
Not that anyone has ever said anything negative about my boob pics, or that I have too many. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"We are on here for a number of different reasons,just go with the flow and let instinct kick in.as for cock pics ,I know it's a prickly subject but ladies put some pretty graphic pics up aswell.Just saying.??
There are some graphic pics out there and each to their own but if a guy sends a pic of his big boy and his profile is full of the same then how can you make a judgement based on that?
That's quite easy, I find.
Cock obsessed, nothing else to go on, *delete*
Exactly. And I'm someone who actually wants to see a tasteful cock pic or two on the profile. "
Sure, one or two decent ones, (not over the toilet or covered in oozing ejaculate, for example), not a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Cock obsessed, or tit obsessed... what's the difference?
To me? Big difference.
It's an individual choice.
Guys can be obsessed with their cocks and I can decline to meet them, (a decision based on previous experience of cock obsessed men).
If guys think I have too many boob pics, (4 out of around 12 or something, I think without checking, and none of them naked), they can choose not to message me/reply to me/meet me. I'm fine with that.
Not that anyone has ever said anything negative about my boob pics, or that I have too many."
No, not to you. But there are many hypocritical women on here. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" Cock obsessed, or tit obsessed... what's the difference?
To me? Big difference.
It's an individual choice.
Guys can be obsessed with their cocks and I can decline to meet them, (a decision based on previous experience of cock obsessed men).
If guys think I have too many boob pics, (4 out of around 12 or something, I think without checking, and none of them naked), they can choose not to message me/reply to me/meet me. I'm fine with that.
Not that anyone has ever said anything negative about my boob pics, or that I have too many.
No, not to you. But there are many hypocritical women on here. "
To each their own. I'm not responsible for what anyone else shows, I can only react to it as I see fit. Same as anyone else really.
From experience, men with a profile full of close up cock pics and no others, tend not to be on a similar wavelength to me and tend to have the wrong idea about why I'm here and what I might be looking for.
If I had only one sort of photo on my profile and it made a guy think I wouldn't be compatible for a meet, I'd consider that fair enough. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I should add, as I'm mostly looking for men at the moment, I don't look at as many women's profiles as men's so I'm less informed on them.
I know what mine says, and those of a few forum using women but that's about it. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I still think you'd be better off doing your own leg work. Cut down on your admin."
Ok, you search and have a look at the general standard of male profiles in this area and see if you can understand then why I don't feel inspired to contact many!
I do still search and message but doing all my own searching actually increases the work. I'll not go into a long winded explanation about why because I doubt you're that interested.
A mix between me searching and being sought seems most successful out of all I've tried so far. However, I've still not got a strategy for the middle ground yet. I've got more ideas now though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still think you'd be better off doing your own leg work. Cut down on your admin.
Same dilemma - nothing really sings out as being worth pursuing, men have such crap profiles on the whole! "
I think they express their personalities perfectly. |
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They say there as to be a spark to start the fire x there are some very nice people on this site it's best to have a social few drinks maybe a meal n see how things go it's best to be nice n polite it don't cost anything to treat people right if u like em go for it happy gabbing xxx have fun have a great day x |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I still think you'd be better off doing your own leg work. Cut down on your admin.
Same dilemma - nothing really sings out as being worth pursuing, men have such crap profiles on the whole! "
Agreed!
I can end up contacting maybes on the basis they may turn out to appeal when I find out more but actually end up dealing with more people overall than if I let them message me. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I still think you'd be better off doing your own leg work. Cut down on your admin.
Same dilemma - nothing really sings out as being worth pursuing, men have such crap profiles on the whole!
I think they express their personalities perfectly. "
Sometimes. Not always, thankfully! |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"They say there as to be a spark to start the fire x there are some very nice people on this site it's best to have a social few drinks maybe a meal n see how things go it's best to be nice n polite it don't cost anything to treat people right if u like em go for it happy gabbing xxx have fun have a great day x"
You're suggesting if I don't have a social with anyone and everyone interested, in case there is mutual interest in person, I'm not being polite and treating people right?
How many socials per week do you think you could realistically manage, out of interest? What would be a reasonable number? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" From experience, men with a profile full of close up cock pics and no others, tend not to be on a similar wavelength to me and tend to have the wrong idea about why I'm here and what I might be looking for.
"
Well said..totally agree
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still think you'd be better off doing your own leg work. Cut down on your admin.
Same dilemma - nothing really sings out as being worth pursuing, men have such crap profiles on the whole! "
When I was looking, I agree totally- so many 'meh' profiles! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They say there as to be a spark to start the fire x there are some very nice people on this site it's best to have a social few drinks maybe a meal n see how things go it's best to be nice n polite it don't cost anything to treat people right if u like em go for it happy gabbing xxx have fun have a great day x
You're suggesting if I don't have a social with anyone and everyone interested, in case there is mutual interest in person, I'm not being polite and treating people right?
How many socials per week do you think you could realistically manage, out of interest? What would be a reasonable number?"
Depends how many people you're interested in |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"They say there as to be a spark to start the fire x there are some very nice people on this site it's best to have a social few drinks maybe a meal n see how things go it's best to be nice n polite it don't cost anything to treat people right if u like em go for it happy gabbing xxx have fun have a great day x
You're suggesting if I don't have a social with anyone and everyone interested, in case there is mutual interest in person, I'm not being polite and treating people right?
How many socials per week do you think you could realistically manage, out of interest? What would be a reasonable number?
Depends how many people you're interested in "
From the sound of what he said, I should give everyone a chance.
I'm wondering how many socials a week he things is realistically achieveable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do pretty much the same as you, OP. My profile clearly states I chat for a while, before even a social is organised, and it works well for me. That stage puts most off after a while (so they've made the decision for me ) or many of them show character traits I don't like along the way. I'm pretty much fair game in clubs lol, but intimate 1 to 1, or 3somes I'm *very* picky who I meet. I know that's not how everyone works, but it's made fab a positive experience for me. Xx |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I don't think he meant that
Otherwise no one would have time to do anything
Would be like speed dating "
Exactly, hence asking what he actually meant and what he thinks is reasonable in terms of socials. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"They say there as to be a spark to start the fire x there are some very nice people on this site it's best to have a social few drinks maybe a meal n see how things go it's best to be nice n polite it don't cost anything to treat people right if u like em go for it happy gabbing xxx have fun have a great day x
You're suggesting if I don't have a social with anyone and everyone interested, in case there is mutual interest in person, I'm not being polite and treating people right?
How many socials per week do you think you could realistically manage, out of interest? What would be a reasonable number?
Depends how many people you're interested in "
I could happy do a social a week after Christmas ever Sunday lunch time accept on pier rope Sunday unless the social wanted to meet me there , if only I was a adonis for every woman hay and I could drum up that much interest |
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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago
north kensington w10 |
Yes i understand your pain all to well! I get i such a pickle sorting through all my Daly messages not knowing who to meet who not to meet the maybe's ect.. I end up deleting them all and i still have no verification's! Oh poo! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's probably too early for me to get any sense on this but let's give it a go.
I get messages. The first thing I notice is the avatar. If it's a cock, that's the first black mark. I next look at the profile. I check out if they're a smoker, the height and such, read the blurb and look at the pictures.
This can often tell me I'm not interested.
If they don't match what my profile says I'm after and clearly haven't read it or chose to ignore it, I delete the message without reading it.
Then I read the messages I'm left with, and look at any photos attached.
I delete the nos who don't seem to have read my profile and send a no thanks to those who have but still don't appeal to me.
Some message senders I definitely find attractive and their messages appeal. Clearly they go straight in the bin because if I fancy them and they want to meet me, there's something wrong with them ( ).
That leaves me with the ones who aren't definite nos, but who I'm not sure about. There can be several of these, sometimes too many (I think) to arrange socials with. At that point I am inclined to leave people hanging until the site automatically deletes their messages, because I'm not sure what to do with them. This, I recognise, isn't the best way to handle it.
So, advise me, please, oh great and knowledgeable fab masses. How can I manage this better?"
Maybe I will create an "Mobile App" for you |
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I have EXACTLY the same problem Dee.
I've even posted about it and just got told the same - do your own searching.
I agree, it's easier to tell from "profile+message" than just "profile" if you'd like to meet someone sometimes.
So blocking all single men and searching yourself isn't an answer.
I want swinging speed dating. It would make a great social event.
I mostly am awful at knowing if I could have chemistry with someone or fancy them.
I've had one social where I thought he was amazing, couldnt wait to play properly - a day or two went by and I just totally changed my mind on him.
Another one I'd seen his profile and thought he was a definite NO. He sent me a beautifully crafted message, and asked for a non strings social. Said he was just looking for friends in the area.
I met him and some of the things he said had me a bit worried tbh!
I wasn't sure at all but he asked for another social, and I had no plans and was bored.
Suddenly out of nowhere it was electric and he became the best fuck buddy I've had in years.
So I never trust my first or even second impressions.
But I've found by taking it slowly and chatting online and meeting a guy a couple of times gives me a chance to decide. And it's a useful filter as the impatient pushy guys (who is never get on with) aren't interested.
So it's a sort of win win.
Beyond that I'm accepting there IS no way of knowing.
It's like picking a present from under the Christmas tree - the fun bit is the excitement in unwrapping them. If you don't like the toy you get, put it down and unwrap another. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I have EXACTLY the same problem Dee.
I've even posted about it and just got told the same - do your own searching.
I agree, it's easier to tell from "profile+message" than just "profile" if you'd like to meet someone sometimes.
So blocking all single men and searching yourself isn't an answer.
I want swinging speed dating. It would make a great social event.
I mostly am awful at knowing if I could have chemistry with someone or fancy them.
I've had one social where I thought he was amazing, couldnt wait to play properly - a day or two went by and I just totally changed my mind on him.
Another one I'd seen his profile and thought he was a definite NO. He sent me a beautifully crafted message, and asked for a non strings social. Said he was just looking for friends in the area.
I met him and some of the things he said had me a bit worried tbh!
I wasn't sure at all but he asked for another social, and I had no plans and was bored.
Suddenly out of nowhere it was electric and he became the best fuck buddy I've had in years.
So I never trust my first or even second impressions.
But I've found by taking it slowly and chatting online and meeting a guy a couple of times gives me a chance to decide. And it's a useful filter as the impatient pushy guys (who is never get on with) aren't interested.
So it's a sort of win win.
Beyond that I'm accepting there IS no way of knowing.
It's like picking a present from under the Christmas tree - the fun bit is the excitement in unwrapping them. If you don't like the toy you get, put it down and unwrap another. "
Great advice, thank you |
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"I have EXACTLY the same problem Dee.
I've even posted about it and just got told the same - do your own searching.
I agree, it's easier to tell from "profile+message" than just "profile" if you'd like to meet someone sometimes.
So blocking all single men and searching yourself isn't an answer.
I want swinging speed dating. It would make a great social event.
I mostly am awful at knowing if I could have chemistry with someone or fancy them.
I've had one social where I thought he was amazing, couldnt wait to play properly - a day or two went by and I just totally changed my mind on him.
Another one I'd seen his profile and thought he was a definite NO. He sent me a beautifully crafted message, and asked for a non strings social. Said he was just looking for friends in the area.
I met him and some of the things he said had me a bit worried tbh!
I wasn't sure at all but he asked for another social, and I had no plans and was bored.
Suddenly out of nowhere it was electric and he became the best fuck buddy I've had in years.
"
I had one like that off a dating site - his pics were nothing special, but his looks didn't put me off, and he was so enthusiastic and persistent in his pursuit I finally agreed to the dinner he insisted one buying me. Half way through that dinner, WHACK, major upside-the-head lust strikes lol! An hour of snogging in the dark followed that dinner....heaven! |
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