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If you ruled the world........

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By *i fem hunters OP Couple over a year ago

london

What would you do......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Make Istanbul Constantinople again.

Outlaw protest and women's suffrage.

Burn the cities so that they may be rebuilt to the standards of Ancient Rome.

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

Definitely execute jedward

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"Make Istanbul Constantinople again.

Outlaw protest and women's suffrage.

Burn the cities so that they may be rebuilt to the standards of Ancient Rome. "

Or this... maybe after

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Free cake....

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

Sing Tony Bennett songs at full volume every day

Hang on, I do that anyway...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5NewYCbpfbw

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Kardashians would be outlawed.

Rivers would be dyed designated colours.

The tree that blocks some of my view to the sea would be cut down.

Guinness would be free.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Make Istanbul Constantinople again.

Outlaw protest and women's suffrage.

Burn the cities so that they may be rebuilt to the standards of Ancient Rome.

Or this... maybe after

No. Veto.

Sorry, it's preposterous

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

Bloody communist

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

Bloody communist

I'm not a communist, it's worse than that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What would you do......"

The world would have serious social and functional problems if I was in charge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd be assassinated within three days.

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

Bloody communist

I'm not a communist, it's worse than that

I hear you Joe, plenty for all. A resource based system to replace the corrupt monetary one would be a fine thing

What the world spends on arms in one day! Could solve global poverty... shocking fact about our species

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"I'd be assassinated within three days."

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be assassinated within three days."

^ this!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

Aren't you a little old to still have hippy fantasies like that?

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir! "

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

Aren't you a little old to still have hippy fantasies like that? "

As opposed to resurrecting the Roman Empire?

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off"

Unless he reinstituted slavery to keep the Deep South happy he might escape

Depends how much of a secret megalomaniac he is

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If I ruled the world everyone would have more than enough and no one would have too much.

Aren't you a little old to still have hippy fantasies like that?

As opposed to resurrecting the Roman Empire?

You're a funny little man. When I'm emperor of the world you can be my court jester.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd be a benevolent dictator. Except when people piss me off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Funny thing about women's suffrage is that, plenty of them signed a petition to end it in a social experiment

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By *rSexyMeMan over a year ago

Burnley

I'd make mayonnaise illegal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off"

It's lasted quite long on here. They will learn one day.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd make Lycra illegal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off

Unless he reinstituted slavery to keep the Deep South happy he might escape

Depends how much of a secret megalomaniac he is

The power would almost certainly drive me insane.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

Scroungers would be given work.

Wars would be fought in a ring by the countries leaders, seconds would be the deputies.

Bullies would be tarred and feathered.

Fridays would be crossdress day, for both sexes.

Prime ministers, presidents would be made to tour their countries.

Poverty strike countries will be forced to look after their citizens before being allowed any defence force.

Poachers when found will be given a head start then hunted themselves.

Anyone convicted of a felony will have to have it on the front and back of their cloathing, instead of going to prison. They will have someone with them when out in public announcing what they are guilty of.

Manners will become part of basic curriculum, taught in schools.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I ruled the world should never be allowed to happen and thankfully it won't

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"I'd be a benevolent dictator. Except when people piss me off. "

With a fine chair to dictate from and a fabulous new bra...

Sigh... would be nice to be dominated in such ways

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Scroungers would be given work.

Wars would be fought in a ring by the countries leaders, seconds would be the deputies.

Bullies would be tarred and feathered.

Fridays would be crossdress day, for both sexes.

Prime ministers, presidents would be made to tour their countries.

Poverty strike countries will be forced to look after their citizens before being allowed any defence force.

Poachers when found will be given a head start then hunted themselves.

Manners will become part of basic curriculum, taught in schools."

Interesting, has a fair bit of populist appeal... Like the bit about people who start wars get to fight them.

I fear that the "eye-for-an-eye" approach to justice might have unforseen consequences tho'...

[PERMISSION DENIED]

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off

It's lasted quite long on here. They will learn one day. "

Shhh!

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Make Istanbul Constantinople again.

Outlaw protest and women's suffrage.

Burn the cities so that they may be rebuilt to the standards of Ancient Rome. "

You'd take the vote from women?

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If I ruled the world should never be allowed to happen and thankfully it won't

Are you actually George W Bush?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dear God...where do I start?

Anyone who has been on Jeremy kyle will be shot and organs harvested.

The Kardashians will be recycled for all the plastic.

Brian Cox will have to find a way of making David Attenborough immortal.

People will be allowed to die of stuff rather than try and make everyone live forever...

And bring back sections of spartan society where babies are checked at birth...only the strong survive..

Blue cheese will be outlawed.

The daily fail will cease to exist.

Prepackaged microwave meals will be outlawed. Cooking taught in school from yr 1 to leaving.

Unemployment for the able bodied abolished. Community work for food tokens compulsory.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd make mayonnaise illegal

I'm with you but other people like it (against all reason) but it's their choice.

[PERMISSION DENIED]

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Definitely execute jedward"

[PERMISSION GRANTED]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Relegate Spurs

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

After the chat last night I think you have it all worked out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Can I help?

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

But I like spreadsheets

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

After the chat last night I think you have it all worked out

I do?

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Can I help?

Yes please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

After the chat last night I think you have it all worked out

I do?

On Europe anyway that's a good start

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By *eesideMan over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

1 fire donold trump and all other parlourmount hed's

2 rejuce tax

3 print mor money so everyone can have a pay rise

4 a fue things just for me and onley for me to no about

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Dear God...where do I start?

Anyone who has been on Jeremy kyle will be shot and organs harvested.

The Kardashians will be recycled for all the plastic.

Brian Cox will have to find a way of making David Attenborough immortal.

People will be allowed to die of stuff rather than try and make everyone live forever...

And bring back sections of spartan society where babies are checked at birth...only the strong survive..

Blue cheese will be outlawed.

The daily fail will cease to exist.

Prepackaged microwave meals will be outlawed. Cooking taught in school from yr 1 to leaving.

Unemployment for the able bodied abolished. Community work for food tokens compulsory."

Liking this. Balanced, humorous and without malice. You can have it all except for the blue cheese.

[PERMISSION GRANTED WITH AN EXCEPTION]

Good work, space cadet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd have a guaranteed daytime meet tomorrow, lol!

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

After the chat last night I think you have it all worked out

I do?

On Europe anyway that's a good start

Oh yeah

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off

Unless he reinstituted slavery to keep the Deep South happy he might escape

Depends how much of a secret megalomaniac he is

The power would almost certainly drive me insane.

More insane?

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd be a benevolent dictator. Except when people piss me off. "

Too subject to bouts of glamour and tyranny.

[PERMISSION DENIED]

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Definitely execute jedward

[PERMISSION GRANTED]

Make one execute the other, surely? Just to see what happens...

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"1 fire donold trump and all other parlourmount hed's

2 rejuce tax

3 print mor money so everyone can have a pay rise

4 a fue things just for me and onley for me to no about

If I'm emperor of the world, my first act will be to get you a phone with autocorrect.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be a benevolent dictator. Except when people piss me off.

Too subject to bouts of glamour and tyranny.

[PERMISSION DENIED]"

Well there's no point being a dictator if you can't have a good hissy fit every once in a while

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

But I like spreadsheets

Please tell me there will be a pivot table involved?

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"1 fire donold trump and all other parlourmount hed's

2 rejuce tax

3 print mor money so everyone can have a pay rise

4 a fue things just for me and onley for me to no about

If I'm emperor of the world, my first act will be to get you a phone with autocorrect.

I will chip in

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Definitely execute jedward

[PERMISSION GRANTED]

Make one execute the other, surely? Just to see what happens..."

And then the survivor is put on a paddle steamer packed with bears and weasels other dangerous mammals and set on fire before being tipped over Niagara Falls.

Any survivors will be shot.

Just putting it out there...

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

But I like spreadsheets

Please tell me there will be a pivot table involved?"

You can pivot on whatever you like if I'm boss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

But I like spreadsheets

Please tell me there will be a pivot table involved?"

Aggghgghhhh no spreadsheets

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off

Unless he reinstituted slavery to keep the Deep South happy he might escape

Depends how much of a secret megalomaniac he is

The power would almost certainly drive me insane.

More insane?"
Pfft, I have no idea what you're trying to say.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

most of you would be executed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Make Istanbul Constantinople again.

Outlaw protest and women's suffrage.

Burn the cities so that they may be rebuilt to the standards of Ancient Rome.

You'd take the vote from women?

Yes. Yes I would.

It's been proven that you ladies are far too altruistic to vote on important decisions like war and immigration. The power of the Empire must not be undone by a female desire to help the less fortunate out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

Till Pauly wades in and takes over

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

But I like spreadsheets

Please tell me there will be a pivot table involved?"

Might be rude not to

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By *rSexyMeMan over a year ago

Burnley

"I'd make mayonnaise illegal

I'm with you but other people like it (against all reason) but it's their choice.

[PERMISSION DENIED]"

These people have just not been shown the error of their ways lol

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

*clicks fingers at IWorkOut*

Guard, seize this pervert and have him flogged in the dungeon until he likes it!

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Make Istanbul Constantinople again.

Outlaw protest and women's suffrage.

Burn the cities so that they may be rebuilt to the standards of Ancient Rome.

You'd take the vote from women?

Yes. Yes I would.

Shit

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By *i fem hunters OP Couple over a year ago

london

Erase all existence of sti's

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

Till Pauly wades in and takes over

Ouch

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

*clicks fingers at IWorkOut*

Guard, seize this pervert and have him flogged in the dungeon until he likes it!

Think of me as the Quality Control.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Erase all existence"

FTFY

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

All men must grow their hair long

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First of all I'd need to create a mega spreadsheet to work out what needs fixing

Would probably need a database.. a by too much info for a spreadsheet I think

But I like spreadsheets

Please tell me there will be a pivot table involved?

Aggghgghhhh no spreadsheets

I'd allow spreadsheets if I ruled the world. But PowerPoint would be banned.

Spitting in public would be also be illegal, and this law would be brutally enforced

And Fight Club would be required reading in schools, as well as Dune by Frank Herbert

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

*clicks fingers at IWorkOut*

Guard, seize this pervert and have him flogged in the dungeon until he likes it!

Think of me as the Quality Control.

I think I may have misjudged this benevolent fellow

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"most of you would be executed

Ah, bless. Don't go around killing people, ok? We've talked about this...?

I'll find a use for you. Somewhere you can usefully channel that aggression.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Soooo.... looks like someone gets to be a dictator... So long as Joe says they can be?

*clicks fingers at IWorkOut*

Guard, seize this pervert and have him flogged in the dungeon until he likes it!

Think of me as the Quality Control.

I think I may have misjudged this benevolent fellow

Just do as he says and no one will get hurt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is no clique etched into people's minds

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"most of you would be executed

Ah, bless. Don't go around killing people, ok? We've talked about this...?

I'll find a use for you. Somewhere you can usefully channel that aggression.

Some kind of Mayhem?

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"There is no clique "

FTFY as they say

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'd allow spreadsheets if I ruled the world. But PowerPoint would be banned.

Spitting in public would be also be illegal, and this law would be brutally enforced

And Fight Club would be required reading in schools, as well as Dune by Frank Herbert

Yes, yes, no, yes, no.

We hope this has answered your query.

Have a nice day.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be a benevolent dictator. Except when people piss me off.

Too subject to bouts of glamour and tyranny.

[PERMISSION DENIED]

Well there's no point being a dictator if you can't have a good hissy fit every once in a while

I'm having visions of Team America now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All men must grow their hair long

No!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get minx to start a new matchmaker thread and appease her followers

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea."

Joe will veto it so don't worry

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea."

Wot about Markoh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be a benevolent dictator. Except when people piss me off.

Too subject to bouts of glamour and tyranny.

[PERMISSION DENIED]

Well there's no point being a dictator if you can't have a good hissy fit every once in a while

I'm having visions of Team America now

Very much like that. But I'm a bit taller.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Get minx to start a new matchmaker thread and appease her followers"

Is it full again?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

I don't want to rule. I'll take Secretary

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea.

Joe will veto it so don't worry

I'm willing to see where this goes, Counsel

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea.

Wot about Markoh?"

He has long blond hair with ribbons if you recall

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't want to rule. I'll take Secretary "

I have plenty of red Sharpies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea.

Wot about Markoh?"

He needs to be made to feel special.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And explain what ftfy means I'm so behind on these terms

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd insist that adam lallana rode me at least twice a week

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Sir would make voting compulsory. I think this is sensible

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People with weird 'non jobs' are to be retrained as navvies or press ganged into service if they cannot adequately describe what it is they actually do all day to a panel of strangers.

Business speak is to be outlawed.

Movies should be edited purely for artistic reasons, and not watered down to get a lower rating for more profit.

Unless an actor can absolutely nail an accent, a local actor should be used (not being racist, but listen to the crap Irish accents in the series 'son's of Anarchy'

Safe places in universities to be abolished with immediate effect. If you cannot handle a differing point of view or set of beliefs from your own, you should be ejected immediately because you aren't mature enough to adult.

Standing firm on blue cheese. It's fucking mouldy..end of.

Kids cartoons should be getting smarter, not dumber..

Suzuki Swifts should have a less ironic name.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"And explain what ftfy means I'm so behind on these terms"

I only just learned - fixed that for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All men must grow their hair long

Terrible idea."

There can be only one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm too indecisive to rule the world. I'll be _iss.honeys assistant. We may be busy at times though

Mrs SnT

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd allow spreadsheets if I ruled the world. But PowerPoint would be banned.

Spitting in public would be also be illegal, and this law would be brutally enforced

And Fight Club would be required reading in schools, as well as Dune by Frank Herbert

Yes, yes, no, yes, no.

We hope this has answered your query.

Have a nice day.

How about banning Christmas?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd insist that adam lallana rode me at least twice a week

I could have this arrranged

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"People with weird 'non jobs' are to be retrained as navvies or press ganged into service if they cannot adequately describe what it is they actually do all day to a panel of strangers.

Business speak is to be outlawed.

Movies should be edited purely for artistic reasons, and not watered down to get a lower rating for more profit.

Unless an actor can absolutely nail an accent, a local actor should be used (not being racist, but listen to the crap Irish accents in the series 'son's of Anarchy'

Standing firm on blue cheese. It's fucking mouldy..end of.

Kids cartoons should be getting smarter, not dumber..

Suzuki Swifts should have a less ironic name.

I like these, you may be allowed to look at the spreadsheet

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Erase all existence of sti's

Interesting.

So no breaks on untrammeled fuckery?

*looks for a downside and can't see one*

[PERMISSION GRANTED]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd allow spreadsheets if I ruled the world. But PowerPoint would be banned.

Spitting in public would be also be illegal, and this law would be brutally enforced

And Fight Club would be required reading in schools, as well as Dune by Frank Herbert

Yes, yes, no, yes, no.

We hope this has answered your query.

Have a nice day.

How about banning Christmas? "

How dare you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suzuki Swifts should have a less ironic name.

Or Speed like bombs to make the name more appropriate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Id just walk round with my head in my hands muttering fuck uptill someone shoots me.

xxx

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"I'm too indecisive to rule the world. I'll be _iss.honeys assistant. We may be busy at times though

Mrs SnT "

We can get boys to our office

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'd allow spreadsheets if I ruled the world. But PowerPoint would be banned.

Spitting in public would be also be illegal, and this law would be brutally enforced

And Fight Club would be required reading in schools, as well as Dune by Frank Herbert

Yes, yes, no, yes, no.

We hope this has answered your query.

Have a nice day.

How about banning Christmas? "

Again, I'm not a fan but people like it.

It would have to be heavily regulated and shorn of the commercial imperative, kept within the month of December with state-sponsored parties for those who haven't got someone to be with or just cba to cook another sodding roast... I don't even know why they go for turkey, chicken's much better...

*wanders off muttering*

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By *iver2015Woman over a year ago

middlesbrough

I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do. "

Ohhh!

You can stay

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

In the same way as Spain has a siesta we should create a fab time of day allocated for stress busting shagnasty fuckery

Productivity of staff... tripled

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely execute jedward"

(Kat) xx

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

As Secretary I want all moths eradicated. Horrible bastards

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

How bigger spiders are we talking about here?

The ones that crawl out of the plughole but are harmless or the ones the size of your fist from a developing country?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

"
after watching I'm a celebrity, I think we'd lose a war on spiders

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

In the same way as Spain has a siesta we should create a fab time of day allocated for stress busting shagnasty fuckery

Productivity of staff... tripled "

I like this!

When though? Pick an hour...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

How bigger spiders are we talking about here?

The ones that crawl out of the plughole but are harmless or the ones the size of your fist from a developing country?"

It's the little ones that usually get you, you can't see those bastards coming

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

How bigger spiders are we talking about here?

The ones that crawl out of the plughole but are harmless or the ones the size of your fist from a developing country?"

Pretty much any spider that is in a video from Australia. If it doesn't fit in a pint glass for rehoming then a flame thrower is the only sensible option.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

Don't want them to fight back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In the same way as Spain has a siesta we should create a fab time of day allocated for stress busting shagnasty fuckery

Productivity of staff... tripled

I like this!

When though? Pick an hour..."

1130-1230 followed by lunch

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

How bigger spiders are we talking about here?

The ones that crawl out of the plughole but are harmless or the ones the size of your fist from a developing country?

It's the little ones that usually get you, you can't see those bastards coming

(I'm quite fond of spiders tbh, so this won't be allowed but it's interesting to see people's hobbies. Can't think of an ecological reason for keeping wasps tho'... What do you think?)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

In the same way as Spain has a siesta we should create a fab time of day allocated for stress busting shagnasty fuckery

Productivity of staff... tripled

I like this!

When though? Pick an hour..."

That's the beauty you choose

got to be flexible with meets and priorities you know

It's a flexible compulsory allocation

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do. "

I'll do whatever I need to to make him think he's still in charge

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

In the same way as Spain has a siesta we should create a fab time of day allocated for stress busting shagnasty fuckery

Productivity of staff... tripled

I like this!

When though? Pick an hour...

1130-1230 followed by lunch"

Good choice.

[PERMISSION GRANTED]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Down with wasps keep spiders the help with the fly issue

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do. "

That just seems like a really bad thing to say

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Can't think of an ecological reason for keeping wasps tho'... What do you think?)"

Someone once said they help the eco system. Was news to me

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

I'll do whatever I need to to make him think he's still in charge

I'm not in charge, no one's *really* in charge... but don't tell the voters

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

That just seems like a really bad thing to say"

May lead to ass kissing

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

I'll do whatever I need to to make him think he's still in charge

I'm not in charge, no one's *really* in charge... but don't tell the voters

Yes boss

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

That just seems like a really bad thing to say"

Maybe she could be a sexy assassin?

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By *kgeminiMan over a year ago

Southampton

I shall have a bottomless vault full of cash so I can swim in it like scrudge McDuck

There will be a twat police. Who will go stop anyone who is being a twat.

Shops will open all day Sunday

Scientists will develop a anti fat bastard injection

Insurance will be at a sensible price

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would make Christmas illegal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd be assassinated within three days.

Almost certainly wearing that Abraham Lincoln hat good sir!

I'd give him a fortnight before the cuteness wore off

Unless he reinstituted slavery to keep the Deep South happy he might escape

Depends how much of a secret megalomaniac he is

Now that's an idea: enslave the south, brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*at the first press conference*

So Mrdpt...now you have supreme control of the world what will be your first official act?

The first annual purge starts in 24 hours

Good luck fuckers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

How bigger spiders are we talking about here?

The ones that crawl out of the plughole but are harmless or the ones the size of your fist from a developing country?

It's the little ones that usually get you, you can't see those bastards coming

(I'm quite fond of spiders tbh, so this won't be allowed but it's interesting to see people's hobbies. Can't think of an ecological reason for keeping wasps tho'... What do you think?)"

They feed the spiders so they don't feast on us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't think of an ecological reason for keeping wasps tho'... What do you think?)

Someone once said they help the eco system. Was news to me

No just rage mixed with fear and evil.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

That just seems like a really bad thing to say

Maybe she could be a sexy assassin?

Well yes, until you get bored.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I shall have a bottomless vault full of cash so I can swim in it like scrudge McDuck

There will be a twat police. Who will go stop anyone who is being a twat.

Shops will open all day Sunday

Scientists will develop a anti fat bastard injection

Insurance will be at a sensible price

No, sorry. Go and sit and think about that and come back and have another go.

[PERMISSION DENIED]

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"*at the first press conference*

So Mrdpt...now you have supreme control of the world what will be your first official act?

The first annual purge starts in 24 hours

Good luck fuckers

[DENIED]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd make clothing "optional"

No one would be allowed to starve or suffer.

Dogs would live as long as we do

All world militaries would disband. All weapons or tools of war would be melted down or scrapped in one massive recycling project and I'd make all nuclear weapons to be launched and co-ordinated to impact simultaneously outside of Earth’s atmosphere at a safe distance. There would be no room for war on my planet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm actually being really nice this time. Last time I got asked this question I started with 'eradicate 75% of the human population'

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Can't believe no one has declared war on wasps and fuck off big spiders yet

How bigger spiders are we talking about here?

The ones that crawl out of the plughole but are harmless or the ones the size of your fist from a developing country?

It's the little ones that usually get you, you can't see those bastards coming

(I'm quite fond of spiders tbh, so this won't be allowed but it's interesting to see people's hobbies. Can't think of an ecological reason for keeping wasps tho'... What do you think?)

They feed the spiders so they don't feast on us

Are spiders and wasps locked in some ancient magic struggle like vampires and werewolves or sommat?!

Woah, dude!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm too indecisive to rule the world. I'll be _iss.honeys assistant. We may be busy at times though

Mrs SnT

We can get boys to our office

I'll help lure them in but I'll let you have them all

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'm actually being really nice this time. Last time I got asked this question I started with 'eradicate 75% of the human population'"

Yes.

The way the question is framed shapes the response.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm actually being really nice this time. Last time I got asked this question I started with 'eradicate 75% of the human population'"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'd make clothing "optional"

No one would be allowed to starve or suffer.

Dogs would live as long as we do

Was gonna say you can come live with me in Glastonbury but it's you and you're already at Stone Henge

But...

Say we got rid of armies, what about robbers, bandits and sundry insurgents who didn't agree?

Convince me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

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By *iver2015Woman over a year ago

middlesbrough

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

That just seems like a really bad thing to say

Maybe she could be a sexy assassin?

Well yes, until you get bored. "

It may be a bad decision but it's my decision and I'm sticking to it.

Bring it on.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Are spiders and wasps locked in some ancient magic struggle like vampires and werewolves or sommat?!

Woah, dude!

You didn't know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What would you do......"

Ban religion

Ban football

Raise the motorway speed limit

Instantly ban people who text while driving.

Remove cake vat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd do whatever job Diamond Joe would want me to do.

That just seems like a really bad thing to say

Maybe she could be a sexy assassin?

Well yes, until you get bored.

It may be a bad decision but it's my decision and I'm sticking to it.

Bring it on.

I applaud your bravery.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx"

BANG

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"I'd make clothing "optional"

No one would be allowed to starve or suffer.

Dogs would live as long as we do

I like your thinking, what an eclectic array of niceties

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd make clothing "optional"

No one would be allowed to starve or suffer.

Dogs would live as long as we do

Was gonna say you can come live with me in Glastonbury but it's you and you're already at Stone Henge

But...

Say we got rid of armies, what about robbers, bandits and sundry insurgents who didn't agree?

Convince me "

Pratchett had the right idea form guilds for the assassins, thieves and such like and change army to the watch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I became world leader I'd immediately commission the top minds of the world to create a true AI.

I would then surrender power to that AI. It would then rule us as benevolent dictator, as in the works of Iain M Banks and his Culture universe, or Neal Asher and the Polity universe.

Or like in the Terminator movies the AI would wipe us humans out.

I'm willing to take the gamble.

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"What would you do......

Ban religion -agree

Ban football -behave

Raise the motorway speed limit- definitely

Instantly ban people who text while driving-yup

Remove cake vat

"
- without a vat you can't mass produce cake

3 out of 5 ain't bad now go rethink a couple of replacements

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Have a naughty party once a month. Not too often that it becomes boring, but long enough apart for the excitement to build

Anything and everything would be provided, so all anyone would need to bring would be themselves and a filthy mind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd make clothing "optional"

No one would be allowed to starve or suffer.

Dogs would live as long as we do

Was gonna say you can come live with me in Glastonbury but it's you and you're already at Stone Henge

But...

Say we got rid of armies, what about robbers, bandits and sundry insurgents who didn't agree?

Convince me "

The police would still control civil law and order under my rule.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx"

Only the good die young sweetie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd insist that adam lallana rode me at least twice a week

I could have this arrranged

Is he on fab then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd insist that adam lallana rode me at least twice a week

I could have this arrranged

Is he on fab then?

Who knows though worth a look make a fantasy reality

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

BANG"

Thank you.

now to rein over hell!

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would make it to a sexual utopia

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By *ndigo40Woman over a year ago

secret town

"What would you do......"

Bring hanging back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

Only the good die young sweetie."

Oh bugger

xxx

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I'd make it compulsory for people who want to sleep when they go to be to be able to fall asleep straight away.

Night

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

BANG

Thank you.

now to rein over hell!

xxx"

That's a harder job

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

BANG

Thank you.

now to rein over hell!

xxx

That's a harder job

Nah, reckon she's cut out for the role!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

BANG

Thank you.

now to rein over hell!

xxx

That's a harder job

Hell is where the parties at. There will be rock music. Sex. Drugs n booze. Oh n ozzy!

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What would you do......

Ban religion -agree

Ban football -behave

Raise the motorway speed limit- definitely

Instantly ban people who text while driving-yup

Remove cake vat

- without a vat you can't mass produce cake

3 out of 5 ain't bad now go rethink a couple of replacements

The cake thing wasn't properly thought through, granted.

I stick by the football ban. Causes too many arguments. Wastes too much time and way too much money.

And grown men. Wearing football shirts.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

BANG

Thank you.

now to rein over hell!

xxx

That's a harder job

Hell is where the parties at. There will be rock music. Sex. Drugs n booze. Oh n ozzy!

Xxx"

I'm coming with you

Take me down sister

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How the fuck am I still alive.

xxx

BANG

Thank you.

now to rein over hell!

xxx

That's a harder job

Nah, reckon she's cut out for the role!

You can be my man slave. I often wish I was bodicea.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewbyABCWoman over a year ago

Nottingham and Peterborough

In the same way as Spain has a siesta we should create a fab time of day allocated for stress busting shagnasty fuckery

Productivity of staff... tripled "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"What would you do......

Ban religion -agree

Ban football -behave

Raise the motorway speed limit- definitely

Instantly ban people who text while driving-yup

Remove cake vat

- without a vat you can't mass produce cake

3 out of 5 ain't bad now go rethink a couple of replacements

The cake thing wasn't properly thought through, granted.

I stick by the football ban. Causes too many arguments. Wastes too much time and way too much money.

And grown men. Wearing football shirts.

Again, while I agree that football is an abomination (and a far too noisy one at that) I'm afraid lots of people like it.

You can head a panel on reforming football, if you like but otherwise

[APPEAL DENIED]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Food and essentials (gas/electricity etc) to have a maximum profit margin of 2% for the companies with 100% visibility on costs.

Health and safety to be limited to common sense.

Farmville games to fuck right off.

Minimum age limit for tablets/I pads..

The bitch slapping of people who used text speak maliciously.

Dragon fruit. Honestly..it's shit.

Hipsters can fuck off too.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

If I ruled the world no-one would go without, everyone would get what they need if not necessarily quite what they wanted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The one who gets the last word should rule the world!

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"The one who gets the last word should rule the world!"

Cheeky.

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