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Gripes...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
Be happy they dip their heads for you. My gripe is the ones who extol their cunnilingus skills on their profile then state they 'don't do that' when you meet. And expect a BJ! |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
I'm saying nothing, but its not hours & hours either
x
H |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now.
Be happy they dip their heads for you. My gripe is the ones who extol their cunnilingus skills on their profile then state they 'don't do that' when you meet. And expect a BJ!"
This actually happens!?
Oh, man... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now.
I'm saying nothing, but its not hours & hours either
x
H"
That's because you're considerate lovers, obvs! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine are people who finger bash me expecting me to squirt like I'm some sort of performing pussy. Only happened twice but fuck that. Incredibly sore after!"
I hate the finger blasters... Also the guys who squeeze your nipples really, really hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My gripe is when you go down and you hear a stopwatch start.
Is that off putting!? I guess I should put away the klaxon then, too!? "
No. that's okay. I've got my earplugs in now to stop me hearing your insistent whining.  |
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If someone miss-sells themselves as a great lover and then cums in 5 mins, then I'd be pissed off.
If they said they weren't quite sure what they were doing, I'd provide some helpful advice and guidance.
Depends on what you put in, really.
 |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
"
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing? |
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"I hate it when a woman has had multiple orgasms before I get to blow my load and then I have to lick my own mess. Happens so often to me  "
This does happen.
I'm like, *please* can you wait a little longer, lady?!
Eff eff ess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella."
oink oink 
No gripes instantly spring to mind for me... I'm sure I'll agree with someone else's point once it's been made apparent though |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
And stop finger blasting at the same time! "
Ah yes! And when they try a sneak a thumb in your bum and think you won't notice. |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing? "
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
|
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella."
Or any man generally behaving like a pig. I've noticed some men are rather reluctant to deliver any pleasure until they've received more than their fair share of it from you.
Remember, all those stories of licking for hours, they're only with you for your pleasure etc are probably just that, some tale, fantasy etc they hope you buy into. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate it when a woman has had multiple orgasms before I get to blow my load and then I have to lick my own mess. Happens so often to me
This does happen.
I'm like, *please* can you wait a little longer, lady?!
Eff eff ess. "
Exactly - bloody nightmare - a quivering wreck screaming the place down |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
"
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Or any man generally behaving like a pig. I've noticed some men are rather reluctant to deliver any pleasure until they've received more than their fair share of it from you.
Remember, all those stories of licking for hours, they're only with you for your pleasure etc are probably just that, some tale, fantasy etc they hope you buy into. "
I don't want to be licked for hours. I'm not a book of bloody stamps. |
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"I hate it when a woman has had multiple orgasms before I get to blow my load and then I have to lick my own mess. Happens so often to me
This does happen.
I'm like, *please* can you wait a little longer, lady?!
Eff eff ess.
Exactly - bloody nightmare - a quivering wreck screaming the place down "
It's a particular variant of the woman on top position that I must remember to save for last.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My gripe is when you go down and you hear a stopwatch start.
Is that off putting!? I guess I should put away the klaxon then, too!?
No. that's okay. I've got my earplugs in now to stop me hearing your insistent whining. "
But how're you meant to hear me when I'm trying to tell you that's my arse and not my clitoris!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
These are so funny and most of the women are right. Hate it when someone boast about Hw long they cn go Hw much their into pleasuring a woman and then u gt to it and....
Is tat it  |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better "
They don;t have to be innocent - fit, handsome and dumb is juuuust fiiiine.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
And stop finger blasting at the same time! "
I'd never heard of finger blasting until I frequented these forums. Thankfully it's not something I've ever felt a need to do. Might break something |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better
They don;t have to be innocent - fit, handsome and dumb is juuuust fiiiine.
"
Can we have a line up? Select the best one? |
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"My gripe is when you go down and you hear a stopwatch start.
Is that off putting!? I guess I should put away the klaxon then, too!?
No. that's okay. I've got my earplugs in now to stop me hearing your insistent whining.
But how're you meant to hear me when I'm trying to tell you that's my arse and not my clitoris!? "
Oh 'tongue punch the fart box'  |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better
They don;t have to be innocent - fit, handsome and dumb is juuuust fiiiine.
Can we have a line up? Select the best one?"
Oh yeah.
[APPLY WITHIN] |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My gripe is when you go down and you hear a stopwatch start.
Is that off putting!? I guess I should put away the klaxon then, too!?
No. that's okay. I've got my earplugs in now to stop me hearing your insistent whining.
But how're you meant to hear me when I'm trying to tell you that's my arse and not my clitoris!?
Oh 'tongue punch the fart box' "
Waaaaah! I just spat my drink out! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
And stop finger blasting at the same time!
I'd never heard of finger blasting until I frequented these forums. Thankfully it's not something I've ever felt a need to do. Might break something "
That's because you obviously know what you're doing! |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better
They don;t have to be innocent - fit, handsome and dumb is juuuust fiiiine.
Can we have a line up? Select the best one?
Oh yeah.
[APPLY WITHIN]"
Yes |
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"My gripe is when you go down and you hear a stopwatch start.
Is that off putting!? I guess I should put away the klaxon then, too!?
No. that's okay. I've got my earplugs in now to stop me hearing your insistent whining.
But how're you meant to hear me when I'm trying to tell you that's my arse and not my clitoris!?
Oh 'tongue punch the fart box'
Waaaaah! I just spat my drink out! "
|
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better
They don;t have to be innocent - fit, handsome and dumb is juuuust fiiiine.
Can we have a line up? Select the best one?
Oh yeah.
[APPLY WITHIN]
Yes "
I can run up a shortlist but we'll need you as bait, I suspect
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My gripe is when you go down and you hear a stopwatch start.
Is that off putting!? I guess I should put away the klaxon then, too!?
No. that's okay. I've got my earplugs in now to stop me hearing your insistent whining.
But how're you meant to hear me when I'm trying to tell you that's my arse and not my clitoris!? "
I know it's your arse. |
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"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
I suspect the problem there might be the use of language.
Instead of "Stop it now", try moaning "Ooh yes, that's it, right there, keep going".
#Mars/Venus
{shrugs}
Mr ddc |
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Am I the only one who can't cum when a guy goes down on me because I'm worrying if their mouth is aching, maybe they need a break, and can they breathe? Am I making the right encouraging noises?
And it distracts me from enjoying it and I can't cum.
The only guy I ever came reliably with I really didn't give a single fuck about, he'd treated me like shit in the past but could always make me cum as I just didn't care one iota about him.
Everyone else, from my husband to a mere Fab meet - I'm too concerned about them.
It's a tad annoying. |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
We've had this conversation before.
Not my thing but let's find/ruin a third.
Simple.
Are we going to tag team some innocent young thing? Oh good. My week just got better
They don;t have to be innocent - fit, handsome and dumb is juuuust fiiiine.
Can we have a line up? Select the best one?
Oh yeah.
[APPLY WITHIN]
Yes
I can run up a shortlist but we'll need you as bait, I suspect
"
Works for me  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit"
Or that they can't ask for what they want, or redirect things if they aren't enjoying something.
Mind you, I did fall asleep during a previous partner giving me iral once. That probably wasn't the best way to tell him it wasn't exciting me!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit"
This was actually a tongue-in-cheek thread. However, quite a few guys I've been with tend to only do oral for a few minutes and then want to get down to the more penetrative stuff.
I'm sorry that you couldn't see the funny side... |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-cheek thread. However, quite a few guys I've been with tend to only do oral for a few minutes and then want to get down to the more penetrative stuff.
I'm sorry that you couldn't see the funny side..."
Easy solution, tie him up and sit on his face until satisfied. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now.
I suspect the problem there might be the use of language.
Instead of "Stop it now", try moaning "Ooh yes, that's it, right there, keep going".
#Mars/Venus
{shrugs}
Mr ddc"
You know that I don't actually say "stop it now", right!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
Oh I expect this now anything else is a bonus  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-cheek thread. However, quite a few guys I've been with tend to only do oral for a few minutes and then want to get down to the more penetrative stuff.
I'm sorry that you couldn't see the funny side...
Easy solution, tie him up and sit on his face until satisfied."
I've never been a face sitter... too worried about smothering them to death! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-my cheeks thread....
.."
Where do you want my tongue again? I've got 3 mins left. |
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"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-cheek thread. However, quite a few guys I've been with tend to only do oral for a few minutes and then want to get down to the more penetrative stuff.
I'm sorry that you couldn't see the funny side..."
Tongue in arse cheek |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Am I the only one who can't cum when a guy goes down on me because I'm worrying if their mouth is aching, maybe they need a break, and can they breathe? Am I making the right encouraging noises?
And it distracts me from enjoying it and I can't cum.
The only guy I ever came reliably with I really didn't give a single fuck about, he'd treated me like shit in the past but could always make me cum as I just didn't care one iota about him.
Everyone else, from my husband to a mere Fab meet - I'm too concerned about them.
It's a tad annoying."
I've started being a little more selfish and direct in bed now. I totally get what you mean though, I've been like this with past boyfriends. More worried about them than myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-my cheeks thread....
..
Where do you want my tongue again? I've got 3 mins left. "
Do you even have to ask!? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-(arse) cheek thread. However, quite a few guys I've been with tend to only do oral for a few minutes and then want to get down to the more penetrative stuff.
I'm sorry that you couldn't see the funny side...
Tongue in arse cheek "
Oh I missed a good'ne there!
I have rectified the situation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tourists, especially older tourists...do they have to stop dead in the middle of a busy alley?
Hello! Be aware of your environment! "
And at the bottom of escalators to fiddle with their suitcases! Grrrrr! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Women moaning about men being shit shags, when if it keeps happening its their selection process thats shit
This was actually a tongue-in-my cheeks thread....
..
Where do you want my tongue again? I've got 3 mins left.
Do you even have to ask!? "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tourists, especially older tourists...do they have to stop dead in the middle of a busy alley?
Hello! Be aware of your environment!
And at the bottom of escalators to fiddle with their suitcases! Grrrrr! "
Stop at the entrance/exit to a shop...omg I could go on all day! |
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"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now.
I suspect the problem there might be the use of language.
Instead of "Stop it now", try moaning "Ooh yes, that's it, right there, keep going".
#Mars/Venus
{shrugs}
Mr ddc
You know that I don't actually say "stop it now", right!? "
You know that was a "tongue-in-cheek" response, right?
(touché? ) |
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"Am I the only one who can't cum when a guy goes down on me because I'm worrying if their mouth is aching, maybe they need a break, and can they breathe? Am I making the right encouraging noises?
And it distracts me from enjoying it and I can't cum.
The only guy I ever came reliably with I really didn't give a single fuck about, he'd treated me like shit in the past but could always make me cum as I just didn't care one iota about him.
Everyone else, from my husband to a mere Fab meet - I'm too concerned about them.
It's a tad annoying."
im sure if someone cant breath they will let you know and i dont have a clue about right noises
Why not just enjoy yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing? "
**ahem** |
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Don't say what you don;t want - tell them what you do.
It's much easier.
I want to ruin you with my strap on.
That kinda thing?
**ahem** "
Oh hello |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
Preferably longer down there. My preference though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now.
Be happy they dip their heads for you. My gripe is the ones who extol their cunnilingus skills on their profile then state they 'don't do that' when you meet. And expect a BJ!"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone miss-sells themselves as a great lover and then cums in 5 mins, then I'd be pissed off.
If they said they weren't quite sure what they were doing, I'd provide some helpful advice and guidance.
Depends on what you put in, really.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now.
I suspect the problem there might be the use of language.
Instead of "Stop it now", try moaning "Ooh yes, that's it, right there, keep going".
#Mars/Venus
{shrugs}
Mr ddc
You know that I don't actually say "stop it now", right!?
You know that was a "tongue-in-cheek" response, right?
(touché? )"
Communication is key |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
5 mins! That's 4 longer than I would! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
Show offs. I'll still have time left to make a cuppa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
Or any man generally behaving like a pig. I've noticed some men are rather reluctant to deliver any pleasure until they've received more than their fair share of it from you.
Remember, all those stories of licking for hours, they're only with you for your pleasure etc are probably just that, some tale, fantasy etc they hope you buy into.
I don't want to be licked for hours. I'm not a book of bloody stamps."
Hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
And stop finger blasting at the same time!
I'd never heard of finger blasting until I frequented these forums. Thankfully it's not something I've ever felt a need to do. Might break something "
It is frustrating how common it is on the swinging scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
And stop finger blasting at the same time!
I'd never heard of finger blasting until I frequented these forums. Thankfully it's not something I've ever felt a need to do. Might break something
It is frustrating how common it is on the swinging scene. "
More porn fuelled nonsense? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Men that give oral like a pig hunting for truffles.
Get the fuck outta there fella.
And stop finger blasting at the same time!
I'd never heard of finger blasting until I frequented these forums. Thankfully it's not something I've ever felt a need to do. Might break something
It is frustrating how common it is on the swinging scene.
More porn fuelled nonsense?"
Most definitely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My main one is men who make out they're really into pleasuring a woman, then proceed to go down on you for 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES, expecting you to cum.
Stop it, now. "
Its a fine Art and some just don't have what it take . |
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