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Barred from your local social
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do you think to this.
I went to my local social for the very first time back in 2015, as a single guy,this was completely new to me and wasn't expecting to know anyone. When I arrived I went to the bar and bought a pint,I turned around and there was a couple who I recognised from work. I chatted with them for 5 mind and that was that, then I saw a guy I worked with. I chatted with him asking what he was doing here at this type of event and hint understand saying his mate who runs the actual social had invited him and he didn't know it was a singers social.... anyway I didn't believe him but left him alone as I don't judge,it's upto him what he does. Then I saw a woman who I had worked with and was again surprised to see her there but each to there own. Not knowing anyone else and I used to get on well with this woman at work,I ended up chatting with her all night and then went home. She never gave me any sign she was unhappy with me taking up her time
When the next social came along,I was told I wasn't aloud to go as some couples where not happy with me on the last social.
The reason I gather was the man from work,I know is married and he was there to see the woman I was talking to. I unknowingly had spoilt his night, I didn't know he was with her and for godsake I ain't bothered what he does even though he's married,that's his choice. Anyway because this guy is married and I know him,his mate who runs the social won't let me go still.
Sorry about such a long story,but I thought you should get the full thing to understand . |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"What do you think to this.
I went to my local social for the very first time back in 2015, as a single guy,this was completely new to me and wasn't expecting to know anyone. When I arrived I went to the bar and bought a pint,I turned around and there was a couple who I recognised from work. I chatted with them for 5 mind and that was that, then I saw a guy I worked with. I chatted with him asking what he was doing here at this type of event and hint understand saying his mate who runs the actual social had invited him and he didn't know it was a singers social.... anyway I didn't believe him but left him alone as I don't judge,it's upto him what he does. Then I saw a woman who I had worked with and was again surprised to see her there but each to there own. Not knowing anyone else and I used to get on well with this woman at work,I ended up chatting with her all night and then went home. She never gave me any sign she was unhappy with me taking up her time
When the next social came along,I was told I wasn't aloud to go as some couples where not happy with me on the last social.
The reason I gather was the man from work,I know is married and he was there to see the woman I was talking to. I unknowingly had spoilt his night, I didn't know he was with her and for godsake I ain't bothered what he does even though he's married,that's his choice. Anyway because this guy is married and I know him,his mate who runs the social won't let me go still.
Sorry about such a long story,but I thought you should get the full thing to understand ."
There are other socials get your name down for one of them  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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right, so they said some couples didn't want you there and you blame the single man? you make 0 sense.
i reckon the couple were not comfortable enough to let go and enjoy the social while you were there, because you know them.
unfortunately, for you. some people value females more than others when it comes to the swinging scene, so the hierarchy is single fems, couples, men.
make sure you can get at more women to turn up then the couple has and you would've been alright.
i'm not 'prizing' women at my social btw, they aren't making any demands of me. it's a social and if people don't know how to socialise without getting arsey then tough tits to them and they shouldn't come. oh well, it sucks being a man OP, sorry to hear you were banned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Green Arrow tells us this happened over a year ago.
It's eating you up OP. Let it go  "
His first sentence told us it happened over a year ago
But good detective work none the less  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He was a workmate and if your an organiser you shouldn't be banning people cos his cheating mate might get found out by his wife. Don't cheat if your frightened of getting caught
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He was a workmate and if your an organiser you shouldn't be banning people cos his cheating mate might get found out by his wife. Don't cheat if your frightened of getting caught
"
While it;s crap for you, the organiser is looking after his mate. You are nothing to him and he owes you nothing.
If your side of the story os the complete truth then I do sympathise but you can't change anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The "I don't judge" comment makes me think you may have given the impression you do at the first social.
Like everyone's saying; move on. That social group don't want you there. There are plenty of other swingers around. |
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It does not matter if you are right or wrong, it changes the outcome not one bit.
Therefore don't waste time being concerned with stuff you have no ability to change.
Just do something else with other people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I will say to you what one member on here commented, it's a social not a private meet for him,her or couples. If you are afraid of who you are or what you do,Don't go to socials. It's an open affair. |
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"I will say to you what one member on here commented, it's a social not a private meet for him,her or couples. If you are afraid of who you are or what you do,Don't go to socials. It's an open affair."
Are you hoping he reads this or just feel like telling us a million times?  |
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"I will say to you what one member on here commented, it's a social not a private meet for him,her or couples. If you are afraid of who you are or what you do,Don't go to socials. It's an open affair."
You seem to be obsessing. Is this perhaps why you have been asked not to attend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will say to you what one member on here commented, it's a social not a private meet for him,her or couples. If you are afraid of who you are or what you do,Don't go to socials. It's an open affair."
Seeing as you knew three people from work I guess they may know each other in the same way.
Are they banned too? If not then perhaps that's not why you're banned. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It is a suggestion, I will ask you a question what is a social. Is it a private affair,where one doesn't want to disclose who or what they are. Or is it something that is open to those who want to attend as they have nothing to hide. I'm proud of who I am. |
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"It is a suggestion, I will ask you a question what is a social. Is it a private affair,where one doesn't want to disclose who or what they are. Or is it something that is open to those who want to attend as they have nothing to hide. I'm proud of who I am."
Who are you taking to?
It could sound as if you are trying to convince yourself. |
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It's not an open affair. A social is a meet up of people for social rather than sexual interaction.
Who attends can be decided by whoever is organising it.
What good can come of demanding to go? It's not going to be much fun for you or them?
Drop it and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This paragraph confirms why they were right to ban you.
"As one member on here said it's a social,not a private meet. If he wants to see his bit on the side do it private. Wake up."
I don't condone cheating at all but the way you're describing what went on shows that you couldn't be trusted to keep it to yourself.
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why."
In the same scenario, would you not have found another pub to drink in a year later? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Socials ain't that social anyway, it's normally a clique of people getting together to gossip and not play, far better things to be doing, like playing, move on, get to a club xx |
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"Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why."
Yes, for a few minutes, then realised I could do fuck all about it and gone down the road to the next pub.
But, your obsessive behaviour suggests you were possibly not that great at the meet you went to and whilst you cannot see it, others were less happy.
Who knows? Not you, therefore just forget it. And stop, please stop, with the repetitive nonsense. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Not knowing anyone else and I used to get on well with this woman at work,I ended up chatting with her all night"
The point of a social is to meet people. How did you expect to meet anyone if you monopolised the company of one woman all night?
I've been to socials as a single woman and have had single men follow me round limpet like after I've made an effort to speak to them because they look uncomfortable. That makes it uncomfortable for me. There are a couple of people on here who would deter me from attending a social if they were going, because of this.
No social event organiser wants women to be put off from attending and will usually choose to exclude a single man to avoid this.
We have only your side of the story, which may not be completely accurate. If it is, it sucks but you are partially responsible for not trying to mix. I can't believe the woman in question didn't excuse herself to get a drink or something. Did she return to talk to you or did you track her down again? I'm not entirely convinced you weren't partly responsible for what happened.
That a social is not a private meet is irrelevant, you made someone feel uncomfortable and, the organiser having no duty towards you, has decided to exclude you. It sucks but it's their right. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"What do you think to this.
I went to my local social for the very first time back in 2015, as a single guy,this was completely new to me and wasn't expecting to know anyone. When I arrived I went to the bar and bought a pint,I turned around and there was a couple who I recognised from work. I chatted with them for 5 mind and that was that, then I saw a guy I worked with. I chatted with him asking what he was doing here at this type of event and hint understand saying his mate who runs the actual social had invited him and he didn't know it was a singers social.... anyway I didn't believe him but left him alone as I don't judge,it's upto him what he does. Then I saw a woman who I had worked with and was again surprised to see her there but each to there own. Not knowing anyone else and I used to get on well with this woman at work,I ended up chatting with her all night and then went home. She never gave me any sign she was unhappy with me taking up her time
When the next social came along,I was told I wasn't aloud to go as some couples where not happy with me on the last social.
The reason I gather was the man from work,I know is married and he was there to see the woman I was talking to. I unknowingly had spoilt his night, I didn't know he was with her and for godsake I ain't bothered what he does even though he's married,that's his choice. Anyway because this guy is married and I know him,his mate who runs the social won't let me go still.
Sorry about such a long story,but I thought you should get the full thing to understand ."
Basically it was a works social |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why.
Yes, for a few minutes, then realised I could do fuck all about it and gone down the road to the next pub.
But, your obsessive behaviour suggests you were possibly not that great at the meet you went to and whilst you cannot see it, others were less happy.
Who knows? Not you, therefore just forget it. And stop, please stop, with the repetitive nonsense."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social. |
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It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack. |
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"It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack."
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack."
Me too. Men who keep pouncing on you and trying to monopolise you at a social are a pain in the rear.
Most people feel like they shouldn't be rude but when you excuse yourself numerous times only to have them hunt you down and latch on again, it gets very wearing. |
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"It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack.
Me too. Men who keep pouncing on you and trying to monopolise you at a social are a pain in the rear.
Most people feel like they shouldn't be rude but when you excuse yourself numerous times only to have them hunt you down and latch on again, it gets very wearing."
I attended socials as a single guy before I met Miss. I always liked saying a hello to people, chatting for a little bit and then moving on and talk to lots of different people. I was lucky I guess cos I always ended up 'connecting' with some people and had fun after the social. Would never dream of just chatting to one person all night. Surely they would want to mingle too but didnt want to be rude. |
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"It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack.
Me too. Men who keep pouncing on you and trying to monopolise you at a social are a pain in the rear.
Most people feel like they shouldn't be rude but when you excuse yourself numerous times only to have them hunt you down and latch on again, it gets very wearing."
I have a feeling many don't get the whole social thing and expect it to end in meetings of a sexual nature........ |
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"It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack.
Me too. Men who keep pouncing on you and trying to monopolise you at a social are a pain in the rear.
Most people feel like they shouldn't be rude but when you excuse yourself numerous times only to have them hunt you down and latch on again, it gets very wearing.
I have a feeling many don't get the whole social thing and expect it to end in meetings of a sexual nature........"
Very true. Same as some at clubs. Just go with the intention to have a good night and meet new people and anything else is a bonus. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It seems your behaviour has annoyed people and held them back from what they were hoping would be a fun and enjoyable evening. We attend socials and if someone I knew came over and started asking inane questions then tried to hog our time all night I'd be annoyed too. Well actually I'd tell them to go and mingle and make some new friends which is the whole point of a social. Jack.
Me too. Men who keep pouncing on you and trying to monopolise you at a social are a pain in the rear.
Most people feel like they shouldn't be rude but when you excuse yourself numerous times only to have them hunt you down and latch on again, it gets very wearing.
I have a feeling many don't get the whole social thing and expect it to end in meetings of a sexual nature........"
Some also won't try to introduce themselves to others and join in. I guess it's a lack of confidence. They tend to affix themselves to the first woman that will speak to them.
It's nerve-wracking to go to a social alone as a single person, when you don't know anyone, but most people, I suspect, will feel uncomfortable with someone following them round all night like this.
A social is not a private meet, so why would anyone think it's ok to act like it's a chat with one person? The idea is to mix. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Green Arrow tells us this happened over a year ago.
It's eating you up OP. Let it go "
I thought this was damned familiar..I thought it might have been a recycled story at first but ah ha!
op..let it go man |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
At the last social I went to, I made a point of speaking to the single guys who looked a bit isolated, lost of nervous, and tried to get them involved in talking to others. I also offered to verify them, (I have veris in return from a few).
Some were appreciative of this and used it as a means of relaxing and getting started, some clung on like they were drowning and some completely misunderstood my intentions.
I met a few really nice people though and I hope I helped them feel more comfortable and enjoy themselves more. |
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"Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why."
You're not wanted. It's not rocket science. No wonder they don't want you there. Like a bloody dog with a bone  |
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"At the last social I went to, I made a point of speaking to the single guys who looked a bit isolated, lost of nervous, and tried to get them involved in talking to others. I also offered to verify them, (I have veris in return from a few).
Some were appreciative of this and used it as a means of relaxing and getting started, some clung on like they were drowning and some completely misunderstood my intentions.
I met a few really nice people though and I hope I helped them feel more comfortable and enjoy themselves more."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why."
Your analogy is flawed as in that scenario no one has posses off the regulars |
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This song is from the film 'Frozen'
*sings*
....."
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation,
and it looks like I'm the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in;
Heaven knows I've tried
Don't let them in,
don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel,
don't let them know
Well now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway...,,," |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Let me explain,if you and your partner went to your local pub. Walked in bought two drinks,supped up and left and the next time you went in and he/she said your barred what would you think. Would you not wonder why.
Your analogy is flawed as in that scenario no one has posses off the regulars"
And also, they drink up and leave, rather than staying and talking at one person, who probably wishes to socialise with others, all night.
It's a pretty poor analogy all round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social."
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social.
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too. "
It is perhaps a good thing the OP isn't about at the moment. He didn't take that suggestion very well!
I agree though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social.
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too.
It is perhaps a good thing the OP isn't about at the moment. He didn't take that suggestion very well!
I agree though."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social.
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too.
It is perhaps a good thing the OP isn't about at the moment. He didn't take that suggestion very well!
I agree though."
Dee, may I just say I get on with people very well and will talk to anyone. I am far from a loner exactly the opposite. The swinging scene is full of very clicky people and don't greet new people with open arms and at the York social they are very much clicky. If I was experienced at this game I would welcome a newcomer big style. Not at this social it's a closed shop xx |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social.
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too.
It is perhaps a good thing the OP isn't about at the moment. He didn't take that suggestion very well!
I agree though.Dee, may I just say I get on with people very well and will talk to anyone. I am far from a loner exactly the opposite. The swinging scene is full of very clicky people and don't greet new people with open arms and at the York social they are very much clicky. If I was experienced at this game I would welcome a newcomer big style. Not at this social it's a closed shop xx"
You said because you didn't know anybody else at the event, you talked to one woman all night!
That's not talking to anyone and attempting to mingle.
You clearly made people feel uncomfortable. Try another social and try not to do the same thing. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Oohh I enjoyed this thread last night. Take it you havent realised you have requoted the last post with ... erm nothing?
I got barred for 24 hours prick "
*sigh* Some people don't learn. |
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"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social.
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too.
It is perhaps a good thing the OP isn't about at the moment. He didn't take that suggestion very well!
I agree though.Dee, may I just say I get on with people very well and will talk to anyone. I am far from a loner exactly the opposite. The swinging scene is full of very clicky people and don't greet new people with open arms and at the York social they are very much clicky. If I was experienced at this game I would welcome a newcomer big style. Not at this social it's a closed shop xx"
We have attended for years as always found everybody very welcomeing |
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"Oohh I enjoyed this thread last night. Take it you havent realised you have requoted the last post with ... erm nothing?I got barred for 24 hours prick "
Erm you requoted 11 minutes ago with nothing.
And with regards to the York social, I attended it a few years ago when I was a single guy on here. I had a great time, met and chatted to loads of new people and had a very, very enjoyable end to the night. Maybe its because I went with the right attitude? Just saying.
Yours truly,
Prick aka Jack |
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"Its never happened to me, but if I recognised someone whilst attending a swinging event, i would never approach them or indeed ever mention it.
It's obvious your going up to these people and identifying yourself etc has put them on edge. Because of that they don't want you at further socials. Maybe they feel you lack discretion.
There is no point you trying to argue the point. They said no. Go to another social.
It sounds like a lack of discretion issue to me too.
It is perhaps a good thing the OP isn't about at the moment. He didn't take that suggestion very well!
I agree though.Dee, may I just say I get on with people very well and will talk to anyone. I am far from a loner exactly the opposite. The swinging scene is full of very clicky people and don't greet new people with open arms and at the York social they are very much clicky. If I was experienced at this game I would welcome a newcomer big style. Not at this social it's a closed shop xx"
Once again proving discretion is not your forte.....  |
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"Oohh I enjoyed this thread last night. Take it you havent realised you have requoted the last post with ... erm nothing?I got barred for 24 hours prick
Was it not long enough for you?????"
He enjoyed it that much he's decided to have some more time away from here. |
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"The green arrow provides enlightenment... "
I'm wondering if he enjoys public humiliation....after this thread he has asked to be added to their Christmas party list
We really need a facepalm emoji |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im sure there was another thread a few months ago where there was an explanation about all of this from the other POV not just the OP, though I can't find it now.
OP let it go, its in the past, stop trying to bring up things that you are not going to change |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Oohh I enjoyed this thread last night. Take it you havent realised you have requoted the last post with ... erm nothing?I got barred for 24 hours prick "
Wait ..the mist in my Crystal ball is clearing.... What's this I see....Yep...I can see another time out coming ..  |
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"Oohh I enjoyed this thread last night. Take it you havent realised you have requoted the last post with ... erm nothing?I got barred for 24 hours prick
Wait ..the mist in my Crystal ball is clearing.... What's this I see....Yep...I can see another time out coming .. "
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