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Ex partners and Christmas
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I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think its a really sweet gesture, as you have parental responsibility for your children i dont think it would be odd at all.
Your ex will appreciate it and it shows no bad feelings that she has now moved on |
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We split in 2012 & still buy each other gifts from the kids. It's important for them to see that we can still be amicable & at the end of the day he's their dad - he loves them & they love him. There will come a point when they ask for money to go buy the gifts themselves or even buy with their own money!! I still buy for my ex-inlaws too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
"
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Oldest is 13 and youngest is nearly 2. I have asked the older ones and they are all keen to go out and buy a gift for there mum.
Just don't want her or her new partner to feel out of place as they would know it was me who paid for it.
Judging by early posts though it seems it should be ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
"
Why don't you ask her ?
She obviously knows that the gift was from you and not really the kids as such?
So ask her what she thinks ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
Why don't you ask her ?
She obviously knows that the gift was from you and not really the kids as such?
So ask her what she thinks ?
"
It won't be from him though, he's just bankrolling it. They can choose the gift and wrap it up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
"
Yep I'm in the same situation. I don't like my ex and she's with another bloke, but I'll still get her something from the kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
Why don't you ask her ?
She obviously knows that the gift was from you and not really the kids as such?
So ask her what she thinks ?
It won't be from him though, he's just bankrolling it. They can choose the gift and wrap it up. "
If that's the case I'd say do as youve always done for the children until they tell you otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I split with my kids dad 4 years ago and he's had a new partner for 3, I always get him something from the kids for Christmas, birthday and father's day. There's nothing personal there from me, I see it as they're our kids, so it isn't her responsibility to get something from them. I even invited him round for Christmas, I feel nothing for him anymore but I want him to spend as much time with our kids as possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would be inclined to agree with the majority and say buy it as normal.
Its from your kids to their mum and you'll always have that connection.
If it makes you feel less awkward, give the money to your oldest but take all the kids shopping together to chose instead of you.
Or just speak to the new man and explain the situation.
If he's decent, he'll understand x |
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By *adyDangerWoman
over a year ago
land of debauchery and kink |
"Oldest is 13 and youngest is nearly 2. I have asked the older ones and they are all keen to go out and buy a gift for there mum.
Just don't want her or her new partner to feel out of place as they would know it was me who paid for it.
Judging by early posts though it seems it should be ok."
I would buy the gift as normal and let your kids choose. Your being a good dad high 5 to you  |
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"Oldest is 13 and youngest is nearly 2. I have asked the older ones and they are all keen to go out and buy a gift for there mum.
Just don't want her or her new partner to feel out of place as they would know it was me who paid for it.
Judging by early posts though it seems it should be ok.
I would buy the gift as normal and let your kids choose. Your being a good dad high 5 to you "
Thanks |
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"I split with my kids dad 4 years ago and he's had a new partner for 3, I always get him something from the kids for Christmas, birthday and father's day. There's nothing personal there from me, I see it as they're our kids, so it isn't her responsibility to get something from them. I even invited him round for Christmas, I feel nothing for him anymore but I want him to spend as much time with our kids as possible. "
Well said  |
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"I need help badly here. Me and ex partner have 5 kids and I have always bought her a present from the kids for Christmas. She now has a new partner and this will be first Christmas apart.
So do I buy her a gift from the kids or is that a bit creepy as she has a new partner now.
Anyone in same situation what do you do?.
"
Get her one joint gift from all the kids then your not in the dammed if you do or dammed if you don't scenario. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
Personally IMHO
Yes the present giving is important to your children.
I do believe that you will know when it's time to stop or indeed not.
Five children together, you are both still locked into a complete lifetime of seeing / hearing each other even though you are no longer together, so hopefully the little things will help the transition for you both..
(ps Merry Christmas everyone!) |
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