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If your pets could talk
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By *ooking for bbwsCouple
over a year ago
secret garden chilling, always something to do in the garden |
"What would they say to you ?
My dog would be saying "Where's my dinner? !"
It's a common theme of his  "
my cat, I need a cuddle, leave me alone I'm asleep, makes a grunt, or I want my foooooood... sometimes in a loud mmmmeeeeoooowwww mrs |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
my cat does not make noise.. she stares and has telepathic ability.
she communicates with me, from the'what the hell, is that?' type, to,
'oh no, its not him again (about my other cat), to
'it's time for bed, now..err yes it is!' type messages, all of which i totally obey..of course ..cos have you seen her stare, its serious, you dont mess with that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Patterdales are really vocal. The bitch especially. If she could speak in a language I understand I bet she would be very needy and demanding. The dog is only interested in his tummy and the potential food available. The only word he'd need is 'more' |
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My cats: Gimme food, gimme food now!, gimme even more space on the sofa/bed, let me in/let me out/let me in/let me out (ad infinitum), gimme a stroke, gimme a cuddle, tell me how beautiful I am (ad infinitum), what do you mean, you don't like ripped up pigeon all over the hall?, you can fuck off with that worming pill or I'll bite your fingers ..... |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Our Akita.
"Where's dad? Where's dad? Where's dad? Yeah, yeah I'm glad your back now fuck off out the way! Where's dad? Where's dad?" etc.etc. or when cooking or dishing up dinner
"Will you fuck off dog?"
"But I like sausages/pie/spag bol, chicken,fish etc.."
"& I only got this dried shit! You wankers!"
S
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My fish would have said 'help!' - it was swimming around perfectly well earlier but died suddenly  "
Same happened to one of our lizards the other day 
Later the same day 2 more hatched  |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Our Akita.
"Where's dad? Where's dad? Where's dad? Yeah, yeah I'm glad your back now fuck off out the way! Where's dad? Where's dad?" etc.etc. or when cooking or dishing up dinner
"Will you fuck off dog?"
"But I like sausages/pie/spag bol, chicken,fish etc.."
"& I only got this dried shit! You wankers!"
S
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My cat only goes out to go to the loo and calls to come in. If I make her wait, when I do open the door she does a noise for which there is no onomatopoeia but you know she's saying "took ya time, ya cunt  |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"My cat only goes out to go to the loo and calls to come in. If I make her wait, when I do open the door she does a noise for which there is no onomatopoeia but you know she's saying "took ya time, ya cunt "
Took the dog out late nearly dark round the fields, off the lead off he goes, now he usually foes a long two fielder, anyway O lost him in the dark, walks the two fields on my own on the pissing rain.
Gets back towards home and he's sitting under the patio table with a look that says
"You do know it's raining you daft cunt? I only wanted a poo, fuck staying out here"
S |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
My cat certainly recognises words used to her routinely. "you coming?" "box(litter tray) is done" "come and see!" and she responds vocally to "aaooowt" and "night" |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"My cat only goes out to go to the loo and calls to come in. If I make her wait, when I do open the door she does a noise for which there is no onomatopoeia but you know she's saying "took ya time, ya cunt
Took the dog out late nearly dark round the fields, off the lead off he goes, now he usually foes a long two fielder, anyway O lost him in the dark, walks the two fields on my own on the pissing rain.
Gets back towards home and he's sitting under the patio table with a look that says
"You do know it's raining you daft cunt? I only wanted a poo, fuck staying out here"
S"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My cat wouldn't need to talk, he makes a mournful face which says "feed me, do you want me to starve? I was abandoned as a kitten, you're giving me flashbacks".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have kids so my beautiful dog is my baby. Tonight I reckon she'd be saying "come on mum, I know you're sad, let's cuddle up on the sofa and eat shit"
Furry friends are definitely therapy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My cats would say I like you and that's why we aren't going to kill you in your sleep, but instead we'll sit on top of the wardrobe so we can watch you sleep |
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The guinea pigs always say 'feed us again mum'. I see it on their faces and hear it in their wheekings!
My female rabbit would say 'get out of my way bitch' then she maybe wouldn't need to head-butt me and bite my ankles. Male bun would be with the pigs asking for more food. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If my pets could talk, they would swear all the time having been sworn at (in an affectionate way) their entire lives. One dog thinks he has a whole list of names as well as his real one, from 'fat arse' to 'umpalumpa'! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My cats would tell me I spend too much of my day perving gorgeous women on this site and wanking!
and wanking...
and wanking...
and more wanking...
ad infinitum... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My cats would say I like you and that's why we aren't going to kill you in your sleep, but instead we'll sit on top of the wardrobe so we can watch you sleep"
Pervy cats you have!
Actually, I might like to join them on that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would they say to you ?
My dog would be saying "Where's my dinner? !"
It's a common theme of his "
3 dogs 3 cats 6 horses 3 sheep all very spoilt . Would say what ever I need I get. lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My dog would say "oh good you're back you've been ages I was lonely all by myself I thought you'd left forever I'm so happy you're back I'm gonna run backwards and forwards like an idiot and maybe do a little wee wee" when I've been 5 minutes putting the bins out!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My cat only goes out to go to the loo and calls to come in. If I make her wait, when I do open the door she does a noise for which there is no onomatopoeia but you know she's saying "took ya time, ya cunt
Took the dog out late nearly dark round the fields, off the lead off he goes, now he usually foes a long two fielder, anyway O lost him in the dark, walks the two fields on my own on the pissing rain.
Gets back towards home and he's sitting under the patio table with a look that says
"You do know it's raining you daft cunt? I only wanted a poo, fuck staying out here"
S"
Funny how they can demean us without saying a word 
...and yes, very therapeutic furry little buggers |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
This thread is brilliant..
My lab would be saying..
'o please can we stay out just a bit longer'
'I't wasn't me' (looking up with guilty eyes after going into the bin)
'catch me if you can'
'no it's mine' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My cats would be telling me to piss off trying to hug them and to put some clothes on.
Mr Susan would be telling me to kick Michael out of the house for they night as she hates him. |
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My parrot would say ha you think that silly little catch will stop me getting out your wrong. I'm going to bite the dogs ears..
Both dogs would be saying the others pitched their food and please keep that blasted parrot locked up it keeps biting our ears..
And finally the rabbit would be saying if any of them twats come near me I'm going to kick the shit out of them.
Yes I live in a blasted zoo  |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"If the cat could talk....he,d either be blackmailing me or demanding therapy
Something like that lol he's seen too much "
Ours would also say
"If you do that in the same room again i'm gonna lick your foot at an inopportune moment again! at least shut me in the kitchen next time i'm only four ffs!"
S |
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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago
Gosport |
One of my cats is busy telling me how good a hunter it is because it has 'caught' a toy mouse. The other is probably trying to point out how rude it would be for its hot water bottle to get up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretty sure our dog would say
"You seriously expect me to go out in that to pee?!"
"Shove over you gits middle of the beds MINE"
"This spot right here the only bit of sun coming through the window is ALL mine"
Or
"Touch me, touch me, touch me"
He's a bigger princess than me, if it's windy or wet he hates going out, if we're cuddled up he tries his hardest to get in the middle of us, and he constantly wants a fuss and loves nothing more than sun bathing.
Mrs Dirty |
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