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FWB how it works.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love the idea of an FWB. We are people, not sex objects. Some might think otherwise on here, and that works for them I know.
But a friend with benefits meaning a 'fucking sexy friend' whom I also want to constantly have sex with, would be a great set up.
But, how do you find one?
Do you find a hot as fuck match in the hope that you get on?
Or
Do you find somebody you get on with first, somebody you know you've got things in common with, inthe hope that you'll want to eventually jump in the sack together?
Do you have a FWB, and how did you get to this arrangement?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a FWB, but chose him because we both get on with him. Great personality, great shag  . You can fuck anyone on here, but if they are a complete t**t or you dont like the looks of them, then surely unless you want to bag them and gag them there's no point. Unless that's your thing?? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a FWB, but chose him because we both get on with him. Great personality, great shag . You can fuck anyone on here, but if they are a complete t**t or you dont like the looks of them, then surely unless you want to bag them and gag them there's no point. Unless that's your thing?? Lol"
When your getting on, is there a risk of freind zoning them first?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you choose a FWB, I think it's just a natural progression with certain people you meet
At the end of the day all meets are potential one offs, even if you get in really well with them in here that does not mean you will like them enough to meet them again in real life
It's not anything I have ever planned, every guy I have met who has become a regular meet it has just happened naturally because we get on but FWB relationships can end just as quick as they start |
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"I don't think you choose a FWB, I think it's just a natural progression with certain people you meet
At the end of the day all meets are potential one offs, even if you get in really well with them in here that does not mean you will like them enough to meet them again in real life
It's not anything I have ever planned, every guy I have met who has become a regular meet it has just happened naturally because we get on but FWB relationships can end just as quick as they start "
That's true....esp if they can't get over their ex wife from 30 years ago and then she appears again on the scene  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a FWB, but chose him because we both get on with him. Great personality, great shag . You can fuck anyone on here, but if they are a complete t**t or you dont like the looks of them, then surely unless you want to bag them and gag them there's no point. Unless that's your thing?? Lol"
And here I was thinking I was gonna be your FWB  |
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We met on pof...sexually hit it off right away and have been meeting for about 18mths. Our friendship has grown, our sex together is fantastic and fun. We share details of our lives. I consider him as a friend.  |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
It's something we would like,As Naughty says I don't think you can look for it but more be honest and just say its something you'd like to find, doesn't mean the first person you meet is the one, they might just want the onetime thing, which is fine, some do. It'll be something that evolves if both parties want it too. Saying you want one will put some off it might make others engage with you though.
Bit different for us as a couple maybe as we have found Mr&Mrs right, we just want to find Miss/Mrs complete wrongun for shenanigans & giggles.
x
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ots something that just happens.
Either you just meet first time for sex and then you realise you both get on well enough to be friends (and both not looking for something permanent). Or you just start off as flirty friends, keeping it as friends, then end up having sex occasionally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My FWB was my first ever meet, we just connected straight away. He's awesome. We've had plenty of misunderstandings and squabbles along the way. It's a form of relationship, you have to work at it to make it work. It's about finding someone who makes you tick and is on the same wavelength as you, it's hard to do, I haven't been able to find a second FWB. You need to set boundaries at the start. XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really like the term fwb... I do currently have a lover away from the site. We were lovers some five years ago, we've recently gotten back in touch and things just naturally went that way. We're very close friends regardless of the sex. |
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Boundaries are good...we have never set boundaries. Every now and again we have a jealous moment some silliness a little aground then move on. Our fwb relationship is evolving. I have a commitment problem, and he has a wild side that does not fit with a vanilla relationship. |
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Yes some people you just have an incredible connection with the moment you start talking, others you just find that you get on when you meet and are both keen to keep meeting. ... sadly the only way know is to keep kissing frogs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me . |
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"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me ."
Depends on your point of view... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer my fwbs to not be too friendly. I'm ok for chats etc, but I only spend time with them in bed. My life doesn't have space for anything more, at the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me ."
I had no intimacy during my marriage. If I had started seeing someone else it would have been more because I needed that than the sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think you choose a FWB, I think it's just a natural progression with certain people you meet
At the end of the day all meets are potential one offs, even if you get in really well with them in here that does not mean you will like them enough to meet them again in real life
It's not anything I have ever planned, every guy I have met who has become a regular meet it has just happened naturally because we get on but FWB relationships can end just as quick as they start "
So true!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I woul'd love to find a fwb
a nice witty fun guy to meet have a laugh with and have lots of hot kinky fun every now and then
i'm not going to hold my breath in finding one though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I woul'd love to find a fwb
a nice witty fun guy to meet have a laugh with and have lots of hot kinky fun every now and then
i'm not going to hold my breath in finding one though"
If you weren't so far away, I'd volunteer for the post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I woul'd love to find a fwb
a nice witty fun guy to meet have a laugh with and have lots of hot kinky fun every now and then
i'm not going to hold my breath in finding one though
If you weren't so far away, I'd volunteer for the post "
there's that distance bummer again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding a FWB is like finding a needle in a haystack I want a bed buddy I hate sleeping on my own lol
isn't it just lol"
Maybe I need to see if I can find a contract up there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me ."
We agree. To us there is a big difference between a FWB and someone to regularly cheat with and have an affair.
Which one is being looked for here? |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me ."
What if what you want isn't "more" but "different" we love what you guys do, but we couldn't do it, so we'll work with what we can do
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding a FWB is like finding a needle in a haystack I want a bed buddy I hate sleeping on my own lol
isn't it just lol
Maybe I need to see if I can find a contract up there "
i like your thinking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We did have a regularFWB, she was Amanda's long time GF befor we met and we all became friends with regular stop overs. Lasted about 6 years and then she went her own way. Great times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most peeps on here seem to be describing a regular fuck rather than what we would consider an Feb though.."
That's what I prefer. Although, with some, we spend time chilling in their homes or a hotel. It's not turn up, fuck and go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me .
What if what you want isn't "more" but "different" we love what you guys do, but we couldn't do it, so we'll work with what we can do
S"
I don't know what the difference would be regarding more or different with respect to the fwb thing . More sex or different sex is still sex , and doesn't have to encroach on the emotional side of ones relationship . It's the wanting more than sex (of any description ) that baffles me . Unless you're both into polyamory , which is never the case when one partner is cheating . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, sex is better with people I have a connection with. I find 'one offs' a bit disappointing. I prefer to meet on a regular-ish basis and to get to know the other person.
I had a lovely fwb a few years back. We spent weekends away together and kept in touch regularly.
More recently I have had a couple of fwb and enjoyed getting to know them. Sometimes the relationship reaches a natural conclusion, sometimes you stay friends but the benefits are social rather than sexual. I am glad I have known every one of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are both open to finding a FWB or even one each
But then have both dabbeled in polyamory too
That's a big word for this time on a Friday morning  "
Its a food word too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, sex is better with people I have a connection with. I find 'one offs' a bit disappointing. I prefer to meet on a regular-ish basis and to get to know the other person.
I had a lovely fwb a few years back. We spent weekends away together and kept in touch regularly.
More recently I have had a couple of fwb and enjoyed getting to know them. Sometimes the relationship reaches a natural conclusion, sometimes you stay friends but the benefits are social rather than sexual. I am glad I have known every one of them. "
This is probably a really daft question, sorry. But if fwb go out for drinks etc together, how do you deal with people assuming you're dating? Surely you can't tell people you're just fwb as they won't understand or might look down on people 'just having sex'...? |
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"For me, sex is better with people I have a connection with. I find 'one offs' a bit disappointing. I prefer to meet on a regular-ish basis and to get to know the other person.
I had a lovely fwb a few years back. We spent weekends away together and kept in touch regularly.
More recently I have had a couple of fwb and enjoyed getting to know them. Sometimes the relationship reaches a natural conclusion, sometimes you stay friends but the benefits are social rather than sexual. I am glad I have known every one of them.
This is probably a really daft question, sorry. But if fwb go out for drinks etc together, how do you deal with people assuming you're dating? Surely you can't tell people you're just fwb as they won't understand or might look down on people 'just having sex'...? "
Why do you have to tell them anything?? I usually let people assume what they like and introduce someone as 'my friend' if need be. With people I know very well I might say 'This is one of my toyboys' haha!
But that's one reason I prefer someone nearer my age for fwb, I would never go out with a young man, too toe curling! |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Most peeps on here seem to be describing a regular fuck rather than what we would consider an Feb though..
That's what I prefer. Although, with some, we spend time chilling in their homes or a hotel. It's not turn up, fuck and go. "
Get that part, for us with limited time we'd like to try and combine everything you'd do with a friend & sleep with them, dinner, movie nights the whole thing. Not going to be every five mins though so who they are is more important than where they are..that's just us though, everyone is different, has different wants, different circumstances, none are wrong..
x
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What other people think has never been an issue. I have been referred to as 'your wife' a few times and had the 'your husband' comments but it is a forgiveable misunderstanding. Never bothered me, or them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think you choose a FWB, I think it's just a natural progression with certain people you meet
At the end of the day all meets are potential one offs, even if you get in really well with them in here that does not mean you will like them enough to meet them again in real life
It's not anything I have ever planned, every guy I have met who has become a regular meet it has just happened naturally because we get on but FWB relationships can end just as quick as they start "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me ."
Depends on how you view sex though doesn't it? To me it's more than just fuck & go, it's an opportunity to have a shared experience, to experiment, play out desires that are enhanced when meeting more than once.
I'm lucky enough to have made some great connections on here but logistically meeting more than a few times a year isn't feasible.
My ideal is to meet someone on a regular irregular basis if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me .
Depends on how you view sex though doesn't it? To me it's more than just fuck & go, it's an opportunity to have a shared experience, to experiment, play out desires that are enhanced when meeting more than once.
I'm lucky enough to have made some great connections on here but logistically meeting more than a few times a year isn't feasible.
My ideal is to meet someone on a regular irregular basis if that makes sense."
Yes. A friend is somebody I see regularly. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"This is something we've never understood . Obviously we are happily married and swing together as it gives us a bit of extra when it comes to the sexual side of our relationship . But with regard to everything else , friendship , care , love , and so on , we have that with each other . So why would we seek it with anyone else ?
So back to the op and his situation . It's clearly not just the sex that's missing in his relationship . So he looks for more , and that's what is difficult to understand . Why be in the unsatisfactory relationship to start with ?
For singles who are genuinely single it's perfectly understandable to want more than just NSA sex . The coldness of NSA would be so unsatisfactory after a while . Going home to an empty bed , having no one to chat with , share dreams , or simply to slob out with watching a movie . But when you are in a relationship , how long before you realise your partner is holding you back when you have a fwb that gives you all the fun in life ?
It doesn't seem logical to me .
I can totally get playing away if ones sex life at home is crap , and NSA sex scratches that itch . It's the fwb thing when you're in a relationship , and cheating that puzzles me .
Depends on how you view sex though doesn't it? To me it's more than just fuck & go, it's an opportunity to have a shared experience, to experiment, play out desires that are enhanced when meeting more than once.
I'm lucky enough to have made some great connections on here but logistically meeting more than a few times a year isn't feasible.
My ideal is to meet someone on a regular irregular basis if that makes sense."
Exactly this, we would be the same maybe every month/six weeks or so. Therefore, A weekend away do friend stuff, but we just stay together at the end of the day, great if they want to spend the whole weekend with us, equally great if they don't..
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a FWB and it started as a fab meet, we got on so well that we spend non sexual time together too as well as the good sex  "
this is what i'd consider a fwb.
all i have is fuck buddies or regular fucks. not that bothered really, i like regular sex and enjoy spending time to myself.
ideally i'd like to be a hotwife/cuckoldress with fuck buddies. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I love the idea of an FWB. We are people, not sex objects. Some might think otherwise on here, and that works for them I know.
But a friend with benefits meaning a 'fucking sexy friend' whom I also want to constantly have sex with, would be a great set up.
But, how do you find one?
Do you find a hot as fuck match in the hope that you get on?
Or
Do you find somebody you get on with first, somebody you know you've got things in common with, inthe hope that you'll want to eventually jump in the sack together?
Do you have a FWB, and how did you get to this arrangement?
"
op as a guy who has three fwb right now I would say it works like this you need three things to align to become friends with benefits
one personality you have to enjoy each others life outlook and the conversation from the first social must just flow endlessly you must find them interesting as a human being they must find you the same .
secondly sexual compatibility anyone can fuck anyone to a reasonable standard but real sexual compatibility comes about when your real sexual animal inspires there sexual animal and its the same for you there sexual animal inspires you endlessly .
thirdly both parties must have the kind of personality that does not fear commitment and the hurt that can come with that commitment especially when things come to a end as they eventually do .
op while you having fun you can look for people with those three attributes and trust me they exist out there .
the first woman to ever turn my head turned into a absolute adorable kinky creature in my company that fwb lasted just over 6 years.
my three such arrangements at the minute range from just over two years being the shortest to the longest being 4 years early next year.
they exist and in my experience are not that hard to find establish and maintain if both parties are committed to making it work .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, sex is better with people I have a connection with. I find 'one offs' a bit disappointing. I prefer to meet on a regular-ish basis and to get to know the other person.
I had a lovely fwb a few years back. We spent weekends away together and kept in touch regularly.
More recently I have had a couple of fwb and enjoyed getting to know them. Sometimes the relationship reaches a natural conclusion, sometimes you stay friends but the benefits are social rather than sexual. I am glad I have known every one of them.
This is probably a really daft question, sorry. But if fwb go out for drinks etc together, how do you deal with people assuming you're dating? Surely you can't tell people you're just fwb as they won't understand or might look down on people 'just having sex'...?
Why do you have to tell them anything?? I usually let people assume what they like and introduce someone as 'my friend' if need be. With people I know very well I might say 'This is one of my toyboys' haha!
But that's one reason I prefer someone nearer my age for fwb, I would never go out with a young man, too toe curling! "
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