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Dating in 2016 and beyond
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
My parents always taught me to be friends with a man before you jump into bed with them...they dated the old fashioned way and I always find that way so romantic..As a single indepentant woman I find dating so much hard work..I've always believed in meeting someone the old fashioned way..down the pub or wherever but even that way seems so much like hard work..
I know the age old saying is it will happen when you aleast expect it and when you are not looking....  |
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By *workoutMan
over a year ago
Cradley Heath |
I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
I'd love to meet someone "in real life" that I instantly fall for and have an actual relationship with but in the absence of that I'm happy to use dating apps and sites to enjoy whatever comes along. |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
I'd love to meet someone "in real life" that I instantly fall for and have an actual relationship with but in the absence of that I'm happy to use dating apps and sites to enjoy whatever comes along."
I agree I over think, thinking sometimes I'm my own worst enemy and I do agree with what you are saying...in regards to the dating sites etc just find it hard work |
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Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! |
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By *workoutMan
over a year ago
Cradley Heath |
I think it's hard work if you allow it to take up too much of your thought process.
I've met quite a few people through dating apps, nobody from here yet although I am talking to a few but I don't let it consume my life.
There may be some people on here that think I'm all talk as I talk to them about wanting to meet but haven't yet. Logistics plays a big part.
Yes there is some work involved but if it starts to feel like hard work then take a step away from sites for a few days.
You might walk straight past the man of your dreams and miss him because your staring at the man who'll do for an hour or so on your phone! |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's hard work if you allow it to take up too much of your thought process.
I've met quite a few people through dating apps, nobody from here yet although I am talking to a few but I don't let it consume my life.
There may be some people on here that think I'm all talk as I talk to them about wanting to meet but haven't yet. Logistics plays a big part.
Yes there is some work involved but if it starts to feel like hard work then take a step away from sites for a few days.
You might walk straight past the man of your dreams and miss him because your staring at the man who'll do for an hour or so on your phone!"
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering  and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have |
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By *workoutMan
over a year ago
Cradley Heath |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb....."
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction. |
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"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction. "
A few years ago I'd have said your description sounded exciting, scintillating! Now I think it sounds a little sad!
Funny how you change once you've got tired of the meaningless shags! Xx |
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"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction. "
It's not fun though, and rather sad really.
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
A few years ago I'd have said your description sounded exciting, scintillating! Now I think it sounds a little sad!
Funny how you change once you've got tired of the meaningless shags! Xx "
 |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
It's not fun though, and rather sad really.
"
It can be fun to those who have never experienced it...people are now becoming single after leaving a 20+ year marriage who have never had the above experience...I think hook ups are good if you have just come out of a long term relationship as long as you are truely honest with your intentions |
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By *workoutMan
over a year ago
Cradley Heath |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
It's not fun though, and rather sad really.
It can be fun to those who have never experienced it...people are now becoming single after leaving a 20+ year marriage who have never had the above experience...I think hook ups are good if you have just come out of a long term relationship as long as you are truely honest with your intentions "
Exactly, it's fun for a while but like I say it can cause you to disconnect from the world around you and it does become quite unfulfilling.
I yearn to be in love again and commit to one person but after my last relationship I'm incapable of that right now. It wouldn't be fair on the woman for me offer something I'm not ready to give.
I guess I've not quite had my fill of meaningless sex yet
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
It's not fun though, and rather sad really.
It can be fun to those who have never experienced it...people are now becoming single after leaving a 20+ year marriage who have never had the above experience...I think hook ups are good if you have just come out of a long term relationship as long as you are truely honest with your intentions
Exactly, it's fun for a while but like I say it can cause you to disconnect from the world around you and it does become quite unfulfilling.
I yearn to be in love again and commit to one person but after my last relationship I'm incapable of that right now. It wouldn't be fair on the woman for me offer something I'm not ready to give.
I guess I've not quite had my fill of meaningless sex yet
"
Of course you have to be ready for love, you have a good head to say that it wouldn't be fair on the woman...some people are not always like that. |
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"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
It's not fun though, and rather sad really.
It can be fun to those who have never experienced it...people are now becoming single after leaving a 20+ year marriage who have never had the above experience...I think hook ups are good if you have just come out of a long term relationship as long as you are truely honest with your intentions
Exactly, it's fun for a while but like I say it can cause you to disconnect from the world around you and it does become quite unfulfilling.
I yearn to be in love again and commit to one person but after my last relationship I'm incapable of that right now. It wouldn't be fair on the woman for me offer something I'm not ready to give.
I guess I've not quite had my fill of meaningless sex yet
"
Well as long as you fill your boots without hurting anyone Hun there's nothing wrong in that!
Enjoy! |
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"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
A few years ago I'd have said your description sounded exciting, scintillating! Now I think it sounds a little sad!
Funny how you change once you've got tired of the meaningless shags! Xx "
Agree with you.
In the beginning it was exciting and fun. After my divorce I didn't want to invest emotionally with anyone so sites like these were perfect.
I became jaded and hid my profile, only making it visible for an hour while I took part in a forum challenge. Ben logged on for the first time in a year and found my profile...that was three years ago and we're still together.
My daughters met their husbands at school, at church and on the train.
Friends are worried their 20 and 30 something kids can't find partners as many still find internet dating taboo and sensational stories in the media don't help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely. People aren't looking for commitment anymore a lot of the time. Personally I never understood it but I've never really bothered with going out my way to meet anyone either. Me and Dorian just met by chance and we've been together 3 years and I'm happy but from what I hear dating can be a hassle - trying to actually find someone who's not looking for an easy lay or for someone who is actually interested in you as person and not how quickly they can get in between your legs. |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
A few years ago I'd have said your description sounded exciting, scintillating! Now I think it sounds a little sad!
Funny how you change once you've got tired of the meaningless shags! Xx
Agree with you.
In the beginning it was exciting and fun. After my divorce I didn't want to invest emotionally with anyone so sites like these were perfect.
I became jaded and hid my profile, only making it visible for an hour while I took part in a forum challenge. Ben logged on for the first time in a year and found my profile...that was three years ago and we're still together.
My daughters met their husbands at school, at church and on the train.
Friends are worried their 20 and 30 something kids can't find partners as many still find internet dating taboo and sensational stories in the media don't help."
My mum cringed when I talk about internet dating and was so excited that I'd found someone in "real life" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely. People aren't looking for commitment anymore a lot of the time. Personally I never understood it but I've never really bothered with going out my way to meet anyone either. Me and Dorian just met by chance and we've been together 3 years and I'm happy but from what I hear dating can be a hassle - trying to actually find someone who's not looking for an easy lay or for someone who is actually interested in you as person and not how quickly they can get in between your legs."
Guys on dating sites seemed to be either just wanting a shag or just wanting some woman to do their ironing. Nothing in between, not even fwb type things.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
A few years ago I'd have said your description sounded exciting, scintillating! Now I think it sounds a little sad!
Funny how you change once you've got tired of the meaningless shags! Xx
Agree with you.
In the beginning it was exciting and fun. After my divorce I didn't want to invest emotionally with anyone so sites like these were perfect.
I became jaded and hid my profile, only making it visible for an hour while I took part in a forum challenge. Ben logged on for the first time in a year and found my profile...that was three years ago and we're still together.
My daughters met their husbands at school, at church and on the train.
Friends are worried their 20 and 30 something kids can't find partners as many still find internet dating taboo and sensational stories in the media don't help.
My mum cringed when I talk about internet dating and was so excited that I'd found someone in "real life" "
Aww Colin. |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I think it's so much easier these days to just hook up with someone for sex thanks to the Internet basically.
Why the Internet?
It worked that way perfectly well before t'interweb.....
The fact that I can sit at home in my pj's, type a few messages, exchange a few pictures and be having sex with someone by the end of the week if I'm lucky.
Dating apps, swingers sites even general social media means your constantly connected to people, I can flirt while doing the laundry, I can exchange dirty text messages while cooking dinner. I can basically meet, seduce or be _educed, arrange to have sex with someone and see them naked without even leaving the house.
That's how the Internet makes it so easy these days to disconnect from the outside world and just arrange hook ups without any initial personal interaction.
A few years ago I'd have said your description sounded exciting, scintillating! Now I think it sounds a little sad!
Funny how you change once you've got tired of the meaningless shags! Xx
Agree with you.
In the beginning it was exciting and fun. After my divorce I didn't want to invest emotionally with anyone so sites like these were perfect.
I became jaded and hid my profile, only making it visible for an hour while I took part in a forum challenge. Ben logged on for the first time in a year and found my profile...that was three years ago and we're still together.
My daughters met their husbands at school, at church and on the train.
Friends are worried their 20 and 30 something kids can't find partners as many still find internet dating taboo and sensational stories in the media don't help.
My mum cringed when I talk about internet dating and was so excited that I'd found someone in "real life"
Aww Colin. "
Yes Colin he has remained faithful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window |
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"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
"
I do yes, the world has changed and I think people do with age too. I never did 'date' per se - I started relationships with people I already knew mostly - from my wider social group, from college, possibly from work.....They were sexual from the get go, but usually lasted months or years.
But when you are young far more people are looking for a life partner to settle down and raise kids etc.and are prepared to 'merge' their life with someone else and create a whole new life as a pair.
At my age most men have raised kids, lost half their assets in a divorce - and have decided even if they do want something that could be described as a relationship, they just want a woman to slot into the spaces they have spare, maybe one evening a week and weekends they don't have kids, without changing ANYTHING about their lifestyle. Many would really rather just have a no-hassle shag, even if it is a regular fb or fwb one. I think more men are happy with that than women, which is why we rule the roost here, and men rule on dating sites.
I find it rather depressing actually - I still want all the bells, whistles and access to sex and hugs 365 days a year!!  |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window"
I like your idea but I do think the old fashioned way has gone out the window....you only have to look at Facebook...more affairs and whatever are started because of Facebook |
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"I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window"
Yes, agreed. I'm just waiting for someone to engage me - and I can count the number that have on one hand I think. |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
I do yes, the world has changed and I think people do with age too. I never did 'date' per se - I started relationships with people I already knew mostly - from my wider social group, from college, possibly from work.....They were sexual from the get go, but usually lasted months or years.
But when you are young far more people are looking for a life partner to settle down and raise kids etc.and are prepared to 'merge' their life with someone else and create a whole new life as a pair.
At my age most men have raised kids, lost half their assets in a divorce - and have decided even if they do want something that could be described as a relationship, they just want a woman to slot into the spaces they have spare, maybe one evening a week and weekends they don't have kids, without changing ANYTHING about their lifestyle. Many would really rather just have a no-hassle shag, even if it is a regular fb or fwb one. I think more men are happy with that than women, which is why we rule the roost here, and men rule on dating sites.
I find it rather depressing actually - I still want all the bells, whistles and access to sex and hugs 365 days a year!! "
I think for me it's an age thing I'm 37 in a few months and still haven't had kids I put so much pressure on myself regarding this and I think that's my downfall but time is going so fast you just think holy shit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah, all the girls iv met we have both agreed it would be nice to go out have fun and engage in one another. Very few have been open wanting just sex. 2016 is all about male effort and its tiring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window"
I found that with online all the profiles are the same. They try to portray what they think other people are looking for. It's full of buzzwords, I got sick of reading, fun, bubbly, down to earth, laid back, outgoing, looking for a partner in crime, and to go on adventures.
I had to give because no one captured my attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
I do yes, the world has changed and I think people do with age too. I never did 'date' per se - I started relationships with people I already knew mostly - from my wider social group, from college, possibly from work.....They were sexual from the get go, but usually lasted months or years.
But when you are young far more people are looking for a life partner to settle down and raise kids etc.and are prepared to 'merge' their life with someone else and create a whole new life as a pair.
At my age most men have raised kids, lost half their assets in a divorce - and have decided even if they do want something that could be described as a relationship, they just want a woman to slot into the spaces they have spare, maybe one evening a week and weekends they don't have kids, without changing ANYTHING about their lifestyle. Many would really rather just have a no-hassle shag, even if it is a regular fb or fwb one. I think more men are happy with that than women, which is why we rule the roost here, and men rule on dating sites.
I find it rather depressing actually - I still want all the bells, whistles and access to sex and hugs 365 days a year!!
I think for me it's an age thing I'm 37 in a few months and still haven't had kids I put so much pressure on myself regarding this and I think that's my downfall but time is going so fast you just think holy shit "
Do you think not having kids is a disadvantage when it comes to dating in your 30s?
I find that women my age are hesitant to date someone with a child as young as mine, most of the women I know have had their children and they are at least in their teens, and from the point of view of a lot of guys I know, at my age they don't want any more kids |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
I do yes, the world has changed and I think people do with age too. I never did 'date' per se - I started relationships with people I already knew mostly - from my wider social group, from college, possibly from work.....They were sexual from the get go, but usually lasted months or years.
But when you are young far more people are looking for a life partner to settle down and raise kids etc.and are prepared to 'merge' their life with someone else and create a whole new life as a pair.
At my age most men have raised kids, lost half their assets in a divorce - and have decided even if they do want something that could be described as a relationship, they just want a woman to slot into the spaces they have spare, maybe one evening a week and weekends they don't have kids, without changing ANYTHING about their lifestyle. Many would really rather just have a no-hassle shag, even if it is a regular fb or fwb one. I think more men are happy with that than women, which is why we rule the roost here, and men rule on dating sites.
I find it rather depressing actually - I still want all the bells, whistles and access to sex and hugs 365 days a year!!
I think for me it's an age thing I'm 37 in a few months and still haven't had kids I put so much pressure on myself regarding this and I think that's my downfall but time is going so fast you just think holy shit
Do you think not having kids is a disadvantage when it comes to dating in your 30s?
I find that women my age are hesitant to date someone with a child as young as mine, most of the women I know have had their children and they are at least in their teens, and from the point of view of a lot of guys I know, at my age they don't want any more kids"
It's a huge disadvantage as most men don't want any more kids |
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"I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window
I found that with online all the profiles are the same. They try to portray what they think other people are looking for. It's full of buzzwords, I got sick of reading, fun, bubbly, down to earth, laid back, outgoing, looking for a partner in crime, and to go on adventures.
I had to give because no one captured my attention. "
Haha, on here it's 'fun guy wanting fun'. Oh such fun 
On dating sites at my age it's 'sofa, DVD and a glass of red' and all I can think of is 'get off your fat arse I want to go DANCING!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
I do yes, the world has changed and I think people do with age too. I never did 'date' per se - I started relationships with people I already knew mostly - from my wider social group, from college, possibly from work.....They were sexual from the get go, but usually lasted months or years.
But when you are young far more people are looking for a life partner to settle down and raise kids etc.and are prepared to 'merge' their life with someone else and create a whole new life as a pair.
At my age most men have raised kids, lost half their assets in a divorce - and have decided even if they do want something that could be described as a relationship, they just want a woman to slot into the spaces they have spare, maybe one evening a week and weekends they don't have kids, without changing ANYTHING about their lifestyle. Many would really rather just have a no-hassle shag, even if it is a regular fb or fwb one. I think more men are happy with that than women, which is why we rule the roost here, and men rule on dating sites.
I find it rather depressing actually - I still want all the bells, whistles and access to sex and hugs 365 days a year!!
I think for me it's an age thing I'm 37 in a few months and still haven't had kids I put so much pressure on myself regarding this and I think that's my downfall but time is going so fast you just think holy shit
Do you think not having kids is a disadvantage when it comes to dating in your 30s?
I find that women my age are hesitant to date someone with a child as young as mine, most of the women I know have had their children and they are at least in their teens, and from the point of view of a lot of guys I know, at my age they don't want any more kids
It's a huge disadvantage as most men don't want any more kids "
I totally get where you are coming from, for me the choice is date someone who is much younger who's kids are about the same age as mine, or wait and hope that there's one person who doesn't mind Holliday's based around kid friendly resorts, or had a child later in life like I did, I just can't invest emotionally to so etching thast feels like its going to fail |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! "
This is exactly true from my experiences. I hover between having another look for dating and giving up because everyone just seems to want a fuck. I don't think anyone really dates anymore |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
I do yes, the world has changed and I think people do with age too. I never did 'date' per se - I started relationships with people I already knew mostly - from my wider social group, from college, possibly from work.....They were sexual from the get go, but usually lasted months or years.
But when you are young far more people are looking for a life partner to settle down and raise kids etc.and are prepared to 'merge' their life with someone else and create a whole new life as a pair.
At my age most men have raised kids, lost half their assets in a divorce - and have decided even if they do want something that could be described as a relationship, they just want a woman to slot into the spaces they have spare, maybe one evening a week and weekends they don't have kids, without changing ANYTHING about their lifestyle. Many would really rather just have a no-hassle shag, even if it is a regular fb or fwb one. I think more men are happy with that than women, which is why we rule the roost here, and men rule on dating sites.
I find it rather depressing actually - I still want all the bells, whistles and access to sex and hugs 365 days a year!!
I think for me it's an age thing I'm 37 in a few months and still haven't had kids I put so much pressure on myself regarding this and I think that's my downfall but time is going so fast you just think holy shit
Do you think not having kids is a disadvantage when it comes to dating in your 30s?
I find that women my age are hesitant to date someone with a child as young as mine, most of the women I know have had their children and they are at least in their teens, and from the point of view of a lot of guys I know, at my age they don't want any more kids
It's a huge disadvantage as most men don't want any more kids
I totally get where you are coming from, for me the choice is date someone who is much younger who's kids are about the same age as mine, or wait and hope that there's one person who doesn't mind Holliday's based around kid friendly resorts, or had a child later in life like I did, I just can't invest emotionally to so etching thast feels like its going to fail"
I still live in hope that someone sperm wants to meet my egg if not then turkey Baster job it is |
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"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's hard work if you allow it to take up too much of your thought process.
I've met quite a few people through dating apps, nobody from here yet although I am talking to a few but I don't let it consume my life.
There may be some people on here that think I'm all talk as I talk to them about wanting to meet but haven't yet. Logistics plays a big part.
Yes there is some work involved but if it starts to feel like hard work then take a step away from sites for a few days.
You might walk straight past the man of your dreams and miss him because your staring at the man who'll do for an hour or so on your phone!
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have "
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's hard work if you allow it to take up too much of your thought process.
I've met quite a few people through dating apps, nobody from here yet although I am talking to a few but I don't let it consume my life.
There may be some people on here that think I'm all talk as I talk to them about wanting to meet but haven't yet. Logistics plays a big part.
Yes there is some work involved but if it starts to feel like hard work then take a step away from sites for a few days.
You might walk straight past the man of your dreams and miss him because your staring at the man who'll do for an hour or so on your phone!
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach. "
Same goes for women lol, not just men lie and cheat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach.
Same goes for women lol, not just men lie and cheat"
Where did I say men lie and cheat? I just said it's more likely that guys our age (thirties) are already attached.
That's guy you see in tesco is probably picking up something nice to eat with his wife/girlfriend! |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach.
Same goes for women lol, not just men lie and cheat
Where did I say men lie and cheat? I just said it's more likely that guys our age (thirties) are already attached.
That's guy you see in tesco is probably picking up something nice to eat with his wife/girlfriend! "
I also don't really stalk men in supermarkets |
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"
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach.
Same goes for women lol, not just men lie and cheat
Where did I say men lie and cheat? I just said it's more likely that guys our age (thirties) are already attached.
That's guy you see in tesco is probably picking up something nice to eat with his wife/girlfriend!
I also don't really stalk men in supermarkets "
I do |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach.
Same goes for women lol, not just men lie and cheat
Where did I say men lie and cheat? I just said it's more likely that guys our age (thirties) are already attached.
That's guy you see in tesco is probably picking up something nice to eat with his wife/girlfriend!
I also don't really stalk men in supermarkets
I do "
Ohhh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
well, i dated someone and went without sex for weeks coz i wanted to date 'the right way'. he went quiet after so i've decided i'm gonna continue fucking guys while dating but not fuck the guy i'm dating so that if he is looking for sex he won't get that.
makes sense to do it this way. |
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"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'' just going to throw myself in front of the first single bloke walking around the Supermarket on a Saturday night at 9pm with a basket. 10 items or less Sir? You'll do for me!
I have to laugh or I'll cry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A shared interest is a good way, like triathlon club, that kind of thing. Asking friends if they have a single friend, that's worked for one of my friends.
Change something as otherwise you'll never come across anyone new.
Compromise: perfect dates don't exist except in fairytales, so accept the warts and all or stay single. And don't put a timescale on it.
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Im looking for someone i click with. And do vanilla stuff with.
If it develoos in to a relationship, great. Id like a regular hottie in my life, one who feels the same toward me, and to co tinue on the scene and go to clubs with.
There's my ad!
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Not sure I could ever date again , out of a 15 year relationship this year and that took its toll. I don't think I could honestly open up to someone like that again.
Not saying it will never happen as time changes everything. However in the short term future I certainly don't see myself in a relationship of any kind. |
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"A shared interest is a good way, like triathlon club, that kind of thing. Asking friends if they have a single friend, that's worked for one of my friends.
Change something as otherwise you'll never come across anyone new.
Compromise: perfect dates don't exist except in fairytales, so accept the warts and all or stay single. And don't put a timescale on it.
"
tell my mr hotlist that. Apparantley 160 miles is an issue.... Despite feeling it for me also
Sort. It. Out.!!!!
There's my moan too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'' just going to throw myself in front of the first single bloke walking around the Supermarket on a Saturday night at 9pm with a basket. 10 items or less Sir? You'll do for me!
I have to laugh or I'll cry."
A man gets to the checkout of a supermarket and places one chicken breast, one potato, one carrot and one piece of broccoli on the conveyor belt. The cashier says 'I bet you're single'. The man replies, 'how did you know?' The cashier says, 'because you're an ugly bastard!'
On a serious note, despite the technology or the social climate most people will reach a point in life where they just want to be with someone. I'm pretty much at that point. I don't mind my own company but life's so much more fulfilling when you're sharing it with someone. |
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2 blind dates for me instead, organised by friends of ours at the time that knew we both was looking for someone.
both was loverly ladies didnt get chance to date them properly as they both bedded me that same night something I kinda wasnt expecting at the time.
before you ask I was with the person for a long while after the second blind date we have children together
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"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
"
No, not judging by our kids. Proper relationships are still seen as the norm, and something to strive for. But there is a greater chance for one-night stands while you wait.
The risk is that people forget what is really important in a relationship while they are chasing physical thrills. Plus disposable relationships risk people forgetting that you have to work on a proper relationship, that they all have their ups & downs.
Is there a Mr/Mrs Right for everyone? No, there are thousands. People just need to stop seeking Mr/Mrs Perfect or Mr/Mrs Hot.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think a lot of single men, and a few women on here don't even know what a date is, and that's rather worrying  "
i do now, it's alright.
not as fun as when you were younger and just hung out with a load of people and copped off with whoever took your fancy and started 'going out' with them, which just involved hanging out with your mates and holding their hand while doing that then having a snog when they walked you home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'' just going to throw myself in front of the first single bloke walking around the Supermarket on a Saturday night at 9pm with a basket. 10 items or less Sir? You'll do for me!
I have to laugh or I'll cry."
Tell you where I've seen some fit guys is the old shitty tesco by Querella road! |
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By *ild-1Woman
over a year ago
york |
"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! "
Couldn't put it better myself |
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By *acLe0dMan
over a year ago
Preston |
"Do you think more so now more than ever that we live in a society that primarily is looking for "hook ups" rather than dating?
My parents always taught me to be friends with a man before you jump into bed with them...they dated the old fashioned way and I always find that way so romantic..As a single indepentant woman I find dating so much hard work..I've always believed in meeting someone the old fashioned way..down the pub or wherever but even that way seems so much like hard work..
I know the age old saying is it will happen when you aleast expect it and when you are not looking.... "
I'm not getting any younger here, so I wish cupid would hurry up. 
But in the modern 24 hour world in which we live do we make as much time as we could perhaps to meet that special someone. People don't go seem to go to pubs as often as they did years ago. So we move towards internet dating sites were we could write just about anything in order to catch the eye of that special someone doesn't mean any of it's true and yes you will eventually get caught out but it might get you to first base, a date.
And yes I was brought up with similiar beliefs. |
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"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! "
wow glad to see you back peach perfect...and another few years knocked off you again......til you read the profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I just need to stop thinking and sort my head out "
or, you could decide what it is you want in a man, make a shortlist of available men that fit that criteria, and get a great big net..... |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I think it's hard work if you allow it to take up too much of your thought process.
I've met quite a few people through dating apps, nobody from here yet although I am talking to a few but I don't let it consume my life.
There may be some people on here that think I'm all talk as I talk to them about wanting to meet but haven't yet. Logistics plays a big part.
Yes there is some work involved but if it starts to feel like hard work then take a step away from sites for a few days.
You might walk straight past the man of your dreams and miss him because your staring at the man who'll do for an hour or so on your phone!
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach. "
I always assume if I see an attractivde girl my age out and about, she probably has a feller. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'!
wow glad to see you back peach perfect...and another few years knocked off you again......til you read the profile "
I'd luv to know who you 2 really are  |
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By *acLe0dMan
over a year ago
Preston |
"I think it's hard work if you allow it to take up too much of your thought process.
I've met quite a few people through dating apps, nobody from here yet although I am talking to a few but I don't let it consume my life.
There may be some people on here that think I'm all talk as I talk to them about wanting to meet but haven't yet. Logistics plays a big part.
Yes there is some work involved but if it starts to feel like hard work then take a step away from sites for a few days.
You might walk straight past the man of your dreams and miss him because your staring at the man who'll do for an hour or so on your phone!
I agree with you, hence why I'm not bothering and I do agree maybe if I lifted my head up once in a while and looked at people in everyday life then possibly who knows...I think a lot that's a huge trait I have
Thing is in real life the guys our age there's no real way of knowing if they're single and safe to approach.
I always assume if I see an attractivde girl my age out and about, she probably has a feller. "
Isn't that the downside to being "highly attractive" for either gender potential partners will think you are already taken or out of your league. |
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"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'!
wow glad to see you back peach perfect...and another few years knocked off you again......til you read the profile
I'd luv to know who you 2 really are "
Or are 'they' really 'one'??  |
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"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'!
wow glad to see you back peach perfect...and another few years knocked off you again......til you read the profile
I'd luv to know who you 2 really are "
Well they've hidden their profile now... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window
I found that with online all the profiles are the same. They try to portray what they think other people are looking for. It's full of buzzwords, I got sick of reading, fun, bubbly, down to earth, laid back, outgoing, looking for a partner in crime, and to go on adventures.
I had to give because no one captured my attention.
Haha, on here it's 'fun guy wanting fun'. Oh such fun
On dating sites at my age it's 'sofa, DVD and a glass of red' and all I can think of is 'get off your fat arse I want to go DANCING!!! "
I want to go out to the theatre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Guys on dating sites seemed to be either just wanting a shag or just wanting some woman to do their ironing. Nothing in between, not even fwb type things. "
This is what I've found too. Although technically I've still got a profile on a vanilla dating site, I'm not expecting it to go anywhere. I had my kids quite young by today's standards (I'm 37, they will turn 8 and 12 shortly). I split from my ex husband 3yrs ago, and me and the kids make a good little team. There are many men who wouldn't even entertain the thought of starting a relationship with "a mum", and I certainly wouldn't be interested in anyone who saw my kids as a negative. I'm honest enough to say after a sex less marriage, sexual compatability is *very* important to me.....so a try before you buy is necessary, I'm my opinion!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I think you're right Cheeky!
When you first become single after a long relationship the 'temporary hook-up' world we seem to live in is ideal as that's what you're looking for - but eventually you get tired of shagging someone who has no feelings for you - however gorgeous and ripped (or otherwise) they may be!
Guess I'm getting to the stage of looking for more now - but dating sites seem to have as many guys looking for one night stands and 'FB only' as fab does - they're just generally more honest on here!
Good luck Cheeky - and to everyone else in fab world who's looking for 'more'! "
Pretty much sums it up.
I gave up on dating long ago and my fab career isn't going too great either  |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date... "
I'll take you on a date but I ain't buying you flowers or holding your hand. I will take you to Costco and we can wander the aisles whilst I whisper sweet nothings into your ear. Things like "they've got a special offer on the bacon and Prosecco." On the way home I'll treat you to a some chicken nuggets at Maccies!
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
I'll take you on a date but I ain't buying you flowers or holding your hand. I will take you to Costco and we can wander the aisles whilst I whisper sweet nothings into your ear. Things like "they've got a special offer on the bacon and Prosecco." On the way home I'll treat you to a some chicken nuggets at Maccies!
"
And that my dear is why you are my best friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date... "
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts"
lol @ im not hitting on you...
sounded pretty much like you were |
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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago
The land of grey peas and bacon |
"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts"
Geeee thanks for hitting on me |
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"I find the idea of internet dating in its traditional sense depressing, its a constant parade of profiles, trying to find things in common, the thought process that goes into establishing what it is you are looking for, the constant examination of variables, trying to ascertain if the person you are looking at is right for you, will she hurt you, will she try to change you, its exhausting.
I'd much rather meet someone all accidental like, and be surprised by feelings developing, when that happens, all of your concerns fly out of the window
I found that with online all the profiles are the same. They try to portray what they think other people are looking for. It's full of buzzwords, I got sick of reading, fun, bubbly, down to earth, laid back, outgoing, looking for a partner in crime, and to go on adventures.
I had to give because no one captured my attention.
Haha, on here it's 'fun guy wanting fun'. Oh such fun
On dating sites at my age it's 'sofa, DVD and a glass of red' and all I can think of is 'get off your fat arse I want to go DANCING!!!
I want to go out to the theatre "
Anywhere would be fine!! Yes, it's nice to stay in and smooch on the sofa sometimes, but these guys were just giving up on any kind of physical activity - use it or lose it man!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I did meet someone who wanted to actually date me, there would be no sex. Not until I felt he wasn't lying, to get sex. "
this is why i've decided to carry on fucking other guys and not fuck any guy i'm dating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thinking about this more, I think the downside to the "swipe left/right" thing is that some people, even on meeting someone they feel compatability with, do still wonder if xyz could be a better this, or that. It *can* make people feel expendable. I also think as we get older, especially those who have had unhappy long term relationships, we get more aware of ourselves, and what we need from a partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I did meet someone who wanted to actually date me, there would be no sex. Not until I felt he wasn't lying, to get sex. "
This is exactly why I give up really easily. I hate when they lie or pretend just to get a shag.
I don't like telling them what I want because it feels like blackmail. Like, "take me out and I'll shag you..." Surely going out should be a mutual thing, not something I have to ask for? |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Before the internet (I know us oldies remember there was a time before ite) as a young guy I'd be in bars and clubs chatting and trying my luck..
Times change and evolve, I'm now thankful for the internet if it wasn't for this avenue where would I / you go.. I've been into the city centre s on a night out and I feel so out of place
I remember as a lad seeing 'old'men (in reality my age now ) in the bars and clubs and they we're out of place, I'd hate to be the old geezer,
It's a shame that 'dating' sites aren't used for that , I joined here after my divorce and I've enjoyed my no strings fun, I'm now looking for some thing with strings and that's difficult as a lot of folk aren't , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I did meet someone who wanted to actually date me, there would be no sex. Not until I felt he wasn't lying, to get sex.
This is exactly why I give up really easily. I hate when they lie or pretend just to get a shag.
I don't like telling them what I want because it feels like blackmail. Like, "take me out and I'll shag you..." Surely going out should be a mutual thing, not something I have to ask for? "
i used to offer the GFE, thinking guys would take me out and make some effort, i only ever got offered to stay in with a dvd lol. like some guys think dating is staying in coz that's all they did in relationships.
but yeah course you can ask for what you want, men aren't psychic, and i think loads of people aren't sure what dating is coz they've never really done it. |
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Feeling unwanted is worse
Id like someone to spend time with, hug alot and see how things progress.
Don't think I could fuck someone I wouldn't have dinner with or cinema, or who wouldn't spend time with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts
lol @ im not hitting on you...
sounded pretty much like you were"
Now you sassy are a different matter, I am hitting on you even when it sounds like I'm not,see, I'm hitting on you now!
Faf! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts
Geeee thanks for hitting on me "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts
lol @ im not hitting on you...
sounded pretty much like you were
Now you sassy are a different matter, I am hitting on you even when it sounds like I'm not,see, I'm hitting on you now!
Faf! Lol"
lmfao! you my dear are funny x x
and a bit daft :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm good enough to shag but not good enough to date...
If I was a foot taller, and didn't wear white socks so much I'd date you.
Although on reflection, that's probably not the most consoling post on the thread lol
But you are a caring compassionate, and intelligent woman, so I can't see why you wouldn't be girlfriend/wife/mother of someone's child material, it makes no sense.
By the way, I'm not hitting on you, just stating facts
lol @ im not hitting on you...
sounded pretty much like you were
Now you sassy are a different matter, I am hitting on you even when it sounds like I'm not,see, I'm hitting on you now!
Faf! Lol
lmfao! you my dear are funny x x
and a bit daft :D "
I'm very daft, daft about you!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still have never been on a date from a dating site after being on them for 3 years!
It just seems weird and disconnected. Forced and not particularly organic.
All of my meaningful relationships have come from meeting women out and about at bars, and then arranging to meet again for drinks and slowly getting to know each other.
But hanging around bars isn't possible to do forever, and I don't really live in the right area for that any more.
Age definitely becomes a factor too, and I'm very conscious that most of the women roughly my age are getting broody whereas I don't want children. |
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Well... I don't look for dates on here and I'm not actively looking for a relationship but it'd be great if that happened. I think it'll be more likely that I'll find a partner using cold fashioned' methods though. Dont know why I think that, just a feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still have never been on a date from a dating site after being on them for 3 years!
It just seems weird and disconnected. Forced and not particularly organic.
All of my meaningful relationships have come from meeting women out and about at bars, and then arranging to meet again for drinks and slowly getting to know each other.
But hanging around bars isn't possible to do forever, and I don't really live in the right area for that any more.
Age definitely becomes a factor too, and I'm very conscious that most of the women roughly my age are getting broody whereas I don't want children."
If a normal (ish) guy doesn't want children would that stop him ever wanting a relationship with someone that already has a child?
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"I still have never been on a date from a dating site after being on them for 3 years!
It just seems weird and disconnected. Forced and not particularly organic.
All of my meaningful relationships have come from meeting women out and about at bars, and then arranging to meet again for drinks and slowly getting to know each other.
But hanging around bars isn't possible to do forever, and I don't really live in the right area for that any more.
Age definitely becomes a factor too, and I'm very conscious that most of the women roughly my age are getting broody whereas I don't want children.
If a normal (ish) guy doesn't want children would that stop him ever wanting a relationship with someone that already has a child?
"
No I dong want anymore children but I'd happily see a woman who had kids. It's the baby thing that really puts me off, dont find kids interesting until they can hold an Interesting and intelligent conversation. So thats about 13! |
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"Well... I don't look for dates on here and I'm not actively looking for a relationship but it'd be great if that happened. I think it'll be more likely that I'll find a partner using cold fashioned' methods though. Dont know why I think that, just a feeling."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sister got it right, she's 21 and has been with her boyfriend since they first became friends when they were 4 years old! I even count him as my brother cos he's been around so long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are women that I've met on spontaneous one night stands that I'll never, ever forget.
There are many women who were sexual friends or passionate lovers, who are now platonic but lifelong friends.
There are a few women that I've cared for and would rather forget.
No rules.
Life is what happens to you when you're busy making plans (or rules).
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