why is it when arranging a meet I mention that I have an illiostomy bag that my messages get deleted and I don't hear from them again.
I stood up to cancer and beat it but I sometimes wonder at what was the point don't get me wrong I'm bloody grateful I'm alive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why is it when arranging a meet I mention that I have an illiostomy bag that my messages get deleted and I don't hear from them again.
I stood up to cancer and beat it but I sometimes wonder at what was the point don't get me wrong I'm bloody grateful I'm alive"
Sorry to be so brutal , but if the people you message have a choice between meeting you with the bag , and a multitude of others who don't , why would they choose you ?
It's hard enough for single guys on here , and will be so much harder for you .
Sorry , but that's the hard facts |
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Are you sure there's no other common denominators? I'd imagine it would put some people off, but I can't imagine every person being put off enough to stop talking to you. If so that's pretty harsh of them.
If it were me, I'd put a sentence about it in my profile. I know its not the same but a few people got put off when I said I was on crutches... I've had no issues since I mentioned it on my profile.
I don't actually know what my point is...
People are dicks |
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Ah OK thanks! I'd just stick a line in your profile as someone has already said, least if you are up front it's not a big conversation stopper. Don't think this would bother me all that much to be honest couple of people in my family have colostomy bags so not big news to me. Surprised I'd never heard of this on that basis though  |
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By *rMrs_CCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"why is it when arranging a meet I mention that I have an illiostomy bag that my messages get deleted and I don't hear from them again.
I stood up to cancer and beat it but I sometimes wonder at what was the point don't get me wrong I'm bloody grateful I'm alive
Sorry to be so brutal , but if the people you message have a choice between meeting you with the bag , and a multitude of others who don't , why would they choose you ?
It's hard enough for single guys on here , and will be so much harder for you .
Sorry , but that's the hard facts "
I think that's harsh. It shows great strength... He kicked cancers butt and bears a scar.
Uneducated people who don't really know what it is. It doesn't change who he is, and it's great to be honest.
Keep smiling, let the fickle ones go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why is it when arranging a meet I mention that I have an illiostomy bag that my messages get deleted and I don't hear from them again.
"
Why are you even bothering to care?
You are NOT the one with the problem.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why is it when arranging a meet I mention that I have an illiostomy bag that my messages get deleted and I don't hear from them again.
I stood up to cancer and beat it but I sometimes wonder at what was the point don't get me wrong I'm bloody grateful I'm alive
Sorry to be so brutal , but if the people you message have a choice between meeting you with the bag , and a multitude of others who don't , why would they choose you ?
It's hard enough for single guys on here , and will be so much harder for you .
Sorry , but that's the hard facts
I think that's harsh. It shows great strength... He kicked cancers butt and bears a scar.
Uneducated people who don't really know what it is. It doesn't change who he is, and it's great to be honest.
Keep smiling, let the fickle ones go. "
I didn't say he didn't have great strength , I was answering his question .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"because that's just me"
There is a saying..and it's a good one.
It goes like this:
"The less you care about what other people think, the happier you'll be".
That goes DOUBLE for things you cannot control.
I don't have any issues like what you have, but if I did, I wouldn't waste my time being affected by someone else's actions about something I couldn't control. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your a good looking chap op. I wouldn't be put off but I would wish to know before a play meet. Also to save ignorance id wish to be reasured that your condition won't affect play and if so how.
I'm sure others wouldn't be put off either but fab is fickle and a lot of folk on here wish to play With their dream playmates. Xxx |
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"Your a good looking chap op. I wouldn't be put off but I would wish to know before a play meet. Also to save ignorance id wish to be reasured that your condition won't affect play and if so how.
I'm sure others wouldn't be put off either but fab is fickle and a lot of folk on here wish to play With their dream playmates. Xxx"
not really just visually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe put a bit in your profile text and explain what it is/does. Say how that affects you (certain positions a no go etc, or not). That might take away the mystery of it a bit and then folk are free to choose whether to contact you or not, rather than you getting disheartened by a message deletion.
Obviously you don't have to do that, but people like to know what they're dealing with and how it affects fun. They might feel a bit awkward to ask you about it directly.
I'' sure on a site as large as this you are not the only one with such bag, maybe someone else can offer advice from experience.
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I had psoriasis which covered my arms and legs (currently clear) and it's amazing how many guys said they didn't care.
But then suddenly couldn't meet for other reasons. 4 at least that I'd been chatting to for a long while. And one guy I did meet kept glancing down at my legs (wen though I was wearing thick hold ups) as you could sort of see it through them - while we were fucking...
Suddenly now I'm clear I seem to have no trouble with meets.
My husband said he never saw the psoriasis, he was so used to it. He just used to worry that he'd hurt me.
It sounds an odd thing to say on a swingers site but you may do better starting a relationship with someone so they can get to know the real you, and then they won't care so much about it. Because they care about you more, if you see what I mean?
I know it IS the personal preference of other people. But it doesn't help your self esteem. I used to hate looking at my own body when I had sex with my husband. Getting turned down by other people the second I mentioned it just sort of confirmed those thoughts in my head.
I will say this though, you aren't the only guy on Fab with a bag. Good luck hun.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your a good looking chap op. I wouldn't be put off but I would wish to know before a play meet. Also to save ignorance id wish to be reasured that your condition won't affect play and if so how.
I'm sure others wouldn't be put off either but fab is fickle and a lot of folk on here wish to play With their dream playmates. Xxx
not really just visually "
I would be scared of knockin it off or hurting you but I've had no experience of them so that's my excuse. Xxx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I've met someone with an ileostomy bag, and I'm sure others have too.
It's about the person and the connection. Those that are put off when you tell them aren't the meets for you. Those that still want to talk you are the ones you should concentrate on.
Just as with all the other factors we can't change, personal preference on here will be the decider anyway.
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"I've met someone with an ileostomy bag, and I'm sure others have too.
It's about the person and the connection. Those that are put off when you tell them aren't the meets for you. Those that still want to talk you are the ones you should concentrate on.
Just as with all the other factors we can't change, personal preference on here will be the decider anyway.
"
thank you |
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