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Feeling guilty....
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So I have started applying for jobs, so as I can return to work, but I can't help but feel guilty  my reasons for this, well I had a career, then decided to have babies( 3 of) then took a break to stay home with them, we made a family decision that it worked well and I should stay home until smallest little person starts high school,
But, I'm going a little stir crazy at home now, smallest little person starts next September at high school, so I've decided to change the plan and go back to work early, I'm excited, yet feel so guilty, I need and want to be here for all of my small people but is it time to be me again  I respect that others have had to return straight back to work but if you didn't, how was it when you finally went back? Mrs blue eyes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didnt have to go back but I choose too. I love it.
My little peeps mean the world to me but because I work I am able to provide a better life for them.
Just make sure that you spend your free time with them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally understand where you are coming from but you've been a mum to your children and been there for them. And going back to work isn't going to mean you won't continue to be there for them. Good on you for wanting to do something for yourself
Good luck OP
Kinky  |
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"Totally understand where you are coming from but you've been a mum to your children and been there for them. And going back to work isn't going to mean you won't continue to be there for them. Good on you for wanting to do something for yourself
Good luck OP
Kinky "
. Aww Thankyou, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I worked from home childminding when my kids were little as i wanted to spend all the time with them. I loved it. I returned to work full time when youngest finished school. I am now looking to reduce my hours as grand children come along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a 3 year old that will be starting school next September. Whilst I obviously love her, and currently work part time, I cant wait until I can work more.
The guilt though, when she has a cold and wants a Snuggle, and we still have to go to work and Pre-school |
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"I worked from home childminding when my kids were little as i wanted to spend all the time with them. I loved it. I returned to work full time when youngest finished school. I am now looking to reduce my hours as grand children come along "
. Aww that's lovely, and at least you can give them back |
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Wow and I thought I was doing well not working until my kids were halfway through primary!
You can be there for your kids and do things for yourself too. I think it gets to a point where it's good for the kids as well to see you go to work.
(Mine certainly complained when I didn't have to go to work and they have to go to school! I'm not sure who they think cooks, cleans and does the paperwork, maybe some magical fairy?) |
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"I have a 3 year old that will be starting school next September. Whilst I obviously love her, and currently work part time, I cant wait until I can work more.
The guilt though, when she has a cold and wants a Snuggle, and we still have to go to work and Pre-school "
. I know this is where I worry, so at the minute, I'm here 24/7, so if they need me to pick them up early as they are poorly or to pop their footy boots to school as they forgot, but I might not be able to do those things |
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"Wow and I thought I was doing well not working until my kids were halfway through primary!
You can be there for your kids and do things for yourself too. I think it gets to a point where it's good for the kids as well to see you go to work.
(Mine certainly complained when I didn't have to go to work and they have to go to school! I'm not sure who they think cooks, cleans and does the paperwork, maybe some magical fairy?)"
you know, you're right, I have been wondering lately, that it might be good for them to see me go to work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a 3 year old that will be starting school next September. Whilst I obviously love her, and currently work part time, I cant wait until I can work more.
The guilt though, when she has a cold and wants a Snuggle, and we still have to go to work and Pre-school . I know this is where I worry, so at the minute, I'm here 24/7, so if they need me to pick them up early as they are poorly or to pop their footy boots to school as they forgot, but I might not be able to do those things "
They sound like very lucky children - most folks don't seem to have that luxury.
I certainly made a choice Not to go full time until she starts primary, and there have been financial and career implications but I thought it was the best thing for her x |
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"Can you work school hours?"
. Mostly, I think I might have to work the odd day a little later, which is my biggest worry, as apart from their after school diary  lol, they are always busy, we do have a homework policy of homework straight after school so as no homework weekends, we may struggle with this if I'm home late and they need help, but I think we'll get it done, I'm more worried about missing my smallest persons daytime stuff, assemblies etc, as the other two will always have had me at them |
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"I have a 3 year old that will be starting school next September. Whilst I obviously love her, and currently work part time, I cant wait until I can work more.
The guilt though, when she has a cold and wants a Snuggle, and we still have to go to work and Pre-school . I know this is where I worry, so at the minute, I'm here 24/7, so if they need me to pick them up early as they are poorly or to pop their footy boots to school as they forgot, but I might not be able to do those things
They sound like very lucky children - most folks don't seem to have that luxury.
I certainly made a choice Not to go full time until she starts primary, and there have been financial and career implications but I thought it was the best thing for her x"
. I know, it has been a luxury, although my hubby works super hard for us to have it, we made the decision between us and it has worked wonderfully, I did give up a career but have loved being here with them, we like you have just done what's been best for us, it's a toughie though now, but I suppose it's change and change is scary, I'm sure it'll be fine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I worked from home childminding when my kids were little as i wanted to spend all the time with them. I loved it. I returned to work full time when youngest finished school. I am now looking to reduce my hours as grand children come along . Aww that's lovely, and at least you can give them back"
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow and I thought I was doing well not working until my kids were halfway through primary!
You can be there for your kids and do things for yourself too. I think it gets to a point where it's good for the kids as well to see you go to work.
(Mine certainly complained when I didn't have to go to work and they have to go to school! I'm not sure who they think cooks, cleans and does the paperwork, maybe some magical fairy?)"
I worked at home. |
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"I suppose it's change and change is scary, I'm sure it'll be fine "
It will Mrs BE. We're at the other end of Secondary school.
Mrs ddc went back to work part-time when ours went to school. At first I managed to leave work early one day a week, so that one of us was always there for them at ½ 3, but eventually my employer decided parental leave was only for women, so I left to become self-employed.
Any normal employer will understand the responsibilities of being a parent, and will be flexible should emergencies ever occur, so that side won't be a problem. And the kids will revel in their new-found freedoms. Plus think of the new weekly, monthly and annual family treats you'll be able to afford
Good luck
Mr ddc |
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"I suppose it's change and change is scary, I'm sure it'll be fine
It will Mrs BE. We're at the other end of Secondary school.
Mrs ddc went back to work part-time when ours went to school. At first I managed to leave work early one day a week, so that one of us was always there for them at ½ 3, but eventually my employer decided parental leave was only for women, so I left to become self-employed.
Any normal employer will understand the responsibilities of being a parent, and will be flexible should emergencies ever occur, so that side won't be a problem. And the kids will revel in their new-found freedoms. Plus think of the new weekly, monthly and annual family treats you'll be able to afford
Good luck
Mr ddc"
. Aww thanks mr ddc, you are right on every level it's all very exciting, I told them yesterday and they are all very happy with the idea, it brought about many giggles, and much talk of how they want to help out we are so very lucky, they are all so good Mrs blue eyes |
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"they are all very happy with the idea, it brought about many giggles, and much talk of how they want to help out "
Quick! Cash in on that idea while you can!
We had ours help by cooking one meal a week. Initially it was something they they just put in the oven, with tinned new potatoes and frozen veg, but now they both do one proper meal a week each, from scratch. (I'm sure once they get to Uni they'll still resort to Pot Noodles & baked beans, but at least they *know* how to cook properly. )
Don't forget to keep us all updated on the jobhunting too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you work school hours?. Mostly, I think I might have to work the odd day a little later, which is my biggest worry, as apart from their after school diary lol, they are always busy, we do have a homework policy of homework straight after school so as no homework weekends, we may struggle with this if I'm home late and they need help, but I think we'll get it done, I'm more worried about missing my smallest persons daytime stuff, assemblies etc, as the other two will always have had me at them "
when I was married to my kids dad, he stayed at home and I went to work but I was very lucky that I still got to attend most things all my kids did, I think the only thing I missed was the odd sports day here and there. But they accept it that you have to work, kids do generally understand I don't think your youngest would ever feel like you have deserted him/her
However, now they are all in secondary and I live 50 miles away from them (it was decided they would stay with their dad as he 'raised' them and two are autistic so routines didn't have to change), my youngest is getting the raw end of the deal now, I attended everything my other two did at secondary and their father has attended one thing yet for our youngest (unfortunately I can't get time off work like I used to and keep driving back and forth for school things, breaks my heart) and I worry the youngest feels a bit sad about it all. (I'm hopeful one day they will want to live with me).
G x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you work school hours?. Mostly, I think I might have to work the odd day a little later, which is my biggest worry, as apart from their after school diary lol, they are always busy, we do have a homework policy of homework straight after school so as no homework weekends, we may struggle with this if I'm home late and they need help, but I think we'll get it done, I'm more worried about missing my smallest persons daytime stuff, assemblies etc, as the other two will always have had me at them
when I was married to my kids dad, he stayed at home and I went to work but I was very lucky that I still got to attend most things all my kids did, I think the only thing I missed was the odd sports day here and there. But they accept it that you have to work, kids do generally understand I don't think your youngest would ever feel like you have deserted him/her
However, now they are all in secondary and I live 50 miles away from them (it was decided they would stay with their dad as he 'raised' them and two are autistic so routines didn't have to change), my youngest is getting the raw end of the deal now, I attended everything my other two did at secondary and their father has attended one thing yet for our youngest (unfortunately I can't get time off work like I used to and keep driving back and forth for school things, breaks my heart) and I worry the youngest feels a bit sad about it all. (I'm hopeful one day they will want to live with me).
G x"
*hasnt attended |
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I had to go back when mine were both babies under 6 months. I would have loved to stay home or work part time.
Do not feel guilty - your children have been so, so lucky to have you at home for this long - I'm on my 3rd week of being home sick & apart from feeling rubbish have loved being here for the boys (although next week is half term!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found it really hard going back to work and like you i waited until my youngest started school it was best all round though
and these days i look after two of my grandkids so my daughter can work
so it will all work out Op x |
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"they are all very happy with the idea, it brought about many giggles, and much talk of how they want to help out
Quick! Cash in on that idea while you can!
We had ours help by cooking one meal a week. Initially it was something they they just put in the oven, with tinned new potatoes and frozen veg, but now they both do one proper meal a week each, from scratch. (I'm sure once they get to Uni they'll still resort to Pot Noodles & baked beans, but at least they *know* how to cook properly. )
Don't forget to keep us all updated on the jobhunting too.
"
. I shall mr ddc, Thankyou, have applied to retrain, so it'll be on the job training |
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"Can you work school hours?. Mostly, I think I might have to work the odd day a little later, which is my biggest worry, as apart from their after school diary lol, they are always busy, we do have a homework policy of homework straight after school so as no homework weekends, we may struggle with this if I'm home late and they need help, but I think we'll get it done, I'm more worried about missing my smallest persons daytime stuff, assemblies etc, as the other two will always have had me at them
when I was married to my kids dad, he stayed at home and I went to work but I was very lucky that I still got to attend most things all my kids did, I think the only thing I missed was the odd sports day here and there. But they accept it that you have to work, kids do generally understand I don't think your youngest would ever feel like you have deserted him/her
However, now they are all in secondary and I live 50 miles away from them (it was decided they would stay with their dad as he 'raised' them and two are autistic so routines didn't have to change), my youngest is getting the raw end of the deal now, I attended everything my other two did at secondary and their father has attended one thing yet for our youngest (unfortunately I can't get time off work like I used to and keep driving back and forth for school things, breaks my heart) and I worry the youngest feels a bit sad about it all. (I'm hopeful one day they will want to live with me).
G x
*hasnt attended "
. Aww, that's so hard for you, I hope it works out for you, sending hugsxxx |
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"I had to go back when mine were both babies under 6 months. I would have loved to stay home or work part time.
Do not feel guilty - your children have been so, so lucky to have you at home for this long - I'm on my 3rd week of being home sick & apart from feeling rubbish have loved being here for the boys (although next week is half term!!)"
. Aww, thanks jg, didn't realise you'd been off poorly, it's tough all round for you at the minute,sending hugsxxxx |
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"I found it really hard going back to work and like you i waited until my youngest started school it was best all round though
and these days i look after two of my grandkids so my daughter can work
so it will all work out Op x"
. I think it's lovely that you help out foxy, and it's great to hear that it's worked out well xxx |
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