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Do people enter your life for a reason
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Over the last few weeks I have been chatting with a wonderful member from here. It started off as most things do on here, fully flirtatious and very filthy, after a short time we met and hung out for a day and at the end of it had some fun in the woods.
That was all great fun, but it was actually the conversations we had away from bed antics and naughtiness that have mattered the most to me.
Today we decided that our paths were forking in different directions, but I feel that she came into my life at a point where her philosophy and outlook on life were exactly what I needed to reflect on my own life and step forward in a better more fulfilled footing.
I wonder if anyone else has been lucky enough to make such a passing acquainance through Fab.
She really has restored my belief in people but also in myself, oh and she was a super hottie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Without wishing to engage in a deep and considered debate about whether some master plan is at work and fate is something more than odds based happenstance I reckon enjoying a good fuck makes anyone feel better about life.
Yep shallow as fuck,,,, that's me....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Without wishing to engage in a deep and considered debate about whether some master plan is at work and fate is something more than odds based happenstance I reckon enjoying a good fuck makes anyone feel better about life.
Yep shallow as fuck,,,, that's me.... "
I often extol the virtues of a good fuck to cheer people up, I don't think it's that shallow if I'm honest. A good fuck can be a great way to take your mind off of something.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without wishing to engage in a deep and considered debate about whether some master plan is at work and fate is something more than odds based happenstance I reckon enjoying a good fuck makes anyone feel better about life.
Yep shallow as fuck,,,, that's me....
I often extol the virtues of a good fuck to cheer people up, I don't think it's that shallow if I'm honest. A good fuck can be a great way to take your mind off of something. "
I hear what you say....... although the last time anyone was balls-deep in my hoop, I couldn't help thinking about re-painting the skirting boards in the hallway...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In some ways I think that yes that can be the case, I also think that it can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you look for the good in people then you will find it, conversely if you look for the bad you will find that too. In the past I've had (non sexual) chance encounters that have reaffirmed my faith in people. These days though I like to think that I'm being the change that I want to see, positivity and happiness are the method of journey not the goal
Beard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i don't think they do. it's more to do with opportunity and not fate.
hate it when we believe things happen because of fate, or karma, or such other mystical beliefs. because it doesn't give credit to people who have worked for what they want, it allows undesirable people to get away with things because of their circumstances which were opportunital.
no, things happen because you were in the circumstances that allowed them to happen.
magic doesn't exist. *sad face* |
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I don't know I do question why I attract certain people and it all goes tits up but I often question is it how I see myself that attracts certain types...I can't answer whether the last person that entered my life for a reason but I thought what was being said was real and if I was to learn a pretty shitty lesson was that actions speak louder than words  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In some ways I think that yes that can be the case, I also think that it can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you look for the good in people then you will find it, conversely if you look for the bad you will find that too. In the past I've had (non sexual) chance encounters that have reaffirmed my faith in people. These days though I like to think that I'm being the change that I want to see, positivity and happiness are the method of journey not the goal
Beard"
Very true words Beard, and something I do agree with, know thy self was something that sprung to mind reading your message.
I never used to believe in karma and fate, and I don't know that I do now, but I do like to think things happen for a reason, be they self fulfilled, or part of a bigger plan, either way it's rewarding when someone fantastic graces your life with their presence for a time and you get something from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know I do question why I attract certain people and it all goes tits up but I often question is it how I see myself that attracts certain types...I can't answer whether the last person that entered my life for a reason but I thought what was being said was real and if I was to learn a pretty shitty lesson was that actions speak louder than words "
i don't learn from experiences with other people myself. all i do is build up walls and get more paranoid.
i don't think i can change who i am fundamentally.
also learned a lot this past year coz of a bad person, don't know if i'll apply what i've learned to anything. i don't seem to be doing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't know I do question why I attract certain people and it all goes tits up but I often question is it how I see myself that attracts certain types...I can't answer whether the last person that entered my life for a reason but I thought what was being said was real and if I was to learn a pretty shitty lesson was that actions speak louder than words "
Shitty lessons are unfortunately still lessons I guess and all experiences make you stronger, even the ones that cripple you at the time.
Beard mentioned self fulfilling prophecies, I think there is some weight in that argument, but also some in fate, etc.
Who knows, maybe this thread caught your eye for a reason and you'll get something good out of it, even if just airing your feelings is the cathartic release you needed. |
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Is it fate? I'm really not sure but i do strongly believe that we learn something from everyone who enters our life. Be it something about ourselves, other people in general or something very specific.
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"Is it fate? I'm really not sure but i do strongly believe that we learn something from everyone who enters our life. Be it something about ourselves, other people in general or something very specific.
"
That some people can be utter utter cunts but they have to look at themselves in the mirror every morning I don't |
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I don't believe in pre-destiny, or anything like that.
But I do know that psychologically we are extremely aware - at an unconscious level, much more than conscious - of what it is that we need and want. Because of such massive inherent 'destiny' as well as the constant scouring of situations and people around us, we are on 'standby', ready to sieze the upon the moments, as they happen.
We've got conscious awareness of course too but much of what's driving us is unconscious - we're aware of things unconsciously before we are - if it gets there - at a conscious level.
With the many people that we encounter physically as well as via the internet, it presents multiple opportunities for things to be played out, as we'd like and be satisfied from. There are likely many 'false starts', where we start to initiate something but it doesn't really conclude, for whatever reasons. We'll likely be much more aware of those situations where things do match up and we gain a foothold, leading along our paths. We tend to be 'blind', using our perception biases, to things that don't match us or our preconceptions of the world, in addition to other results around us. And we certainly can project our own wishful thinking into situations, allowing even more distortion of the outside world and experiences.
Bit of a ramble - but we only have our own peceptions of what's going on and our lives are influenced in every moment by our earlier experiences and personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not here, but yes when someone close to me was dying, two people came into my life and helped me through the darkest days. It felt like they appeared from nowhere.
Sarah |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it fate? I'm really not sure but i do strongly believe that we learn something from everyone who enters our life. Be it something about ourselves, other people in general or something very specific.
That some people can be utter utter cunts but they have to look at themselves in the mirror every morning I don't "
Well sounds like you're better off without them |
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The first person I met off here did exactly that for me.
Hes given me great self confidence in who I am and how I feel about things.
Altough we couldn't be more than play partners I think we'll be friends for quitr some time yet
Most unexpected thing to to find on here and completely not what I was looking for tbh  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't believe in pre-destiny, or anything like that.
But I do know that psychologically we are extremely aware - at an unconscious level, much more than conscious - of what it is that we need and want. Because of such massive inherent 'destiny' as well as the constant scouring of situations and people around us, we are on 'standby', ready to sieze the upon the moments, as they happen.
We've got conscious awareness of course too but much of what's driving us is unconscious - we're aware of things unconsciously before we are - if it gets there - at a conscious level.
With the many people that we encounter physically as well as via the internet, it presents multiple opportunities for things to be played out, as we'd like and be satisfied from. There are likely many 'false starts', where we start to initiate something but it doesn't really conclude, for whatever reasons. We'll likely be much more aware of those situations where things do match up and we gain a foothold, leading along our paths. We tend to be 'blind', using our perception biases, to things that don't match us or our preconceptions of the world, in addition to other results around us. And we certainly can project our own wishful thinking into situations, allowing even more distortion of the outside world and experiences.
Bit of a ramble - but we only have our own peceptions of what's going on and our lives are influenced in every moment by our earlier experiences and personality."
Following a chat with the afore mentioned super hottie who inspired this thread, I ended up reading some of Carl Rogers theory of personality and the organismic self. And you're right, our conscious and sub conscious are both hugely aware of what we need and therefore take from situations in our past and present.
What's the saying, masters of our own destinies |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The first person I met off here did exactly that for me.
Hes given me great self confidence in who I am and how I feel about things.
Altough we couldn't be more than play partners I think we'll be friends for quitr some time yet
Most unexpected thing to to find on here and completely not what I was looking for tbh "
Precisely, you find great things when you're not looking, or lamp posts, I usually find lamp posts when I'm not looking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a love-hate relationship with fab but I have several times found timely 'serendipity' on here, so yes. "
What a great turn of phrase...
Timely serendipity
Might have to use that one, very eloquent.
And yes, I know what you mean |
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"I have a love-hate relationship with fab but I have several times found timely 'serendipity' on here, so yes.
What a great turn of phrase...
Timely serendipity
Might have to use that one, very eloquent.
And yes, I know what you mean"
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we seek meaning in all sorts of situations, as the thought that 'everything is meaningless' can be deeply depressing. Sometimes we connect random events and see patterns and imbue them with meaning when it was just randomness. Onother occasions we don't see the pattern in 'engineered' situations and fail to find the appropriate meaning. We are meaning makers and our meaning making creates our stories and histories. |
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"I think we seek meaning in all sorts of situations, as the thought that 'everything is meaningless' can be deeply depressing. Sometimes we connect random events and see patterns and imbue them with meaning when it was just randomness. Onother occasions we don't see the pattern in 'engineered' situations and fail to find the appropriate meaning. We are meaning makers and our meaning making creates our stories and histories. "
. Aww doc, I love this explanation Mrs blue eyes |
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Our lives are made up of components and everyone we meet will have contributed in some way even if it's just to sell us a cup of coffee that leads to being delayed long enough to be on the same train as the prospective love of our life. Is it fate or coincidence...who knows? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone earlier mentioned the negative people they had met in their life and how pointless those people are.
Well, just got trolled over this thread, the lesson I got from it was. Report and block, what dicks! Guess every encounter is a lesson |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone earlier mentioned the negative people they had met in their life and how pointless those people are.
Well, just got trolled over this thread, the lesson I got from it was. Report and block, what dicks! Guess every encounter is a lesson"
Breathe.
It is all grand.
Don't sweat about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we seek meaning in all sorts of situations, as the thought that 'everything is meaningless' can be deeply depressing. Sometimes we connect random events and see patterns and imbue them with meaning when it was just randomness. Onother occasions we don't see the pattern in 'engineered' situations and fail to find the appropriate meaning. We are meaning makers and our meaning making creates our stories and histories. . Aww doc, I love this explanation Mrs blue eyes"
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