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When you have a meet but there not what you hoped for
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We havent had any meets for a while after taking a break. And im (D) planning on having my first meet soon on my own and its something we havent done before as we have only had mmf in the past. Just wondering what people do when they turn up to a meet and they either dont find the person attractive or they dont click for one reason or another. how do you deal with that situation? I would feel pretty uncomfortable turning someone down and wouldnt really know how to say I didnt want to carry on the evening. The meet I have planned doesnt seem to be heading that way though and im excited about it so its not to do with this meet just a question in general xx |
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It's not usual for me to not get on with the person on the social meet, as I get a feeling for them through chatting in here first, and if that goes well, a phone chat next. As far as turning someone down, just say the words. You'll both know it's not going to happen within the first 10 minutes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x |
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"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x"
Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why generally I don't play on a first meet and do socials first, recently I have twice and both times the sex was great but they were both only meant to be socials so them or I could walk away at any time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x
Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive."
Oh yes deffinately wouldnt go ahead just because I didnt want to upset someone I just wanted to see how people would handle the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with the other posters, this is why socials are a very good idea.you can get a real feel for a person then and decide if you want to go to the next level
Beard |
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A car meet on a public car park for an initial chat .... make it clear from the start that if either of you dont find the other interesting or attractive ... you just part on good terms ... good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes and like someone said if more happend on a social then its a bonus but if it wasnt right then nothing would be expected. Excited / nervous to be going it alone haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social first. I've had socials where I haven't really wanted a second meet and I had socials where the other person/persons have wanted a second meet. I'd rather that than have a play meet first where you turn up and the spark/attraction isn't there on either side |
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"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x
Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive.
Oh yes deffinately wouldnt go ahead just because I didnt want to upset someone I just wanted to see how people would handle the situation. "
I understand. Social only first is how we handle it both parties have a get out clause that way  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yea I guess thats all you can do I would just hate to upset someone but Its part of it I suppose you either click or you dont. Hopefully this situation wont happen. And ive chatted abit to the person im planning to meet and we are having a social meet first x
Better to upset someone by politely refusing them than to insult them by having sex when you don't find them attractive.
Oh yes deffinately wouldnt go ahead just because I didnt want to upset someone I just wanted to see how people would handle the situation.
I understand. Social only first is how we handle it both parties have a get out clause that way "
Yep its common sense really haha I didnt need to ask I should just make sure when im meeting alone I have a social first and if im with W on a meet and I dont like the person he can be the one to break the bad news for me haha  |
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"We havent had any meets for a while after taking a break. And im (D) planning on having my first meet soon on my own and its something we havent done before as we have only had mmf in the past. Just wondering what people do when they turn up to a meet and they either dont find the person attractive or they dont click for one reason or another. how do you deal with that situation? I would feel pretty uncomfortable turning someone down and wouldnt really know how to say I didnt want to carry on the evening. The meet I have planned doesnt seem to be heading that way though and im excited about it so its not to do with this meet just a question in general xx"
Have a social meet first, making it clear there's no "obligation" to play. A picture, telephone conversation can only do so much. Sometimes the chemistry isn't there or they say/do something that sets of red flags/put you off.
I've dodged many a bullet having a social.
Good luck! |
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It's better to deal with it as quickly as possible - so that someone else isn't building their expectations about what is to come. Just thank them for meeting and state that you're not going to continue with the liaison. It's unreasonable for someone to push you for great details upon your decision but if requested, explain that you're not interested or attracted. If it's uncomfortable then, I'd finish much quicker and leave or ask them to leave. As far as possible I like to retain good positive feelings, whilst telling them to fuck off, if they've deceived me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's better to deal with it as quickly as possible - so that someone else isn't building their expectations about what is to come. Just thank them for meeting and state that you're not going to continue with the liaison. It's unreasonable for someone to push you for great details upon your decision but if requested, explain that you're not interested or attracted. If it's uncomfortable then, I'd finish much quicker and leave or ask them to leave. As far as possible I like to retain good positive feelings, whilst telling them to fuck off, if they've deceived me."
I could deffo handle myself if things ever turned nasty typical red head and all that but I hopefully will choose my meets well and wouldnt end up with a person who may get a cob on. I would feel worse if they were really nice and i just didnt fancy them byt again a social first seems to solve all these issues. I will let everyone know how i get on cant wait hope its all i want it to be |
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