FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How long is fair to ask someone to wait?
How long is fair to ask someone to wait?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From initial contact and messaging how long is reasonable/doable for someone to wait till you meet them? "
I love your pic.
It's fair to say you could lose interest over time. I'm a strike whilst the iron is hot type of guy. So....15 mins. If we're not naked within the hour, forget it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From initial contact and messaging how long is reasonable/doable for someone to wait till you meet them? "
it wholly relies upon our location, commitments etc but from 1 hour to a year has occurred for me. |
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Our minimum is 30 minutes, our maximum? There are still plenty of people on our "to meet" list who have been there for almost two years 
Often it's all about things just happening to fall into place all at the same time.
Mr ddc |
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It took nearly 12 months to meet one person
It was just a mess of things on either side
Saying that we used to call each other most mornings and chat on the way to work so really by the time we did see each other we were good friends
It was definitely worth the wait on both sides
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
??? Well if its just a message repliy then mabey all day cos sum people work. But if its a meet then at the most 30 mins to alow for traffic. That sed if I got a meet I wood be Thar 1 hour arley lol but that's just me. |
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Tough one, I am busy person with family anf normal life.
I havr had some wait months for me- others disappear when I can't meet that day......
So I don't think there is a definitive answer.
Maybe a couple of weeks at most just to throw one out there though lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd been chatting to a guy for a couple of years and finally our calanders matched so we got to finally meet. Don't know why we waited so long tbh, hes been my best meet to date and I've been doing this a long time haha. Having chatted so long helped ease nerves and it felt like meeting an old friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, yesterday I had a first message from someone saying (in brief) "I'm in your area and want to fuck you, can you let me know within 10 minutes if you'd like to meet me or not?"
Damn - I was just a few seconds too late in replying, and probably missed out on the time of my life...
... probably.... maybe.... um... er...
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would wait, and like them to wait, as long as it seems like it's still going to happen.
I met a guy in Ireland after only a few weeks of chatting. Took quite a bit of effort on both parts but I like to meet before either of us loses the feeling that it's gonna happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
Ah, I see. Well, I would never ask someone not to sleep with anyone before they meet me. But I guess all you can do is ask and see what his answer is. Maybe he'll be happy to wait if you guys have a thing going. Then again, maybe not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
Well that's a bit different to what you originally asked! I've waited months to meet guys but never expect them to stay celibate in the meantime...because I certainly wouldn't agree to it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
Would it matter if he did have sex with someone else? That's nearly 3 months, a long time without sex.  |
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
That's commitment lol.
Wait until everyone is happy and comfortable to play. Can always meet for a social first and play later.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me
I don't think it's fair to ask anyone that tbh. "
She can ask, and she did.
By the way, I'm waiting for you.  . Honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if i'm really interested in someone i'd wait for ages (few months max probably), and i know you're only after a relationship (am guessing he knows too). i think it's not unreasonable to ask someone to only invest in you if you're considering a relationship.
i'd probably meet for a social(s) to be sure he's right for me before waiting, although i haven't always done this and idk if it was worth it or not.  |
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Generally until things match up. Life doesn't revolve around fab, I don't have kids, but I accept that kids, work, family and other things come before meets so if someone has my interest, I'll wait long as contact is maintained  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chatted to a couple in Shropshire for 6 months before meeting, and a single female for 12 months before meeting,having said that to this day we still chat and occassionally meet up. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
Ahh, this changes my answer.
I/we wouldn't ask or expect anyone not to meet or have sex while waiting for us to free.
Just because you've asked, how would you actually know if they had stuck to it, if they decided to agree of course.
To answer the OP..we don't have a set amount of time. If we really want to meet someone and them us, it happens when it happens.
If us or them, get fed up waiting, so be it. Our availability is often very limited, we're always upfront about this at the beginning. It might be weeks, months or some cases years before things fall into place. We appreciate that others have a life outside swinging too.
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It's tricky, that's a long time to go without sex for a stranger. Someone has asked me to wait a few weeks on here and I have done that, and I agree if one is talking about a relationship an 'investment' is more reasonable. But the danger with 'months' is that they might say one thing and do another, even with the best will in the world. Tricky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think whatever you're happy with is reasonable for you, whether it's reasonable for him is up to him. If you're both looking for it to be a serious relationship then there may be more willingness to wait but I would say it's probably worth meeting in person to make sure there's chemistry and it's worth it.
It's not something I'd ever agree to or want from someone else. I'd be setting myself up for a whole world of pressure and performance anxiety if I had to be the person it was worth going 3 months without sex for and that would likely kill it from the start. |
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Spend the time that you need, until you are comfortable meeting and have the free time that's mutually right. If it doesn't suit others, then they can move on. I don't have a set timing but inevitably people pushing for something that's not comfortable for me aren't going to be very reasonable partners. |
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
It's between the two of you - but I certainly wouldn't appreciate someone trying to curtail me, on the basis of never actually having met in person. There's some connection made from messaging and chatting but I don't give it much weight, compared to having had a physical meeting, which doesn't need to have any actual sex.
But, we're all unique and if this works for the two of you, then that's fine. It does seem to potentially add some pressures that could be avoidable. |
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For one I really wouldn't trust anyone when he says "yeah of course I'll wait and not have sex with anyone else" and two I wouldn't ask them to as I know damn well they wouldn't. If it's a hot guy with your required measurements in dick size he's going to be in demand |
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If it was taking so long I'd get a little suspicious if they were real or just wonnabees. Plus I feel you always have to talk to them and sometimes that excitement is lost from the initial messaging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime. "
This.  |
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"As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime.
This. "
Thought Fabswing was a swinging site. SORRY my mistake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime.
This.
Thought Fabswing was a swinging site. SORRY my mistake "
Do you want your toys back to put in your Pram? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all got things to do, having fun sometimes takes a back seat to life
so as long as both party are happy it will happen some time enjoy life "
Exactly. |
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"As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime.
This. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not like waiting for a bus
more like waiting for a bike
Is it your sole goal to be as offensive as possible?"
I wasn't calling anyone a bike it was a joke,...you honestly need thicker skin! if I was trying to as offensive as possible I'd be much worse  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not like waiting for a bus
more like waiting for a bike
Is it your sole goal to be as offensive as possible?
I wasn't calling anyone a bike it was a joke,...you honestly need thicker skin! if I was trying to as offensive as possible I'd be much worse "
Ahhhhhhhhh my skin is fine thank you and your 'joke' wasn't funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not like waiting for a bus
more like waiting for a bike
Is it your sole goal to be as offensive as possible?
I wasn't calling anyone a bike it was a joke,...you honestly need thicker skin! if I was trying to as offensive as possible I'd be much worse
Ahhhhhhhhh my skin is fine thank you and your 'joke' wasn't funny. "
but your moral high ground is  |
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
Aah tealady. You do make me smile
If he looks like your typical type of fella, it's gonna be highly unlikely. Unless he's a cuckold sub type |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime.
This.
Thought Fabswing was a swinging site. SORRY my mistake "
It's a mistake many make, assuming their way, is the only or correct way to do things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have a set waiting ? time. It just depends on my availability and similar for the person I hope to meet.
It could be the same day as the initial messages or a few weeks depending on commitments etc.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not like waiting for a bus
more like waiting for a bike
Is it your sole goal to be as offensive as possible?
I wasn't calling anyone a bike it was a joke,...you honestly need thicker skin! if I was trying to as offensive as possible I'd be much worse
Ahhhhhhhhh my skin is fine thank you and your 'joke' wasn't funny.
but your moral high ground is "
I don't insult people by pretending it's a joke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not like waiting for a bus
more like waiting for a bike
Is it your sole goal to be as offensive as possible?
I wasn't calling anyone a bike it was a joke,...you honestly need thicker skin! if I was trying to as offensive as possible I'd be much worse
Ahhhhhhhhh my skin is fine thank you and your 'joke' wasn't funny.
but your moral high ground is
I don't insult people by pretending it's a joke."
I read the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not like waiting for a bus
more like waiting for a bike
Is it your sole goal to be as offensive as possible?
I wasn't calling anyone a bike it was a joke,...you honestly need thicker skin! if I was trying to as offensive as possible I'd be much worse
Ahhhhhhhhh my skin is fine thank you and your 'joke' wasn't funny.
but your moral high ground is
I don't insult people by pretending it's a joke."
I wasn't pretending but obviously you know my intentions better than I do myself right ? NO get a grip woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've got talking to a few men recently and then looked at our diaries and realised would couldn't offer a meet for the foreseeable future. We were honest about it. Not asking them to wait though. They can do whatever they like for fun in the mean time. It's not like it's exclusive. If they leave the scene in that time it can't be helped. With multiple partners it doesn't really matter. You meet people when you can and when they can
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've
and another meet that took 2 years from first message to actually meeting to play."
You need to point your guy to this post Op. He'll see that until after Xmas is actually quicker than it could be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There a a couple on here yhat ive been talking to for a while now.
One is up north and the othe two in Ireland.
Up north 5 hours drive yeah that can happen its just a question of when I can get up there. The two in Ireland well thats a whole other story as thats not going to be cheap but it does give me a reason to bring my Ireland driving holiday forward. I just hope we do stay in touch in the meantime.
But that said ive got outgoing and unread messages that are a month old now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't tell me you are actually having sex now OP? What have I missed? "
September 11th 2014 was the last time I slept with anyone, was that army guy, have I mentioned him before He messages every 5,6 months but in June I asked him for a shag so he gave me one. Then I met another guy a week later and shagged him for a few weeks but then I didn't really fancy him and was just buzzing off my first shag after almost 2 years so that stopped in August. Looking for someone else now.
My profile does say I'm in a grumpy mood and not to approach me but he left his face and penis picture with me and he caught my eye.
I did say I like the last months of year cos of halloween and bonfire night and Xmas and that in the winter I like to stay home and fat in the warm so body isn't really in good condition during winter.
I dunno. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's taken me over a year to meet a few people but in the meantime I would never ask them not to meet anyone else, that's not NSA in my mind.
Don't be surprised if he says no OP. |
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"I did say I like the last months of year cos of halloween and bonfire night and Xmas and that in the winter I like to stay home and fat in the warm so body isn't really in good condition during winter.
I dunno."
After your explanation of how you make bareback more safe, I assumed it was linked to test results
I'd say sometimes F&S, you come across as your own worst enemy, always putting unnecessary hurdles in the way of your personal enjoyment.
(I hope that doesn't come across badly )
You are undoubtedly more sexy than you think, even with your 'winter bod', so I'd say "go for it".
Mr ddc
(Ps. I'd also worry that he'd lie regardless) |
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"I did say I like the last months of year cos of halloween and bonfire night and Xmas and that in the winter I like to stay home and fat in the warm so body isn't really in good condition during winter.
I dunno.
After your explanation of how you make bareback more safe, I assumed it was linked to test results
I'd say sometimes F&S, you come across as your own worst enemy, always putting unnecessary hurdles in the way of your personal enjoyment.
(I hope that doesn't come across badly )
You are undoubtedly more sexy than you think, even with your 'winter bod', so I'd say "go for it".
Mr ddc
(Ps. I'd also worry that he'd lie regardless)"
Yes I agree with all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't tell me you are actually having sex now OP? What have I missed?
September 11th 2014 was the last time I slept with anyone, was that army guy, have I mentioned him before He messages every 5,6 months but in June I asked him for a shag so he gave me one. Then I met another guy a week later and shagged him for a few weeks but then I didn't really fancy him and was just buzzing off my first shag after almost 2 years so that stopped in August. Looking for someone else now.
My profile does say I'm in a grumpy mood and not to approach me but he left his face and penis picture with me and he caught my eye.
I did say I like the last months of year cos of halloween and bonfire night and Xmas and that in the winter I like to stay home and fat in the warm so body isn't really in good condition during winter.
I dunno. "
Do you know what, don't over think it. If you like him then arrange something, there's always be barriers in the way if you analyse every little item.
I have hang ups about my body at times, quite a lot of the time actually. I try & think that if I do so do others & therefore the guy I'm meeting might also have some self doubt.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is take a leap of faith, what do you have to lose? |
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I've also had meets in the past that have taken from anywhere between 2 hours to around 12-18 months to actually organise. To be honest the ones that took a bit longer were usually the better ones. A few people have mentioned that getting a "feel" for someone does add a little something to a meet. But that said, sometimes spur of the moment ish, unexpected fun can be exciting too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose. "
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?"
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From initial contact and messaging how long is reasonable/doable for someone to wait till you meet them? "
I wouldn't be messaging someone forever.
There has to be a POINT to it.
I usually know within the first couple of messages (or some sort of time frame) if it's going anywhere or not.
Be it her or me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that. "
Are you asking to see a clean bill of health? He could have something dormant that didn't show in his last test. How would you know if he was telling the truth, he could say 'yeah I'll wait for you ' but doesn't.
Maybe meet for a social, have a drink & see how you get on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that.
Are you asking to see a clean bill of health? He could have something dormant that didn't show in his last test. How would you know if he was telling the truth, he could say 'yeah I'll wait for you ' but doesn't.
Maybe meet for a social, have a drink & see how you get on. "
Oh god so you can have dormant diseases that are undetectable in std tests, so an std test isn't worth the text it's written on?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me "
Oh my , I love your honesty , your sheer bloody mindedness , you are so off the wall it warms my soul !
The very antipathy of swinging , and yet determined to have what you want , and sod any level of traditional values .
Absolutely priceless , and this post has truly made my day .
Anyway , you know what I'll say so I won't bother , other than to say if it's what you want and he's happy to go along with your outrageously selfish demands , you may well have found the one ! And what's more , I truly hope he is and I mean that . For your sheer brutal honesty , knowing full well that you are asking for everything that a swinging site isn't about .
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that.
Are you asking to see a clean bill of health? He could have something dormant that didn't show in his last test. How would you know if he was telling the truth, he could say 'yeah I'll wait for you ' but doesn't.
Maybe meet for a social, have a drink & see how you get on.
Oh god so you can have dormant diseases that are undetectable in std tests, so an std test isn't worth the text it's written on?
"
It's an indication that he gets tested, so that's good
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, it's down to you to look after your own health.
Didn't mean to worry you more...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that.
Are you asking to see a clean bill of health? He could have something dormant that didn't show in his last test. How would you know if he was telling the truth, he could say 'yeah I'll wait for you ' but doesn't.
Maybe meet for a social, have a drink & see how you get on.
Oh god so you can have dormant diseases that are undetectable in std tests, so an std test isn't worth the text it's written on?
"
Good god woman you really do need to do your homework!
Herpes Type 2 is undetectable unless the sufferer is having an outbreak at the time of testing.
HIV has an incubation period that could be negative on a test and then show up 3 months later?
How do you not know this when you have the list of requirements that you do??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think in most cases there is a suitable amount of time to wait to meet someone.
In my own experience, the shortest amount of time between first message from them and us meeting in the flesh has been around 20 minutes. The longest just over a year.
That being said there's some delightful ladies and couples I've chatted to regularly for more than that and we have every intention of being gloriously naked and pleasuring each other, so that longest record will be broken at some point!
It's just a fact that real life can get in the way. I travel with work all over the UK as well as being a father and they have jobs, kids, other commitments etc too. They're not reasons in my book to disregard meeting anyone.
However asking someone not to sleep with anyone else till they met me in 3 months time? Christ no, I'd find that bloody hard and wouldn't ask any meet to do the same. I also find a woman who isn't afraid to get what she wants incredibly attractive so why would I deny her seeking her pleasure in the here and now? I'd more likely tell her to go right ahead and enjoy as much sordid delights as she saw fit in the meantime...and that when I did finally meet up with her I'd relish the naughty twinkle in her eye when she confessed how truly naughty she had been....
Before I set about making her even naughtier of course. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that.
Are you asking to see a clean bill of health? He could have something dormant that didn't show in his last test. How would you know if he was telling the truth, he could say 'yeah I'll wait for you ' but doesn't.
Maybe meet for a social, have a drink & see how you get on.
Oh god so you can have dormant diseases that are undetectable in std tests, so an std test isn't worth the text it's written on?
Good god woman you really do need to do your homework!
Herpes Type 2 is undetectable unless the sufferer is having an outbreak at the time of testing.
HIV has an incubation period that could be negative on a test and then show up 3 months later?
How do you not know this when you have the list of requirements that you do??? "
Well herpes is quite visible to the eye you'd think the sufferer would know they've had herpes, I know about the bloods having to be done 3 months or more after you've last had sex for them to show up in a test. That's why I say 3 months clean.
I'm not looking for a one off though, I'm sure most people that get in relationships have to go through the same shit before they start sleeping with each other without protection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wanted him to wait till after Xmas but not sleep with anyone else before me
Would it matter if he did have sex with someone else? That's nearly 3 months, a long time without sex. "
3 months? Child's play |
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Herpes is NOT visible to the eye, when it's dormant.
Cold sores are a type of herpes, and you wouldn't know about that unless they've erupted
Are you going to exclude kissing just in case someone may or may not be carrying that ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Herpes is NOT visible to the eye, when it's dormant.
Cold sores are a type of herpes, and you wouldn't know about that unless they've erupted
Are you going to exclude kissing just in case someone may or may not be carrying that ?"
Yeah but they'd know if they'd had herpes, it would have been visible at one point, they would have seemed treatment and been given whatever advice it is that comes with it.
Right so are you saying before every relationship you've ever got into you have your little clipboard of questions and say right have you kissed anyone in x amount of months, have you had this have you had that.
Right I ask any potential guy and there hasn't been many in the last 7 years if he's been tested recently, if not I'll say that we should have a test, they've complied. They have a healthy pallor, they don't look like they've got aids or HIV, you'd think someone would know if they had any of the big ones.
I'll happy with the level of risk involved with them just having a standard std check. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without giving too much information which you know I hate cos I always like to be honest cos that's when you get the best advice, I've got something happening in December it's kind of a big deal (it involves my family)so I need to keep a clear head sort of thing.
My mood is very much up and down depending on what shit gets thrown at me which at the moment I'm getting it from a lot of angles and to meet someone now when I'm in the mood where I can go from 0 happy to 100 I'll take your head off, I'm not the best person I can be right now, so just want to be breezy breezy, not string someone along, whilst still trying to be mellow!
I could do a social so he knows I'm not fake or whatever and see if we even want to do anything else I suppose.
I can get why you don't feel like meeting at the moment; but where does him not meeting anyone else come into it? Is that for being in the clear re STD test?
Yeah him not sleeping with anyone else would just be to keep himself clean so to speak, I'm fine on that front and will keep myself untouched but it's easy for me to do that.
Are you asking to see a clean bill of health? He could have something dormant that didn't show in his last test. How would you know if he was telling the truth, he could say 'yeah I'll wait for you ' but doesn't.
Maybe meet for a social, have a drink & see how you get on.
Oh god so you can have dormant diseases that are undetectable in std tests, so an std test isn't worth the text it's written on?
Good god woman you really do need to do your homework!
Herpes Type 2 is undetectable unless the sufferer is having an outbreak at the time of testing.
HIV has an incubation period that could be negative on a test and then show up 3 months later?
How do you not know this when you have the list of requirements that you do???
Well herpes is quite visible to the eye you'd think the sufferer would know they've had herpes, I know about the bloods having to be done 3 months or more after you've last had sex for them to show up in a test. That's why I say 3 months clean.
I'm not looking for a one off though, I'm sure most people that get in relationships have to go through the same shit before they start sleeping with each other without protection. "
Yes, but you are putting the cart before the horse.
Most people start off a relationship, then have protected sex. Then If they are compatible the trust is built and testing, results and unprotected sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Right I ask any potential guy and there hasn't been many in the last 7 years if he's been tested recently, if not I'll say that we should have a test, they've complied. They have a healthy pallor, they don't look like they've got aids or HIV, you'd think someone would know if they had any of the big ones.
I'll happy with the level of risk involved with them just having a standard std check. "
I like your posts...you're blunt.
But you've seriously got to be joking here right?
You CANNOT tell just by looking at someone if they have an STD or not...
And things can be missed in tests.
Whether someone aesthetically looks "ok" doesn't mean they are, never has in general life and certainly not in sexual related things and especially not where STD's are concerned.
If a guy tells you he's had a test..well of course he's going to.
He wants to fuck you.
I have no STD's..but saying that..this is swinging and EVERY SINGLE one of us take the risk.
There are actions you can take to CONTROL it and protect yourself (an your partner) but fuck me..that risk STILL exists. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Yes, but you are putting the cart before the horse.
Most people start off a relationship, then have protected sex. Then If they are compatible the trust is built and testing, results and unprotected sex."
Does it really matter if you have the test months before or after entering a relationship, I still wanna fuck the guy, if things don't progress from that so what, no harm and he's had peace of mind from an clear bill of sexual health. Every guy I've had sex with in the last 7 years has been tested before I shagged him, I have tests after each guy for my own piece of mind and I've always been fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes, but you are putting the cart before the horse.
Most people start off a relationship, then have protected sex. Then If they are compatible the trust is built and testing, results and unprotected sex.
Does it really matter if you have the test months before or after entering a relationship, I still wanna fuck the guy, if things don't progress from that so what, no harm and he's had peace of mind from an clear bill of sexual health. Every guy I've had sex with in the last 7 years has been tested before I shagged him, I have tests after each guy for my own piece of mind and I've always been fine. "
I think you are missing my point about building trust.
Trust that someone is being truthful about their test.
Trusting that they didn't sleep with others in the interim.
How many men would go without sex on the off chance that you will be theirs in 3 months?
I suspect not many.
As someone said previously, by dictating these unreasonable demands you make it so hard for yourself. I really would like for you to find someone to love, I like your posts, your honesty, your humour, but damn girl- you make it hard for yourself! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Yes, but you are putting the cart before the horse.
Most people start off a relationship, then have protected sex. Then If they are compatible the trust is built and testing, results and unprotected sex.
Does it really matter if you have the test months before or after entering a relationship, I still wanna fuck the guy, if things don't progress from that so what, no harm and he's had peace of mind from an clear bill of sexual health. Every guy I've had sex with in the last 7 years has been tested before I shagged him, I have tests after each guy for my own piece of mind and I've always been fine.
I think you are missing my point about building trust.
Trust that someone is being truthful about their test.
Trusting that they didn't sleep with others in the interim.
How many men would go without sex on the off chance that you will be theirs in 3 months?
I suspect not many.
As someone said previously, by dictating these unreasonable demands you make it so hard for yourself. I really would like for you to find someone to love, I like your posts, your honesty, your humour, but damn girl- you make it hard for yourself!"
Yeah I see what you mean there, I'll never know by doing it this way, I've been ok so far by taking their word but I haven't slept with that many, there's only been about 5 in the last 7 years! |
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"From initial contact and messaging how long is reasonable/doable for someone to wait till you meet them? "
In the immortal words of Buzz lightyear "to infinity and beyond." or the time it takes to travel that distance and back.  |
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"As long as it takes. If they really want to meet then it'll happen. Some of the guys i chat to I've been chatting for months before meeting them. A couple of them have even been years. It's not like waiting for a bus...although with some you kinda get the impression that's exactly how they _iew it! Just because logistics and time means we can't meet it doesn't mean we can't meet others in the meantime.
This.
Thought Fabswing was a swinging site. SORRY my mistake
Do you want your toys back to put in your Pram?"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can't believe how naive the op is! People think you are amusing, i am just left "
Yeah well I've slept with 6 people in 17 years I'm not a fucking hardened swinger. I don't want to swing. If I was sleeping with a different person every week then I obviously wouldn't have this approach.
Would it make people happy if I slept with 2 or 3 guys a week but used comdoms, what about sucking bare dicks, same sort of risk isn't it, do people go through the same getting to know someone stage and asking them questions and to get tested before they stick a cock in their mouth? I don't think so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't believe how naive the op is! People think you are amusing, i am just left
Yeah well I've slept with 6 people in 17 years I'm not a fucking hardened swinger. I don't want to swing. If I was sleeping with a different person every week then I obviously wouldn't have this approach.
Would it make people happy if I slept with 2 or 3 guys a week but used comdoms, what about sucking bare dicks, same sort of risk isn't it, do people go through the same getting to know someone stage and asking them questions and to get tested before they stick a cock in their mouth? I don't think so. "
No. But i would have thought that if you wanted to bareback guys you'd have wisened up on what the risks were and know what you're exposed to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do what you like op, I bet there are loads of people on this site who don't calculate their risks at all. They just haven't got the *balls* to write it on an open forum..........even your adding up is a bit jumbled.
Having read your posts it wouldn't be a difficult decision as I'm unlikely to get laid this side of Christmas anyway...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do what you like op, I bet there are loads of people on this site who don't calculate their risks at all. They just haven't got the *balls* to write it on an open forum..........even your adding up is a bit jumbled.
Having read your posts it wouldn't be a difficult decision as I'm unlikely to get laid this side of Christmas anyway......"
Ah yes. Do what you like op. You're an attractive lady. It doesn't matter! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do what you like op, I bet there are loads of people on this site who don't calculate their risks at all. They just haven't got the *balls* to write it on an open forum..........even your adding up is a bit jumbled.
Having read your posts it wouldn't be a difficult decision as I'm unlikely to get laid this side of Christmas anyway......"
There's always divided opinion whenever anyone mentions unprotected sex, which is expected really cos the site primarily is for people to swing and have NSA sex. I don't want that so I don't abide by the same rules as everyone else.
|
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"Do what you like op, I bet there are loads of people on this site who don't calculate their risks at all. They just haven't got the *balls* to write it on an open forum..........even your adding up is a bit jumbled.
Having read your posts it wouldn't be a difficult decision as I'm unlikely to get laid this side of Christmas anyway......
There's always divided opinion whenever anyone mentions unprotected sex, which is expected really cos the site primarily is for people to swing and have NSA sex. I don't want that so I don't abide by the same rules as everyone else.
"
What's the big deal you're clearly a medical lady and even wearing a face mask, you look safe as houses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Adults in the real world regularly have sex without condoms. OP do what makes you happy. Ask the guy if he will wait for you but understand that he might lie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Adults in the real world regularly have sex without condoms. OP do what makes you happy. Ask the guy if he will wait for you but understand that he might lie. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad. "
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
OP, you've been on this particular merry-go-round before.
Why don't you meet for a social before asking for the 3 month wait? You have met some people and then they haven't ticked all the boxes in the flesh before.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits. "
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though. "
Oh and for the record. ...that was me saying it because it fits |
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"From initial contact and messaging how long is reasonable/doable for someone to wait till you meet them? "
On a few occasions I have waited up to two years. It depends on how interesting the conversation is and the degree of mutual interest .
|
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though. "
She's wearing a sexy nurse zombie outfit and has great tits, she can say whatever
Try one on.. you'd do great too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though.
She's wearing a sexy nurse zombie outfit and has great tits, she can say whatever
Try one on.. you'd do great too "
I have no desire to be a success on the forum. My fun is definitely away from here! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"On a few occasions I have waited up to two years.
Say what?....
2 years?..I've had entire real life relationships full circle in that time.  "
I've waited two years for a meet with particular people too. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"
Yes, but you are putting the cart before the horse.
Most people start off a relationship, then have protected sex. Then If they are compatible the trust is built and testing, results and unprotected sex.
Does it really matter if you have the test months before or after entering a relationship, I still wanna fuck the guy, if things don't progress from that so what, no harm and he's had peace of mind from an clear bill of sexual health. Every guy I've had sex with in the last 7 years has been tested before I shagged him, I have tests after each guy for my own piece of mind and I've always been fine. "
Yeah, but you haven't (unless I'm very much mistaken) even met this feller yet.
Perhaps date the guy for a bit and decide if you actualy want to be sleeping with him..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"From initial contact and messaging how long is reasonable/doable for someone to wait till you meet them? "
Ahhh im great at dragging my feet...i've chatted for a couple of years before meeting folk before so yeah.
I'm rarely mr instant |
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though.
She's wearing a sexy nurse zombie outfit and has great tits, she can say whatever
Try one on.. you'd do great too
I have no desire to be a success on the forum. My fun is definitely away from here! "
Fair play... each to their own |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though.
She's wearing a sexy nurse zombie outfit and has great tits, she can say whatever
Try one on.. you'd do great too
I have no desire to be a success on the forum. My fun is definitely away from here! "
I think that forum "success" means different things to different people.
I sometimes forget that people use their forum presence as a "shop window"... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though.
She's wearing a sexy nurse zombie outfit and has great tits, she can say whatever
Try one on.. you'd do great too
I have no desire to be a success on the forum. My fun is definitely away from here! "
Why do people assume that because someone uses a forum they are trying to be popular? |
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"Perfect example of a completely different response if a guy posted rather than someone most of the forum is endeared to. You're all mad.
No bollocks.
Personally, I gave my opinion irrespective of who the poster was.
She's got the entire fucking process arse-backwards.
Still like her posts though.
There is no Bullshit in it like everybody else who just says what fucking fits.
Still doesn't detract from the fact she is seriously naive. Yet others find that endearing is mind boggling. Carry on though.
She's wearing a sexy nurse zombie outfit and has great tits, she can say whatever
Try one on.. you'd do great too
I have no desire to be a success on the forum. My fun is definitely away from here!
Why do people assume that because someone uses a forum they are trying to be popular? "
People who have more fun not here use them too apparently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bare back rules!
As in, rules for bare backing or is this bare back is the tops?
"
Well it can't be the former, she's already displayed there aren't any.
She's happy though so no reason for anyone else not to be.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Bare back rules!
As in, rules for bare backing or is this bare back is the tops?
If you've got to ask you don't know
I never know with the OP.
"
It's the business the bees knees.
Now bareback rules, I stick a piece of litmus paper up the guys arse and if it turns blue I'm good to go. |
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"Bare back rules!
As in, rules for bare backing or is this bare back is the tops?
If you've got to ask you don't know
I never know with the OP.
It's the business the bees knees.
Now bareback rules, I stick a piece of litmus paper up the guys arse and if it turns blue I'm good to go. "
And if it turns red no good, back to the knob factory he goes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
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