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That's so inappropriate
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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
I've just finished in a meeting with customers, one of them came out with the following -
"John and i were coming together but he pulled out at the last minute. He thought it would be safer and we could come in our own time"
I managed to stifle my laughter with a coughing fit...
Do you have examples of "innocent comments" where it's inappropriate to laugh.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few years ago I worked on a confidential thing which my boss had decided to code name Project Beaver. I've never seen so many engineers, lawyers and accountants sniggering childishly in meetings. |
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When I was working, we were all scientists; loads of scope for innuendo.
But one of the better ones was our Admin director, who was very straight laced and had a pink piggybank that she had at our meetings as a swear box.
She once said to me, when I got a bit sweary in a meeting
" now then , stop it, I have got my little pink thing out, I want you to put something big in the slot "
Meeting dissolved for 10 minutes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once in a telecon with a rep from a large Japanese company. I n the course of which he said 'i have been disgusting with my colleagues...' meaning discussing of course. I had to fake a coughing fit. |
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Travel a lot for work so need to get a lot of visas.. Usual discussion amongst colleagues is whether you got 'single entry" "double entry" or "multiple entry"... I still giggle like a school kid when i hear it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to work as a PA for a large drinks company where the perfect pour was the big thing for the product....my boss was always banging on about how important it was to get good head on it....I sniggered everytime..... |
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We also had a scientist called Dave Hunt; but who insisted on being called Mike; just to make senior executives cringe .
Our Director was a very funny and feisty lady;
When we had the minister visit us; she msgaged to get "Mike Hunt " into the conversation dozens of times.
" Well minister, later we will go to the laboratory to show you the new techniques we have developed with Mike Hunt..."
"I'll introduce you to Mike Hunt later "
" We will start with a presentation on what Mike Hunt has been doing recently ..."
We were in fits all day;
The minister was looking desperately uncomfortable all day
She finished the day with a summary; the last slide went along the lines of bullet points;
"We are:
- Practical
- Energetic
- Novel
- Innovative
- Smart" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my work it tends to be more on purpose than by accident, even naming things to make the acronym sound rude. The most memorable was a something called FIST which lead to a senior member of staff coming out with "so when are these young men going to be fisted" certainly got a mixed reaction at the conference |
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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
I do love the engineering terms,
I'm quite often having to quote the thrust of the vibrators and the stroke length in inches.... But nothing is quite as good as using the word Flange to get a giggle out the engineers. |
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"In my work it tends to be more on purpose than by accident, even naming things to make the acronym sound rude. The most memorable was a something called FIST which lead to a senior member of staff coming out with "so when are these young men going to be fisted" certainly got a mixed reaction at the conference"
If it's the same FIST my guys were working on, yes, that was a deliberately rude acronym. I know the guys that started it.
And guess what? It was one of the projects that Mike Hunt ( see above) was working on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my work it tends to be more on purpose than by accident, even naming things to make the acronym sound rude. The most memorable was a something called FIST which lead to a senior member of staff coming out with "so when are these young men going to be fisted" certainly got a mixed reaction at the conference
If it's the same FIST my guys were working on, yes, that was a deliberately rude acronym. I know the guys that started it.
And guess what? It was one of the projects that Mike Hunt ( see above) was working on
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I'd hazard a guess it was the same FIST |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to work in a DIY store when I was at uni. I heard my colleague say to a customer who was complaining about something "If you come in to the store I will give you a screw" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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old neighbour makes a lot of xmas cakes for everyone, and she starts making them about August. Asked her why once and she said " I like to keep everything moist" |
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"I do love the engineering terms,
I'm quite often having to quote the thrust of the vibrators and the stroke length in inches.... But nothing is quite as good as using the word Flange to get a giggle out the engineers."
To say nothing of
Screwing
Reaming
Flange
Gusset
Penetration
Lubrication
Ring Expander
Shaft (especially when combined with Thrust) Orifice gauge
Head loss
Good lay
Knocking
Giggling pin
Butt plugs ( aero engine pressure testing)
Big end
Small end
Vibrations ( of course)
Make and female fittings ( find that in plumbing too)
Cock
Balls ( bearings)
Probe
Nipple
Crack propagation
V splitting tool
And of course for the older computer geeks there were 3.5 inch floppies and 5 inch floppies
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a chef we work all day long with double entendres and rude passing comments to each other....
Stop banging your meat
We like a good firm pair of breasts
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"Being a chef we work all day long with double entendres and rude passing comments to each other....
Stop banging your meat
We like a good firm pair of breasts
"
I am sure you whip stuff up till it's stiff ;
Squeeze lemons
Toss salad
Pull your pork
And make sure the juices are running clear
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In an office I was in once someone needed to get into the locked desk drawer of a girl who was off on the sick cue the following exchange
How do you get into Susie's drawers?
Try asking her out for a drink! |
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When I was working in an office in the US;
I had to remember that I should ask my female colleagues if they had an eraser, not a rubber.
And not to say I was going for, or needed, a fag. Or was having a fag outside .  |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
I needed some files transferred so took a memory stick to a colleague, who saw it and said "I haven't seen one that small before."
Once we'd all calmed down, she asked if it would still fit in her slot. |
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A manager at work was talking about her son who was supposedly trying to be a vegetarian, but kept putting sausages in his mouth.
We were at the wake of another colleague at the time which made it even more inappropriate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Those who have young kids will know that that embarrassment in public can be a general occurrence, due to their innocent but highly innaprorpiate comments.
One of my worst ones was being sat at the very busy opticians with my then 4 year old and she suddenly points and shouts at the top of her voice:
"Dad! Fuck glasses!"
I look at what she is pointing to.
"No darling, that's FCUK...."
I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, but to be fair, it did cause a lot of giggling from most of the people in there. |
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Nota smutty one, but at a large manufacturing company in the 80s which was quite unionised, there had been some political games going on and lots of backbiting and rumours etc so the union held a meeting and their steward said he wanted to get to the bottom of allegations made anonymously and concluded with " We are determined to identify the ALLEGATORS" - it was a serous meeting but I couldn't keep a straight face |
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