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Girls, if a man...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have been exchanging few messages with a man who desires meeting me up for a coffee, hoping it could lead further. I have been very clear on the fact that I am not looking for just a fuck.
I am quite chubby/fat/big, whatever adjective you would like to choose. (Size16/18)
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i had very regular meets (few times a week) with a guy who only had slim/young women on his profile.
i'm not as big as you but i'm not young or slim and i didn't seem to be his type either. i didn't really think about anything, he wanted to meet me and i wanted to meet him, it just turned into something regular. the only thing he's ever complained about is me being hairy now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you're normal for you, don't worry about it.
this is something new for you maybe? so it's a learning experience and sometimes they can be scary or make you worry you're not doing it 'right'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you asked him why he is wanting to meet you if smaller sized women are his preference? I'd be wary and would want to establish his motives prior to even a social meet. I wouldn't want to risk being rejected or worse ridiculed and shot down because of my size |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes you're normal,, and I would feel the same way as you do .
However , we have met lots of gym fit guys who have only met slim women , and had great meets with them .
So , a bit of a paradox , and it's only you that can make the call . The one thing I would say is that you shouldn't go into a meet with low self esteem . Be confident , assured and respect yourself . This is way more important than your figure , which may well be what he's looking for anyway .
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been exchanging few messages with a man who desires meeting me up for a coffee, hoping it could lead further. I have been very clear on the fact that I am not looking for just a fuck.
I am quite chubby/fat/big, whatever adjective you would like to choose. (Size16/18)
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
"
You are very normal and I think from what Iv read on forums before you are not the only one who thinks like this, but it is only your decision you will or should listen to when it comes to the crunch. I always say follow your instincts and you can go far wrong. All the best  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've got on ok in the messages and he's seen your pictures, so he knows what you look like.
Every meet is a risk, but I'd feel it's worth going for.
There's not many female wheelchair users here, so not many men have a verification from one, but I still risk meeting if I feel there's a connection
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
People can only go by your profile to start with, if you are clear what you are seeking and your size, guys can make an informed choice.
From there you can determine their intent and interest.
Ask outright if you are unsure if size may be an issue.
Then go with your gut. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you asked him why he is wanting to meet you if smaller sized women are his preference? I'd be wary and would want to establish his motives prior to even a social meet. I wouldn't want to risk being rejected or worse ridiculed and shot down because of my size"
It seems that my big tits are appealing to him. |
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Op your profile is rather lacking in clues as to what you want so I hope the messsges have been full and frank as otherwise you could end up being disappointed and that has nothing to do with what size you are more to do with the fact if I was looking at meeting you I wouldn't have a clue what you wanted so could approach it from completely the wrong way - good luck though it's not what size you are it's are you happy in your body and fun to be with x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My profile isn't the matter there.
We have been messaging, talk about what we want or don't.
However I am not dellusional and I know peple have preferences.
I just don't want to be his 2nd choice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you asked him why he is wanting to meet you if smaller sized women are his preference? I'd be wary and would want to establish his motives prior to even a social meet. I wouldn't want to risk being rejected or worse ridiculed and shot down because of my size
It seems that my big tits are appealing to him. "
Are those his words or yours? If they're his then do you really want to meet a person who wants to meet your tits and not you as a person? |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics |
I agree with the above that he needs to want to meet you, not just your boobs.
Are you sure that he only meets smaller women? It might be that he hasn't been verified by larger ladies but he may still meet them.
I would hope that he would be interested in your personality as well as you as a whole package, and sexy comes in any size and any packaging, it's how you wear it that should count. |
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"Have you asked him why he is wanting to meet you if smaller sized women are his preference? I'd be wary and would want to establish his motives prior to even a social meet. I wouldn't want to risk being rejected or worse ridiculed and shot down because of my size
It seems that my big tits are appealing to him.
Are those his words or yours? If they're his then do you really want to meet a person who wants to meet your tits and not you as a person?"
Without be to rude on the profile there's not much else to see other than tits, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you asked him why he is wanting to meet you if smaller sized women are his preference? I'd be wary and would want to establish his motives prior to even a social meet. I wouldn't want to risk being rejected or worse ridiculed and shot down because of my size
It seems that my big tits are appealing to him.
Are those his words or yours? If they're his then do you really want to meet a person who wants to meet your tits and not you as a person?"
 |
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I understand what you're saying in one respect,if someone messages me and has photo's of him (well a fraction of him you know how it goes) and some young chick's on 10 different photo's with 10 different women it tends to put me off somewhat. What am I the token old person to try  . Silly way of looking at it I know... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahh. Good point and I can see why you ask.
I'm attracted to a slim girl normally, because I'm slim myself.
But, I'm also attracted to faves I think are attractive. Jo (super nanny) Adele (super singer) etc, and other larger women/girls. A Woman's face trumps everything.
Even more so when they get in your head, and you can't shake it.
I hope this makes sense, I'm trying to say, body size becomes irrelevant when you fancy somebody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty sure he wants to meet you so he can have sex with you, that's normally the reason I want to meet women from fab.
Model looks/figures are great but personality and chemistry play a part too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you asked him why he is wanting to meet you if smaller sized women are his preference? I'd be wary and would want to establish his motives prior to even a social meet. I wouldn't want to risk being rejected or worse ridiculed and shot down because of my size
It seems that my big tits are appealing to him.
Are those his words or yours? If they're his then do you really want to meet a person who wants to meet your tits and not you as a person?"
If he likes her big tits , it's a start
Perhaps that's his thing , and he hasn't found it yet . So he wants to savour the boobies ?
Who knows where it may go ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone has preferences but they are not necessarily hard and fast rules. I'm sure everyone occasionally fancies something different. I don't see why there's any need to be 'wary'."
Oh I know and understand that but I don't want to feel used until their preferences show up. |
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Hi hun
I don't know if you've given him photos that indicate your beautiful figure or in conversation cone up.
I know that guys message me saying they love the steel boned corset. I will chat but do joke that it hides a multitude of sins (the jelly belly Thunder thighs and an eclipse causing arse )
Like you I'm conscious of my shape and do wonder when their previous meets are model like 
But I believe that if I've been honest even in a lighthearted way then they won't get any surprise at the social.
I also like you don't want a one off/fuck and go. .... so the coffee first is a vital tool!!
At the end of the day you are beautiful and if you don't tick their box you will tick someone else's
It's just a coffee
No stress
Smile and enjoy
Xxxxx |
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"Oh I know and understand that but I don't want to feel used until their preferences show up. "
Understood. Like several people have said above, I find personality trumps everything else. Sometimes you just fancy someone. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
You are perfectly normal to be wary I think, I would be to.
You must of spoken a lot as your profile is pretty empty.
Have the social, see how you get on and go from there. Women's intuition is a wonderful thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be a bit wary too. Meet him for the coffee and ask him what drew him to you as from his verifications you don't look like his usual type and see what he says. Maybe he only realised he prefers bigger women. Ya never know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We as a couple are a little on the cuddly side of average. When we started out we looked only for couples and singles similar but realised quickly that actually, much like age. If you find that connection with someone it really doesn't matter to us that much. To begin with it was more a confidence and comfort zone to play safe with people similar. Now we contact those we like regardless of age or size and if they say no thanks, that's life.
Go for it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think more along the lines of if you have a connection mentally then he's more than happy to meet.
I personally always go for people what ever there shape size or creed who I can connect with and who mentally stimulate me.
If you don't meet him will you always be thinking if only I'd met him? Why not meet its only a coffee after all and at least you will have a better idea of what the future may hold for you both x |
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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago
north kensington w10 |
"I have been exchanging few messages with a man who desires meeting me up for a coffee, hoping it could lead further. I have been very clear on the fact that I am not looking for just a fuck.
I am quite chubby/fat/big, whatever adjective you would like to choose. (Size16/18)
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
"
If you want more than just a fuck, maybe you need a dating site, save the time of the people messaging you as the site is hard enough already! X |
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Men (and women) can be fuckers!!
A standing winkie has no conscious!!
That said, for myself, my preference is for ladies on the petite side, but if I click with someone, then I click.
I've been with some very 'cold' petite girls, and with some red hot larger girls, I'll take red hot all day long!!
You are more than your dress size xx
No harm Ina social, trust your judgement, it seems pretty switched on x
Just my personal _iews, I don't wish to be 'attacked' by anyone please x |
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"I have been exchanging few messages with a man who desires meeting me up for a coffee, hoping it could lead further. I have been very clear on the fact that I am not looking for just a fuck.
I am quite chubby/fat/big, whatever adjective you would like to choose. (Size16/18)
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
If you want more than just a fuck, maybe you need a dating site, save the time of the people messaging you as the site is hard enough already! X "
I would imagine if someone finds it an 'effort' to message, then that's certainly the very people the OP would choose to avoid!
This site is for everyone, not just those who want a 'fuck' as you so delicately put it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, if he's messaged me then there is clearly a reason for it. Paul had never had a "big girl" before me, his ex is really slim. However if the attractions there it's there and Paul favours larger girls now. So yeah we all have insecurities but there is obviously something he likes about you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, if he's messaged me then there is clearly a reason for it. Paul had never had a "big girl" before me, his ex is really slim. However if the attractions there it's there and Paul favours larger girls now. So yeah we all have insecurities but there is obviously something he likes about you"
The point a was making before. A pretty face makes me melt. And this lady ^ is flipping gorgeous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would go, have a drink. Probably a giggle and see how it feels.
If its not settling well with you, smile, say thanks and off you go.
You dont have to have sex with him or anyone.
Dont read anything into it. Hes on here for the same reason as everyone.
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
If you want more than just a fuck, maybe you need a dating site, save the time of the people messaging you as the site is hard enough already! X "
Constructive if not vicious. Some could say conceited, I'd like to say unguided and childlike.
Maybe think before your words might me missunderstood.
It sounds like your telling somebody to fuck off, without actually saying it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
If you want more than just a fuck, maybe you need a dating site, save the time of the people messaging you as the site is hard enough already! X
Constructive if not vicious. Some could say conceited, I'd like to say unguided and childlike.
Maybe think before your words might me missunderstood.
It sounds like your telling somebody to fuck off, without actually saying it. "
I don't know that he is ....
There are people on here who don't get the NSA sex thing , and the site is full of people that embrace this .
If she wants more than that , she could very easily be misled .
He makes a fair and valid point . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be a bit wary too. Meet him for the coffee and ask him what drew him to you as from his verifications you don't look like his usual type and see what he says. Maybe he only realised he prefers bigger women. Ya never know."
He might not prefer any size women. He might like all shapes and sizes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP if he's seen recent photos of you and is aware that you are more voluptuous than his previous meets, then why are you worried? So what if they're very slender...maybe he once thought that was what he wanted, but realised they weren't and YOU have what he desires?
Don't overthink it. He's chatted to you and you get on, and he wants to meet for a coffee. If either of you find that you're not to each other's taste then no harm done - it happens all the time and is the whole point of a social meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If you want more than just a fuck, maybe you need a dating site, save the time of the people messaging you as the site is hard enough already! X
Constructive if not vicious. Some could say conceited, I'd like to say unguided and childlike.
Maybe think before your words might me missunderstood.
It sounds like your telling somebody to fuck off, without actually saying it.
I don't know that he is ....
There are people on here who don't get the NSA sex thing , and the site is full of people that embrace this .
If she wants more than that , she could very easily be misled .
He makes a fair and valid point ."
Your discription of how people may find this sight is the wrong place for what people might be looking for is a little more sensitive, it reads better.
This post was about the op feeling she might not fit somebody's type.
Me? I told her I'd turn up.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you were a size 10...would you be questioning his intentions?.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he wants to get a hold of you. It's not about second best, he wants to fuck, not elope.
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By *aysmitMan
over a year ago
walsall |
"If you were a size 10...would you be questioning his intentions?.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he wants to get a hold of you. It's not about second best, he wants to fuck, not elope.
"
Toatally agree xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you were a size 10...would you be questioning his intentions?.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he wants to get a hold of you. It's not about second best, he wants to fuck, not elope.
"
But she's not looking for just a fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you thought he may actaully like you as a person? you have caught him with your messages most likely, it does all start in the mind....as for your confidence....well it sounds like it could be a nice boost knowing you can compete with what 'you/media' percieve as prettier girls...but thats just in your mind.....sounds like the biggest problem for you is....well you!
Perhaps be a little less worrying and go with your gut feelings....wish you luck although im sure you wont need it.
Mr D x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you were a size 10...would you be questioning his intentions?.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he wants to get a hold of you. It's not about second best, he wants to fuck, not elope.
But she's not looking for just a fuck."
Well why be here?. Has she not heard that Cilla Black has passed away? (r.i.p.)Bless her, maybe try Sainsburys on a Wednesday evening... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he wants to meet me (obviously after seeing a pic of me) there must be something he likes.
I like many different types of people. It seems crazy to assume that men only have very strict preferences. 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's normal to question others motives especially if you feel you don't meet their usual criteria.
Personally I would go with the flow, have a social & take it from there.
Who knows, he may not meet your criteria  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, if he's messaged me then there is clearly a reason for it. Paul had never had a "big girl" before me, his ex is really slim. However if the attractions there it's there and Paul favours larger girls now. So yeah we all have insecurities but there is obviously something he likes about you
The point a was making before. A pretty face makes me melt. And this lady ^ is flipping gorgeous. "
thank you just seen this xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I like many different types of people. It seems crazy to assume that men only have very strict preferences.
"
I'd go along with this, there's a lot more to attraction than just body size. Sometimes you can't even put your finger on why you find someone attactive, you just do.
OP : go with your gut instinct, I usually find it's right. |
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"I have been exchanging few messages with a man who desires meeting me up for a coffee, hoping it could lead further. I have been very clear on the fact that I am not looking for just a fuck.
I am quite chubby/fat/big, whatever adjective you would like to choose. (Size16/18)
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ? "
You're normal. You just need to relax. If you're questioning him the I imagine that you'll do so for most guys you meet. Meet for a coffee and take your sweet, merry time in developing things further.
Good luck! |
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"
But she's not looking for just a fuck.
Well why be here?. Has she not heard that Cilla Black has passed away? (r.i.p.)Bless her, maybe try Sainsburys on a Wednesday evening... "
I'm not looking for a fuck and go I'm here for something more. .. however more am I looking for a relationship and someones dirty sock!
We all want something different from the site
No one way is right or wrong
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By *aysmitMan
over a year ago
walsall |
"Guys have told me that women are more concerned about their size than they are. So he probably doesn't care about it but more so how well you've got on "
I agree with you & omg your bum is amazing xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been exchanging few messages with a man who desires meeting me up for a coffee, hoping it could lead further. I have been very clear on the fact that I am not looking for just a fuck.
I am quite chubby/fat/big, whatever adjective you would like to choose. (Size16/18)
I lack confidence regarding my body size, even though he hasn't made any negative comments, I am worry that in that case size matters as all his verifications are from model size type of girls.
We all know that some people would say anything to get laid.
Keeping in mind that I am on the bigger side, so my question is : if a man, who only meet size 6/8 women, contacts you, would you be wary?
Would you feel inadequate somehow or afraid to not be able to meet his desires in term of how he sees a female's body?
I certainly understand that if he texts me, he is interested in me and my body.
But I can't help to question his motives beyond the fact he wants to do me.
Am I normal ?
"
Honestly? I'd feel completely inadequate. I've turned men down for this very thing. I prefer to meet men who have slept with all sizes, I'd feel too insecure that he would compare me with previous meets, or just be a little turned off by my wobbly bits, when he's encountered the 'mainstream' body beautiful. I've not met some lovely men based on my insecurities, which is a pity. I just hope you can be braver than me OP xx |
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