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Why do people....
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
write such as "no fat people"
"no black men" etc and then follow it up by then stating "we don't mean to cause offence, its just our preference"??
Whether they mean to or not they do and they are causing offence to some sections of the community.
Worse still they must know they are or they wouldn't have written the second statement.
It would be far better not to state it at all, if anyone they prefer not to meet contacts them its easy just to say no.
So what do others think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's honest to write that. More people should have honest profiles. It gives people a heads up lol......Not that everyone reads what you put on your profile anyway  It's a prefrence choice same as no men, no bi, no tvs etc...x |
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It would be better to say, prefer slim only (instead of no fat people) and not mention the racial preference because how hard can it be to just say no thanks to black or Asian folks when they message if your not attracted to them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well for one I dont like generalising people.I do get the point of people being very free to shag who they think they will fancy lol.I'm mixed race and Ive spoke with some people on cam and in chat who have these kind of statements, some say, hey I might have to change that!- I stopped drawing attention to my racial backround mainly cos I dont need to...and again ppl look at my profile and will make up tere own minds- tho I do like to point out that I'm 35 scottish and mixedblack and have been for 35 years-so I'm not just here looking for that green card etc etc pish lol
U only take offence if u let it get to u, swinging really isnt the place for taking offence at someones sexual preferences . |
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
"It would be better to say, prefer slim only (instead of no fat people) and not mention the racial preference because how hard can it be to just say no thanks to black or Asian folks when they message if your not attracted to them?"
This is our thoughts exactly.
I wonder how many people who put "no blacks" on their profiles realise they could be accused of racism? Its not easy to get out by saying 'no your not' when you have such statement for all to see, irrespective of whether you follow it up by stating its your preference. |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"It would be better to say, prefer slim only (instead of no fat people) and not mention the racial preference because how hard can it be to just say no thanks to black or Asian folks when they message if your not attracted to them?
This is our thoughts exactly.
I wonder how many people who put "no blacks" on their profiles realise they could be accused of racism? Its not easy to get out by saying 'no your not' when you have such statement for all to see, irrespective of whether you follow it up by stating its your preference."
Being accused of racism isn't the same as being a racist! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
When I have my full profile up I would rather use it to state what I do like rather than what I don't like
Reading a huge long list of we don't like this or that so don't bother messaging just puts me off
Im never going to fancy eveyone on here even if they do think they match all my preferences and vice versa
I like positive profiles that show a sense of humour and personality,I don't want to be scared off from messaging anyone incase im the wrong shade of white,have the wrong colour hair,am a year too old or young and am a pound over or under their weight preference  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All these ism's shouldn't even be mentioned when it comes to peoples sexual preferences. Racism, sexism etc has absolutely nothing to do with attraction.
Seen many profiles with "black men only" or "no white males" it would be silly to delete such a statement, as they'd been innundated with messages from white men.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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main hates are are:-
looking for professional-(id love to sit and talk about work while on a meet!)
exceptional- piss off and stop pretending ur an elitist
heavy cummers/repeaters- just be happy u had a good meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would be better to say, prefer slim only (instead of no fat people) and not mention the racial preference because how hard can it be to just say no thanks to black or Asian folks when they message if your not attracted to them?"
Absolutely - you can express a preference in a positive 'I like' way rather than a negative 'I don't like' way. In fact, by only stating what you don't like you're not actually specifying what you DO like.
Stating 'we don't like fat people' doesn't specify what body shape you actually prefer. There are more body types than just 'fat' and 'not fat'. It's just a bit general ... same as 'no blacks' ... what about Asians / Chinese / Arabs? They're not white but also not black. So are they in? Or not?
Tact and clarity goes a long way in this game. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we would rather feel able to state what we dont want , what doesnt turn us on . we are all different and its difficult enough flitering out time wasters without then becoming a time waster cos u cant say i would rather not have a women over size 16 or a short man etc etc . Its all meant to be fun without causing offence . Also having to ask for face pictures can cause offence which i feel the need to laugh at , who would possibly meet someone with out knowing what they look like !!
lolly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think sometimes it is the way things are worded as to why people take offence.
A bit of tact goes a long way, even with your own preferences."
I agree, but that still doesn’t make them, fatists, thinists, racists, sexists etc, it just makes them bloody rude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" write such as "no fat people"
"no black men" etc and then follow it up by then stating "we don't mean to cause offence, its just our preference"??
Whether they mean to or not they do and they are causing offence to some sections of the community.
Worse still they must know they are or they wouldn't have written the second statement.
It would be far better not to state it at all, if anyone they prefer not to meet contacts them its easy just to say no.
So what do others think?"
we all have prefencies that's a fact of life in here and realife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure the vast majority or people who say they don't want to meet X, Y or Z really don't wish to cause any offence however they do wish to state their preference with regard to who they will or will not meet.
Saves a lot of buggering about if you know what people actually are looking for.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I think sometimes it is the way things are worded as to why people take offence.
A bit of tact goes a long way, even with your own preferences.
I agree, but that still doesn’t make them, fatists, thinists, racists, sexists etc, it just makes them bloody rude"
I don't believe I said they were
But yes, I agree, sometimes it sounds nasty, depending on how they have worded it. |
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"main hates are are:-
looking for professional-(id love to sit and talk about work while on a meet!)
exceptional- piss off and stop pretending ur an elitist
heavy cummers/repeaters- just be happy u had a good meet"
I thought repeaters meant you could go back for a second go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think is better to post what you DO like rather than state what you dont like
but then i could be wrong what do i know  "
No you’re right, but lets all be adult here, there are some people that will still take offence if it excludes them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure the vast majority or people who say they don't want to meet X, Y or Z really don't wish to cause any offence however they do wish to state their preference with regard to who they will or will not meet.
Saves a lot of buggering about if you know what people actually are looking for.
"
its the caps that does it and wording:
no BLACKS/ASIANS/TVS/BIS/FAT
wonder in SKAT n PISH lovers get offended by not being someones preference lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think sometimes it is the way things are worded as to why people take offence.
A bit of tact goes a long way, even with your own preferences.
I agree, but that still doesn’t make them, fatists, thinists, racists, sexists etc, it just makes them bloody rude"
Agrees with this!
Does it not help ppl to know what the person the looking at doesn't like ?? and then what they do like... i thought that the profile page was a chance for everyone to express what they looking for and what they not looking for maybe i thought wrong!!
Personal preferance is just that be it rude or not be it wrong or write its a personal preference and its simple if you dont like there profile or the way they worded it move on find one ya do like !!!
No offense intended btw  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a BIG woman I prefer to know they don't like my "type".
If your on these sites you have to grow thicker skin or so I have learnt.
I don't take offense just think plenty more fish in the sea.
What we could do with is better filters like some other sites, stops people wasting so much time messaging the wrong people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also the way in which people put things helps decide if they are worth meeting
Your never going to make everyone happy
I get rejected so know what is like.
I have to reject a lot of people I always try to do it nicely but some people are always going to take offence.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Preference is one thing and it is completely acceptable to state what your preferences are but rudeness is another. I once saw on a profile, "no fatties, we dont want blubber shaking around". Now that is not stating a preference, that is ignorance.
But, I am a great believer in letting people put what they like on their profiles - because it gives an insight into the type of people they are. People who state things like this are rude and show lack of integrity and maturity and I prefer to meet someone who has none of those qualities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i,m not looking for monkeys,mooses or gooses
does that make me an animal racist lol
"
No... Makes you a zoophile (sp)... For all the animals you do want.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that you should be able to state your preferences.. but after having lots of nasty messages we took our things like that off..
had quite a few calling me a racist bitch.. which simply wasnt true.. I just do not find none white men sexually attractive..
A bigot.. because we wouldnt meet bi or bi curious men...
TOld that we werent swingers because we were looking for single men
TOld I was helping wreck homes because I had stated that I was not bothered if you the man was playing away.. as long as it was drama free with us..
So I took it off.. now I just refuse on the same grounds.. but it offends less people..
But I do think that its not offensive, just stating personal preference..
For instance... if we look at a profile and its states no bigger ladies, or up to a size 14 only, then I read no further.. I see it as no different from sexual preference or age preference.
katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that you should be able to state your preferences.. but after having lots of nasty messages we took our things like that off..
had quite a few calling me a racist bitch.. which simply wasnt true.. I just do not find none white men sexually attractive..
A bigot.. because we wouldnt meet bi or bi curious men...
TOld that we werent swingers because we were looking for single men
TOld I was helping wreck homes because I had stated that I was not bothered if you the man was playing away.. as long as it was drama free with us..
So I took it off.. now I just refuse on the same grounds.. but it offends less people..
But I do think that its not offensive, just stating personal preference..
For instance... if we look at a profile and its states no bigger ladies, or up to a size 14 only, then I read no further.. I see it as no different from sexual preference or age preference.
katie. x"
all agreed I dont think ur sexual preferences give an indication how u think of ppl in another way...however some profiles really do sound like its a statement that should be shouted so obviously that it looks like they wanna cause offence. i find it a bit easier to read, we "we really prefer to meet white men","or we only meet white men" etc etc.
only people i think I might offend on my profiles is NO FAKES lol....but do they really care lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would be better to say, prefer slim only (instead of no fat people) and not mention the racial preference because how hard can it be to just say no thanks to black or Asian folks when they message if your not attracted to them?
This is our thoughts exactly.
I wonder how many people who put "no blacks" on their profiles realise they could be accused of racism? Its not easy to get out by saying 'no your not' when you have such statement for all to see, irrespective of whether you follow it up by stating its your preference."
I don't see how saying "no blacks" as racists. Stating "no blacks because they're dirty third world apes" is a different matter!
Someone stating no bbws or fat people doesn't offend me either. Those that put no ooompah loompah's just give me a boost of superiority as they obviously aren't as educated as I am because they don't have the vocabulary to state their preferences without being insulting. People not in the same "league" as me so neither party has to worry! |
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You don't understand - nobody must have any choices anymore. Political correctness demands you don't upset anybody, and if you do you're a neocon fascist and deserve punishment!
No fat people? That's fattist!
No coloured people? That's racist!
No very old or very young people? That's ageist!
No pain? That's anti-sadist!
No anal... no watersports... you get the idea.
However those of us who don't do this PC garbage will keep on stating our preferences and doing what we want, not what nannying busybodies think we should be doing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to put no people with iqs smaller than their shoe size on my profile... with my influx of recent messages are anything to go by..
I have preferences..but they are mine.. and that to me is all that matters..
Katie.x |
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By *iteskinMan
over a year ago
Cardiff/Newport/Bristol/M4 |
we dont use the word coloured any more just like the word honkeys went out of fashion a long long time ago
comprende?
"You don't understand - nobody must have any choices anymore. Political correctness demands you don't upset anybody, and if you do you're a neocon fascist and deserve punishment!
No fat people? That's fattist!
No coloured people? That's racist!
No very old or very young people? That's ageist!
No pain? That's anti-sadist!
No anal... no watersports... you get the idea.
However those of us who don't do this PC garbage will keep on stating our preferences and doing what we want, not what nannying busybodies think we should be doing.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think is better to post what you DO like rather than state what you dont like
but then i could be wrong what do i know "
Sometime quicker to say what your not looing for maybe
At the end of the day people ignore or don't read profiles and message anyway |
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we have no problem with people stating their prefences,, but just dont be rude... like someone pointed out,,,
dont want to meet bbws ok but dont write no fatties. ect,
although you never know till you try. lmao.. ive turned a few * i like skinny bints* into wow.. bbw is the best... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we have no problem with people stating their prefences,, but just dont be rude... like someone pointed out,,,
dont want to meet bbws ok but dont write no fatties. ect,
although you never know till you try. lmao.. ive turned a few * i like skinny bints* into wow.. bbw is the best... "
Yeah the would you like to pop my BBW cherry requests
Or i want to try a fat bird
Makes me laugh how people say not into larger ladies then look at bigger ladies thats BBW in my user name
I just want it to be about the fun and the way someone makes me feel
Wet and horny hoepfully |
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"we dont use the word coloured any more just like the word honkeys went out of fashion a long long time ago
comprende?
"
What you mean is YOU don't use the word anymore. We're always amused by things like this - if you listen to any of Martin Luther King's speeches, he's always talking about "the Negro race" - now that word is as vile as the other N word for some obscure reason! The best example of all is "Native American" which PC types used to describe Red Indians. Now Native American is non-PC and they have to be called 'First Nation People' - pity nobody actually asked them what they wanted to be called; they're perfectly happy with "Indian".
"Fashion is such an intolerable thing that we have to change it every 6 months" Oscar Wilde.
As we said, it's all PC rubbish. Say what you think without being rude and if anybody takes offence that's their problem.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to use my profile to help people ' themselves out', so I don't have to reject them personally. (None of us like rejection, but most of us don't like rejecting people, either).
I hope I have phrased my 'no-nos' politely, but hey! If people are judging me for being prejudiced or narrow-minded, so be it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer to use my profile to help people ' themselves out', so I don't have to reject them personally. (None of us like rejection, but most of us don't like rejecting people, either).
I hope I have phrased my 'no-nos' politely, but hey! If people are judging me for being prejudiced or narrow-minded, so be it!"
I have tried to do the same put as much in shaem it doesn't stop me having to reject people though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not polite at all on my profile- still doesn't stop 'em
yeah am shit scared to message ya....of course I'd stand up to u in person lol x"
Yeh right- shorty! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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see the OP has put wont meet smokers, then says they do - now surely that is wasting peeps time who like to smoke, because they think they might get a meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not polite at all on my profile- still doesn't stop 'em
yeah am shit scared to message ya....of course I'd stand up to u in person lol x
Yeh right- shorty! "
well at least u perved my profile, i really shoulda lied about my height and just worn frankenstein style boots....but not high heels....my legs might end up taking the attention away from ur hot pair too much!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not polite at all on my profile- still doesn't stop 'em
yeah am shit scared to message ya....of course I'd stand up to u in person lol x
Yeh right- shorty!
well at least u perved my profile, i really shoulda lied about my height and just worn frankenstein style boots....but not high heels....my legs might end up taking the attention away from ur hot pair too much!!"
I always perve profiles Feel free to wer as high a heel as you desire |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always perve profiles Feel free to wer as high a heel as you desire
Cool.Lets meet and u can lend me some, just for the night x"
Have plenty to choose from xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always perve profiles Feel free to wer as high a heel as you desire
Cool.Lets meet and u can lend me some, just for the night x
Have plenty to choose from xxxx"
ok mail me when u decide im worthy to fill ur boots...I'm a size 8 btw x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always perve profiles Feel free to wer as high a heel as you desire
Cool.Lets meet and u can lend me some, just for the night x
Have plenty to choose from xxxx
ok mail me when u decide im worthy to fill ur boots...I'm a size 8 btw x"
Done x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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personally i am honest i am not racist but dont wish to play with black men or asian so i say so if they find it to be racist or offensive then that is there problem... i have learnt in life you can only be responsible for what you say and do not for how other act or take it... so no black men no asian men and no one bigger than myself and i have the same on my couple profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"see the OP has put wont meet smokers, then says they do - now surely that is wasting peeps time who like to smoke, because they think they might get a meet?"
i/we have had the same problem so now no matter what they have on their profile i always double check in messages if they get in contact |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Isn't it better not to have your time wasted contacting people who aren't going to be interested?
Precisely "
Seconded.. although maybe it would be better to state what one DOES liek rather than what one does not.. I dont know, just thought a profile written in positive sounds maybe a bit friendlier?
Having said that I have some "donts"...
 |
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"Isn't it better not to have your time wasted contacting people who aren't going to be interested?
Precisely
Seconded.. although maybe it would be better to state what one DOES liek rather than what one does not.. I dont know, just thought a profile written in positive sounds maybe a bit friendlier?
Having said that I have some "donts"...
"
Don't offer me Champagne, you know I don't like it |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Isn't it better not to have your time wasted contacting people who aren't going to be interested?
Precisely
Seconded.. although maybe it would be better to state what one DOES liek rather than what one does not.. I dont know, just thought a profile written in positive sounds maybe a bit friendlier?
Having said that I have some "donts"...
Don't offer me Champagne, you know I don't like it"
We need to have a conversation about the meaning of "yes" and "no" and "maybe" ... your nodding was meant to mean "no"???? |
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"Isn't it better not to have your time wasted contacting people who aren't going to be interested?
Precisely
Seconded.. although maybe it would be better to state what one DOES liek rather than what one does not.. I dont know, just thought a profile written in positive sounds maybe a bit friendlier?
Having said that I have some "donts"...
Don't offer me Champagne, you know I don't like it
We need to have a conversation about the meaning of "yes" and "no" and "maybe" ... your nodding was meant to mean "no"???? "
Oh I;m confused, does no mean yes, yes mean maybe and maybe mean............somehwere between the two |
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" write such as "no fat people"
"no black men" etc and then follow it up by then stating "we don't mean to cause offence, its just our preference"??
Whether they mean to or not they do and they are causing offence to some sections of the community.
Worse still they must know they are or they wouldn't have written the second statement.
It would be far better not to state it at all, if anyone they prefer not to meet contacts them its easy just to say no.
So what do others think?"
I agree. You can word things in the positive. Which sounds better.
We are looking to meet slim white people only.
Or
NO BLACKS, ASIANS OR FATTIES.
Everybody has there personal choices and preferences but you don't have to be so negative about things.
I was reading somebodies profile the other week and it had a list of 25 things they don't want. Nothing else on the profile. It has something like (I am paraphrasing a bit()
1 No blacks or Asians
2 No fat people
3 No ugly people
4 I will not meet people with less than 5 verifications
etc
By the time I had finished reading it I thought now way would I ever message you. What if you met them and they were that negative in real life? The profile was so off putting. I know we all have our likes/dislikes and wants/does not wants but you can word things in the positive. |
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"profile says NO BLACK MEN
but the cpl/person on the profile clearly lies on a sun bed all day long to darken their skin lmao
i think some people are confused "
Lol I also found that hilarious. When I lived in London I knew a guy who was very racist. One time he came off his holidays all tanned up. He actually said to me "Look how black I am". |
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The thing that makes me laughs in profiles is the no fakes or timewasters. Do they think the fakes and timwasters on here are going to read the profile and think I will message you. Then they read the no fakes or timewasters and think on second thoughts I won't message you. |
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" write such as "no fat people"
"no black men" etc and then follow it up by then stating "we don't mean to cause offence, its just our preference"??
Whether they mean to or not they do and they are causing offence to some sections of the community.
Worse still they must know they are or they wouldn't have written the second statement.
It would be far better not to state it at all, if anyone they prefer not to meet contacts them its easy just to say no.
So what do others think?"
If people get offended by "no fat people" or "no black men" being written in a profile, then they get offended far too easily.
I wish more people would include their 'won't meet' preferences.... it saves time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is a lot about choice and personal preference
And i fa one think its perfectly acceptable ta state those choices and preferences on ya profile and make no apology for em
The thing is peeps are worried about gettin inta trouble about these things and the cause no offence thing is a way of a disclaimer if ya like
PC gone mad really now ya have ta apologise if ya dunna like summat or someone in case it offends xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing that makes me laughs in profiles is the no fakes or timewasters. Do they think the fakes and timwasters on here are going to read the profile and think I will message you. Then they read the no fakes or timewasters and think on second thoughts I won't message you. "
TRUST ME it happens to me!!!! periodic males/cpls/fems giveout mail....thats why people get so annoyed...obv uve had fuck all mail or ur getting geniuine people messaging u!!!!-I'm pretty enough experienced now to actually not give away all my details in a first message and if I get friends req, I end up mailing them if no mail back, a deletion ensues...and my face pics are always private , until I wish to send... |
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