FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do some people never reply
Why do some people never reply
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By *rduke OP Man
over a year ago
wigan |
Now I am not talking about contacts where you clearly do not meet their requirements. I am talking about those you think are looking for what you offer and still do not reply, they usually are not verified either. Any thoughts/  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I am not talking about contacts where you clearly do not meet their requirements. I am talking about those you think are looking for what you offer and still do not reply, they usually are not verified either. Any thoughts/ "
If they are not verified and you feel that is an indicator why do you bother contacting them in the first place 
The convention on here is no reply means no, as opposed to folk being rude, just take it on the chin and move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its just that when I reply in the negative its a polite but simple no thanks, I will however take on board your comments. "
We reply to every single pm we receive however we don't expect anyone to reply to ours, if they do it's a bonus and if they don't we are not disappointed.
In the morning expect the single women stasi to tell you how their mail boxes are full to brimming all the time and.................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I am not talking about contacts where you clearly do not meet their requirements. I am talking about those you think are looking for what you offer and still do not reply, they usually are not verified either. Any thoughts/ "
Because they can.
One of the couple doesn't fancy you.
He may think your bigger, better looking etc than him.
She may think, i'm not going to use that.
They are not a couple.
You haven't been a member long enough.
They only pretend to play
They only play at clubs
You have only emailed them once, the check (you may need to email 10 times for them to know your serious)
Best bit of course, move on. No one has to meet or play with anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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always try to reply even if they arent for us..........but when it looks apparent that its a cut and paste job then we ignore.....especially if its the same message we got from the person just a week before....lol
if we are sending a message we always try and make it relevant to the persons profile.....at least that shows we have at least read it!!! a lot of these "spammers" tend to go on pics alone.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I am not talking about contacts where you clearly do not meet their requirements. I am talking about those you think are looking for what you offer and still do not reply, they usually are not verified either. Any thoughts/ "
I just think its rude I never write a one line message and always try to be polite and always send a face photo. Maybe these ignorant people who never even say no thank you just enjoy the attention of lots of mails and it makes them feel wanted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to the op...if u went to a bar and started chatting a lady up, and she totally ignored you, what would u do? "
Good point! By the way isn't your hair lovely and shiny  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I am not talking about contacts where you clearly do not meet their requirements. I am talking about those you think are looking for what you offer and still do not reply, they usually are not verified either. Any thoughts/
I just think its rude I never write a one line message and always try to be polite and always send a face photo. Maybe these ignorant people who never even say no thank you just enjoy the attention of lots of mails and it makes them feel wanted."
I'm not so sure if what you are saying is strictly true, however calling people "ignorant" in the forums, isn't going to do you any favours.
people don't reply for a variety of reasons and the sooner people get to grips with the idea that a reply to their mail isn't mandatory, the better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to the op...if u went to a bar and started chatting a lady up, and she totally ignored you, what would u do? Good point! By the way isn't your hair lovely and shiny "
thanx |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
As I have said on this topic before in other places....
If someone writes to us and has clearly NOT read our profile, then they don't warrant a reply!! For instance, we have asked single guys that we don't know not to contact us, but guess what? Yep! They type in droves!!! They just get deleted.
Same goes for any mail I haven't asked for. Those that say they try to reply to all mails because it is polite, how do you find time to reply to all those marketing emails and spam mails? What about all the post you get through the door? Do you also answer that?
And before anyone says it aint the same, it is!!! It is all unsolicited mail and should just be binned!!!
(climbs down off soapbox!) |
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By *igBunnyWoman
over a year ago
My Town |
"As I have said on this topic before in other places....
If someone writes to us and has clearly NOT read our profile, then they don't warrant a reply!! For instance, we have asked single guys that we don't know not to contact us, but guess what? Yep! They type in droves!!! They just get deleted.
Same goes for any mail I haven't asked for. Those that say they try to reply to all mails because it is polite, how do you find time to reply to all those marketing emails and spam mails? What about all the post you get through the door? Do you also answer that?
And before anyone says it aint the same, it is!!! It is all unsolicited mail and should just be binned!!!
(climbs down off soapbox!)"
I like your style |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually because they're pig ignorant!!!
Manners? Most haven't a clue!"
i am extremely well mannered always have been abd always will be,
but i wont reply to anyone i aint interested in....so explain why thats bad manners??? i didnt ask for the message to be sent, so why should i reply????
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
snip
And before anyone says it aint the same, it is!!! It is all unsolicited mail and should just be binned!!!
(climbs down off soapbox!)"
Your on a swing site, guess if you got offers for double glazing, or loans, or your loft converted, then maybe  |
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I could write a huge list of the reasons I haven't replied to people. Today I think I'll share some of the lesser discussed ones...
1 - Sometimes I just can't be arsed!
2 - Replying to messages is not always my priority and if 'I' lose out because of it well that's just tough shit for me.... but I'm sure I'll live.
3 - I have a life beyond my inbox!
4 - they were munters and I couldn't be bothered to make up some diplomatic reason to fob them off.
5 - I meant to reply at a later date when I have more time - but I forgot.
6 - I still can't be arsed!
7 - I am just not in the right mood to reply after reading 20 shite messages from morons after a quick fuck.
8 - it was a shit message.
9 - what you 'think' I want and what I know I want are obviously two different things and I can't be arsed to explain why your message tells me that.
10 - I still can't be arsed!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I could write a huge list of the reasons I haven't replied to people. Today I think I'll share some of the lesser discussed ones...
1 - Sometimes I just can't be arsed!
2 - Replying to messages is not always my priority and if 'I' lose out because of it well that's just tough shit for me.... but I'm sure I'll live.
3 - I have a life beyond my inbox!
4 - they were munters and I couldn't be bothered to make up some diplomatic reason to fob them off.
5 - I meant to reply at a later date when I have more time - but I forgot.
6 - I still can't be arsed!
7 - I am just not in the right mood to reply after reading 20 shite messages from morons after a quick fuck.
8 - it was a shit message.
9 - what you 'think' I want and what I know I want are obviously two different things and I can't be arsed to explain why your message tells me that.
10 - I still can't be arsed!
"
Lol! I do make an effort to reply to those that have obviously read my profile (properly) even if they don't appeal to me. I ignore those that haven't read the profile though. |
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12 - I have already ignored 6 cut n paste messages from you - why should this one be any different.
13 - someone wrote a better message than yours and I am talking to them.
14 - you my think it was a great opening line - I think you type like a monkey.
15 - your massage doesn't match your profile and I already think you are full of shite!
16 - your profile is near enough blank and tells me naff all - you should by now guess I can't be arsed to ask you to fill in the blanks.
17 - you just didn't grab my attention.
18 - I stopped reading your message to answer my phone/msn and didn't get back to it.
19 - The last 3 messages I had just replied to sayind 'no thanks' with a brief explination why have all replied to argue about it... which just puts me off even bothering replying to yours.
20 - I just really, really, really couldn't be arsed. |
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22 - replying just encourages some people to keep messaging you.... with shite!
Todays examples:
#1
"hi babe love your profile very sexy photos fancy a chat"
*reads profile and sends reply* "Hi and thanks for getting in touch but it's a no thanks. Happy hunting. Polo"
"I dont disapoint try me"
*ffs!*
#2
"in your area soon nice hotel fancy meeting"
*reads profile (though don't know why I bothered) and sends reply* "Hi and thanks for getting in touch but it's a no thanks. Happy hunting. Polo"
"have cam to prove genuine"
*ffs!*
#3
"(long message)"
*reads profile and sends reply* "Hi and thanks for getting in touch but it's a no thanks. Happy hunting. Polo"
"(long creepy message)"
*ffs!*
Now I just can't be arsed to reply to anymore today  .... unless they are hot of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The simple answer to this query is that sadly there are a fair number of ignorant folk on here.
As some have said, it takes a minute to say "thanks but no thanks" if that happens to be the relevant reply, and it's basic common decency, but then if you don't understand the basics of social etiquette then those subtleties are going to be beyond you!! |
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"The simple answer to this query is that sadly there are a fair number of ignorant folk on here.
As some have said, it takes a minute to say "thanks but no thanks" if that happens to be the relevant reply, and it's basic common decency, but then if you don't understand the basics of social etiquette then those subtleties are going to be beyond you!!"
One day I really am going to cut and paste 95 messages to someone who posts something like this and see if they answer all of them and another batch the next day and the next and the next... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First, I think Point #4 "I have a life outside my inbox." is the very important one of them all.
And second, however bitter you sound while writing your list, It did quite make me laugh!
Gary
P.S. 696969 |
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"Now I am not talking about contacts where you clearly do not meet their requirements. I am talking about those you think are looking for what you offer and still do not reply"
Tend to find they not probably who they say they are in the first place.... else just simply rude |
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"First, I think Point #4 "I have a life outside my inbox." is the very important one of them all.
And second, however bitter you sound while writing your list, It did quite make me laugh!
Gary
P.S. 696969"
I'm not bitter.... just jaded
Well done on the ref' btw. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But you see GreyEyes, you're obviously a lady with class, you operate to a certain standard!
And if I were to contact you, and you replied "thanks but no thanks", I would, as you say, in turn reply simply saying "ok, no problem, but thanks for at least replying"!!
It takes a minute, but sadly a lot of people simply don't get it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's rather sad to see how some folk appear so desperate for some sort of acknowledgement even though that acknowledgement is of absolutely no use to them.
This internet game is dead easy and there nothing complicated in the notion that no reply means no thanks/no way/no fuckin chance or the like so why on earth would anyone EXPECT someone to confirm that in writing
Whining in any format is about as appealing as hemorrhoids and if someone is so needy as to bleat in a thread like this then it does make one wonder how demanding or precious they are in real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's rather sad to see how some folk appear so desperate for some sort of acknowledgement even though that acknowledgement is of absolutely no use to them.
This internet game is dead easy and there nothing complicated in the notion that no reply means no thanks/no way/no fuckin chance or the like so why on earth would anyone EXPECT someone to confirm that in writing
Whining in any format is about as appealing as hemorrhoids and if someone is so needy as to bleat in a thread like this then it does make one wonder how demanding or precious they are in real life. "
your reponses/views are always so simply put. absolute class........... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I rest my case!!"
You may well rest your case but I doubt you have grasped the basics which is rather sad.
The difference between us is quite simple and it goes as follows.
We do not receive tons of mail but EACH and EVERY one we get we reply to. Sometimes it will be to say yes, sometimes to say sorry but no thanks and sometimes to say have you actually read our profile?
We do not send many emails as we now like to meet in clubs however if we do send any we are mature, adult and sensible enough to accept that no reply means no.
We don't bleat and stamp our feet because we have been ignored, we don't get a trembling lip and start whining about how rude people are and we certainly don't start threads that make us look like serial moaners.
People do not reply for a variety of reasons as already stated but the bottom line here is that there is no rule or regulation that compels folk to reply and, like us most of the adults on here we fully understand and fully accept that. |
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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
"
People do not reply for a variety of reasons as already stated ."
We would agree with that, but if you think about that then why does 'no reply means no'?
We've said this before on here, we have had no reply even from couples who winked us or sent a friend request.... and on an odd occasion that we really fancied them we have messaged the same couple again some weeks later - and then gone on to meet them
Another couple on here took 6 months to answer our one and only message to them... and then replied 'would you still like to meet us' which of course we did, many times!
Sometimes no reply can mean 'they liked your profile but they were rather busy at the time and didn't get round to answering then it simply got forgot about'
And surely we are not the only ones to experience this?
As an aside - would anyone disagree with the idea of an 'auto response' button on the read mail page, where you could type in and save a 'no-but-no-thanks' message and just hit the auto-reply button when you read a message from someone you don't want to meet?
Maybe two buttons - a 'polite no thanks' and a 'f#ck off' one would suit some members even better lol
xx
j&r |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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think there is another thread on this ? as for me i dont really bother about it anymore , did bother me a little that basic good manners seemed to be lacking a bit , a no would do even a wee thanks but no thanks , i can handle that everyone knows where they stand , but then again the mail women get , tonnes and tonnes of it suppose maybe they canny be arsed reading through the whole lot ? maybe they only read the first few lines then say nah not for me ? fair do's i suppose think its just the way it is on here when it comes to that . i would like to think i put in a lot of effort with my messages but recently iv not because of this , catch 22 really u try and its not read or u dnt and they think there is no effort , but as i said i dnt think its anything personal so i dnt wrry about it too much . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd reply to anyone becauce there's very few people on fab overhere, but manners are everything to me. But i agree a simple no thanks don't cost anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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personaly i replye by saying..no wat im looking 4 soz..but if id emailed ppl 2 meet an if they read an deleted it id take that as i no thanks lol so why do ppl need a reply yea its manners but no alot like 2 say no fuck off lol tho i would i dont know some ppl eh lol tc an happy swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure if I might have said this before on a similar thread, but in my opinion, people take swinging far to seriously, they treat it as a matter of life and death as if they have no life outside of swinging and the failure of someone to reply to a message is a massive problem.
Personally swinging is a very small and insginificant part of our lives, we can take it or leave it and quite frankly if we don't get a reply to a message, we don't even give it a 2nd thought, in fact most of the time we send messages and forget who we've messaged and never even realise that we ain't had a response.
people need to sit back and look at the bigger picture - swinging is a bit of fun not the be all and end all of life and if they don't get a reply - what the heck - move on |
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If we are talking ignorance… let’s not forget the ignorance displayed by folk who say “It only takes a minute”. Your inbox may just be a tad slower at getting new messages than the inbox of someone else.
I currently have 84 unread messages in my inbox – that’s 1hr 24min of replying (using the 1 minute time scale) and that’s if I instantly reply ‘no thanks’ to all of them without reading their profile and checking the type of people they have met…. or any other information available to help me make up my mind.
But then that’s just the ‘unread’ ones… fuck knows how many read ones are still there which I just haven’t got around to going back to.
Today I have sent about a dozen or so ‘no thanks’ (3 resulting in some twatty reply) and deleted at least twice as many more because they were just one liners of no substance.
Then there are the 8 people I have replied to and started talking to… and if you think I am going to ignore these hotties to send messages to people I don’t want to meet, then your good sense and judgement is seriously dubious.
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23 – I wanted to enjoy my time online and not make it into a chore
24 – I wanted to go in the chatroom/read the forum instead
25 – I didn’t want to meet you... get over it!
26 – I was busy shagging someone I had replied to… and anyone who says they would rather be sending out “no thanks” messages than getting fucked silly is either on the wrong site or a ferkin’ liar!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"27 – I was too busy posting in threads about people who don’t reply … so it’s your own fault after all "
Do you put as much passion into the bedroom as you do on this thread?
Can it be tamed, i wonder... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyway if you reply and say at that particular time can't take it any further for what ever reason, you can go back later and say hi (which I've done) - and take it from there.............! Win win all round xx |
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"Anyway if you reply and say at that particular time can't take it any further for what ever reason, you can go back later and say hi (which I've done) - and take it from there.............! Win win all round xx"
I can think of quite a few guys and couples who I have said ‘no thanks’ to and now totally ignore by deleting their mail unread… yet like periods, once a month they make a bloody appearance!
So whatever you say makes nad-all difference. |
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"27 – I was too busy posting in threads about people who don’t reply … so it’s your own fault after all
Do you put as much passion into the bedroom as you do on this thread?
Can it be tamed, i wonder..."
Oh I'm just a pussy cat in the bedroom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"27 – I was too busy posting in threads about people who don’t reply … so it’s your own fault after all
Do you put as much passion into the bedroom as you do on this thread?
Can it be tamed, i wonder...
Oh I'm just a pussy cat in the bedroom "
ohhh i bet you are! And i'd be just the one to make you purr! |
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"27 – I was too busy posting in threads about people who don’t reply … so it’s your own fault after all
Do you put as much passion into the bedroom as you do on this thread?
Can it be tamed, i wonder...
Oh I'm just a pussy cat in the bedroom
ohhh i bet you are! And i'd be just the one to make you purr! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure if I might have said this before on a similar thread, but in my opinion, people take swinging far to seriously, they treat it as a matter of life and death as if they have no life outside of swinging and the failure of someone to reply to a message is a massive problem.
Personally swinging is a very small and insginificant part of our lives, we can take it or leave it and quite frankly if we don't get a reply to a message, we don't even give it a 2nd thought, in fact most of the time we send messages and forget who we've messaged and never even realise that we ain't had a response.
people need to sit back and look at the bigger picture - swinging is a bit of fun not the be all and end all of life and if they don't get a reply - what the heck - move on "
here here redhotcouple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind if people don't reply or even delete the message, but when you message them after they sent you a friend request and then delete the message, that is a little odd!! |
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I have seen many threads like this, and take on board all that has been said.
I don’t ‘expect’ replies but they are gratefully received, even the ‘No thanks’, and always given, which is easy as I don’t have the amazing inbox of some here it seems! LOL
But I do have one query about something that’s happened a few times and I find odd; I find a profile I like, I read it (properly), I fit all the requirements (no exclusions at all), I write a personalised massage with care, and it sits in their inbox unread.
Even when they are on the site a lot, and appear to be chatting and meeting. Never read.
I could understand being read blocked deleted ignored, but it just seems odd. Is it the system playing up? Or do they have an inbox SO full that in one night, my mail gets knocked of the bottom?
Don't expect a real answer, and I’m not going to sweat about it, but I'm mildly curious.
Any guesses anyone?
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Just wanna add that from experience some single guys don't reply on here....even when you offer them meets...:D...it's just how the world is...Even when their profile says "I reply to all messages"...Probably they got cold feet or think that it's too good to be true...:D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes as a woman you get a large number of messages. You could spend all your time answering to please every one. Or you can look for the type of men your looking for not just the ones who mail you. It would be nice if the website had a button to say.
Thanks but no not interested.
It would save all the people second messaging when you don’t reply to there Hi babes how are you messages.
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"I have seen many threads like this, and take on board all that has been said.
I don’t ‘expect’ replies but they are gratefully received, even the ‘No thanks’, and always given, which is easy as I don’t have the amazing inbox of some here it seems! LOL
But I do have one query about something that’s happened a few times and I find odd; I find a profile I like, I read it (properly), I fit all the requirements (no exclusions at all), I write a personalised massage with care, and it sits in their inbox unread.
Even when they are on the site a lot, and appear to be chatting and meeting. Never read.
I could understand being read blocked deleted ignored, but it just seems odd. Is it the system playing up? Or do they have an inbox SO full that in one night, my mail gets knocked of the bottom?
Don't expect a real answer, and I’m not going to sweat about it, but I'm mildly curious.
Any guesses anyone?
"
Well I am guilty of this one...I'm almost always logged into Fab...sometimes am here reading the forums, sometimes messaging back and forth with friends/meets/possible meets, sometimes logged in but I'm not actually here...just left the laptop on.
Sometimes my inbox gets so full I find the thought of going through all the messages a bit daunting...so they just pile up.....until there are just too many to deal with so I end up deleting a whole pile unread...some of which might have been there for days. A couple of times I've managed to completely clear my in box and for a few days make a real effort to respond to messages...but then if I'm busy...either playing or just with my life in general, the messages start piling up again....and so it goes on. |
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