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Things you'd never say
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"I love everyone.
All people are beautiful.
No thank you I don't want any more wine/chocolate/pizza/crisps etc"
LMFAO you're my favourite forumite.
For me it'd probably be:
No, thanks, I can't possibly fuck any more men today, thanks, I'm done!
Yeah, women *do* belong in the kitchen, you're right!
Sure, I'll be your sexy little geisha.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd love a bacon sandwich
Yeah, sure I'll experiment with you. You clearly know me better than I do...you pointed this out when you told me I'd love it.
No thanks Mac, I'm not in the mood |
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A huge muscular ripped hulk of a man who could pick me with one hand over his head and throw me onto the bed and pin me down and have his very wicked debauched way with me..... is not something I would ever say! (ahem ..cough..)
(Fingers crossed behind my back with my eyes closed as I blink when I lie!)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""I do" 
I did and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I wouldn't stress about it."
Just something I thought would've happened by the time I hit my thirties!
Nevermind, I've got my best mate then that's just separated after 11 months and a 28k wedding! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No sorry I can't spank you today I'm busy no I'm really really sorry it will have to wait
What you only want five orgasms yes ofcourse I'll stop at five  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why can't I get a meet.
Why do people delete messages without replying
No I don't want another cup of tea/more chocolate/more KFC
Are you baking bread in your pants
Yes come in and let's talk about accepting jesus into my heart.
No *********** I don't want to meet you. You're a minger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'red head? Not for me thanks'
'Never been a fan of chicken if I'm honest'
'I wish I'd gone vegan years ago'
'I do wish my willy would sleep once in a while'
'FFS more messages?! There just aren't enough hours in the day.....'
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No, I don't take anonymous gifts of £millions.
We should bring back capital punishment.
No, I won't try getting shagged by a cock over 12 inches.
Scientology is obviously a religion based on 100% truth and all its members are similarly heterosexual, without fail.
Everyone should just have sex within marriage or remain celibate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Barbecue?? Can't we just cook it under the grill?
Sorry I can't go to Cape Town with you. My parents have just got back from Spain and I'm gagging to see the 1500 photos they took. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, that Donald Trump fella does talk a lot of sense doesn't he? And I must say that I find that Murdoch chap has a damn fine and very informative bunch of publications. In fact, if you chuck Nigel Farage in to this mix, you'd have the most upstanding and look-uptoable people I could possibly want to be stuck in a lift with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I'd love to go clothes shopping in a very busy city centre on a Saturday".
"I can't wait for the next Fast and Furious movie".
"I detest my job!"
"wow, I'm so lucky that you insist on sharing your gym routine with me. Tell me every. fucking. detail."
Nell |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Yes I'd love to go clothes shopping in a very busy city centre on a Saturday".
"I can't wait for the next Fast and Furious movie".
"I detest my job!"
"wow, I'm so lucky that you insist on sharing your gym routine with me. Tell me every. fucking. detail."
Nell"
But do you have enough books? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No more drinks for me thanks, I'm heading home for an early night.
I shouldn't get that tattoo, I might regret it when I'm older.
Not tonight dear, I have a headache.
I love exercise.
I'm going to think carefully before I speak, so I can avoid offending people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't need more shoes/bags/lingerie.
No, I'm not keen for dancing tonight.
Grab some lube you'll need it.
Just a small one
"
miss h I think I best sleep on the couch I'm too d*unk to take advantage of you |
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"I don't need more shoes/bags/lingerie.
No, I'm not keen for dancing tonight.
Grab some lube you'll need it.
Just a small one
miss h I think I best sleep on the couch I'm too d*unk to take advantage of you"
Don;t play with fire, young man  |
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"I don't need more shoes/bags/lingerie.
No, I'm not keen for dancing tonight.
Grab some lube you'll need it.
Just a small one
miss h I think I best sleep on the couch I'm too d*unk to take advantage of you
Don;t play with fire, young man "
Sure I'll let you be in control |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Yes I'd love to go clothes shopping in a very busy city centre on a Saturday".
"I can't wait for the next Fast and Furious movie".
"I detest my job!"
"wow, I'm so lucky that you insist on sharing your gym routine with me. Tell me every. fucking. detail."
Nell
But do you have enough books?"
Oh yes, I forgot! " I'm getting rid of all my books to make space for a large collection of twee porcelain country cottages". |
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Yes those parts were cheap.
