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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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does anyone know how this works?
i was hoping to date like a few people and then eventually pick someone i really liked out of all those people but already the first person i met i like them and don't wanna see anyone else now for some reason or even chat to anybody i was talking to about a relationship before i met him, kind of panicking that i'm gonna fuck up by only investing myself in one person.
also wtf do you do as dating anyway? it's new to me (seriously). nobody i know has actually dated, including the guy i'm on about. 
help me...this is all weird and not going as i thought it would at all. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
keep it as natural feeling as possible, the second you put constraints on, it will feel contrived
I think, not having done it myself
good luck and hope you find the happiness you seek  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thanks for the good vibes and wishes View. made me laugh that you've not dated either.
i also feel like i am doing this wrong somehow, maybe coz i've never done it before so haven't a clue plus had some ideas how it goes but it's not turning out that way.
"You're going to need a best man at this rate. "
lol, i'm not getting married ever, but do you think i'm doing something wrong? appreciate some advice if i am.
before i met this guy i was interested in others but nobody else made me feel like not talking to anyone else which is how i ended up talking to him in the first place. think i'm just panicking or something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dating is basically just hanging about with each other doing stuff you both like doing. Bung in the odd kiss and a bit of hows your father and that's it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dating is basically just hanging about with each other doing stuff you both like doing. Bung in the odd kiss and a bit of hows your father and that's it "
lol, usually yeah.
my last relationship was long distance (and shit and totally not worth it), i think this has fucked up my ideas also. |
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Whats wrong with letting things take a natural course.
Theres not a set way of what to do or not to do in a dating scenaria. But personally if i was dating with a _iew to a long term relationship id be looking for certain things |
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"thanks for the good vibes and wishes View. made me laugh that you've not dated either.
i also feel like i am doing this wrong somehow, maybe coz i've never done it before so haven't a clue plus had some ideas how it goes but it's not turning out that way.
You're going to need a best man at this rate.
lol, i'm not getting married ever, but do you think i'm doing something wrong? appreciate some advice if i am.
before i met this guy i was interested in others but nobody else made me feel like not talking to anyone else which is how i ended up talking to him in the first place. think i'm just panicking or something."
well first things first, if your dating with a _iew to a long term relationship you need to be clear your never going to get married incase hes the sort of guy that would like to get married then you can both just cut your loses and go your own way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't believe the amount of people on here who say they have never dated..
I went on loads before I was married ..
They usually involved a trip to the cinema/bowling/eating out or just hanging out together and enjoying each others company .. taking things slowly and really getting to know that person..
Simples |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whats wrong with letting things take a natural course.
Theres not a set way of what to do or not to do in a dating scenaria. But personally if i was dating with a _iew to a long term relationship id be looking for certain things"
i don't know a lot about this guy yet, which is why i was expecting to carry on chatting to (and meeting) other guys still but i don't feel like doing that now and am wondering if i'm doing something wrong now or thinking wrong.
i've been in an abusive relationship before, and my last one had no violence but it made me evaluate, and work on, a lot of things about myself.
fuck it, just gonna go with the flow and if that includes panic attacks then it'll have to be that way.  |
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"I can't believe the amount of people on here who say they have never dated..
I went on loads before I was married ..u
They usually involved a trip to the cinema/bowling/eating out or just hanging out together and enjoying each others company .. taking things slowly and really getting to know that person..
Simples "
to be honest i cant believe it either
How do people ever get into a relationship without dating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dating is basically just hanging about with each other doing stuff you both like doing. Bung in the odd kiss and a bit of hows your father and that's it
lol, usually yeah.
my last relationship was long distance (and shit and totally not worth it), i think this has fucked up my ideas also."
I've never had a long distance relationship so not sure how that effects ideas...but id say that that relationship isn't this one so so it shouldn't hold too much bearing over your current interest.
Communicate with him and see where you both want to take it..find your own path through this whole dating thing do stuff that keeps you both happy x |
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"Whats wrong with letting things take a natural course.
Theres not a set way of what to do or not to do in a dating scenaria. But personally if i was dating with a _iew to a long term relationship id be looking for certain things
i don't know a lot about this guy yet, which is why i was expecting to carry on chatting to (and meeting) other guys still but i don't feel like doing that now and am wondering if i'm doing something wrong now or thinking wrong.
i've been in an abusive relationship before, and my last one had no violence but it made me evaluate, and work on, a lot of things about myself.
fuck it, just gonna go with the flow and if that includes panic attacks then it'll have to be that way. "
when you meet someone you dont know anything about them, you build up to it by getting to know them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't believe the amount of people on here who say they have never dated..
I went on loads before I was married ..
They usually involved a trip to the cinema/bowling/eating out or just hanging out together and enjoying each others company .. taking things slowly and really getting to know that person..
Simples "
if it's how christos mentioned then most of us have done that. |
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"I can't believe the amount of people on here who say they have never dated..
I went on loads before I was married ..
They usually involved a trip to the cinema/bowling/eating out or just hanging out together and enjoying each others company .. taking things slowly and really getting to know that person..
Simples
if it's how christos mentioned then most of us have done that. "
well there you go then.
What do you actually think dating means? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dating is basically just hanging about with each other doing stuff you both like doing. Bung in the odd kiss and a bit of hows your father and that's it
lol, usually yeah.
my last relationship was long distance (and shit and totally not worth it), i think this has fucked up my ideas also.
I've never had a long distance relationship so not sure how that effects ideas...but id say that that relationship isn't this one so so it shouldn't hold too much bearing over your current interest.
Communicate with him and see where you both want to take it..find your own path through this whole dating thing do stuff that keeps you both happy x "
yeah thanks.
LDR are over the internet mainly, so there is a lot of communication but also a lot of trust needed obviously, i think i was too trusting last time. also there wasn't much hanging out except on skype, and although i loved the guy it wasn't normal but i went along with it coz i thought eventually we'd be together irl.
kind of wish i hadn't asked now, i'm over thinking things and starting to think it's probably just me and i'm not normal and maybe not ready for a relationship now. |
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"Whats wrong with letting things take a natural course.
Theres not a set way of what to do or not to do in a dating scenaria. But personally if i was dating with a _iew to a long term relationship id be looking for certain things
i don't know a lot about this guy yet, which is why i was expecting to carry on chatting to (and meeting) other guys still but i don't feel like doing that now and am wondering if i'm doing something wrong now or thinking wrong.
i've been in an abusive relationship before, and my last one had no violence but it made me evaluate, and work on, a lot of things about myself.
fuck it, just gonna go with the flow and if that includes panic attacks then it'll have to be that way. "
Yeah, go with the flow - I am the same, if I like someone I lose interest in other people. I'd say run with it - I've been trawling through the dating sites for ages and it's really rare I find anyone who makes me feel like that - run with it and see where it goes, nothing to lose.
I've never done 'dating' before either; in my youth I just got into relationships - with people I already knew mostly, and only ever one at a time. I fully intend to see several people at once now if I am not sure, but mostly I know after one date they are NOT for me, so the problem never arises! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't believe the amount of people on here who say they have never dated..
I went on loads before I was married ..
They usually involved a trip to the cinema/bowling/eating out or just hanging out together and enjoying each others company .. taking things slowly and really getting to know that person..
Simples
if it's how christos mentioned then most of us have done that.
well there you go then.
What do you actually think dating means?"
idk. i've never had any money for the cinema and going out when i was younger, and everyone i know has an idea there is something that is 'dating' but like i said nobody actually has done whatever this thing was or even knows what it is...except for what christos said is what we all did but it wasn't dating really (in our heads). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dating is basically just hanging about with each other doing stuff you both like doing. Bung in the odd kiss and a bit of hows your father and that's it
lol, usually yeah.
my last relationship was long distance (and shit and totally not worth it), i think this has fucked up my ideas also.
I've never had a long distance relationship so not sure how that effects ideas...but id say that that relationship isn't this one so so it shouldn't hold too much bearing over your current interest.
Communicate with him and see where you both want to take it..find your own path through this whole dating thing do stuff that keeps you both happy x
yeah thanks.
LDR are over the internet mainly, so there is a lot of communication but also a lot of trust needed obviously, i think i was too trusting last time. also there wasn't much hanging out except on skype, and although i loved the guy it wasn't normal but i went along with it coz i thought eventually we'd be together irl.
kind of wish i hadn't asked now, i'm over thinking things and starting to think it's probably just me and i'm not normal and maybe not ready for a relationship now."
Just do the dating thing then..
You can 'date' as many people as you like without it getting confusing and messy..but in the long run you may find you have already found the one for you just by taking things slowly and not too seriously... |
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You dont need money to date, you could go for a nice walk and share a bag of chips and if you both like doing that sort of thing you will all ready know that you have similar tastes.
I was actually discussing dating with a friend the other day.
Now i can never see myself dating but if i did i could make a hell of a lot assumptions based on that first date |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whats wrong with letting things take a natural course.
Theres not a set way of what to do or not to do in a dating scenaria. But personally if i was dating with a _iew to a long term relationship id be looking for certain things
i don't know a lot about this guy yet, which is why i was expecting to carry on chatting to (and meeting) other guys still but i don't feel like doing that now and am wondering if i'm doing something wrong now or thinking wrong.
i've been in an abusive relationship before, and my last one had no violence but it made me evaluate, and work on, a lot of things about myself.
fuck it, just gonna go with the flow and if that includes panic attacks then it'll have to be that way.
Yeah, go with the flow - I am the same, if I like someone I lose interest in other people. I'd say run with it - I've been trawling through the dating sites for ages and it's really rare I find anyone who makes me feel like that - run with it and see where it goes, nothing to lose.
I've never done 'dating' before either; in my youth I just got into relationships - with people I already knew mostly, and only ever one at a time. I fully intend to see several people at once now if I am not sure, but mostly I know after one date they are NOT for me, so the problem never arises! "
glad it's not just me. i felt like this about someone a couple of months ago as well though and he turned out to be a liar/waste of time (but thinking about it, it wasn't that bad when i fucked him off for being a douche) also everything was rushed with him and this guy now is taking it a lot more slower so that's different to him for a start.
i seem to have advice overload now.
thanks to everyone who was concerned and replied and offered advice.  |
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"Whats wrong with letting things take a natural course.
Theres not a set way of what to do or not to do in a dating scenaria. But personally if i was dating with a _iew to a long term relationship id be looking for certain things
i don't know a lot about this guy yet, which is why i was expecting to carry on chatting to (and meeting) other guys still but i don't feel like doing that now and am wondering if i'm doing something wrong now or thinking wrong.
i've been in an abusive relationship before, and my last one had no violence but it made me evaluate, and work on, a lot of things about myself.
fuck it, just gonna go with the flow and if that includes panic attacks then it'll have to be that way.
Yeah, go with the flow - I am the same, if I like someone I lose interest in other people. I'd say run with it - I've been trawling through the dating sites for ages and it's really rare I find anyone who makes me feel like that - run with it and see where it goes, nothing to lose.
I've never done 'dating' before either; in my youth I just got into relationships - with people I already knew mostly, and only ever one at a time. I fully intend to see several people at once now if I am not sure, but mostly I know after one date they are NOT for me, so the problem never arises!
glad it's not just me. i felt like this about someone a couple of months ago as well though and he turned out to be a liar/waste of time (but thinking about it, it wasn't that bad when i fucked him off for being a douche) also everything was rushed with him and this guy now is taking it a lot more slower so that's different to him for a start.
i seem to have advice overload now.
thanks to everyone who was concerned and replied and offered advice. "
Taking it slow sounds promising .....enjoy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just take it slowly and have fun know one knows if we will be with that person until we get to know them"
yeah last few replies have said just that too.
i never used to be bothered about the unknown, now i know the full possibilities of who/what that includes i suppose it is scarier.
so what if i only invest in him for a while and it turns out to be for nothing, gonna go with how i feel for now. i guess people can't change fundamentally and things don't always go to plan...just gonna chill out now and stop panicking about nothing.
and dating is just seeing if someone has the potential to become something more. there's no routine to it at all and you can do it how you want.
thanks for making me think everybody. |
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"does anyone know how this works?
i was hoping to date like a few people and then eventually pick someone i really liked out of all those people but already the first person i met i like them and don't wanna see anyone else now for some reason or even chat to anybody i was talking to about a relationship before i met him, kind of panicking that i'm gonna fuck up by only investing myself in one person.
also wtf do you do as dating anyway? it's new to me (seriously). nobody i know has actually dated, including the guy i'm on about.
help me...this is all weird and not going as i thought it would at all."
Sounds like you need to try a dating site or attend more clubs with single guys!!
Good luck |
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