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Dating Standards vs Sexual Standards
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In many cases yes, I think you're right. Many people have different opinions between who they'd have sex with and who they'd date. If I only had sex with people I would date then I wouldn't meet many people from here at all.
But I also think that sites like fab are where women are in demand. There are more men looking for sex than women, so there is a power imbalance. On dating sites, I get the feeling that it's the other way around - there are more women than men, so the power is in the other direction. I've never been on a dating site, though, so it's only the sense I get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been on a dating site. If I were single and looking though, my criteria for who I would meet with a view to a future relationship would be very different. I don't want to say higher, but much narrower on things like age, location, I wouldn't consider anyone who had children, occupation/aspirations - not things that concern me when it's just sex.
It seems reasonable that it works the other way round too with men messaging women. It's not that people aren't good enough, it's that if you want a relationship with them, it's a very different set of things to consider. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have found that it's a few of things:
1. the ratio switches on dating sites;
2. the men who are serious about wanting a relationship are often considering procreating at some point. That leads to looking for younger women;
3. the men looking for sex seem to like the challenge of bagging a woman they might consider less likely to be into NSA.
It's a huge generalisation just based on my experience and the chats I have had with a handful of women and men I know on dating sites.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a dateable guy.
Every single relationship I've ever had has gone to shit.
I tend to go for hot-heads, the last one threw a mobile phone through my plasterboard wall.
It landed in the kitchen.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm not a dateable guy.
Every single relationship I've ever had has gone to shit.
I tend to go for hot-heads, the last one threw a mobile phone through my plasterboard wall.
It landed in the kitchen. "
You just need to look at what it is that attracts you to the hot-heads and change that dynamic. It takes two to make the relationship work.
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"I'm not a dateable guy.
Every single relationship I've ever had has gone to shit.
I tend to go for hot-heads, the last one threw a mobile phone through my plasterboard wall.
It landed in the kitchen. "
thats not a hot head thats someone with a violent temper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm OP; I think the problem with dating sites are commitment and well (sorry fellas) men are just less likely to commit than women; hence the numbers flip from swinging sites (too many men) to dating sites (too many women).
However it's sometimes because men think that they are only good for a throwaway fuck and that they don't have much more to offer than that...
Don't be despondent; though there may be less fish in that sea, there are still fish in that sea; and hopefully some of them will want what you want.
Good luck! x |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
It's a peronality thing, for me. there are people who I really do like, who Id have casual sex with (and have  ) who I wouldn't date because I feel that their life goals are not compatible with mine. If they are younger, I assume that they might want kids and I don't want any more. I also don't want to do the whole "living together" thing with someone. I'm quite happy having my space, and letting them have theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
Yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
Maybe but I just think the percentages on here favour women more than on vanilla sites where its more even split of men to women. Personally for me looks wise is no different here to dating but as others have mentioned other factors come in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
Maybe but I just think the percentages on here favour women more than on vanilla sites where its more even split of men to women. Personally for me looks wise is no different here to dating but as others have mentioned other factors come in."
That is very true. I'd be happy to fuck you, I wouldn't think we have much in common out of bed. Plus, your mates would laugh at you, bringing the old lady to the pub on couples night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of guys use dating websites for NSA sex. But maybe on there, they are a bit more wary on messaging asking for sex as they do not know what kind of reaction they would get. Whereas on here, you know an individual is here for sex, so you feel more comfortable approaching them for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't date the majority of men I fuck. Sex is one thing, spending time doing normal stuff is another."
 I wouldn't fuck me as I'm a shit shag, but I'd date me as we share common interests  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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could be the different types of site attract different types of guys as well?
like shyer guys on dating sites? i often approached guys on dating sites first and never got knocked back but it was mostly me doing the chasing (which i enjoyed). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's mainly numbers, simple percentages. Men are not in the minority on many dating sites.
There used to be numerous threads on here years ago where guys often stated they had more sex on dating sites than Fab.
I also imagine many women looking for sex are more willing to join a dating site than Fab. Fab is a much braver step. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As has been said there are different reasons as opposed to standards but for me I met one woman off here who shared an incredible mental connection- I'd date her in an instant.
But physically I met an American girl who I don't think I'll ever surpass she was genuinely beautiful.
I can't find the intelligence/ attractiveness on here or Tinds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a peronality thing, for me. there are people who I really do like, who Id have casual sex with (and have ) who I wouldn't date because I feel that their life goals are not compatible with mine. If they are younger, I assume that they might want kids and I don't want any more. I also don't want to do the whole "living together" thing with someone. I'm quite happy having my space, and letting them have theirs. "
Exactly. The criteria for NSA buddies is different to the criteria for a romantic, monogamous long term partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
Iv not spent a lot of time on dating sites the only one I have a go was P.o.F and in all honesty that is just a glorified sex site.
What Iv noticed between dating sites and sex sites is that some men and women on sex sites expect the sex handed out on a plate, expect it to be so easy to come by with little effort.
On dating sites I feel, as someone said above that more women want relationships on dating sites than men do. And personally I think the majority of men on dating sites including the ones you pay for are only after a bit of fun. And as soon as these ladies give it out on the first date even the second you find the guy vanishes into thin air. Who can blame him? He got what he wanted and also figured out you were not long term worthy, maybe even marriage material. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
Now you feel the pain i have the same case here no replies dont know whats wrong |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I understand what you all are saying in terms of people's circumstances as in location, some wanting kids or wanting commitment and other not wanting that etc. But am I wrong in thinking that a lot of the time it comes down to physical attraction. And people will have sex on here with those they don't necessarily fancy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I understand what you all are saying in terms of people's circumstances as in location, some wanting kids or wanting commitment and other not wanting that etc. But am I wrong in thinking that a lot of the time it comes down to physical attraction. And people will have sex on here with those they don't necessarily fancy? "
Very much so I believe. A lot may disagree. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
Well ive been on a dateing site befor and my Standard's are the same hear as it wos on a dateing site. But that's cos im not the tipe that fucks eveything that mooves and i need sum sort of spark with hoo I go with. also and i no fab is not a dateing site but im also looking for sum one to get with to not just to have a quik fuck. But I won't say no to 1 lol. The problem with dateing sites is as u well sed thay charge. That's y I like fab cos you can send a message and you don't haf to be a pade member. And as for the man to women on a dateing site its sumthing like 20 w - 1 m. And even then I got no messages hahahaha.  |
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"Yeah I understand what you all are saying in terms of people's circumstances as in location, some wanting kids or wanting commitment and other not wanting that etc. But am I wrong in thinking that a lot of the time it comes down to physical attraction. And people will have sex on here with those they don't necessarily fancy? "
Yeah, I know what you're getting at here...
It's that 'any hole's a goal' mentality that some men do invariably have on here.
There was another thread a short time ago discussing this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
Here is sex..sex can be bought so giving it away is appealing... doesn't take Einstein to work it out |
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"Yeah I understand what you all are saying in terms of people's circumstances as in location, some wanting kids or wanting commitment and other not wanting that etc. But am I wrong in thinking that a lot of the time it comes down to physical attraction. And people will have sex on here with those they don't necessarily fancy? "
I disagree for my part - I can fancy and want to have sex with all sorts of people I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship with! What would I want with a hot 30 year old for instance??  |
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
"
It also depends what you ask for - I make it quite clear on dating sites I am looking for a relationship only, so men just wanting sex know they'll get short shrift from me there whereas they could be in for a chance of some on here, so more will approach.
Add a risque pic or a profile that offers casual sex and you will be inundated on both sites. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so this has nothing to do with fab but recently I joined a vanilla dating site that you have to pay for.
I found it really interesting and yet slightly disheartening as I get hundreds of messages on here like most other women but on there I hardly get any.
Is it just me or do people find that people's standards are completely different when dating.
Is it a case of good enough to shag but not date?
It also depends what you ask for - I make it quite clear on dating sites I am looking for a relationship only, so men just wanting sex know they'll get short shrift from me there whereas they could be in for a chance of some on here, so more will approach.
Add a risque pic or a profile that offers casual sex and you will be inundated on both sites."
When I was single I got loads off tin*er and P*f..the ones that said no hook ups etc usually meant with monsters dwarfs or tight arses... if ya got you pull..simple as |
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