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Cheer me up

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'm in a bit of a

mood which is unlike me but that's men for you

so I'm asking you crazy lot to cheer me up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You need to watch some cute puppy videos on YouTube

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wank me with your left hand

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

welcome

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Wank me with your left hand "

Hummmm

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"You need to watch some cute puppy videos on YouTube

Yeah ok

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wank me with your left hand

Hummmm "

My job is done !

You're welcome

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I'm just thinking how to cheer you up other than wanking the guy above

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Big hugs x "

I'll be alright

can't keep a woman down for long

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By *heCuriousCoupleCouple over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

Watch this video:

http://youtu.be/VLnWf1sQkjY

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By *emini1637Woman over a year ago

Warwickshire

Aww big boobie gemini hugs honey xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Big hugs going out to you. You know the saying. "Don't let the ********" grind ya down"

Much love

Kinky

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By *eesideMan over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Sounds like you need a nice guy to look after you and to tak you out sumwrar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Watch this video:

http://youtu.be/VLnWf1sQkjY"

Oh! And this one https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JsysNml153M

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By *axandbooCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"Big hugs x

I'll be alright

can't keep a woman down for long

Doesnt that depend on

1) whats she doing?

2) is she enjoying it

3) does she want to keep going to the amazing finish?

Sending hugs

Boo x

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By *axandbooCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"Sounds like you need a nice guy to look after you and to tak you out sumwrar."

Or Magnum P.I

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By *itzhallMan over a year ago

birchington

"Big hugs x

I'll be alright

can't keep a woman down for long

You can if you tie her up securely enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where do you go to weigh a whale?

To the whale weigh station.

xxx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Where do you go to weigh a whale?

To the whale weigh station.

xxx"

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By *enny79TV/TS over a year ago

chesterfield

Huge hugs and kisses for u xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's green and goes backwards ?

Sniff!

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By *eesideMan over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Sounds like you need a nice guy to look after you and to tak you out sumwrar.

Or Magnum P.I

Larst I hard the ladies loved magnum P.I

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sounds like you need a nice guy to look after you and to tak you out sumwrar.

Or Magnum P.I

Larst I hard the ladies loved magnum P.I

You look like Pablo !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd offer a jam doughnut but I just ate the last one

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Big hugs x

I'll be alright

can't keep a woman down for long

Only if I use a good quality restraints

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Where do you go to weigh a whale?

To the whale weigh station.

xxx"

That's funny actually

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By *imon_hydeMan over a year ago

Stockport

Cup of tea and chocolate digestives! Bake off later.

I've just read that back and you know what I'm both middle-aged and middle class. Well fuck me how did that happen!

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By *anklerMan over a year ago

Suffolk

"Big hugs x

I'll be alright

can't keep a woman down for long

Can if you've tied them down right

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where do you go to weigh a pie??

Some where over the rainbow. Weigh a pie.

Lol bit shit but always makes me chuckle as it was one my grandad told me when I was little

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By *eesideMan over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Sounds like you need a nice guy to look after you and to tak you out sumwrar.

Or Magnum P.I

Larst I hard the ladies loved magnum P.I

You look like Pablo ! "

How wood u no

unless u have met him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would do the helicopter for ya but my saggy bollocks keep hitting me in the eye

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I went back to this guy's flat and he had an eight foot high light switch. I thought, that's a huge turn off.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"I went back to this guy's flat and he had an eight foot high light switch. I thought, that's a huge turn off."

Well I'm laughing

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By *obwithkiltMan over a year ago

Belton

What's white and can't climb trees? A dead fridge

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By *iforfun999Man over a year ago

Haverfordwest

Fancy a ...... (what word would you like to see here?)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/09/16 20:07:24]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's forty feet long and smells of pee?.

A line dancing team from an O.A.P. Home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a Blowjob

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By *oddyWoman over a year ago

between havant and chichester

RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,

'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied, i lost them in the uk

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You guys are awesome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And you have lovely tits

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