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Is it in yet?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just laughed out loud. I actually said that once  Not because I have a flappy fanny before anyone says....he had a pencil cock. The guy thought it was hilarious and wanted to meet me again 
And did you? You could have got him a girthy nobbled sleeve  "
 I've missed you |
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"I just laughed out loud. I actually said that once Not because I have a flappy fanny before anyone says....he had a pencil cock. The guy thought it was hilarious and wanted to meet me again
And did you? You could have got him a girthy nobbled sleeve
I've missed you"
Missed you too sweet cheeks ..... mwah  |
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"I just laughed out loud. I actually said that once Not because I have a flappy fanny before anyone says....he had a pencil cock. The guy thought it was hilarious and wanted to meet me again
And did you? You could have got him a girthy nobbled sleeve "
Now that's just a cool idea!! Lol |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I just laughed out loud. I actually said that once Not because I have a flappy fanny before anyone says....he had a pencil cock. The guy thought it was hilarious and wanted to meet me again
And did you? You could have got him a girthy nobbled sleeve "
No I didn't, he was a bit straight and I'm not talking about his cock this time  sweet chap though.
Nice to see you back xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Was that it?!'
I said that once to a meet from here. Luckily we'd been talking long enough for him to realise it was a joke. His face was a picture at first though |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
After removing my Victoria Secret fishnet holdups (a no no for me)
Me 'what the fuck are you doing?'
Him 'I'm going to have a wank in them later and send you a pic'
Could of been worse but I still didn't want to hear it! Tbh for a second I thought I was going to be strangled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was 10mins late for a meet and knocked on the door, she shouted come up. Playing on her own she was I get there she says am ready for you 5 mins later she came pussy pulsating and she said "that's it am done you can go now " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh I remember now.
"you should lose weight"
 
Or 'wow, your belly is getting big isn't it'  courtesy of my lovely ex 
b
a
s
t
a
r
d
"
Yea im glad he's out of my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh I remember now.
"you should lose weight"
Or 'wow, your belly is getting big isn't it' courtesy of my lovely ex
Can't think why he's now an ex lol"
Its a mystery |
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"Was 10mins late for a meet and knocked on the door, she shouted come up. Playing on her own she was I get there she says am ready for you 5 mins later she came pussy pulsating and she said "that's it am done you can go now " "
So that's why you never keep a lady waiting. Got it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'If you cum inside me, I'll kill you'
I was 17. I remember it clearly to this day.
I decided I'll wait until I got some condoms. 
Coward "
It was a game I was unwilling to play. During sex, I guarantee nothing!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh I remember now.
"you should lose weight"
Or 'wow, your belly is getting big isn't it' courtesy of my lovely ex "
"shame I can't say the same about your dick!"
You know that's what you should've said.
It ended there surely. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
There was the one time when an ex and myself were getting seriously heated at this guys house - there were fingers and tongues everywhere before I said 'Fuck me' He said the line 'Have you got a condom as I haven't' and for once I didn't.....
It all went downhill from there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the handbreak has just gone. Pretty sure we've started moving.
Oops
Oops was not the word. We were in the back seat of a car with pants round our ankles rolling backwards down a hill "
how did you get out of that situation |
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"I think the handbreak has just gone. Pretty sure we've started moving.
Oops
Oops was not the word. We were in the back seat of a car with pants round our ankles rolling backwards down a hill
how did you get out of that situation "
Luckily it hadn't gone completely so I threw myself between the seats and pulled on the handbreak as hard as I could and the Mrs got in the drivers seat and put it into 1st gear lol
In the end only rolled back a few feet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the handbreak has just gone. Pretty sure we've started moving.
Oops
Oops was not the word. We were in the back seat of a car with pants round our ankles rolling backwards down a hill
how did you get out of that situation
Luckily it hadn't gone completely so I threw myself between the seats and pulled on the handbreak as hard as I could and the Mrs got in the drivers seat and put it into 1st gear lol
In the end only rolled back a few feet "
phew! Not too bad then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met someone who kept saying "naughty" over and over while we were fucking which was a bit of a put off.
Someone I was dating for a short while said in a very child like voice "please don't hurt me" during sex - it wasn't rough sex and when I stopped she asked what was wrong?
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I went to a house for a meet. He asked if I would lay on the bed. When I did he said "that's my side. Can't you lay on the other side". During sex he said "my psoriasis is flaking off "
Sally "
Ewwwwwwwww!!!! |
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""Have you ever considered voting for the Conservative Party?"
Don't mention them. They're at my workplace next week "
Years ago we had a visit by john carlisle,very right wing tory,my bosses took one look at the sandinista t-shirt I was wearing and sent me for lunch break. No sense of humour |
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I didn't want to hear the thud of her head hitting the window sill d*unkenly knocking her out.
I was 17, she was my first. I had to finish........
I said to her in the morning as she was making me my bacon sandwich I carried on. She said "good for you. Glad you enjoyed it".
What a woman!!
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""Do you actually know what your doing?" is one ive used
And we have a code word for when a meet goes bad, have shouted it on the past, several times "
I guess if you're ever asked that you're left with 2 answers.
Sorry, no.
Well I thought I did right up until you asked that |
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""Do you actually know what your doing?" is one ive used
And we have a code word for when a meet goes bad, have shouted it on the past, several times "
Just get off, I do a better job on my own
True story- useless boy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Push it all the way in' how was I supposed to know that he was referring to his willy in my throat and not my finger in his bum must admit I did laugh when he squealed like a little girl  |
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By *dinMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"'Push it all the way in' how was I supposed to know that he was referring to his willy in my throat and not my finger in his bum must admit I did laugh when he squealed like a little girl "
OMG even I had to laugh at that!! |
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"'Push it all the way in' how was I supposed to know that he was referring to his willy in my throat and not my finger in his bum must admit I did laugh when he squealed like a little girl
"
Pmsl awesome!... I might have to try that on dax |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'Push it all the way in' how was I supposed to know that he was referring to his willy in my throat and not my finger in his bum must admit I did laugh when he squealed like a little girl
Pmsl awesome!... I might have to try that on dax "
I like it, sorry Dax |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'Push it all the way in' how was I supposed to know that he was referring to his willy in my throat and not my finger in his bum must admit I did laugh when he squealed like a little girl
Private note added. Be specific with requests "
You can never be too careful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few years ago, wife giving me a bj.Half way through, she asks "will you take me to Chester shopping tomorrow?"
"No I'm working"
End of bj.Never been to Chester since or had a blow job ( from her) since!
So ' Chester' is one word I don't wanna hear during sex lol |
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I only just had my brekkie Joe.
