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Smacking
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think? "
how about I slap you for misbehaving? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think?
how about I slap you for misbehaving? "
Well....not the response I was looking for but hey, slap away.  xx |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
I don't see why aggression towards children to frighten them into make different choices can ever be justified.
Makes me cringe. Makes me sad.
I'm sure grown ups can come up with something more intellectual to teach or deter rather than pain and degradation. That should just be left for the fetishists |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think?
how about I slap you for misbehaving?
Well....not the response I was looking for but hey, slap away. xx"
really?
|
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"I was smacked
I don't agree with it now"
I was never smacked by my parents, but was given the slipper and cane at boarding school.
I don't think it made a better person, just meant that I couldn't sit down for a couple of hours  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think?
how about I slap you for misbehaving?
Well....not the response I was looking for but hey, slap away. xx
really?
"
Yup.
You just let me know how badly I need to misbehave.  x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I don't know to be honest, I was smacked as a kid and it didn't do me any harm, though I have chosen not to have kids. (I don't like them)
I personally think there is no deterrent for kids nowadays, how far do you really get with words? I mean a healthy fear of my parents was enough for me, but then I don't have kids so I may have old fashioned virtues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I disagree with it completely - depending on the parent's temperament, it can be all too easy for the parent to lose control & to end up taking their anger out on the child instead of it being a sharp shock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You'd be better off looking at Mumsnet or Netmums for this kind of thing OP.
"
Hahaha.
They're a vicious lot over there.
You're throwing him to the lions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You'd be better off looking at Mumsnet or Netmums for this kind of thing OP.
Hahaha.
They're a vicious lot over there.
You're throwing him to the lions."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was smacked and I still feel hatred over some of the incidences that I felt were out of order.
I have NEVER smacked my son, he is a really good kid, polite, honest and we talk on a level that we are both happy with. A look can be all it needs to stop a child being naughty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think?
how about I slap you for misbehaving?
Well....not the response I was looking for but hey, slap away. xx
really?
Yup.
You just let me know how badly I need to misbehave. x"
I'll slap you for purposefully misunderstanding my reply. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think?
how about I slap you for misbehaving?
Well....not the response I was looking for but hey, slap away. xx
really?
Yup.
You just let me know how badly I need to misbehave. x
I'll slap you for purposefully misunderstanding my reply."
Haha.
Couldn't resist it. x |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
I was smacked as a kid but wont do that myself. When i was growing up a hiding for misbehaving was the norm but that was then.
I have and will never smack my child. She knows when she has done something i dont approve of. All i do i raise my voice slightly and call her by her full name. She instantly knows she maybe in trouble and stops everything. I will ask her what she was doing and why i thought it wrong. Works really well for us but each child is different.
To date it has never let me down and she is well behaved |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My son is nearly 3 i have found taking all his toys away and shutting them in his play room is the best punishment. I let him have them back once he has done what i have asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think? "
Don't smack your children my dad is a really great bloke and I love him dearly but he smacked me when I was a kid and it was really frightening. I have never smacked either of my sons I talk to them and explain things to them, they are in there late teens now and are honest, hard working, decent young men n I'm very proud of both of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Smack away nothing wrong with it if that's what you think they deserve "
No one deserves to be hit? Do you punch adults if they do something you think is wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is nearly 3 i have found taking all his toys away and shutting them in his play room is the best punishment. I let him have them back once he has done what i have asked. "
The threat of "unplugging the router" works a treat! Never have and never will lay a finger on my "little princess" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you're kid can't understand reasoning (ie: the verbal doesn't work) then how they gonna understand why someone has hit them?
i don't think you can justify any violence on a child. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Lol I love how everyone has little princes and princesses who do no wrong, I have a 16 year age gap between one of my brothers and even his teacher hit(tapped) him over the head with the bible he was so obnoxious ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got some proper good hidings from my dad as a kid . It was different then , and I'm not sure it did any good .
I love my dad to bits now , always have to be honest . He's in his mid eighties now .
But now ?
Wouldn't dream of hitting my kids , no matter what . If their behaviour is that bad , it's our fault in the first place , so it's our responsibility to sort it , and violence is never the answer . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's quite acceptable. If someone does not then that's fine too, they can bring their kids up the way they believe is best, but don't tell others how to bring up theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
"
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day!  . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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think i'd rather be smacked than get corporal punishment, like the cane or the belt.... but if you don't want to do that, then get on youtube, and look up Jo Frost, supernanny... possibly better to explain why you are not happy with what kid did, and place them in a naughty spot. seems to work just as well, and also make a chart that if they do well for a week, then they get a nice reward at the end of the week/month |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion. "
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world  |
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I never used to, i tried smacking my son when he was little a couple of times but he just laughed so i stopped doing it.
He was never that naughty anyway.
I think some kids these days should be spanked though because of the way they behave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion.
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world "
Pahhahaha.
The real world?
I was hit as a child.
It didn't work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was smacked and would never judge a parent that did so in a controlled way... but its frowned upon now so much that most dont dare in case the kids get them done.
When my parents were young if you deserved it the police would even give you a clip round the ear... then your parents and hopefully you would learn..
I would happily see the cane back in schools and the power balance returned to the adults.
I can remember all 3 occassions my parents felt the need to smack me. And the two times i got the belt... I wouldnt have dared do that to my kids but i do think that the power balance has shifted in schools and society for tbe worse although obviously i cant say tbia wouldn't have happened without the changes that also happened to include most parents not spanking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion.
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world "
Thank you. X |
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I was smacked a few times as a kid at school, what affected me most was the nasty things people said to me, verbal abuse which sticks in my mind and was much worst. Also being ignored and neglected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion.
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world
Pahhahaha.
The real world?
I was hit as a child.
It didn't work. "
Same here, and my brother and sisters.
I've got defiance issues because of it. And we all got better at hiding things from my dad so we didn't get hit more or just stayed away from our home. I've also been ok with abusive relationships for some reason...until i learned self worth in my 20s.
Imo, if you have a learning difficulty that mean you can't resolve issues without violence then you need to stay away from people until you learn some patience and skills to deal with the issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion.
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world
Pahhahaha.
The real world?
I was hit as a child.
It didn't work. "
How would you describe yourself now as the adult you are and as a teenager? I'd hazard a guess and say you were a decent law abiding teenager and the same now as an adult.
You were hit you say, it could be suggested there's a connection between that and you turning out the decent nice person you are today. What I'm getting at is plenty of teenagers or kids aren't smacked and look at how they've turned out! Our streets are full of disrespectful, law breaking kids / teenagers with no clear respect for their elders or anyone with a position of authority over them. Sometimes a slap is called for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was beaten as a child. Bruised and injured. So was my mother
I hated my dad as I grew and promised when I reached the age of 18 I would take my revenge.
I never did. I love my father now and almost understand why he was like he was. Forgiven. Because he's my dad.
I'd hate my own children to be scared of me coming home.
Saying that my youngest is 19 just under 6'4 size 13 shoe and built like a southafrican rugby player, he'd probably laugh at me if I tried to give him a slap
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion.
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world
Pahhahaha.
The real world?
I was hit as a child.
It didn't work.
How would you describe yourself now as the adult you are and as a teenager? I'd hazard a guess and say you were a decent law abiding teenager and the same now as an adult.
You were hit you say, it could be suggested there's a connection between that and you turning out the decent nice person you are today. What I'm getting at is plenty of teenagers or kids aren't smacked and look at how they've turned out! Our streets are full of disrespectful, law breaking kids / teenagers with no clear respect for their elders or anyone with a position of authority over them. Sometimes a slap is called for."
I don't respect anyone who has hit me, not a single one. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Smacked ours once or twice when we got our dog & they wouldn't listen when we told them not to tease him..I'd rather I smacked them than he ripped their heads off tbh but eighteen months later he's soft as shit & they use him as a pillow to lie on the floor & watch TV
Normally removal of privilege's does the trick.
S |
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With a 4 and 2 year old it's very hard not to smack to be honest. But we don't unless their life is in danger. Like running into a road unbuckling seatbelt in a moving car. But I say each to their own on a tap on the hand/leg is fine within reason. I'm not a judgemental person. But obviously hate the thought of children beaing beaten or harmed purposely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i was smacked and im still here but i dont think it was necessary as it was more my mothers only way of being in control - and i was a good kid that grew up to dislike my parents for a few good reasons- my own kids i just used to count to 10 - never got there btw and no idea what i would have done if i had - i used to say 'do i have to?' and they would say no and behave - we laugh about it now they are grown up |
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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago
Derby |
I think it depends upon the child. My daughter, never ever had to smack her, all I'd ever have to do is give her a 'look', and she'd know she'd done something wrong. My son, very rarely, probably only 3 or maybe 4 times, and then it wasn't a 'smack' as such. I also would sit down with him and explain why. The last time I clipped him round the back of the head... he was 7. He's now 25. He can still remember it, and he remembers exactly what it was for, and why.
I remember being clipped round the ear by our local copper once. I was about 11, it was for something I did wrong, which under different circumstances could have killed me... I never did it again.
I also remember my Mum smacking me .. proper smacking me.... used to slap me round the face... right up until after I'd left home even. I can't ever remember any time when it was justified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Smack away nothing wrong with it if that's what you think they deserve
So if you do something wrong or deemed to be so, I can bop you one?"
sure can and I'd expect it and deserve it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How can i teach my children that violence is wrong, but then hit them myself? Hitting anyone is wrong, I don't care if it was acceptable years ago. So was racism, just because it used to be accepted as the norm doesn't make it right.
I found out yesterday that my ex sister in law slapped my 9 year old disabled niece across the face. She claims she "pushed her boundaries". I don't care what she did, no 9 year old should ever have to cower away from their own mother. Disgusting behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody is going to put their head over the parapet on this one
Ps sent to bed with no tea is devastating for them
I've done it twice - it works
Haha how old are your kids?? That would never work on older / teenage kids believe me! If I did that to mine, they'd laugh back at me!
I get my kids where it really hurts... take away the WiFi box! Not just turn it off but unplug it and take it out with me. Sad but hey its a sign of modern times and games consoles. However doesn't always work!
I believe a slap is OK and had some school teachers agree with me. Nothing that leaves a bruise though. Kids and teenagers these days are growing up with vile attitudes towards their elders.
I'm a brill mum...always told this by two of mine and other people.... what I'm getting at is, it doesn't matter how great your parenting skills are, if a child / teenager wants to ignore you, do things their way and verbally abuse you every day, how do you stop them? My youngest son knows there's nothing I can do. Not really because we're not allowed to smack our kids anymore. Yes I do believe a slap doesn't cause lasting damage but does install a level of respect (such as a child knowing not to walk over / disrespect an adult). Taking away privileges only lasts for so long then it's back to groundhog day! . I've signed him up for police cadets so hopefully that'll teach him more about self discipline.
Sorry to drone on and I hope I don't get shot down for my opinion.
Well done and thank god for someone who lives in the real world
Pahhahaha.
The real world?
I was hit as a child.
It didn't work.
How would you describe yourself now as the adult you are and as a teenager? I'd hazard a guess and say you were a decent law abiding teenager and the same now as an adult.
You were hit you say, it could be suggested there's a connection between that and you turning out the decent nice person you are today. What I'm getting at is plenty of teenagers or kids aren't smacked and look at how they've turned out! Our streets are full of disrespectful, law breaking kids / teenagers with no clear respect for their elders or anyone with a position of authority over them. Sometimes a slap is called for."
I don't have the energy to..
no words.
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"it shows that the adult has lost control..kid 1 adult 0.."
I agree. Mindyou a while ago myself and my daughter walked past a guy in town who smacked his young son around the head,we were horrified. On that occasion I don't believe for one minute he lost control,he was laughing!  |
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"it shows that the adult has lost control..kid 1 adult 0..
I agree. Mindyou a while ago myself and my daughter walked past a guy in town who smacked his young son around the head,we were horrified. On that occasion I don't believe for one minute he lost control,he was laughing! "
Yea it's horrible to witness parents behaving like that. I saw a woman screaming "fatty" in her daughters face, she was about 4 . |
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If you were smacked as a child and grew up thinking you're fine and it's OK to smack a child, you did NOT grow up ok. Hitting is hurting, hitting is not parenting. Physical abuse towards a small defenseless child to make them conform is never ok under any circumstances.
You wouldn't do it to an old person and expect to be high fived and congratulated for 'disciplining' them so why do it to the most vulnerable members of our society.
I did pair that people think no this is ever ok. Makes me feel physically sick.
*Her* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it shows that the adult has lost control..kid 1 adult 0..
I agree. Mindyou a while ago myself and my daughter walked past a guy in town who smacked his young son around the head,we were horrified. On that occasion I don't believe for one minute he lost control,he was laughing!
Yea it's horrible to witness parents behaving like that. I saw a woman screaming "fatty" in her daughters face, she was about 4 ."
I've intervened when I've witnessed someone slapping their child.
Of course it's probably best not to but why should I stand there and not say anything while the poor child cries helplessly?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh wow! A whole new filter!!
I have 2 children. One with extra needs who is particularly difficult. I've never laid a finger on either of them and never would.
Smacking a child only shows a loss of control and that makes me uncomfortable.
If someone hit me to 'teach me a lesson' it would be assault. If a vulnerable elderly person was hit it would be assault. Illegal. So why is assaulting children acceptable? It's awful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents thrashed me and my siblings because they lost control of their tempers. It was never a calculated action. It was because their anger and frustration erupted into violence. If they'd behaved like that with work colleagues or elderly relatives they'd have been prosecuted. It's not ok to humiliate and physically harm anyone else, so why should children be treated as such. |
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"it shows that the adult has lost control..kid 1 adult 0..
I agree. Mindyou a while ago myself and my daughter walked past a guy in town who smacked his young son around the head,we were horrified. On that occasion I don't believe for one minute he lost control,he was laughing!
Yea it's horrible to witness parents behaving like that. I saw a woman screaming "fatty" in her daughters face, she was about 4 .
I've intervened when I've witnessed someone slapping their child.
Of course it's probably best not to but why should I stand there and not say anything while the poor child cries helplessly?
"
If you feel its right and you're close enough there's no reason why not. |
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"Dilemma.... I am caught in the unenviable debate of whether it's fine to smack your kids to enforce discipline.
Having not had the need to smack mine I can't enforce the side of smacking is the way forward, however having listened to the opposing side I find it hard to believe that verbal intervention can possibly be the way forward in the situation I am hearing about.
Views people..... What do we think? "
I have a 4 year nephew, their parents are one of the 'don't do that it's naughty' parents. In my eyes the kid gets away with murder, as their older child got brought up very strictly.
I will add the older one got shouted at when she did wrong growing, then her mum talked to her to tell her what she had done wrong. She seemed to learn what was right and what was wrong, needless to say no one seems to want to babysit the nephew. |
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Sometimes - on very rare occasions - it is necessary for there to be a short, sharp shock to break the behaviour that is out of control, and never something to do because *you're* angry.
Only ever had to do it twice.
Reason usually works but with toddlers sometimes it's necessary.
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I don't think it matters what punishment you use more that you need to go through with it.
If it's sent to bed or grounded then it has to be seen through smacked hands on my mind either when they where young but as they got older then reason and removal of perks worked best but then again they know I will see it thorough no matter how much they moan in fact that just gets the punishment to be longer works for me.
I was smacked did not harm to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was beaten as a child. Bruised and injured. So was my mother
I hated my dad as I grew and promised when I reached the age of 18 I would take my revenge.
I never did. I love my father now and almost understand why he was like he was. Forgiven. Because he's my dad.
I'd hate my own children to be scared of me coming home.
Saying that my youngest is 19 just under 6'4 size 13 shoe and built like a southafrican rugby player, he'd probably laugh at me if I tried to give him a slap
"
There's a difference between beating your kid and giving it a smack in the back of the hand, bottom
My father was very violent but I wouldn't compair what he did to somebody giving the child a bit of a smack for being naughty |
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"I don't know to be honest, I was smacked as a kid and it didn't do me any harm, though I have chosen not to have kids. (I don't like them)
I personally think there is no deterrent for kids nowadays, how far do you really get with words? I mean a healthy fear of my parents was enough for me, but then I don't have kids so I may have old fashioned virtues. "
Same here on all counts. I was warned once, twice, third time slap to the back of the legs. Taught me respect, to listen and do as I'm told. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think smacking is totally fine ....(once nice hard and firm) I only ever got smacked once .... Never needed a second go!
You want to take a tv or game console or chocolate away ... I call that child abuse !!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think smacking is totally fine ....(once nice hard and firm) I only ever got smacked once .... Never needed a second go!
You want to take a tv or game console or chocolate away ... I call that child abuse !!!
"
Wow are we really living in a society where taking away a game's console or chocolate is _iewed as child abuse?
Seriously? A games console is an essential now days? |
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I don't have any children myself but I'm from a big family.
Some of my nephews and nieces have a healthy fear of their parent's wrath.
The rest have no fear of their parent's and pretty much do whatever the fuck they want.
..unless I'm asked to have a talk with them when they get out of hand.
I've never physically struck any of them by the way.
..
Some healthy fear is a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think smacking is totally fine ....(once nice hard and firm) I only ever got smacked once .... Never needed a second go!
You want to take a tv or game console or chocolate away ... I call that child abuse !!!
Wow are we really living in a society where taking away a game's console or chocolate is _iewed as child abuse?
Seriously? A games console is an essential now days? "
Yeah they play with their friends online and stuff an it keeps them out of trouble roaming the streets and stuff ....
Getting d*unk at the local park you know the things kids do !
Anyway if your against it your a tree hugging hippy with a heart of gold .... No offence but with fear comes respect ......with respect comes manners and so on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think smacking is totally fine ....(once nice hard and firm) I only ever got smacked once .... Never needed a second go!
You want to take a tv or game console or chocolate away ... I call that child abuse !!!
Wow are we really living in a society where taking away a game's console or chocolate is _iewed as child abuse?
Seriously? A games console is an essential now days?
Yeah they play with their friends online and stuff an it keeps them out of trouble roaming the streets and stuff ....
Getting d*unk at the local park you know the things kids do !
Anyway if your against it your a tree hugging hippy with a heart of gold .... No offence but with fear comes respect ......with respect comes manners and so on
"
I regualr took my kids mobile phones etc off them if I felt the deserved it, how long for depended on what they had done, they didn't go out getting d*unk because if they had their phones took off them for misbehaving they also wasn't going out
I doubt child line would have got social service involved had I been reported |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well since I had access to the house phone the Internet and my brothers mobiles phones that would be a waste of time taking mine of me .....
Anyway smacking is fine by me ..... It was fine for me fine for my dad and his dad .... Don't know if my grandad got hit but my gran sure smacked my dad once I remember him telling me |
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"I think smacking is totally fine ....(once nice hard and firm) I only ever got smacked once .... Never needed a second go!
You want to take a tv or game console or chocolate away ... I call that child abuse !!!
"
That is a joke right,you're not actually serious are you!  |
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"I think smacking is totally fine ....(once nice hard and firm) I only ever got smacked once .... Never needed a second go!
You want to take a tv or game console or chocolate away ... I call that child abuse !!!
Wow are we really living in a society where taking away a game's console or chocolate is _iewed as child abuse?
Seriously? A games console is an essential now days?
Yeah they play with their friends online and stuff an it keeps them out of trouble roaming the streets and stuff ....
Getting d*unk at the local park you know the things kids do !
Anyway if your against it your a tree hugging hippy with a heart of gold .... No offence but with fear comes respect ......with respect comes manners and so on
I regualr took my kids mobile phones etc off them if I felt the deserved it, how long for depended on what they had done, they didn't go out getting d*unk because if they had their phones took off them for misbehaving they also wasn't going out
I doubt child line would have got social service involved had I been reported "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people are confusing fear with respect. Children should respect their parents, not fear them.
If I thought any human being, child or adult, feared me, i'd be horrified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All those people here who think it is perfectly acceptable to hit a child.
I suggest you slap yourself in the visage every time you think you've misbehaved or done something you deem inappropriate.
Go on. |
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"Well since I had access to the house phone the Internet and my brothers mobiles phones that would be a waste of time taking mine of me .....
Anyway smacking is fine by me ..... It was fine for me fine for my dad and his dad .... Don't know if my grandad got hit but my gran sure smacked my dad once I remember him telling me "
So when you have children you will be violent towards them as well I presume. The children you're supposed to love and cherish you will physically cause them pain,yes? |
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I'm not sure why it would be ok to hit someone you love with the intent to hurt them or teach them some sort of lesson. If an adult does it to another adult regularly within a relationship its called domestic abuse if an adult regularly does it to a child in a domestic environment it's the same thing...isn't it?
I tapped an errant hand that wandered towards plug sockets now and again though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seeing the part about removing the WiFi box made me smile. Our teenager just looked smugly when I threatened that and being a smartarse pointed out he'd tether to his mobile. Didn't end so well when I pointed out his mobile was in my name and his data dropped to 0gb for the next month. Smug git. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I had a conversation with someone who thought it was ok to hit kids the other week, because it did him no harm. My thoughts were it obviously did do him some harm because he thinks hitting kids is ok  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lets look at how kids are now to how they were thirty year ago. im not saying it is all down to discipline but i think it plays a big part.
when i was a kid i had a fear of the consequences to my actions. if i stepped out of line i would get a cuff round the ear. so yes i think it should be allowed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lets look at how kids are now to how they were thirty year ago. im not saying it is all down to discipline but i think it plays a big part.
when i was a kid i had a fear of the consequences to my actions. if i stepped out of line i would get a cuff round the ear. so yes i think it should be allowed"
How are kids compared to 30 years ago?
All the kids I know are perfectly well behaved and they're not slapped.
Rubbish statement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was smacked by my parents as a kid, and verbally abused by my sister constantly.
I still see my parents, but havent spoken to my sister for 27 years, so I know what was more harmful to me |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
All kids are not the same, all parents are not the same, a blanket ruling works for neither. There are children at our daughters school that are angels from "No smacking" households but then there are others who I'd happily push on front of a bus they are such self centred nasty pieces of excrement. The same can be said of those in the other camp. Smacking plays a very small part on bringing up a kid.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i m going to add that it doesnt take much to put fear into a child - my exes final nail was to physically attack me - hurt my daughter too and a few weeks after we moved out - i had to shout at her for something i took a step towards her and she cowered - she thought i was going to go for her like dad did - it broke me up and we ended up sobbing together - id never hit them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my quotes isnt working on i phone for some reason so in response to harlots comment
yeah kids are just little angels now arent they "
You're sounding extremely ill informed.
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"i m going to add that it doesnt take much to put fear into a child - my exes final nail was to physically attack me - hurt my daughter too and a few weeks after we moved out - i had to shout at her for something i took a step towards her and she cowered - she thought i was going to go for her like dad did - it broke me up and we ended up sobbing together - id never hit them "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i m going to add that it doesnt take much to put fear into a child - my exes final nail was to physically attack me - hurt my daughter too and a few weeks after we moved out - i had to shout at her for something i took a step towards her and she cowered - she thought i was going to go for her like dad did - it broke me up and we ended up sobbing together - id never hit them
"
we are all good it was many years ago and my son says - as bad as it was it was the best thing that could have happened to us - some logic in there somewhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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over a million crimes are commited in the uk by minors, as opposed to 600,000 on average during the 1980s. so yes i would say kids are worse now than thirty year ago |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lets look at how kids are now to how they were thirty year ago. im not saying it is all down to discipline but i think it plays a big part.
when i was a kid i had a fear of the consequences to my actions. if i stepped out of line i would get a cuff round the ear. so yes i think it should be allowed
How are kids compared to 30 years ago?
All the kids I know are perfectly well behaved and they're not slapped.
Rubbish statement. "
I think it depends where you live
When i first left my ex i went to the council for help, because i had my name on the mortgage of the home i left they was reluctant to re home me so i was homed under being voluntary homeless which means they can put you anywhere, one offer you take or leave it, so i was put on a run down hard to let estste, the kids where a nightmear, police regular patroled the streets rounding up gangs of kids, some as young as 10 where out late at night
When i sorted myself out and moved to where i live now, which is a new private estste, i dont have any problems with the local kids, they are all well behaved
If you live in a run down area its easy to believe all kids are little sods now days |
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"I had a conversation with someone who thought it was ok to hit kids the other week, because it did him no harm. My thoughts were it obviously did do him some harm because he thinks hitting kids is ok "
Irrefutable logic there Tina. |
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"i m going to add that it doesnt take much to put fear into a child - my exes final nail was to physically attack me - hurt my daughter too and a few weeks after we moved out - i had to shout at her for something i took a step towards her and she cowered - she thought i was going to go for her like dad did - it broke me up and we ended up sobbing together - id never hit them
we are all good it was many years ago and my son says - as bad as it was it was the best thing that could have happened to us - some logic in there somewhere"
and some people think it's acceptable to hit children! I hope when reading your experience they stop the next time they go to smack their own. I'm glad you managed to get away,I can only imagine what that must have been like for you all. Our home should be where we feel at our safest shouldn't it. |
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If hitting kids is ok, is it also ok to hit adults if they do something wrong? If If my 89 year old father does something I think is wrong would it be ok for me to deck him one on the grounds that if I do t he will do it again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i m going to add that it doesnt take much to put fear into a child - my exes final nail was to physically attack me - hurt my daughter too and a few weeks after we moved out - i had to shout at her for something i took a step towards her and she cowered - she thought i was going to go for her like dad did - it broke me up and we ended up sobbing together - id never hit them
we are all good it was many years ago and my son says - as bad as it was it was the best thing that could have happened to us - some logic in there somewhere
and some people think it's acceptable to hit children! I hope when reading your experience they stop the next time they go to smack their own. I'm glad you managed to get away,I can only imagine what that must have been like for you all. Our home should be where we feel at our safest shouldn't it."
it was a one off thing but it was the last thing he ever did to us - we are all good - kids have grown up into beautiful caring people - and yes we should all have a safe place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"over a million crimes are commited in the uk by minors, as opposed to 600,000 on average during the 1980s. so yes i would say kids are worse now than thirty year ago"
Gawd.
It's horrible that you think hitting is the best way to stop kids committing crime.
Really?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If hitting kids is ok, is it also ok to hit adults if they do something wrong? If If my 89 year old father does something I think is wrong would it be ok for me to deck him one on the grounds that if I do t he will do it again?"
No but its not ok to 'deck' a child either
i see a world of difference between a small smack on the back of the hand to the abuse some are mentioning
I dont think anybody thinks its ok to beat a child or hit them to the extent it causes long lasting physical damange into adulthood |
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"If hitting kids is ok, is it also ok to hit adults if they do something wrong? If If my 89 year old father does something I think is wrong would it be ok for me to deck him one on the grounds that if I do t he will do it again?
No but its not ok to 'deck' a child either
i see a world of difference between a small smack on the back of the hand to the abuse some are mentioning
I dont think anybody thinks its ok to beat a child or hit them to the extent it causes long lasting physical damange into adulthood "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Interesting response, massive majority like-mindedly think smacking is barbaric, I have, as originally stated, been caught between 2 very different opinions and honestly can't justify the right or wrong way in which the dilemma should be handled, granted, smacking wasn't needed nor considered in raising my kids but somewhere in my mind I cant see how verbal comprises can possibly resolve the issue I am hearing about.
Seems I have raised a very debatable and opinion based subject. x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the problem is its the only language some people know
In all honestly some people have no idea how to control their kids unless smacking is involved
Parenthood does not come with a user manual we all just do the best we can and for some that will involve a slap for others it will not
Like everything we all have our own levels of whats acceptable and whats not but our way of rasing a child does not make us superior to others who raise their child in a different way
I never hit my kids, mainly because i was beaten as a child to the point me and my sister was put into care, my dad was vile abusive alcholic and i swore id never raise a hand to my children
But what he did wasnt giving us a slap when we were naughty, nor do i compair what he did to a partent giving their child a little smack on the bottom, its totally different
If a see a mother slap her kids bottom who am i to judge her methods? if i saw a mother slap her kid in the face thats different, there is a difference between a little slap on the hand or bottom and child abuse
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the problem is its the only language some people know
In all honestly some people have no idea how to control their kids unless smacking is involved
Parenthood does not come with a user manual we all just do the best we can and for some that will involve a slap for others it will not
Like everything we all have our own levels of whats acceptable and whats not but our way of rasing a child does not make us superior to others who raise their child in a different way
I never hit my kids, mainly because i was beaten as a child to the point me and my sister was put into care, my dad was vile abusive alcholic and i swore id never raise a hand to my children
But what he did wasnt giving us a slap when we were naughty, nor do i compair what he did to a partent giving their child a little smack on the bottom, its totally different
If a see a mother slap her kids bottom who am i to judge her methods? if i saw a mother slap her kid in the face thats different, there is a difference between a little slap on the hand or bottom and child abuse
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a massive difference between slapping a child the had or leg and giving a child a beating, i was smacked as a child if i pushed things too far and I'll be honest I deserved it
And yes I have smacked my kids in the past, when they have deserved it, when what they are doing is dangerous or they haven't listened to reason,
It's all well and good speaking a child but they don't always listen and need a shock
Who's to say that taking their stuff off them doesn't affect them physiological as much as a quick slap? |
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"If hitting kids is ok, is it also ok to hit adults if they do something wrong? If If my 89 year old father does something I think is wrong would it be ok for me to deck him one on the grounds that if I do t he will do it again?
No but its not ok to 'deck' a child either
i see a world of difference between a small smack on the back of the hand to the abuse some are mentioning
I dont think anybody thinks its ok to beat a child or hit them to the extent it causes long lasting physical damange into adulthood "
At what point is the line drawn? |
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"There is a massive difference between slapping a child the had or leg and giving a child a beating, i was smacked as a child if i pushed things too far and I'll be honest I deserved it
And yes I have smacked my kids in the past, when they have deserved it, when what they are doing is dangerous or they haven't listened to reason,
It's all well and good speaking a child but they don't always listen and need a shock
Who's to say that taking their stuff off them doesn't affect them physiological as much as a quick slap?"
You may be right,but I'd rather take my children's phone off them or ground them for a day rather than slap them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was a kid I got a good hiding when I stepped out of line and to be honest never did me any harm.
I have had 2 children myself and bothe had the odd slap on the leg when they were small but neither of them did after the age of five and both are over 16 now.
I think it's all about measured response and not anger as in when all else fails.
The problem is that too many parents in the past lost it totally with their children and that has led us to a no smaking policy and everyone running scared of punishing thier own children for fear of the doo gooder brigade.
And now look how out of control a lot of children I see out and about who have no respect for anyone. |
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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago
Chester |
I got smacked on the bum a few times as a kid. Short sharp and not particularly hard and it worked well. I never reached for the kettle lead again or crawled along the worktop towards the recently used hob.
There is an absolutely massive difference between that (which probably saved me being burned/scalded) and "decking" ones child. If you think there is no difference then you're a fool.
As for hitting adults in the same manner, it's unlikely to hurt but may well get you a punch in the neck. Most adults know not to do things that might hurt them. Those who don't are (or should be) in some form of care where they can't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some people are confusing fear with respect. Children should respect their parents, not fear them.
If I thought any human being, child or adult, feared me, i'd be horrified. "
I was afraid of my parents but I also respected them...I knew rules and boundaries and did not cross them...I think having a healthy fear of your parents is the first thing you learn to have respect for elders and authority.....if you go through life never having to smack your child that's fantastic but if that what it takes then so be it ..I think society is now a bit fucked and we have a generation of you can't tell me what to do because of the not giving a 4 year old a 500 phone for a few hours is classed as some sort of discipline....teaches them fuck all x |
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"I got smacked on the bum a few times as a kid. Short sharp and not particularly hard and it worked well. I never reached for the kettle lead again or crawled along the worktop towards the recently used hob.
There is an absolutely massive difference between that (which probably saved me being burned/scalded) and "decking" ones child. If you think there is no difference then you're a fool.
As for hitting adults in the same manner, it's unlikely to hurt but may well get you a punch in the neck. Most adults know not to do things that might hurt them. Those who don't are (or should be) in some form of care where they can't. "
Smacking and decking are the same thing just at different places along the physical punishment spectrum, I'm not foolish enough to think there's no difference but neither am I fool enough to think that there's a difference between hitting a child and an adult unless of course people only don't hit adults for fear of being hit back. |
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"I think some people are confusing fear with respect. Children should respect their parents, not fear them.
If I thought any human being, child or adult, feared me, i'd be horrified.
I was afraid of my parents but I also respected them...I knew rules and boundaries and did not cross them...I think having a healthy fear of your parents is the first thing you learn to have respect for elders and authority.....if you go through life never having to smack your child that's fantastic but if that what it takes then so be it ..I think society is now a bit fucked and we have a generation of you can't tell me what to do because of the not giving a 4 year old a 500 phone for a few hours is classed as some sort of discipline....teaches them fuck all x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take away their charges and turn the wifi off, then the little dears will soon turn in pmsl!!
I was smacked as a child, like we mostly all probably was, When my kids were younger they really used to test my patience and yes I hold my hands up and say 'yep I smacked them once or twice' but I have regretted it as soon as I had done it and I soon learnt never too do it again, parenting is all a learning curve and I can say hand on heart I fucked up a few times when it comes to telling them off, like I say you learn from it and thankfully my kids are ok and some of the posters are right it does show you've lost control of the situation, we don't go around smacking people when we are adults (well ads does but that's a whole different story!
g x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's quite acceptable. If someone does not then that's fine too, they can bring their kids up the way they believe is best, but don't tell others how to bring up theirs. "
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I grew up when I knew my boundaries, why because when I over stepped the mark I got shouted at, if I did it again I got warned of a hiding, usually I ended up getting it due to pushing my luck too far.
Did I fear my parents hell no, I lost all my respect for my father, but that was for something totally unrelated.
I think that if you mention a punishment to a child, you should carry it through. |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"I think it's quite acceptable. If someone does not then that's fine too, they can bring their kids up the way they believe is best, but don't tell others how to bring up theirs. "
I can't find violence against kids acceptable. It doesn't matter how well meaning or how controlled or how gentle or where.
I find it a shame that people validate it because they were hit as a child and it 'did no harm.'
There is absolutely no part of me that could hit a child because I'd lost my rag, or because they weren't listening or because they did something that wasn't safe. I could deal with a situation in a multitude of ways without causing pain or humiliation.
I have zero respect for my parents for using violence. I class them as pretty shit parents. It never worked and I'd be the kid standing there smirking saying...'that didn't hurt.' To which parents accepted the challenge and tried to make it hurt.
I don't agree with raising children to have a 'healthy fear' of authority. I'd rather have a child that felt they could challenge authority if they felt it was the right thing to do and not be faced with a violent backlash.
When I've seen children being hit by their parents in public I've stood and given a death stare. On a few occasions I've actually felt the need to voice my concern or disapproval and intervene.
Who decided what kind of hitting is acceptable and what isn't? None. None of it is acceptable!
I believe if a line is drawn and physical discipline was banned and children knew that society was saying violence towards children is totally unacceptable... then it might help a few realise that a situation they are in is actually abusive, rather than thinking it's the norm.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This really is a a difficult topic too speak about but should anybody really punished? Who really has the right or moral high ground too punish anybody or thing? |
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"I grew up when I knew my boundaries, why because when I over stepped the mark I got shouted at, if I did it again I got warned of a hiding, usually I ended up getting it due to pushing my luck too far.
Did I fear my parents hell no, I lost all my respect for my father, but that was for something totally unrelated.
I think that if you mention a punishment to a child, you should carry it through. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This really is a a difficult topic too speak about but should anybody really punished? Who really has the right or moral high ground too punish anybody or thing?"
So we just leave sex offenders roaming the streets then?
My children are my responsibility everything they do as a child comes back on me, I have ever rights to teach my kids right from wrong and if that involves some kind of punishment then so be it, its my duty as a mother to bring my kids up to be law abiding members of the community |
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"This really is a a difficult topic too speak about but should anybody really punished? Who really has the right or moral high ground too punish anybody or thing?
So we just leave sex offenders roaming the streets then?
My children are my responsibility everything they do as a child comes back on me, I have ever rights to teach my kids right from wrong and if that involves some kind of punishment then so be it, its my duty as a mother to bring my kids up to be law abiding members of the community "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it ok too bomb fuck out of other people's countries? I think most will agree no it isn't ok, but we still do it for world peace what a load of shite. We all do things in life that we regret I was never smacked nor did I smack my own kids but where only human and we all make mistakes so I really think the ?? too this topic is there isn't a right answer.So do what you feel is right for you but don't be prententous and judge people until you have walked a mile in there ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This really is a a difficult topic too speak about but should anybody really punished? Who really has the right or moral high ground too punish anybody or thing?
So we just leave sex offenders roaming the streets then?
My children are my responsibility everything they do as a child comes back on me, I have ever rights to teach my kids right from wrong and if that involves some kind of punishment then so be it, its my duty as a mother to bring my kids up to be law abiding members of the community "
naughty those people who allegedly sentence those dirty cunts to prison are the most savage mob of peadophiles that roam the fucking earth. People are like arseholes love we all have an opinion so please don't jump on the moral high ground your opinion is as valid as mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This really is a a difficult topic too speak about but should anybody really punished? Who really has the right or moral high ground too punish anybody or thing?
So we just leave sex offenders roaming the streets then?
My children are my responsibility everything they do as a child comes back on me, I have ever rights to teach my kids right from wrong and if that involves some kind of punishment then so be it, its my duty as a mother to bring my kids up to be law abiding members of the community naughty those people who allegedly sentence those dirty cunts to prison are the most savage mob of peadophiles that roam the fucking earth. People are like arseholes love we all have an opinion so please don't jump on the moral high ground your opinion is as valid as mine"
i should of said there opinions are like arsehole we've all got one lol |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"over a million crimes are commited in the uk by minors, as opposed to 600,000 on average during the 1980s. so yes i would say kids are worse now than thirty year ago"
I blame the Tories for closing the pits. Miners were too busy to commit crime whilst they were working  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx"
I'd class pushing, smacking and shaking as violent. If I was stood in the office and my colleague shook, smacked or pushed me... It would be deemed violent? Yet when it's directed at a child... It's not. Seems common on this thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx
I'd class pushing, smacking and shaking as violent. If I was stood in the office and my colleague shook, smacked or pushed me... It would be deemed violent? Yet when it's directed at a child... It's not. Seems common on this thread. "
There's no excuse and I'm not making one. I was ill. Thankfully my daughter's and have a very healthy relasionship because I had the strength to leave. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx
I'd class pushing, smacking and shaking as violent. If I was stood in the office and my colleague shook, smacked or pushed me... It would be deemed violent? Yet when it's directed at a child... It's not. Seems common on this thread.
There's no excuse and I'm not making one. I was ill. Thankfully my daughter's and have a very healthy relasionship because I had the strength to leave. Xxx"
Think you're very brave saying that, x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx
I'd class pushing, smacking and shaking as violent. If I was stood in the office and my colleague shook, smacked or pushed me... It would be deemed violent? Yet when it's directed at a child... It's not. Seems common on this thread.
There's no excuse and I'm not making one. I was ill. Thankfully my daughter's and have a very healthy relasionship because I had the strength to leave. Xxx
Think you're very brave saying that, x "
Thank you. The most important thing is that I recognise that I was in the wrong. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know to be honest, I was smacked as a kid and it didn't do me any harm, though I have chosen not to have kids. (I don't like them)
I personally think there is no deterrent for kids nowadays, how far do you really get with words? I mean a healthy fear of my parents was enough for me, but then I don't have kids so I may have old fashioned virtues. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I smacked my mum back when she smacked me. She didn't like it and didn't do it again.
I am constantly amazed that people think it's ok to assault children. |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx
I'd class pushing, smacking and shaking as violent. If I was stood in the office and my colleague shook, smacked or pushed me... It would be deemed violent? Yet when it's directed at a child... It's not. Seems common on this thread.
There's no excuse and I'm not making one. I was ill. Thankfully my daughter's and have a very healthy relasionship because I had the strength to leave. Xxx"
You knew it was wrong. You took steps to sort it. Many people would justify their behaviour instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I smacked my mum back when she smacked me. She didn't like it and didn't do it again.
I am constantly amazed that people think it's ok to assault children."
i bit my mum to try and get her to let go of me - only being taken inside not to drag me away from danger - so she bit me back - ok i never did it again but jees - i was about 3 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done some things in the name of punishment to my daughter's witch I'm deeply ashamed about. Nothing violent but I have lost control. Pushing, smacking, shaking, swearing and saying nasty things. I was in a very bad place. That isn't an excuse just a fact. Xxx
I'd class pushing, smacking and shaking as violent. If I was stood in the office and my colleague shook, smacked or pushed me... It would be deemed violent? Yet when it's directed at a child... It's not. Seems common on this thread.
There's no excuse and I'm not making one. I was ill. Thankfully my daughter's and have a very healthy relasionship because I had the strength to leave. Xxx
You knew it was wrong. You took steps to sort it. Many people would justify their behaviour instead. "
I'm a much better mother now. xxx |
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In my opinion, discipline starts from day one. As a newborn baby, they need routine as much as the care and loving. They will naturally try to push the boundaries as they don't know where they are yet.
I have four children and have found that to be key.
As they get a little older of course the tactic changes, sometimes there just isn't time to sit down and have a chat about what they did wrong. Sometimes a short sharp shock is what is needed as a deterrent associated with whatever they were doing or about to do. I am speaking about things that could be potentially dangerous, like running towards a road and not stopping when you tell them, about to reach up for something which may harm themselves. I have employed that tactic with all of my kids and honestly, by the time they are at School I never needed to give anymore short sharp shocks.
As someone else said, a look was enough. I love all my kids to bits as any parent does, and when I had to chastise them it truly used to break me but it was for their own safety.
My kids are all grown up now with the youngest being 15 and as tall as me, and I am very proud of how they have turned out.
I'm now taking cover to receive 'Incoming' |
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"In my opinion, discipline starts from day one. As a newborn baby, they need routine as much as the care and loving. They will naturally try to push the boundaries as they don't know where they are yet.
I have four children and have found that to be key.
As they get a little older of course the tactic changes, sometimes there just isn't time to sit down and have a chat about what they did wrong. Sometimes a short sharp shock is what is needed as a deterrent associated with whatever they were doing or about to do. I am speaking about things that could be potentially dangerous, like running towards a road and not stopping when you tell them, about to reach up for something which may harm themselves. I have employed that tactic with all of my kids and honestly, by the time they are at School I never needed to give anymore short sharp shocks.
As someone else said, a look was enough. I love all my kids to bits as any parent does, and when I had to chastise them it truly used to break me but it was for their own safety.
My kids are all grown up now with the youngest being 15 and as tall as me, and I am very proud of how they have turned out.
I'm now taking cover to receive 'Incoming' "
I don't think tapping a kid firmly on a hand that's reaching for a boiling kettle is the same as deliberately inflicting pain in order to reinforce the message that certain behaviour isn't acceptable.
I recall seeing a 10 year old boy caned in front of the entire school when I was 9 that was enough to convince me that inflicting pain and humiliation on a child is not the way forward. |
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"In my opinion, discipline starts from day one. As a newborn baby, they need routine as much as the care and loving. They will naturally try to push the boundaries as they don't know where they are yet.
I have four children and have found that to be key.
As they get a little older of course the tactic changes, sometimes there just isn't time to sit down and have a chat about what they did wrong. Sometimes a short sharp shock is what is needed as a deterrent associated with whatever they were doing or about to do. I am speaking about things that could be potentially dangerous, like running towards a road and not stopping when you tell them, about to reach up for something which may harm themselves. I have employed that tactic with all of my kids and honestly, by the time they are at School I never needed to give anymore short sharp shocks.
As someone else said, a look was enough. I love all my kids to bits as any parent does, and when I had to chastise them it truly used to break me but it was for their own safety.
My kids are all grown up now with the youngest being 15 and as tall as me, and I am very proud of how they have turned out.
I'm now taking cover to receive 'Incoming'
I don't think tapping a kid firmly on a hand that's reaching for a boiling kettle is the same as deliberately inflicting pain in order to reinforce the message that certain behaviour isn't acceptable.
I recall seeing a 10 year old boy caned in front of the entire school when I was 9 that was enough to convince me that inflicting pain and humiliation on a child is not the way forward."
I wholeheartedly agree with you on that one! That is more of a power kick for the teacher and shouldn't be allowed.....which of course it isn't now. |
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"
I don't think tapping a kid firmly on a hand that's reaching for a boiling kettle is the same as deliberately inflicting pain in order to reinforce the message that certain behaviour isn't acceptable.
I recall seeing a 10 year old boy caned in front of the entire school when I was 9 that was enough to convince me that inflicting pain and humiliation on a child is not the way forward.
I wholeheartedly agree with you on that one! That is more of a power kick for the teacher and shouldn't be allowed.....which of course it isn't now."
My point made further up was that its difficult to know where the line should be drawn, what degree of pain is acceptable? I don't even want to start thinking like that in connection with anybody I love. |
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"
I don't think tapping a kid firmly on a hand that's reaching for a boiling kettle is the same as deliberately inflicting pain in order to reinforce the message that certain behaviour isn't acceptable.
I recall seeing a 10 year old boy caned in front of the entire school when I was 9 that was enough to convince me that inflicting pain and humiliation on a child is not the way forward.
I wholeheartedly agree with you on that one! That is more of a power kick for the teacher and shouldn't be allowed.....which of course it isn't now.
My point made further up was that its difficult to know where the line should be drawn, what degree of pain is acceptable? I don't even want to start thinking like that in connection with anybody I love."
I know what you mean, best not to think about it, thankfully it was abolished years ago.
In relation to the short sharp shock, it's not really about the pain in my experience and more about literally that shock. I just has to be enough to focus the attention, followed up with a very firm 'NO' and then explain what they did wrong. |
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