FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fab Disillusionment - No shows & Liars
Fab Disillusionment - No shows & Liars
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I really want to meet someone I connect with but I'm struggling with fab.
This week I had four carefully vetted coffee dates as I would really like to meet someone I feel physically and mentally attracted to for kinkery as i find this kind of situation much more appealing.
On Monday the chap just stopped contacting me, he logged on but didn't read my messages. On Thursday the chap I met got seriously cagey.. It turned out he knew me from my daughters school. I met him briefly but he revealed he's married which I explicitly state I am not looking for. On Friday another chap who I'd had a lot of conversation with and seemed extremely keen also stopped contacting me. Not the first time I've been stood up from here. I fully understand that sometimes people have to cancel due to personal circumstances but this was more than that.
Any tips? I do feel like throwing in the towel. It's been incredibly time consuming and stressful and even though I'm very much craving sex after a six months abstinence I'm wondering if it's worth it.   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Maybe you need a dating site not a swinging site? "
Yeah! Maybe your right. I was reccomended fab by a friend. I do like the idea of exploring the more swinging side of things but wanted to do this with a regular FB. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have had men not show up before which is one reason why i used to arrange to meet more than one, i think most men want to meet just for casual sex maybe not the ones on the forums though. You will always get the ones who may get bored with chatting online after a while, the ones who arent realy serious about meeting they just like imagining what it would be like. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your status says you had a good egg. I would suggest a more stringent pre meet process and a bit of patience. "
Yes, I did meet one nice chap and we may form a friendship. I feel like I couldn't really be anymore stringent as I talk to people a lot and try and ascertain whether we are on the same page and suitably matched. Maybe it need to chalk it up to a bad week. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So arranging meets is getting too stressful.
The volume of messages is overwhelming.
You're craving sex.
Try a swing club. You get to meet real people and can see right away if they appeal physically and if they're nice with it.
I've never been clubbing and come away disappointed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everything you say is common. And no matter how much I've tried 'talking', the conversation normally fizzles out. Maybe they find what they need somewhere else. Or maybe I wasn't quick impugn to say 'fancy a shag' and getting to the point. But,
Keep looking, the FAB place has a lot of members. It's just finding the right people.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your status says you had a good egg. I would suggest a more stringent pre meet process and a bit of patience.
Yes, I did meet one nice chap and we may form a friendship. I feel like I couldn't really be anymore stringent as I talk to people a lot and try and ascertain whether we are on the same page and suitably matched. Maybe it need to chalk it up to a bad week. "
I'd just put it down as a bad week, next week someone great may turn up. Maybe just do one coffee next week and do real life stuff otherwise. Then you're wasting 30 mins of your life if it doesnt go great. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well OP, your profile is pretty honest about what you are looking for. Have you done any searching yourself, or are you just sifting through the millions of messages that you most get every day  "
You hit the nail on the head! I haven't done any sifting. Just been trying to unsuccessfully keep up with my bulging inbox. I thought I was something of an acquired taste but maybe it wouldn't hurt to be a little more proactive in my search. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your status says you had a good egg. I would suggest a more stringent pre meet process and a bit of patience.
Yes, I did meet one nice chap and we may form a friendship. I feel like I couldn't really be anymore stringent as I talk to people a lot and try and ascertain whether we are on the same page and suitably matched. Maybe it need to chalk it up to a bad week.
I'd just put it down as a bad week, next week someone great may turn up. Maybe just do one coffee next week and do real life stuff otherwise. Then you're wasting 30 mins of your life if it doesnt go great. "
Yes! I like this plan. Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it depends how often you meet and how many people you talk to
I have noticed that everybody who says they are let down a lot either talk to lots of people or meet regular, i suppose it stands to reason the more you talk to the more chances you have of being let down
I only meet every three month or so and dont really engage in conversations between meets, but when i am looking i only talk to one person at a time, i dont don't talk to several hoping one will turn out ok and that seems to work for me
I find the less people you talk to the more chances you have of finding a good one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you've done pretty well to get 4 that you want coffee with! I rarely find anyone I even want to mail let alone get to the coffee stage.
If you take 'men' off your looking for list it takes you off the main searches and cuts down mail. It doesn't block men from mailing you though so you can go looking without your inbox constantly filling up.
Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I really want to meet someone I connect with but I'm struggling with fab.
This week I had four carefully vetted coffee dates as I would really like to meet someone I feel physically and mentally attracted to for kinkery as i find this kind of situation much more appealing.
On Monday the chap just stopped contacting me, he logged on but didn't read my messages. On Thursday the chap I met got seriously cagey.. It turned out he knew me from my daughters school. I met him briefly but he revealed he's married which I explicitly state I am not looking for. On Friday another chap who I'd had a lot of conversation with and seemed extremely keen also stopped contacting me. Not the first time I've been stood up from here. I fully understand that sometimes people have to cancel due to personal circumstances but this was more than that.
Any tips? I do feel like throwing in the towel. It's been incredibly time consuming and stressful and even though I'm very much craving sex after a six months abstinence I'm wondering if it's worth it. "
chin up OP think positively and take matters into your own hand by hiding your profile and only approaching guys who catch your eye.
I use this site in very much that way I do a lot of research by using the green arrow next to a name .
then I watch for a bit and then I only approach when I think yes they may be what I'm looking for .
all the time I'm doing this I am actively giving my true opinions in the forum in the hope of catching someone's eye like I'm hoping someone will catch my eye . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
It's not easy for any gender or demographic on fab , often very different reasons why that is ..it'sstill nnot easy..
Tips..
If your selection process worked to find a good egg re_iew what was different, often not what you said in what the others say.. learn from mistakes and most importantlyhave fun in whatever you're doing
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I really want to meet someone I connect with but I'm struggling with fab.
This week I had four carefully vetted coffee dates as I would really like to meet someone I feel physically and mentally attracted to for kinkery as i find this kind of situation much more appealing.
On Monday the chap just stopped contacting me, he logged on but didn't read my messages. On Thursday the chap I met got seriously cagey.. It turned out he knew me from my daughters school. I met him briefly but he revealed he's married which I explicitly state I am not looking for. On Friday another chap who I'd had a lot of conversation with and seemed extremely keen also stopped contacting me. Not the first time I've been stood up from here. I fully understand that sometimes people have to cancel due to personal circumstances but this was more than that.
Any tips? I do feel like throwing in the towel. It's been incredibly time consuming and stressful and even though I'm very much craving sex after a six months abstinence I'm wondering if it's worth it. "
As others of said perhaps you need to look for what you want not just the the messages you receive. Be fussy about the guys you chat to and be honest in what you are after and I'm sure you will strike gold. Hmm just done my self out of trying my luck with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *c-ukMan
over a year ago
Sevenoaks |
You say you logged on and a guy had not read your messages !! My heart bleeds, as a guy you get that with pretty much all messages every day of the week.
Your a gorgeous lady, and so as someone else in the chain already suggested just improve your vetting process, cast your line back in the water and you will have another 500 catches.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx"
All genders lie..  sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here."
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X"
Some may have that expectation , %tage wise wouldn't know , I doubt the folk who enjoy the site and all it offers think that way. no one.. ladies or couples as well as guys should have an expectation of sex .. we can all say no thanks..  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X"
I make it clear that I have a social meet first. Most guys are happy with that. I don't see the op as a timewaster as I too have had similar experiences.
Guys complain they can't get meets then when they do get one they get cold feet, don't turn up or stop contacting you. They could at least say sorry |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X
I make it clear that I have a social meet first. Most guys are happy with that. I don't see the op as a timewaster as I too have had similar experiences.
Guys complain they can't get meets then when they do get one they get cold feet, don't turn up or stop contacting you. They could at least say sorry "
I don't see her as a timewaster either. I just know how 'some' would see it. If they weren't getting their end away off a sex site xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X"
That's right. Unless it's made clear. A social meet. Women have to make things clear.
But not all men,  . A small percentage still have respect, and a 'sex site' doesn't change that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Negative verifications are the future if this site seeks to increase the percentage of genuine fabbers....if not then it's a case of spending a lot of time wading through **** to find the treasure! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have had similar experiences on here to you OP. Now I search for myself and never really expect anything, then if nothing happens, I'm not left feeling disappointed. I'd actually given up meeting people on here as it seemded too much hassle but messaged a guy a few weeks back just to compliment his pics. Never expected a reply but after a few messages we hit it off and are meeting Monday. I often think if you try too hard to find something, you never find it. Hope things improve for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my opinion, those that complain about FAB the loudest, or have the biggest disappointments over it are those that have the highest expectations of it.
I think anyone that comes onto this site, or into the whole swinging scene generally, with expectations are bound to be sorely disappointed and frustrated.
Taking it all with a pinch of salt, having no expectations of it, whilst maintaining your preferences and boundaries will inevitably reduce disappointment and frustration.
If and when something wonderful does happen it's all the more better |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think the OP had this pretty much nailed, parden the pun, but she is here to swing and have fun, but she wants to find the right guy to do it with.
Nothing wrong with that
Fab isnt just about fucking the first person you see is it?
Keep going, in every walk of life there are losers and there are winners, remember your a winner! There loss
Stick with it and you will find the right partner fbuddy whatever you want to call it and when you do wow its gunna be fun
Good luck xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If the common thread to our situation is ourselves, we have to take a close look at how we're doing things.
There will be issues of priorities for people and daytime meets conflict with a lot of jobs. I understand the need for socials first but wonder if you've considered cam chats prior to social meets in clubs. Clubs can cut some cheaters from being able to meet and also give you the chance to meet others for a chat that you've not arranged in advance. You can also choose to play with anyone new or premet.
It's a barrier that some guys won't like but you may find that those who agree are more likely to follow through.
Fab socials also give you a chance to meet a range of people, without sexual pressure.
Take a hard look at what common characteristics stand out about the failure guys this week. Whilst many guys say they want a nirvana of repeat fbs, the reality is that many more are easily led to very casual one offs. If you're OK looking for one offs, then meet again if it connects really well for you both, it might ease some of the issues that guys use in their heads to mess you about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Block all men and become the hunter rather than the hunted... There are decent guys out there but we find it is easier to go looking for them... Believe us it I just as hard work for couples to find decent guys as single women. Hubby insists that they have to be the sort of guy he would want to go out for a beer with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I really want to meet someone I connect with but I'm struggling with fab.
This week I had four carefully vetted coffee dates as I would really like to meet someone I feel physically and mentally attracted to for kinkery as i find this kind of situation much more appealing.
On Monday the chap just stopped contacting me, he logged on but didn't read my messages. On Thursday the chap I met got seriously cagey.. It turned out he knew me from my daughters school. I met him briefly but he revealed he's married which I explicitly state I am not looking for. On Friday another chap who I'd had a lot of conversation with and seemed extremely keen also stopped contacting me. Not the first time I've been stood up from here. I fully understand that sometimes people have to cancel due to personal circumstances but this was more than that.
Any tips? I do feel like throwing in the towel. It's been incredibly time consuming and stressful and even though I'm very much craving sex after a six months abstinence I'm wondering if it's worth it. "
I honestly don't get posts like this.
Being on Fab isn't mandatory. Fab is no more than a tool for meeting people, it's not the only one! If you're looking for a kettle you look online: Amazon, eBay...if you can't find what you want you log off and go outdoors to the shops. You don't complain to Google!
Likewise, if you're not finding what you want on Fab look elsewhere!
Several meets cancelling in the same week suggests you're investing too much time on too many people and it's not working.
No doubt the white knights will already have posted telling you it's their loss...you're gorgeous...they'd never let you down...blah blah...but be honest with yourself: when you've worked out what you really want you'll know whether this is the site for you or not.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it depends how often you meet and how many people you talk to
I have noticed that everybody who says they are let down a lot either talk to lots of people or meet regular, i suppose it stands to reason the more you talk to the more chances you have of being let down
I only meet every three month or so and dont really engage in conversations between meets, but when i am looking i only talk to one person at a time, i dont don't talk to several hoping one will turn out ok and that seems to work for me
I find the less people you talk to the more chances you have of finding a good one "
My approach too! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the OP had this pretty much nailed, parden the pun, but she is here to swing and have fun, but she wants to find the right guy to do it with.
Nothing wrong with that
Fab isnt just about fucking the first person you see is it?
Keep going, in every walk of life there are losers and there are winners, remember your a winner! There loss
Stick with it and you will find the right partner fbuddy whatever you want to call it and when you do wow its gunna be fun
Good luck xx"
Thank you! Everyone has to start somewhere. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There's someone out there for you Pillows.
You are a very beautiful, intelligent woman. What's not to love?
As for the kinkiness have you tried your local kink Munches?
X"
Thank you. I have been to a munch before and very much enjoyed it. I had no desire to go to a party or get into the scene. I do like some kinkery but it wasn't for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx"
Wow! High praise indeed from such a beautiful woman. Have previously perved your profile and had a touch of the green eyed monster. You look amazing! Some goals for me right there!
I suppose with the lack of face pictures on here there's always going to be a larger element of trickery. I shall aim to be more discerning on here and more straight forward about my intentions on regular dating sites.
Not before taking a bit of a break from meet ups I think. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm looking for something similar but without the swinging element so obviously non-swinging sites are working for me.
I've also slowed down a lot, controlled my sex drive (kind of, it's still high but i'm just not fucking anyone straight away now), and taking my time talking to men instead.
I think if more men had decent profiles on here it would be a lot easier for women to find what they want as i am approaching guys on other sites who do have a decent enough profile and not waiting around for people to message me and it's more successful (from my end).
Good luck, i'm sure you'll find what you want it will just take a while. I spent some time on here pissed off about how crap it was when looking for something more than a fuck. Tried socials and munches, they were ok but the men who fancied me at those tended to be mainly sex focused as well and it put me off them plus i didn't find them physically attractive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *anklerMan
over a year ago
Suffolk |
"There's someone out there for you Pillows.
You are a very beautiful, intelligent woman. What's not to love?
As for the kinkiness have you tried your local kink Munches?
X
Thank you. I have been to a munch before and very much enjoyed it. I had no desire to go to a party or get into the scene. I do like some kinkery but it wasn't for me. "
Fair enough.
I wish you luck and hope you find what you are looking for. That will be one lucky man
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think being on a sex site for 3 month's and expecting to meet the man of your dreams is a bit delusional x"
Is she looking for the man of her derams though or connection with someone she can trust for sex, rather than the act of sex itself with just anyone for the sake of it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm looking for something similar but without the swinging element so obviously non-swinging sites are working for me.
I've also slowed down a lot, controlled my sex drive (kind of, it's still high but i'm just not fucking anyone straight away now), and taking my time talking to men instead.
I think if more men had decent profiles on here it would be a lot easier for women to find what they want as i am approaching guys on other sites who do have a decent enough profile and not waiting around for people to message me and it's more successful (from my end).
Good luck, i'm sure you'll find what you want it will just take a while. I spent some time on here pissed off about how crap it was when looking for something more than a fuck. Tried socials and munches, they were ok but the men who fancied me at those tended to be mainly sex focused as well and it put me off them plus i didn't find them physically attractive."
That's true. I put a fair amount of effort into writing my profile. Admittedly writing comes very naturally to me and hopefully the reader will get a good sense of what I'm looking for.
A lot of the time you are having to gauge whether you'd click with someone from a few cock shots and two sentences (if you're lucky) which is by no means an easy task.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think being on a sex site for 3 month's and expecting to meet the man of your dreams is a bit delusional x"
I might suggest that you were a bit delusional also if you thought I was on here to meet the man of my dreams but I wouldn't dream of being so rude!
I knew it might take some time. Time is not an issue for me. It's more a sense of disillusionment hence the title of the post. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think being on a sex site for 3 month's and expecting to meet the man of your dreams is a bit delusional x
Is she looking for the man of her derams though or connection with someone she can trust for sex, rather than the act of sex itself with just anyone for the sake of it?"
Exactly this! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
3 let downs in 1 week?
Maybe you're just a poor judge of character?
I expect people are right though. It's everyone else's fault.
I'm a bloke with no meets and very little interest. I'd never start a thread about it though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
would agree with a lot of the comments on here about clubs and social. do like a good social myself and after attending social quite often find people message me.
now I have a few good friends and people to play with I very rarely send out to many new messages.
just tend to meet at clubs and socials |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm looking for something similar but without the swinging element so obviously non-swinging sites are working for me.
I've also slowed down a lot, controlled my sex drive (kind of, it's still high but i'm just not fucking anyone straight away now), and taking my time talking to men instead.
I think if more men had decent profiles on here it would be a lot easier for women to find what they want as i am approaching guys on other sites who do have a decent enough profile and not waiting around for people to message me and it's more successful (from my end).
Good luck, i'm sure you'll find what you want it will just take a while. I spent some time on here pissed off about how crap it was when looking for something more than a fuck. Tried socials and munches, they were ok but the men who fancied me at those tended to be mainly sex focused as well and it put me off them plus i didn't find them physically attractive.
That's true. I put a fair amount of effort into writing my profile. Admittedly writing comes very naturally to me and hopefully the reader will get a good sense of what I'm looking for.
A lot of the time you are having to gauge whether you'd click with someone from a few cock shots and two sentences (if you're lucky) which is by no means an easy task. "
Maybe fab could put on the join up page that having a decent profile will help, with a few tips. Idk.
But yeah i'm sure i've written off a lot of guys i might have been interested in if they'd had a profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe you are just trying too hard to find a connection. Relax a bit meet a few people for what this site is for and see what happens. "
Turning up for a coffee in a wedding dress might put a few men off |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Maybe you are just trying too hard to find a connection. Relax a bit meet a few people for what this site is for and see what happens.
Turning up for a coffee in a wedding dress might put a few men off "
Oh FFS! I knew I was going wrong somewhere. Maybe if I just bring along the promise rings and a chastity device instead? Although I highly suspect that there might be a few fabbers that'd be over the moon if I did. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"would agree with a lot of the comments on here about clubs and social. do like a good social myself and after attending social quite often find people message me.
now I have a few good friends and people to play with I very rarely send out to many new messages.
just tend to meet at clubs and socials"
I think I might go along to a BBWs night. Not to play but to get a sense of whether it's for me and also who's out there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *anklerMan
over a year ago
Suffolk |
"Maybe you are just trying too hard to find a connection. Relax a bit meet a few people for what this site is for and see what happens.
Turning up for a coffee in a wedding dress might put a few men off
Oh FFS! I knew I was going wrong somewhere. Maybe if I just bring along the promise rings and a chastity device instead? Although I highly suspect that there might be a few fabbers that'd be over the moon if I did. "
You turning up for coffee in a wedding dress for me would make me go weak at the knees. There's something just dead sexy about it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Getting stood up is nothing you should take personally on fab or on a dating site. It's just how things go, you had a bad week, but you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette. If you're looking for a regular FB or two, then it's just a matter of time before you come across the right one. Instant gratification on FAB is not going to happen, but one week is a very small time period to let it get to you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X"
One of the main reasons I always make it very clear the first meet is social only. It clears out the instashag types as we're not compatible.
If they get past my face pic and still want to meet for just a coffee I know it's worth leaving the house. I've never been stood up. Had people cancel but never last minute. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X
One of the main reasons I always make it very clear the first meet is social only. It clears out the instashag types as we're not compatible.
If they get past my face pic and still want to meet for just a coffee I know it's worth leaving the house. I've never been stood up. Had people cancel but never last minute. "
agree with both your posts scarlet plus she can use the little green button next to a name it really is great for seeing the truth nature of site users and whether they flip flop depending on which way the wind blows . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It may be the length of your profile, most penises can't read while erect. It might be a slog finding a mental connection, when most are looking for a genital one.
Rome wasn't built in a day and other such insertable cliche.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I really want to meet someone I connect with but I'm struggling with fab.
This week I had four carefully vetted coffee dates as I would really like to meet someone I feel physically and mentally attracted to for kinkery as i find this kind of situation much more
On Monday the chap just stopped contacting me, he logged on but didn't read my messages. On Thursday the chap I met got seriously cagey.. It turned out he knew me from my daughters school. I met him briefly but he revealed he's married which I explicitly state I am not looking for. On Friday another chap who I'd had a lot of conversation with and seemed extremely keen also stopped contacting me. Not the first time I've been stood up from here. I fully understand that sometimes people have to cancel due to personal circumstances but this was more than that.
Any tips? I do feel like throwing in the towel. It's been incredibly time consuming and stressful and even though I'm very much craving sex after a six months abstinence I'm wondering if it's worth it. "
I feel your pain OP, I've had a similar experience of a man turning into Willow the Wisp and crappy excuses. The way I see it, it's their loss
Don't give up, there are some really genuine, lovely blokes on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically. You're fit as fuck and men are going to lie their way into the 'prize' (getting to bed you!) it's the curse of being a pretty woman since the dawn of time.
I suggest you concentrate more on prioritising men from 'real' dating sites where you can make them wait for sex and use this as a backup plan. That's what I found works better.
Good luck Hun xx
All genders lie.. sad but true.
As for making them wait from real dating sites .. ..I must have missed the memo that says ladies must have sex on here.
Well they don't but I bet a massive percentage of men that meet off here and don't get a shag would call her a timewaster as that's what they thought they were meeting for. X
One of the main reasons I always make it very clear the first meet is social only. It clears out the instashag types as we're not compatible.
If they get past my face pic and still want to meet for just a coffee I know it's worth leaving the house. I've never been stood up. Had people cancel but never last minute.
agree with both your posts scarlet plus she can use the little green button next to a name it really is great for seeing the truth nature of site users and whether they flip flop depending on which way the wind blows . "
No need to hit my green arrow. I flip flop like a flaccid cock on a 90 year old. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
