FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > helping your ex?
helping your ex?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Both me and my ex help each other out with things, picking up shop etc. we're still good friends and go for family days out with our kids. I wouldn't be happy for anyone to tell me I couldn't do that anymore which is probably why I'm looking for things more along a FWB arrangement. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not."
I'd have to pay her a little visit, late in the evening for a chin wag.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not."
This was one thing that bugged me with my ex. His ex was constantly asking him to go around fix some something or help her, now I wouldn't mind at first but then it got tedious as she had a brother over the road and dad. And she's often throw the kids in his face as a guilt tactic. I knew exactly what she was up to, men seem oblivious when it comes to things like this but I can read other woman very well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both me and my ex help each other out with things, picking up shop etc. we're still good friends and go for family days out with our kids. I wouldn't be happy for anyone to tell me I couldn't do that anymore which is probably why I'm looking for things more along a FWB arrangement. "
It's great that some couples can be like this and it should be. But life's not always that easy, my kids dad and I haven't spoke a word for 5 years I don't even have a contact number for him incase anything happened to the kids. He just refuses to communicate with me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex helped me when I lived alone with our children.
Only with putting furniture together (like the eldest's bed from IKEA) or going up in the attic for stuff because I hate spiders.
No idea what his girlfriend thought.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not.
This was one thing that bugged me with my ex. His ex was constantly asking him to go around fix some something or help her, now I wouldn't mind at first but then it got tedious as she had a brother over the road and dad. And she's often throw the kids in his face as a guilt tactic. I knew exactly what she was up to, men seem oblivious when it comes to things like this but I can read other woman very well. "
me too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex is my biggest form of support, especially when it comes to my kids and ours. When i had my cancer scare my then long term boyfriend dumped me for someone else and he was my support then too.
It wouldn't bother me if someone i was seeing was supporting their ex UNLESS it was unnecessary and they had mailicious reasons for taking p his time.
I'm highly independent though so unless the ex was disabled it probably would piss me off a bit and i'd see their ex as pathetic for being so needy and maybe start questioning why he is supporting someone capable of doing their own shit and then dump him lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nope
Used to help my ex while things were amicable
Not anymore as she threw it all back at me again. Just like the last time so no. No more.
She has a partner let him do it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
On a related note...are me and my ex the only people who, when we have the usual childcare-and-maintenance meeting, check diaries to see we're not planning to visit the same swingers club on the same night? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago
staffordshire |
I ask my ex for help from time to time, were still good friends and chat regularly. However i can see the other side of it, with him now having a partner, she doesnt like the fact we still speak let alone see each other. but thats her problem not mine, there is nothing to be jealous over and i wouldnt take him back. But i understand her perspective |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My ex is one of my best friends."
one of mine was till he sadly passed away from cancer.. the other i cant stand but we have kids so yes if i could help i would although he never returns the favour.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nope
Used to help my ex while things were amicable
Not anymore as she threw it all back at me again. Just like the last time so no. No more.
She has a partner let him do it"
i have neva asked my exes for nowt. They were no gud wen married. Both my ex husbands did nowt for me yet helped others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Tbh. No I wouldn't like it if he was her beck and call all the time. I'd have to question it... I'm only human!
As a rule I am not the jealous type but if my instincts tell me different to what he's telling me, I'm usually right to question!!
As for my ex.. If he was dating I'd leave him too it. I wouldn't want to make his new girlfriend feel uncomfortable! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not."
Depends if they had kids together
If they did then I'd see doing a bit of DIY in their home or taking her shopping as much benifit for the kids
If there were no kids involved she can do her own stuff, lazy cow  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not.
Depends if they had kids together
If they did then I'd see doing a bit of DIY in their home or taking her shopping as much benifit for the kids
If there were no kids involved she can do her own stuff, lazy cow "
Yeah, this. Although this is also why I wouldn't get in a relationship with anyone who had kids. Not interested in someone who is tied to an ex forever. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not.
Depends if they had kids together
If they did then I'd see doing a bit of DIY in their home or taking her shopping as much benifit for the kids
If there were no kids involved she can do her own stuff, lazy cow "
I just see it different I do my shopping myself and any DIY, don't think you need to ask an EX for things like that personally |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not."
My partner still does things for his ex.. She is the mother of his children so if it's for the children far enough but otherwise I think she's just being lazy
I have and never will ask my ex for help with anything.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Both me and my ex help each other out with things, picking up shop etc. we're still good friends and go for family days out with our kids. I wouldn't be happy for anyone to tell me I couldn't do that anymore which is probably why I'm looking for things more along a FWB arrangement. "
This was me too. I even had my ex mother in law one year to give my ex a break. When he moved into his new flat I went down to see it. My current partner wasn't too pleased but knew better than to comment. My daughters like the fact we still get on and they have families of their own.
I would avoid anyone who didn't like the fact the father of my children and I were on friendly terms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yep. My kids dad and I are friends. We spend a lot of time together. Dinner, favours, lifts, diy, whatever. We share the work of raising the kids and anything that goes with it.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My first wife collects a particular 80s toy, so if I see one while I'm out and about I'll buy it for her, on the way to pick up my daughter I'll ring to ask if she needs anything picking up, I've been known to give her the odd lift places, and I'm happy to do these things because she would never ask me to do them, but after being nearly 24 hours in labour to give me a daughter, and helping me keep a good relationship with my daughter while I was deep in a depression, and on the verge of a breakdown, picking up a loaf and a bottle of milk is the least I can do, some women don't understand this though, and get jealous of the fact that I've discovered that she's a really good friend.
My second wife hated her, and saw her as a threat, she wasn't.
My sons mother got jealous of her too, of I get into a relationship ever again, I'm going to take her round to my first wife's house, that way she can see how much she loves her husband, maybe then I can have a bit of peace lokl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both me and my ex help each other out with things, picking up shop etc. we're still good friends and go for family days out with our kids. I wouldn't be happy for anyone to tell me I couldn't do that anymore which is probably why I'm looking for things more along a FWB arrangement.
This was me too. I even had my ex mother in law one year to give my ex a break. When he moved into his new flat I went down to see it. My current partner wasn't too pleased but knew better than to comment. My daughters like the fact we still get on and they have families of their own.
I would avoid anyone who didn't like the fact the father of my children and I were on friendly terms. "
My daughter hates it, she can't get away with anything because we communicate lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Both me and my ex help each other out with things, picking up shop etc. we're still good friends and go for family days out with our kids. I wouldn't be happy for anyone to tell me I couldn't do that anymore which is probably why I'm looking for things more along a FWB arrangement.
This was me too. I even had my ex mother in law one year to give my ex a break. When he moved into his new flat I went down to see it. My current partner wasn't too pleased but knew better than to comment. My daughters like the fact we still get on and they have families of their own.
I would avoid anyone who didn't like the fact the father of my children and I were on friendly terms.
My daughter hates it, she can't get away with anything because we communicate lol"
I think my daughters felt "secure" with our united front. They couldn't divide and conquer.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not.
Depends if they had kids together
If they did then I'd see doing a bit of DIY in their home or taking her shopping as much benifit for the kids
If there were no kids involved she can do her own stuff, lazy cow
I just see it different I do my shopping myself and any DIY, don't think you need to ask an EX for things like that personally "
Nor do I
I split with my ex 9 years ago and I have three kids, I've not had anythjng off him since we split, not a penny towards the kids, not a pair of shoes, a school uniform nothing, I wouldn't ask him for anything I would sooner walk home with my shopping than ask him for a lift
But not everybody is me, and the question was would it bother me if a partner of mine helped his ex and in all honestly my answer is no, so long as they had kids  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On a related note...are me and my ex the only people who, when we have the usual childcare-and-maintenance meeting, check diaries to see we're not planning to visit the same swingers club on the same night?"
That's a good arrangement to have. I went to cupids with a friend on Saturday night which is the club me and my ex before last used to go to. I hadn't been since we split up, and all the way there I was convinced I was going to bump into her. I didn't, all was good! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ladies if you had a partner who's ex wanted him to do jobs for her or take her shopping and he did that would it bother you? I myself woudnt ask any of my exes to help me regardless of then being single or not.
Depends if they had kids together
If they did then I'd see doing a bit of DIY in their home or taking her shopping as much benifit for the kids
If there were no kids involved she can do her own stuff, lazy cow
I just see it different I do my shopping myself and any DIY, don't think you need to ask an EX for things like that personally
Nor do I
I split with my ex 9 years ago and I have three kids, I've not had anythjng off him since we split, not a penny towards the kids, not a pair of shoes, a school uniform nothing, I wouldn't ask him for anything I would sooner walk home with my shopping than ask him for a lift
But not everybody is me, and the question was would it bother me if a partner of mine helped his ex and in all honestly my answer is no, so long as they had kids "
No it never bothered me initially. Until it started to get tedious and every time we had plans or similar she was on the phone and he lived miles away yet her brother over the road and her mum dad literally 10 mins away. She was basically taking the piss which I could see straight away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it would depend, what if an ex has a lifelong illness and was disabled or you have children together and the job being done benefits them too. I get it then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
