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Here's a Thread Where You're Actually Encouraged to Judge! (It also names 'n' shames but don't tell)
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(and yes, that must be the longest thread title ever  )
So, picture the scene:
You are 38 miles from your car, the last bus for the winter has just left, you are 10 minutes into your 3-day hike when 'someone'* announces that she has forgotten to pack the tent pegs and poles. Heavy rain is forecast all night 
You are not required to judge guilt or innocence (I'm sure she'll be along shortly to meekly admit her culpability) but only the punishment.
She wants to draw a line in a sort of "all's well that ends well" kind of way, whereas I was thinking more for her to have to organise a Carry-On style Roman Orgy with numerous, nubile, naked nymphs along with grapes, wine, scented oils and more. 
What do you think would make a good punishment?
Mr ddc
* Ps I know I promised to name & shame, but I didn't want to get in trouble with the mods for saying "Mrs ddc", so I didn't, right?  |
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"(and yes, that must be the longest thread title ever )
So, picture the scene:
You are 38 miles from your car, the last bus for the winter has just left, you are 10 minutes into your 3-day hike when 'someone'* announces that she has forgotten to pack the tent pegs and poles. Heavy rain is forecast all night
You are not required to judge guilt or innocence (I'm sure she'll be along shortly to meekly admit her culpability) but only the punishment.
She wants to draw a line in a sort of "all's well that ends well" kind of way, whereas I was thinking more for her to have to organise a Carry-On style Roman Orgy with numerous, nubile, naked nymphs along with grapes, wine, scented oils and more.
What do you think would make a good punishment?
Mr ddc
* Ps I know I promised to name & shame, but I didn't want to get in trouble with the mods for saying "Mrs ddc", so I didn't, right? "
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So, get her to organise the orgy and then arrange for her to be tied and gagged to a nearby tree where she can watch the unfolding festivities but cannot partake, except to be occasionally tickled by passers by.
?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"(and yes, that must be the longest thread title ever )
So, picture the scene:
You are 38 miles from your car, the last bus for the winter has just left, you are 10 minutes into your 3-day hike when 'someone'* announces that she has forgotten to pack the tent pegs and poles. Heavy rain is forecast all night
You are not required to judge guilt or innocence (I'm sure she'll be along shortly to meekly admit her culpability) but only the punishment.
She wants to draw a line in a sort of "all's well that ends well" kind of way, whereas I was thinking more for her to have to organise a Carry-On style Roman Orgy with numerous, nubile, naked nymphs along with grapes, wine, scented oils and more.
What do you think would make a good punishment?
Mr ddc
* Ps I know I promised to name & shame, but I didn't want to get in trouble with the mods for saying "Mrs ddc", so I didn't, right? "
Well not inviting her obviously.... but that wouldn't go well at all for you, so I'd say make the framework up that she forgot, tie her to it and make her watch you until she's really sorry  |
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I reckon she has to get on all fours and be a human tent support...you can canvas her up and get shelter from the elements and if you place yourself correctly in the "tent" you could get a campers 69 into the bargain! |
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I was going to say how badly does someone have to piss you off before you don't want to have sex with them?
Fortunately for me a five minute rant (which was mild given how bad my gaff was, I'm sure you'll agree. Even I berated myself for longer) and it was business as usual.
Mr DDC is just the best.
Mrs DDC
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"Well not inviting her obviously.... but that wouldn't go well at all for you, so I'd say make the framework up that she forgot, tie her to it and make her watch you until she's really sorry "
My version was better  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"You mean you didn't make a list before packing and ensure everything was ticked off before setting out? Then you only have yourself to blame, I fear."
Mr ddc should have had a spreadsheet for this already on the system.
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"You mean you didn't make a list before packing and ensure everything was ticked off before setting out? Then you only have yourself to blame, I fear."
Oh Ligeia, what a can of worms you have opened...
Version III of the spreadsheet had been duly printed out, along with a separate column for ticking.
But "some people" like to make fun of my obsessive ways while feeling they are above such meaningless tasks.
Consequently she also forgot her hat and her snacks (admittedly I may have sniggered at those two)
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Get her to whittle the pegs from fallen twigs.
That was my very own Bear Grylls job, (he left me to do the cooking  )
He sorted some sapling tent poles too. Again, how great is Mr DDC?
Mrs DDC"
You know he's my hero. Is there anything that man can't do?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all your fault. You as Man do the shelter stuff, and killing things as necessary. Mrs looks after cooking and wet wipes. Let that be lesson to you! |
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"Get her to whittle the pegs from fallen twigs.
That was my very own Bear Grylls job, (he left me to do the cooking )
He sorted some sapling tent poles too. Again, how great is Mr DDC?
Mrs DDC"
Oi
Stop creeping.
You know fine well Bear Grylls wouldn't have managed to cut both his thumb and his shirt while whittling  |
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Hmmmm....
This sounds like a team event to me..
Seems you are both to blame for the lacking of pegs and poles, therefore you should punish each other, taking it in turns to deal out the penalty..
Maybe, a good whipping with some sticks of celery whilst tied up with the tent guy lines would be apt..
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"You mean you didn't make a list before packing and ensure everything was ticked off before setting out? Then you only have yourself to blame, I fear.
Mr ddc should have had a spreadsheet for this already on the system.
"
Obviously that's exactly what he has done.............
Only I didn't read it properly (I have recommended that tent and poles/pegs be 2 separate items in future to help me)
Mrs DDC |
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"PS Have I diverted attention away from any punishment threats?
Mrs DDC"
Punishment? You're supposed to be in charge, can't you delegate and manage people? The poor girl probably had lot's of costumes to pack, plus make up etc.
Get a grip man! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"You mean you didn't make a list before packing and ensure everything was ticked off before setting out? Then you only have yourself to blame, I fear.
Mr ddc should have had a spreadsheet for this already on the system.
Obviously that's exactly what he has done.............
Only I didn't read it properly (I have recommended that tent and poles/pegs be 2 separate items in future to help me)
Mrs DDC"
Continuous improvement plans... I'm sure he approves of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My version was better "
I can't see her being tied to a tree in public will result in much tickling. Unless you're offering to monitor it. Otherwise where's the punishment? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"PS Have I diverted attention away from any punishment threats?
Mrs DDC
Punishment? You're supposed to be in charge, can't you delegate and manage people? The poor girl probably had lot's of costumes to pack, plus make up etc.
Get a grip man! "
Have you seen her pictures? She often forgets her costumes. |
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"So, get her to organise the orgy and then arrange for her to be tied and gagged to a nearby tree where she can watch the unfolding festivities but cannot partake, except to be occasionally tickled by passers by.
?
"
Meanwhile, I like this idea. Although in my heart of heart I know that with Mrs ddc tied up, in reality I'll have to be getting me own grapes and wine...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You mean you didn't make a list before packing and ensure everything was ticked off before setting out? Then you only have yourself to blame, I fear.
Mr ddc should have had a spreadsheet for this already on the system.
Obviously that's exactly what he has done.............
Only I didn't read it properly (I have recommended that tent and poles/pegs be 2 separate items in future to help me)
Mrs DDC"
If the spreadsheet isn't clear, the spreadsheet isn't fit for purpose. |
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"PS Have I diverted attention away from any punishment threats?
Mrs DDC
Punishment? You're supposed to be in charge, can't you delegate and manage people? The poor girl probably had lot's of costumes to pack, plus make up etc.
Get a grip man! "
Worst of all, Bobby, we let you down. We were going to get a couple of pics of those giant golf balls (I thought two between my legs would work well) but decided to leave it until we were a bit closer in the next valley. Unfortunately I didn't check the contours and they were hidden behind the hill  |
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"PS Have I diverted attention away from any punishment threats?
Mrs DDC
Punishment? You're supposed to be in charge, can't you delegate and manage people? The poor girl probably had lot's of costumes to pack, plus make up etc.
Get a grip man!
Worst of all, Bobby, we let you down. We were going to get a couple of pics of those giant golf balls (I thought two between my legs would work well) but decided to leave it until we were a bit closer in the next valley. Unfortunately I didn't check the contours and they were hidden behind the hill "
I wanted them as surrogate boobs so a fight was on the cards.
Mrs DDC |
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"You mean you didn't make a list before packing and ensure everything was ticked off before setting out? Then you only have yourself to blame, I fear.
Mr ddc should have had a spreadsheet for this already on the system.
Obviously that's exactly what he has done.............
Only I didn't read it properly (I have recommended that tent and poles/pegs be 2 separate items in future to help me)
Mrs DDC
If the spreadsheet isn't clear, the spreadsheet isn't fit for purpose. "
Ruby, I like your style (but it was def my fault)
Mrs DDC |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"It's all your fault. You as Man do the shelter stuff, and killing things as necessary. Mrs looks after cooking and wet wipes. Let that be lesson to you! "
Am thinking this is a perfect almost reply...
Although the ladies should do the packing and collating of goods to take on the journey...
A few other posters said that you both should be taking the punishment, and I concur whole heartedly!
OP, thank-you for making me smile and laugh...
Great post and yes longest title I've seen. |
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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
Although I do like the Roman orgy punishment idea, I do feel you both should be punished.
Poles and pegs are tent therefore shelter items. Any bloke that goes camping and doesn't check the tent before hand is culpable I'm afraid. You can delegate but that doesn't absorb you of ultimate responsibility, in short your job fella
Tho Mrs DDC still needs to be punished for failure to follow direction, but an orgy she doesn't get to join in? To harsh and you're suffering too! Just make her sit out the first half |
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"Any bloke that goes camping and doesn't check the tent before hand is culpable I'm afraid. You can delegate but that doesn't absorb you of ultimate responsibility, in short your job fella
"
Don't worry, I've already ordered the special paper so that the checklist can be printed in triplicate. It has also already been amended so that "Tent poles" appears separately, in capitals. Then further down it says "Really? Now go back and check the tent poles again"
Plus she now has to get the forms signed off by a manager before she is allowed to go any further.
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