FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do men do it ?
Why do men do it ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
I get that off ladies too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
They may have realised you are not meeting anyone just now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Loads of reasons possibly.
Bored
Shot the load
Caught out by the wife
Heard something they didn't like
Like many single fellas that start threads about it, don't take it as rudeness. Instead, take it as they're no longer interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Maybe he's decided that because you don't want to meet anyone and he does he's probably wasting his time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
They might do it to annoy you??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its because they have found someone else to chat with maybe they are doing something else but they are still online, could of ran out of things to say."
This... 
...and read your profile after a wee chat ( because they got so excited that someone actually replied and needed to quickly read your profile.....and it says...' not meeting'....kinda a killer first line in a profile if you're looking to meet someone.
I had the same thing but other way round...she messaged me..i pointed out she said not meeting single guys so I said I'm not interested...she then blocked me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As another post said. It's not just the men. Although it is still rude.
It could also be until we meet we are still just a pic we are talking to and maybe he thought there was no connection.
But again it's still rude to arrange and then ignore you. It gives us all singles a bad name. |
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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago
Dundee/Angus/Blackpool |
"Then don't say you'd like to meet me this coming weekend.
Or at least be polite and say sorry change of mind "
Okay my thing is,they might be chatting away with you and other ladies also
He could be travelling in his car maybe,so not going near his phone
Could be in his workplace
I find you don't need to converse all at once,and chat sporadically throughout the day, that way things need to be doing,send messages while on the go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I'm online and don't even look at my messages at all. I'm not deliberately ignoring people, I'm just doing something else."
Yep.....i often leave my messages for a day before looking at them. Sometimes i can't be bothered to have a conversation i just throw comments into the forum. I get annoyed when people question why i didn't reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
not just the male
it's also the women who do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We chat to get to know people.
Once we get to know that person we may not want to get to know them any more.
We stop chatting. "
... Or are only females allowed to decide they're happy to just leave it there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seriously after 20 minutes??? Calm the fuck down! After a day or 2 then get pissy but seriously your not dating them, you don't need to keep tract on there every move!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I'm online and don't even look at my messages at all. I'm not deliberately ignoring people, I'm just doing something else."
me too.. I may be on the forums.. or just my pc is on and im not with it.
Op if he is interested he will reply when he replies. As guys get told. No reply isnt rude. And people do have a life beyond fab apparently  |
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"Sometimes I'm online and don't even look at my messages at all. I'm not deliberately ignoring people, I'm just doing something else.
Yep.....i often leave my messages for a day before looking at them. Sometimes i can't be bothered to have a conversation i just throw comments into the forum. I get annoyed when people question why i didn't reply."
Yes and often I read on my phone but wait til I get back on the desktop to write.
Yes, buggering off without a word after asking to meet is rude but 20 mins is a bit soon to assume that!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd message him repeatedly lots of exclamation marks to bring your point home.
Capital letters work well too"
Or just lots of question marks. That seems popular and successful and definitely doesn't just get deleted on principle.
??????????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd message him repeatedly lots of exclamation marks to bring your point home.
Capital letters work well too"
Nah....just lots of "????" with the subject "??" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Ladies are far more brutal with it. |
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"We spoke yesterday but not answered messages from today been on line 20 mins "
20 mins is hardly a long time! Take me days to answer some messages!
They could be on the forums, chatting to someone else, or doing something (cooking etc) without being logged off!
I see this site as something we can all pick up and put down at will to fit in with our 'real' lives!
If you're expecting someone's immediate and undecided attention then perhaps you're in the wrong place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd message him repeatedly lots of exclamation marks to bring your point home.
Capital letters work well too
Or just lots of question marks. That seems popular and successful and definitely doesn't just get deleted on principle.
???????????"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
I always reply to my mail even if it is to say goodbye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd run a mile form anyone that was checking sent messages and checking whether someone was on line enough to know that he hadn't replied after 20 minutes.
It screams neediness and drama |
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
I don't think it's men. I think it's people to be honest.
People get distracted. Something better comes along (or at least that's how they perceive it). Perhaps the message gets lost amongst others. Who knows? Just delete and move on.
Something I find a little irritating - I have to say - is when women contact me and then make no effort to continue the conversation, following the first message. I.e. they answer yes/no and ask no questions themselves.
I'm like, hold on you contacted me (and expression of interest) but you don't want to make any effort to get to know me.
But again - the above advice applies to me as well - delete and move on.
Best of luck - whatever the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Frustrating but owing to the ratio of men to women, something a lot of men will likely experience. Something better comes along and catches their eye and you are forgotten in a blink lol. Of course in men cases it's not helped by the fact that your last message might rapidly disappear from their inbox by the continuing torrent of new messages.
Yesterday I chatted for a while to a woman to the point where I sent her a friend request, she accepted then deleted her profile. Figure that... |
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Most of the single women we have spoken to have shown a great interest and then gone quiet, hid their profiles and disappeared and thats after we have arranged things
Cant take it personally, even if it is frustrating after a while. But I'm sure one day we will find our unicorn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It goes both ways though unfortunately. For men and for women. It's a jungle out there, . Not nice, but brush yourself down, and find someone else who piques your interest  |
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
It does happen. While it is personal (as in to you), try not to take it personally, as swinging is a strange beast, especially when you have never actually met the person. I hope your upset will lessen soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
remember there are a lot of time wasters on here who will chat just so they can relieve there self's while there gfs wife's ect are in bed or out shopping the mind does boggle tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sent someone a message on whatsapp OVER AN HOUR AGO and he hasn't even read it yet is online here replying to forum posts, the cunt. That's it, he's blocked and having his cock cut off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent someone a message on whatsapp OVER AN HOUR AGO and he hasn't even read it yet is online here replying to forum posts, the cunt. That's it, he's blocked and having his cock cut off. "
Miss detective lmao |
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? remember there are a lot of time wasters on here who will chat just so they can relieve there self's while there gfs wife's ect are in bed or out shopping the mind does boggle tho "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Respect yourself - anyone who's played this game has to have an awareness and acceptance of their sexual aesthetic curious approach about playing.
There are arse holes every where (and so many fantasists and pic collectors)
All true swingers and swayers (a term we heard recently about soft swingers which we both like)
Even BDSM and cuckold ingredients has an agreed boundary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well wonders will never cease. After I posted a reply earlier here, I received a message from someone I'd been speaking to at least a month ago. Like the OP we'd made arrangements and the person suddenly went quiet. That person has just apologized and asked for the meet to take place. I asked what had happened originally and they said they'd got cold feet and backed out and didn't know how to tell me. They've assured me that they will maintain our new dialogue and meet with me one evening next week. Since we last spoke they've been verified, and they've given me their mobile number for reassurance.
So perhaps OP may get the same nice suprise sometime. You never know with FAB!!! |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Depends really on the situation as everyone is different, a month or so ago we had a 14hr kik 3way chat with someone & it was great, then all of a sudden nothing, that did rile us a bit. We did send a short message to try and ascertain why but no answer & within a week unlos.
We have a few convos going on but two have not answered our last messages from early yesterday both have been read & the recipients online, but it could be for plenty of reasons but insecurities always make people think of the worst reason which is "They don't like us, they changed their mind".
Arranging a meet social or otherwise or at least talking about it is also the number one way to end communication we have found.
Far too many people of both sexes on here that just want to know they are wanted, other than by their current partners, past partners or the locals they've already rejected as unsuitable.
Once they know that, they are happy. So why bother with a meet which would possibly ruin the fantasy that the Daniel Craig/Jessica Rabbit lookalike isn't quite what you built them up as in your mind?
S |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I often suggest to guys who post threads about messages that aren't read / replied to..
Concentrate on your inbox ...not your outbox..
If he reads the forums he might not be replying anytime soon .. your post has a tinge of neediness abouyt it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd message him repeatedly lots of exclamation marks to bring your point home.
"
...and fill his inbox so it's too many to read untill later....
but then he might just decide to go on line and chat to someone and bingo he's too busy and will then delete them all because he hasn't time for them.
He'll put up on his status ....sorry ladies can't read all my mail so had to delete. ... ( which will be fucking true lol)
Yeah it's a bugger....time is precision for some of us and we do want to chat to actually meet...so no replies in 24hrs usually means I've moved on. I'm just being honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd message him repeatedly lots of exclamation marks to bring your point home.
...and fill his inbox so it's too many to read untill later....
but then he might just decide to go on line and chat to someone and bingo he's too busy and will then delete them all because he hasn't time for them.
He'll put up on his status ....sorry ladies can't read all my mail so had to delete. ... ( which will be fucking true lol)
Yeah it's a bugger....time is precision for some of us and we do want to chat to actually meet...so no replies in 24hrs usually means I've moved on. I'm just being honest."
Honesty I'd say is the best policy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Really???
I have some problems with women... All the time, every time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's pretty clear to us that if someone doesn't reply, they're not interested in further communication, I really can't see why people struggle with this - as signals go, it's pretty unambiguous. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"It's pretty clear to us that if someone doesn't reply, they're not interested in further communication, I really can't see why people struggle with this - as signals go, it's pretty unambiguous."
Obviously you've not had the memo... Ladies have different expectations and the faq's don't apply to them..  |
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I think you can usualy tell if they are realy interested in meeting you or not, such as if you give them your phone number how long is it before they text you, if i get the feeling they are not that sure about meeting me then i will forget about them and consider someone else as most of the time i am not that sure if i want to meet them either.
you can waste a lot of time by just relying on one person.
I say on my profile that i always like to say hi on the phone before i meet someone, so if they havnt given me their number or arranged to speak on the phone the day before we are meant to meet then i assume they are not that interested in actualy meeting me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you were boring him...
Seriously tho some ppl have little conversation online or simply just prefer a real conversation. He might surprise you and actually meet you |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I think you can usualy tell if they are realy interested in meeting you or not, such as if you give them your phone number how long is it before they text you, if i get the feeling they are not that sure about meeting me then i will forget about them and consider someone else as most of the time i am not that sure if i want to meet them either.
you can waste a lot of time by just relying on one person.
I say on my profile that i always like to say hi on the phone before i meet someone, so if they havnt given me their number or arranged to speak on the phone the day before we are meant to meet then i assume they are not that interested in actualy meeting me."
Must admit that if we haven't got one after a few messages we'll drop a "Can we have a face pic as there has to be an attraction" in a message. More than once the other party has continued chatting answering other parts of the message but no face pic. Nor said why not. We don't contact again if that happens. Ours are on our profile if your scared to or are 007 so you won't then your not for us anyway..
S |
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"I never log out so it shows that I'm online x
Me too. I get distracted by real life and forget to log out. Easily done."
Likewise so I am never bothered if my friends are showing as online or offline |
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"It's pretty clear to us that if someone doesn't reply, they're not interested in further communication, I really can't see why people struggle with this - as signals go, it's pretty unambiguous.
Obviously you've not had the memo... Ladies have different expectations and the faq's don't apply to them.. "
Haha |
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"I never log out so it shows that I'm online x
Me too. I get distracted by real life and forget to log out. Easily done."
I don't think it does show people online if they do not log out - I never do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Would this be after a face pic is sent? People have a lot of differing tastes. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"They shot their load
That's exactly what I was gunna say. It's like a magic switch attached to thier brain's. xxx"
If this had been a single guy bemoaning the lack of response some of the comments would have been very different...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They shot their load
That's exactly what I was gunna say. It's like a magic switch attached to thier brain's. xxx
If this had been a single guy bemoaning the lack of response some of the comments would have been very different... "
Mine would have been the same.... along the lines of its only been 20 minutes for the love of God |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Some people just have no manners, not limited to male/female.
My schtick is being impeccably polite, witty and easy going, anything to give me an advantage as an attached man  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"They shot their load
That's exactly what I was gunna say. It's like a magic switch attached to thier brain's. xxx
If this had been a single guy bemoaning the lack of response some of the comments would have been very different...
Mine would have been the same.... along the lines of its only been 20 minutes for the love of God "
That's why I said some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
As some have already said this can't be aimed at jut men women and couples do it too.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Girls suddenly disappear too.
Perhaps the wife /husband comes home?
Mr. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never log out so it shows that I'm online x
The amount of times that caused me gip..in the end if just tell em' to fuck off "
Actually I didn't I'd send a link explaining somthing I shouldn't have too ffs |
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By *itty . OP Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I think its because they have found someone else to chat with maybe they are doing something else but they are still online, could of ran out of things to say.
This...
...and read your profile after a wee chat ( because they got so excited that someone actually replied and needed to quickly read your profile.....and it says...' not meeting'....kinda a killer first line in a profile if you're looking to meet someone.
I had the same thing but other way round...she messaged me..i pointed out she said not meeting single guys so I said I'm not interested...she then blocked me. "
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By *itty . OP Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I think its because they have found someone else to chat with maybe they are doing something else but they are still online, could of ran out of things to say.
This...
...and read your profile after a wee chat ( because they got so excited that someone actually replied and needed to quickly read your profile.....and it says...' not
meeting'....kinda a killer first line in a profile if you're looking to meet someone.
I had the same thing but other way round...she messaged me..i pointed out she said not meeting single guys so I said I'm not interested...she then blocked me. "
We'd arranged to meet over weekend !
I don't meet loads of people that why change on profile which he was aware of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had friends whom I've been chatting to when suddenly they disappear and I get no answer. I figure they got a better offer!
I have a new term for ambivalent Friends.....they are now my "FRENEMIES"
Just ignore them, erase them from your mind and move on...life's too short |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not that interested in messages. I can't be bothered with yo yo messaging. If we are going to meet we just sort out the details and message on the day. I don't want to keep hearing from them. |
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By *itty . OP Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
"As another post said. It's not just the men. Although it is still rude.
It could also be until we meet we are still just a pic we are talking to and maybe he thought there was no connection.
But again it's still rude to arrange and then ignore you. It gives us all singles a bad name. "
Yes. Very true.
I'd just like the not my type or changed my mind or a simple no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
What was your replies like? Usually if im messaging someone and they just use one word or short replies, making the conversation hard to keep going, I'll just stop talking to them |
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"Leave them to it. They'll only lie if you ask so just move on and curve their inevitable message a few days later
Good idea but don't think he'll bother oh well his loss "
How is it his loss? He hasn't even met you.... |
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By *itty . OP Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Then don't say you'd like to meet me this coming weekend.
Or at least be polite and say sorry change of mind
Okay my thing is,they might be chatting away with you and other ladies also
He could be travelling in his car maybe,so not going near his phone
Could be in his workplace
He's been on line through the day and still not replied to message I left yesterday.
I'll just take the message that he's not interested and has no manners
I find you don't need to converse all at once,and chat sporadically throughout the day, that way things need to be doing,send messages while on the go "
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By *itty . OP Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Then don't say you'd like to meet me this coming weekend.
Or at least be polite and say sorry change of mind
Okay my thing is,they might be chatting away with you and other ladies also
He could be travelling in his car maybe,so not going near his phone
Could be in his workplace
He's been on line through the day and still not replied to message I left yesterday.
I'll just take the message that he's not interested and has no manners
I find you don't need to converse all at once,and chat sporadically throughout the day, that way things need to be doing,send messages while on the go "
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By *itty . OP Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Then don't say you'd like to meet me this coming weekend.
Or at least be polite and say sorry change of mind
Okay my thing is,they might be chatting away with you and other ladies also
He could be travelling in his car maybe,so not going near his phone
Could be in his workplace
He's been on line through the day and still not replied to message I left yesterday.
I'll just take the message that he's not interested and has no manners
I find you don't need to converse all at once,and chat sporadically throughout the day, that way things need to be doing,send messages while on the go "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have fab on my mobile! So I been told I am online 24/7 but isn't true!People move on! Honestly sometimes I do the same,sorry to disappoint!The reason is something they said I didn't appreciate or if they are clingy wanting to chat every minute! Don't take it personally.All the best x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get chatting nicely to someone and then they stop answering your mail eventhough on line ?
Can't they be polite and say good bye.
There's no need for rudeness is there ? "
Bless. I usually block and move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never log out so it shows that I'm online x
Me too. I get distracted by real life and forget to log out. Easily done.
I don't think it does show people online if they do not log out - I never do."
I think they log you automatically out after five minutes of inactivity. |
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