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Should I message her?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.
Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.
I'm so hung up on this girl now, I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to me before. She's the first girl in a long time I've wanted something long term with. Should I just man up and get on with it or message her again?
I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me  |
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"Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.
Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.
I'm so hung up on this girl now, I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to me before. She's the first girl in a long time I've wanted something long term with. Should I just man up and get on with it or message her again?
I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me "
Send her a message, be polite and honest then you will know you can do no more.
See what happens.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.
Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.
I'm so hung up on this girl now, I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to me before. She's the first girl in a long time I've wanted something long term with. Should I just man up and get on with it or message her again?
I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me "
Is she on here?
Does she know you are?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.
Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.
I'm so hung up on this girl now, I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to me before. She's the first girl in a long time I've wanted something long term with. Should I just man up and get on with it or message her again?
I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me
Is she on here?
Does she know you are? "
Thanks for the fast replies guys. No she isn't on here and I never told her I've been on a site like this. I'm only worried that she maybe didn't feel the same way I did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys looking for a bit of advice. Had been texting with a girl fror about 3 month and we'd went out 4 maybe 5 times, work schedules made it hard to meet a lot. We got on so well and had a lot in common, things felt good.
Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her.
I'm so hung up on this girl now, I can't stop thinking about her, this has never happened to me before. She's the first girl in a long time I've wanted something long term with. Should I just man up and get on with it or message her again?
I feel real embarrassed that I didn't make any further move on her but I didn't want to pressure her. I really don't know what I should do, it's killing me
Is she on here?
Does she know you are?
Thanks for the fast replies guys. No she isn't on here and I never told her I've been on a site like this. I'm only worried that she maybe didn't feel the same way I did"
Tell her pretty much what you told us.
Got nothing to lose! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Anyway I've had relationships ruined by rushing to the bedroom to fast, this time I held back and it seems like I did it away. She told me it fizzled out for her."
I would say that due to it having 'fizzled out' for her... your own words, I wouldn't bother her anymore.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe she found out you was seeing someone else 2 weeks ago ...I know that would put me off especially if you hadn't made a move in 3 months
( just my opinion)
A x "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go for it, can't hurt right?
And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey 
2nd best- I can live with it  "
See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go for it, can't hurt right?
And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey
2nd best- I can live with it
See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision
Quickly backtracking "
I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly |
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"Go for it, can't hurt right?
And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey
2nd best- I can live with it
See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision
Quickly backtracking
I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly "
I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you. |
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By *xx1Man
over a year ago
. |
Thanks for the fast replies guys. No she isn't on here and I never told her I've been on a site like this. I'm only worried that she maybe didn't feel the same way I did
I think deep down you know... She has told you, that for her " it's fizzled out"
but, your desire for her, hasn't diminished in any way.
I, and many others think it'll be best to contact her. At least you will know for sure.
But, be prepared. You may not get the reply you want....
Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go for it, can't hurt right?
And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey
2nd best- I can live with it
See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision
Quickly backtracking
I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly
I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you.
Maybe maybe not. Love to find out though  these youngens do have skills you know "
how are you at multitasking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe she found out you was seeing someone else 2 weeks ago ...I know that would put me off especially if you hadn't made a move in 3 months
( just my opinion)
A x "
I didn't meet anyone while I was seeing her. We stopped taking about 4-5 weeks ago. We'd been chatting but like I said only managed to meet about 4-5 times. I know I missed a chance and that's what doing my head in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go for it, can't hurt right?
And of course the best thing I ever did was message the beautiful Miss Honey
2nd best- I can live with it
See now though the hardest decision would be is who I like the most out of you 2 don't think I could make that decision
Quickly backtracking
I'm actually being serious I wouldn't even be able to make that decision honestly
I'm a big girl, I can handle 2nd best. Plus I would break you.
Maybe maybe not. Love to find out though these youngens do have skills you know
how are you at multitasking "
Very good multitasker I do it for a living very useful life skill it is indeed |
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Tell her. Was in a situation myself recently where I started getting close someone from work. Fancied her instantly and started getting closer to the point we were texting and talking all day every day. We'd been out a few times but it was all in the friend zone. I eventually told her I liked her as more than friends and asked if we could go on a date to see how it went. She agreed, we had an amazing day and a heart to heart where it became clear we weren't only close but wed already totally fallen for each other. Been together near 6 months now and every day with her is incredible. Getting to the stage we are contemplating setting up life together. I took a chance asking her out, could've blown the friends thing if she'd said no.
Yeah I'm still on here purely because I enjoy reading the forums, no longer meet.
Moral of the story is tho, take a chance and great things can happen.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup, tell you how you feel, but don't do it in a begging way. Put the ball in her court. And if she still says no, put it down to experience and walk away.
In the meantime, instead of listening to what a girl says, look at her actions and learn to read her body language, learn the signs, because actions really do speak louder than words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont know and you should never listen to me anyway!..
The nice guy in me says go for it...i wish you luck, make it awesome not some drippy rubbish.... but like many others have said "be prepared for the worst" (and there is nothing worse than that feeling at that moment as im sure many would agree) but if you scared to have your heart broken you will get nowhere....shoot for the moon, if you miss you are still amongst the stars
But wait...
Now the middle guy in me says....dude, she aint into you just move on bud...that old dribble... something about "let them free and if they return" blah blah...yeah whatever.
If you read on from here im sorry bud...
Mr D says....stop being a bitch and airing shite, like its gonna help you get laid or worse
..that is you are actually serious then man the feck up!.....i know your game son!
I did warn you!....nah honestly good luck bud im just messing with you.....sounds like the dreaded 'L' word is close by.....(mr D said run for the hills...run boy run!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell her. Was in a situation myself recently where I started getting close someone from work. Fancied her instantly and started getting closer to the point we were texting and talking all day every day. We'd been out a few times but it was all in the friend zone. I eventually told her I liked her as more than friends and asked if we could go on a date to see how it went. She agreed, we had an amazing day and a heart to heart where it became clear we weren't only close but wed already totally fallen for each other. Been together near 6 months now and every day with her is incredible. Getting to the stage we are contemplating setting up life together. I took a chance asking her out, could've blown the friends thing if she'd said no.
Yeah I'm still on here purely because I enjoy reading the forums, no longer meet.
Moral of the story is tho, take a chance and great things can happen.
Good luck"
Awww!   
I agree.. ask her OP. You've got nothing to lose and it may be a happy ending. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Message her. Even if you don't get the outcome you want, at least you won't always be wondering what if."
Spot on. It's better to know so you don't look back in years to come and wonder. It's not the no's that haunt you in later life, it's the don't knows... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have absolutely nothing to lose by messaging her and possibly everything to gain. If she doesn't respond, you are still better off because you know exactly where you stand. If you don't, this will always be at the back of your mind. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
I've re-read the OP and it definitely says that he was told by the girl in question that it had fizzled out for her.
Do you lot really think that pestering someone after they have already turned you down is a good idea? |
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In the minority here.....but que sera, sera.... If it was meant to be, it would have happened....if it is meant to be, it will happen.....don't force it! A moment may occur where a genuine reason to make contact may happen.....otherwise in the meantime, embrace life |
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By *roken77Man
over a year ago
Blackpool |
sadly i think as she's said its fizzled out for her there is no point in chasing her romantically keep in touch by all means, and stay friends - you never know she might come back to wanting your attentions in more than a friends way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've re-read the OP and it definitely says that he was told by the girl in question that it had fizzled out for her.
Do you lot really think that pestering someone after they have already turned you down is a good idea?"
I don't think pestering is a good idea, no. But she may have said it fizzled out because she felt his apathy about the situation. Nothing worse than feeling like the spark isn't mutual.
If he tells her he does feel that spark it may be enough to get her back. Or it may make her think he's a nutjob. But at least he'll know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would leave it.....if it's fizzled out before it's even got going you've no chance....a new relationship should get more and more exciting....not fizzle out after 5 meets x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say "message her again", what did you message her before for her to say it's fizzled out?
If I'd said that to someone then they told me what they felt, they'd still be no going back, because she may have liked you before, but due to not seeing one another she's moved on. If you message her then be prepared for an outcome that may not go in your favour. |
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