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Safety measures in place for meets?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have had a couple of scary experiences during my swinging time. Despite chatting on the phone before etc. I now always do a social meet somewhere public first and have a friend who knows exactly where I am.
Do you have a way of doing meets to make sure you are/feel safe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't ever be 100% safe and when I was meeting as a single this was a worry of mine. But basically don't get in a car with them, meet in a mutual location that you know well and make sure someone knows exactly where you are and that you text them periodically throughout the evening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway  |
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Interesting point about it being a female thing. I disagree, and think that men can also be lured to bad stuations, maybe moreso than women, given how keen we can be. Safety should be for everyone, and I always let a friend know what Im up to when going on a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway "
I've not had a bad experience. For me it's not so much that I think everyone is going to be an axe wielding maniac, it's more that if a situation turns and I feel uncomfortable or just don't want to go ahead with it that I can leave easily or ask them to leave, and that I can get home easily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
I've not had a bad experience. For me it's not so much that I think everyone is going to be an axe wielding maniac, it's more that if a situation turns and I feel uncomfortable or just don't want to go ahead with it that I can leave easily or ask them to leave, and that I can get home easily."
I guess that makes sense Ruby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think every woman. Should take steps to ensure their safety before a meet.
As some have already said, it's better to be safe than sorry.
For me personally, I doubt if anything could happen that I couldn't handle myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not."
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered. |
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Part of why I always have a social, meeting in an environment that helps you check each other out
When I first joined this site, had a fwb that was attacked on a meet, so I learnt then that guys can be at risk just as much as women |
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I am quite new to all this so I have a guy that I go most places with- makes me feel safe and he loves to watch amd participate too xx
That would be harder to dobif my meets where 121s though so i'd probably tell him where I was going just in case x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had experience of a bloke go really weird when I mentioned that someone would know where I was and that I'd be calling to check in...
Big red flag! No meet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered."
Exactly this for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me."
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered."
This for me too  |
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"Interesting point about it being a female thing. I disagree, and think that men can also be lured to bad stuations, maybe moreso than women, given how keen we can be. Safety should be for everyone, and I always let a friend know what Im up to when going on a meet"
I don't play "nice". I have brackets, harnesses etc. I always meet at home so a man will be in a vulnerable position, that's why I don't bother with those who want to forgo a social meet and have had a couple of social meets with the same person until they felt comfortable with me.
I'm glad I've always had a social as you can't tell from messages and phone chat.
Boy, have I dodged a few bullets! |
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not."
Considering most murders are committed by people well known to the victim, I agree! |
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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago
gillingham |
"Interesting point about it being a female thing. I disagree, and think that men can also be lured to bad stuations, maybe moreso than women, given how keen we can be. Safety should be for everyone, and I always let a friend know what Im up to when going on a meet"
This is very true. I know a male friend from another site and he was robbed in his own home. He met a girl on a couple occasions and whilst she was in his bed two men were downstairs robbing the poor bastard. He contacted the police and apparently this is was common in the area he lived.  |
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Given that I have lived in many " interesting" countries and places; I take personal security ( in all aspects of my life, not just here) very seriously.
And men( even ones who can " look after themselves") are vulnerable, too.
For instance you could be set up on here to meet someone, and find that you get mugged by 4 big blokes...
Thus I understand women's potential fears, and would offer every opportunity for them to meet in neutral, safe, surroundings, where they can make a free choice whether to go further. |
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
"
You're meeting strangers for sex! It takes time to build trust with friends and life partners. How much trust can you put in someone you're looking to fuck? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting point about it being a female thing. I disagree, and think that men can also be lured to bad stuations, maybe moreso than women, given how keen we can be. Safety should be for everyone, and I always let a friend know what Im up to when going on a meet
This is very true. I know a male friend from another site and he was robbed in his own home. He met a girl on a couple occasions and whilst she was in his bed two men were downstairs robbing the poor bastard. He contacted the police and apparently this is was common in the area he lived. "
I've been left alone in men's homes while they go to the shop or to the laundry room,I did think at the time I must have a very trusting face.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway "
Men are not immune either. I know of a male who was lured by a fake profile, where four guys were waiting for him. They beat him and stole his wallet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a man comes across badly during textual conversations I let it fizzle out. It's not foolproof and I've been lucky that,apart from one man who thought that being of a submissive nature,I'd be happy to have a slap around the face,I've been lucky. I tend to pick nice men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
"
Yes. It takes an extremely long time for me to trust someone - and that's got nothing to do with whether they tell a few lies about their age or name or marital status. There's one person I trust on this site, and I've been meeting them for 2 years. With every one else, hell yes I will continue to take these steps to feel comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
You're meeting strangers for sex! It takes time to build trust with friends and life partners. How much trust can you put in someone you're looking to fuck?"
Enough to assume they're not going to rob / murder me lol
Yeah ok, it does build time to trust someone implicitly. But there has to be a certain level to begin with. If I don't trust them I'm not sleeping with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting point about it being a female thing. I disagree, and think that men can also be lured to bad stuations, maybe moreso than women, given how keen we can be. Safety should be for everyone, and I always let a friend know what Im up to when going on a meet
I don't play "nice". I have brackets, harnesses etc. I always meet at home so a man will be in a vulnerable position, that's why I don't bother with those who want to forgo a social meet and have had a couple of social meets with the same person until they felt comfortable with me.
I'm glad I've always had a social as you can't tell from messages and phone chat.
Boy, have I dodged a few bullets! "
makes sense in the long run of things but there are those you feel comfortable with from the word go tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guys that are saying im ok I can look after myself are the ones most at risk with that attitude.
Id rather just not put myself in a situation to have to look after myself |
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered."
Yeah but that could happen at any stage couldn't it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
Yes. It takes an extremely long time for me to trust someone - and that's got nothing to do with whether they tell a few lies about their age or name or marital status. There's one person I trust on this site, and I've been meeting them for 2 years. With every one else, hell yes I will continue to take these steps to feel comfortable. "
Thanks, was just curious
Its interesting to understand other people's thought process behind this whole life style. Appreciate your answers. |
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"Interesting point about it being a female thing. I disagree, and think that men can also be lured to bad stuations, maybe moreso than women, given how keen we can be. Safety should be for everyone, and I always let a friend know what Im up to when going on a meet
This is very true. I know a male friend from another site and he was robbed in his own home. He met a girl on a couple occasions and whilst she was in his bed two men were downstairs robbing the poor bastard. He contacted the police and apparently this is was common in the area he lived.
I've been left alone in men's homes while they go to the shop or to the laundry room,I did think at the time I must have a very trusting face.
"
One playmate I had left me in his home while he went to work. He drove me to visit my dad when he was dying and picked me up again. He lived in Wilmslow my dad was in Chorley General.
Going home the train stopped at Birmingham International. I phoned him to say I was stuck he drove down from Wilmslow and drove me home.
I'll never forget that kindness. |
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"The guys that are saying im ok I can look after myself are the ones most at risk with that attitude.
Id rather just not put myself in a situation to have to look after myself"
Exactly! Misplaced bravado. |
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My wife was supposed to have a pub social meet with a guy last year. They both parked their cars in the pub car park but the guy then wanted to go to a different pub, so she followed him. This second place had a dark car park, and now he insisted either he get inti my wife's car or she into his. She locked the doors and called me for advice (which was return home and report the man)
First safety rule....have someone you trust as a 'safety call'. This person knows you are going to a meet and the approximate location. They will expect a message saying some agreed text such as "met Bighungstud82 in pub, ok so far".
Always meet somewhere you can raise an alarm if need be. Preferably a social in a pub, cafe or well used park. Even a shopping centre. Never a guy's car as he could drive you anywhere. Meeting at his home is not safe first time as he knows the layout and you do not. A hotel is a bit safer epecially at the bar for a chat before any fun.
If a guy changes the location of an agreed meet and it does not feel safe, trust your instincts and if you do go to the new location be sure to tell your 'safety call'.
This applies to men too, have your wits about you, meet for socials first time, have someone expecting you to call in etc
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"I have had a couple of scary experiences during my swinging time. Despite chatting on the phone before etc. I now always do a social meet somewhere public first and have a friend who knows exactly where I am.
Do you have a way of doing meets to make sure you are/feel safe? "
Years ago before proper Internet the loot newspaper did casual meets section.
I remember getting an invite from a couple and driving to meet them at a service station down in Kent. As soon as I arrived I know it was not right, leading up to the meet thry kept asking about did I work, what car I had and other totally unrelated questions.
The text messages that they kept sending got more and more sexual. Being in my early 20's I went to meet them.
When I met them she was very distant and he was obviously taking measure to see if he could rob me. Thankfully he did not fancy his chances and they both drove off.
I did wonder afterwards how many men they had robbed with their little honey pot scam.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS IS MY MOTO!!
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Also meeting at clubs is fairly safe.
Red flags are people insisting on leaening lots of personal details, over and above getting to know you a bit...anyone who insists on meeting somewhere out of the way or dark, anyone who changes a meet lication without a valid reason ir who is iffy about you keeping in contact with your safety person
I have taken the step of asking a lady if there is anyone she needs to contact, after half an hour in a pub with her not doing so. |
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"My wife was supposed to have a pub social meet with a guy last year. They both parked their cars in the pub car park but the guy then wanted to go to a different pub, so she followed him. This second place had a dark car park, and now he insisted either he get inti my wife's car or she into his. She locked the doors and called me for advice (which was return home and report the man)
First safety rule....have someone you trust as a 'safety call'. This person knows you are going to a meet and the approximate location. They will expect a message saying some agreed text such as "met Bighungstud82 in pub, ok so far".
Always meet somewhere you can raise an alarm if need be. Preferably a social in a pub, cafe or well used park. Even a shopping centre. Never a guy's car as he could drive you anywhere. Meeting at his home is not safe first time as he knows the layout and you do not. A hotel is a bit safer epecially at the bar for a chat before any fun.
If a guy changes the location of an agreed meet and it does not feel safe, trust your instincts and if you do go to the new location be sure to tell your 'safety call'.
This applies to men too, have your wits about you, meet for socials first time, have someone expecting you to call in etc
"
I chose the venue and time and always get there before the other so I can get my own drink and pick where we are sitting
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
"
Trust is a non-issue with someone you haven't met, hence safety measures. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
Yes. It takes an extremely long time for me to trust someone - and that's got nothing to do with whether they tell a few lies about their age or name or marital status. There's one person I trust on this site, and I've been meeting them for 2 years. With every one else, hell yes I will continue to take these steps to feel comfortable.
Thanks, was just curious
Its interesting to understand other people's thought process behind this whole life style. Appreciate your answers. "
We probably differ in that I can get to a point where I trust someone *enough* to have sex with them, with those other things in place - but I wouldn't class this as actually trusting them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always a social first in a public place and a friend knows my whereabouts. The person I'm meeting is always clear that it's a quick social which will not lead to play, so there are no expectations which can lead to awkwardness on the meet (although one social ended with me being sooooo tempted!)
I also prefer meets away from my home although once trust is established I'll happily invite someone here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We probably differ in that I can get to a point where I trust someone *enough* to have sex with them, with those other things in place - but I wouldn't class this as actually trusting them. "
I think that's a fair assessment.
I mean don't get me wrong, in my younger days I've ended up in bed with someone I've only known a matter of hours and any discussion has been rather limited, but I find that some mutual trust makes everything a lot less "robotic" and makes the whole experience exponentially more enjoyable.
Of course there is a difference between trusting them with your body and trusting them with your car for the weekend for instance.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand all of this and both need to feel safe. ..for me....I've never been wrong with my gut feeling about someone before meeting. My filtering system, communication and 6th sense work very well. I think alot has to do with the approach and build up...some rush things and that's when one makes mistakes. I've met a few for straight meets in their own homes...two were also blindfolded for I arrived. Trust is build up...anyone I meet straight for a meet I always ask them to inform someone first...
One person even phone them after a good few hrs as he hadn't heard....her reply was ' oh fuck sorry...we're still busy... i burst burst out laughing and then had a wee chat with him too on speaker while we continued to play....lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I now only meet off the back of my group socials I find that if someone is willing to come to a group social then they are usually more trustworthy and genuine. The FaF brigade don't seam to want to do group socials. also once I've organised a play date I'm happy for them to come here as my nieghbour is also on here. She knows who and when likewise I do with her plus my wankin buddy sometimes phones with the meets permission to listen in.  xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always a social first in a public place and a friend knows my whereabouts. The person I'm meeting is always clear that it's a quick social which will not lead to play, so there are no expectations which can lead to awkwardness on the meet (although one social ended with me being sooooo tempted!)
I also prefer meets away from my home although once trust is established I'll happily invite someone here"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them  "
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough. |
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always a social first in a public place and a friend knows my whereabouts. The person I'm meeting is always clear that it's a quick social which will not lead to play, so there are no expectations which can lead to awkwardness on the meet (although one social ended with me being sooooo tempted!)
I also prefer meets away from my home although once trust is established I'll happily invite someone here
"
Some even have an open invitation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I now only meet off the back of my group socials I find that if someone is willing to come to a group social then they are usually more trustworthy and genuine. The FaF brigade don't seam to want to do group socials. also once I've organised a play date I'm happy for them to come here as my nieghbour is also on here. She knows who and when likewise I do with her plus my wankin buddy sometimes phones with the meets permission to listen in. xxx"
That's me out lol...i don't do group socials/parties...two bad experiences at them in Manchester and Liverpool and put me off completely. I'd say complete opposite as you've no idea who are going before you get there and there are a few chancers and more so when they get a bit pisshhd. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?"
Because you're a woman Ruby. And you're obviously only here to fleece the guys for whatever you can get from them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?"
I think more that it was a joke comment that's how I read it anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?
I think more that it was a joke comment that's how I read it anyway"
Ah, gotcha. for pissy response to jokey comment. Didn't read it as a joke initially because it's what a load of men seem to actually think on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?
I think more that it was a joke comment that's how I read it anyway
Ah, gotcha. for pissy response to jokey comment. Didn't read it as a joke initially because it's what a load of men seem to actually think on here."
Haha yeah, makes it hard to see the nice guys sometimes  |
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?
Because you're a woman Ruby. And you're obviously only here to fleece the guys for whatever you can get from them! "
whoooo hold your horses ladys, it was only a tongue-in-check comment, no harm meant. Ive meet more than my fair share of woman from this site, Ive never been "fleeced", I actually enjoy spoiling the ladys, I have old fashioned values and standards, rightly or wrongly Im not a fan of this 50/50 new age girl power stuff. but each to thier own (sorry if ive offended) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?
Because you're a woman Ruby. And you're obviously only here to fleece the guys for whatever you can get from them!
whoooo hold your horses ladys, it was only a tongue-in-check comment, no harm meant. Ive meet more than my fair share of woman from this site, Ive never been "fleeced", I actually enjoy spoiling the ladys, I have old fashioned values and standards, rightly or wrongly Im not a fan of this 50/50 new age girl power stuff. but each to thier own (sorry if ive offended) "
My apologies for being a stroppy moo  |
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway "
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social meet in public, meet in a hotel chosen by me and usually booked by me, and there's always someone who knows where I am. Nothing is ever foolproof.
But paid for by them
Nope. Generally halves, sometimes paid by me, sometimes paid by them. I can fund my own hotel rooms easily enough.
Why the ? Is someone paying for themself so unusual?
I think more that it was a joke comment that's how I read it anyway
Ah, gotcha. for pissy response to jokey comment. Didn't read it as a joke initially because it's what a load of men seem to actually think on here.
Haha yeah, makes it hard to see the nice guys sometimes "
None of us here...just a figment of the imagination. .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer. "
works both ways on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing will protect you,if someone is going to kill you they will whether you meet in a communal area first or not.
I would imagine more women fear being forced into something than actually being murdered.
Exactly this for me.
This is where that honesty and trust discussion we had yesterday comes in to play for me.
Would you still feel the need to 'protect' yourself if you trusted said partner?
"
Yes, for the 1st few meets at least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer. "
Haha unfortunately in my early days of fab I found out the hard way that some people don't look like their pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer.
Haha unfortunately in my early days of fab I found out the hard way that some people don't look like their pics. "
Trying to remember how long you'd been on here when I met you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer.
Haha unfortunately in my early days of fab I found out the hard way that some people don't look like their pics.
Trying to remember how long you'd been on here when I met you "
Don't worry. Referring to my first foray into this world back in the late 2000's. Yours don't do you justice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer.
Haha unfortunately in my early days of fab I found out the hard way that some people don't look like their pics.
Trying to remember how long you'd been on here when I met you
Don't worry. Referring to my first foray into this world back in the late 2000's. Yours don't do you justice "
I agree with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer.
Haha unfortunately in my early days of fab I found out the hard way that some people don't look like their pics.
Trying to remember how long you'd been on here when I met you
Don't worry. Referring to my first foray into this world back in the late 2000's. Yours don't do you justice
I agree with that "
Well now I've just got all sorts of images running through my head
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus! you lot must have had some bad experiences?
As a man (and a large one at that) I guess it's less of an issue for me. But I'd like to think after a social I can get across than I'm not an axe weilding manic who's going to keep you tied to my bed. Well, not for too long anyway
2 Extreme perception men: Hope she looks like her pics.
Women: Hope he is not a murderer.
Haha unfortunately in my early days of fab I found out the hard way that some people don't look like their pics.
Trying to remember how long you'd been on here when I met you
Don't worry. Referring to my first foray into this world back in the late 2000's. Yours don't do you justice
I agree with that
Well now I've just got all sorts of images running through my head
"
Haha me too! But thanks both of you |
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Have a friend and sometimes neighbours know, for good measure.Cctv can be your friend, if in public too. Ensure they park where you can see, as hiding their car is suspicious - or could mean others waiting etc. Have a procedure for help and checking that's simple.
In hotels have staff see your meet plus cctv |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it looked upon at being more dangerous to meet people from a swinging site than it would be to meet people into kniting, or bird watching?
"
Some people's expectations of sex.
Personally what ever the hobby, if I'm going somewhere new, alone, to meet new people, then someone knows where I am. I learnt the hard way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it looked upon at being more dangerous to meet people from a swinging site than it would be to meet people into kniting, or bird watching?
"
Good point. I think you can meet weirdos or dangerous people anywhere, including in existing friendship circles in my experience! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it looked upon at being more dangerous to meet people from a swinging site than it would be to meet people into kniting, or bird watching?
"
I don't think it is about where I've met them, more about what I plan doing with them. I might go for tea with someone from knitting or for a cocktail with someone from birdwatching. I'm probably not going to take my clothes off have sex with them in a hotel room. If I was fucking a birdwatching acquaintance, the same precautions would apply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it looked upon at being more dangerous to meet people from a swinging site than it would be to meet people into kniting, or bird watching?
Good point. I think you can meet weirdos or dangerous people anywhere, including in existing friendship circles in my experience!"
It's general self perpetuated.... If one has a bad experience playing in the garden let's say with a dog...It can then take on the form of garden and dog...or just any garden or any dog.
The fact that for most people sexual abuse involves a friend, family member or friend of the family....ie some who knows you quite well. With fab many then heighten that.
I often feel more comfortable and relaxed in India or africa than I do at home in the west when it comes to personal safety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I now only meet off the back of my group socials I find that if someone is willing to come to a group social then they are usually more trustworthy and genuine. The FaF brigade don't seam to want to do group socials. also once I've organised a play date I'm happy for them to come here as my nieghbour is also on here. She knows who and when likewise I do with her plus my wankin buddy sometimes phones with the meets permission to listen in. xxx
That's me out lol...i don't do group socials/parties...two bad experiences at them in Manchester and Liverpool and put me off completely. I'd say complete opposite as you've no idea who are going before you get there and there are a few chancers and more so when they get a bit pisshhd. "
My socials are vetted and so far I've had no problems and I've meet some very lovely people. Xxx |
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"Why is it looked upon at being more dangerous to meet people from a swinging site than it would be to meet people into kniting, "
'Tis true.
You're not allowed knitting needles on a plane, whereas membership of the mile-high club is still possible.
OP: Unless we're at a club, we always meet for a social first.
Mr ddc |
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"Why is it looked upon at being more dangerous to meet people from a swinging site than it would be to meet people into kniting, or bird watching?
"
Some of us can be more vulnerable when meeting from sex encounter places, such as the net. Being isolated with a stranger in many places carries risks and when naked even more so. A lot of women generally have had men behave inappropriately and are generally more at risk than guys for serious offences. We may also have children living with us, even if absent when meeting men - that could open up future issues.
It's feasible that we may want to discontinue sex at any point too - some may not appreciate this.
Prevention is better than cure, so reducing the potential - other than not meeting - is intelligent to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never had a scary experience & touch wood that I never do.
For me it's a combination of things that I do from listening to my gut instinct, some of the methods listed above & meeting in a specific way / getting to know the person.
It's hard to explain but whatever it is it's served me well to date. |
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Meeting someone from a swingers site can be different to a knitting club because nobody would be embarassed to tell friends/family/police if they met somebody dodgy while attending knitting club.
Due to general embarassment discussing sex, some people do not tell anyone where they are going etc. |
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