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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A male friend who does not know that hubby & I are swingers kissed me this past weekend while my hubby was away. Now hubby has of course seen me kiss other men but that was during play with him there...i do not plan to tell him about this incident as i do not want to cause issues between my hubby and his friend but i'm curious as to other's thoughts.
-Red |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A male friend who does not know that hubby & I are swingers kissed me this past weekend while my hubby was away. Now hubby has of course seen me kiss other men but that was during play with him there...i do not plan to tell him about this incident as i do not want to cause issues between my hubby and his friend but i'm curious as to other's thoughts.
-Red"
I would tell your husband. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did you invite said kiss? If not you should have kneed him in the bollocks, with friends like that your hubby needs no enemies, it's a cunts trick that if you ask me. A good friend should look out for his mates wife while he's away not go trying to get I to her knickers, slime ball. Even if you did invite it, he's still a count for doing it behind his mates back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would tell him, obviously something in his mind is already telling him that seeing you with other men is okay and/or excites him. So odds are he won't be that fussed, surely?
Whereas if you don't tell him and he finds out afterwards he may suspect that you've been doing other things behind his back (we're a very paranoid bunch :P)
Just tell him in passing conversation
HTH xx |
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"I would tell him, obviously something in his mind is already telling him that seeing you with other men is okay and/or excites him. So odds are he won't be that fussed, surely?
Whereas if you don't tell him and he finds out afterwards he may suspect that you've been doing other things behind his back (we're a very paranoid bunch :P)
Just tell him in passing conversation
HTH xx"
Well, we don't know the circumstances yet.
But imo your comment is wrong. A couple swinging together Vs one partner kissing someone else alone are very different things.
Some couples meet separately but this scenario doesn't describe that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The friend is someone we have known for 15+ years and he just split from his gf of 5 years, throw on that the beer and I was a sympathetic ear...I probably should tell hubby but I don't want their friendship to suffer....and it is not something that will ever happen again as I have made clear to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe hubby asked his mate to kiss her to see if she responded maybe it's his way of seeing if she plays behind his back who knows im just theorising lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doing something sexual behind your husbanda back is cheating not swinging. The whole point of swinging is to have complete honesty in your relasionship. I think you should fess up regardless of if you ment it or not. Cos if he finds out any other way you risk lossing his trust. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The friend is someone we have known for 15+ years and he just split from his gf of 5 years, throw on that the beer and I was a sympathetic ear...I probably should tell hubby but I don't want their friendship to suffer....and it is not something that will ever happen again as I have made clear to him"
Maybe just be honest with the hubby and explain the circumstances of it and that you've dealt with the situation already. It depends on how you think he'd react. If he'd go nuts then keep schtum. If he's calm and collected even when provoked then tell all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The friend is someone we have known for 15+ years and he just split from his gf of 5 years, throw on that the beer and I was a sympathetic ear...I probably should tell hubby but I don't want their friendship to suffer....and it is not something that will ever happen again as I have made clear to him"
Yeah but you don't really know what's going on in this guy's head. Your relationship with your hubby is more important than his relationship with his mate.
I'd tell him. If they're good mates your husband can have a quiet word with him to reinforce what you said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe hubby asked his mate to kiss her to see if she responded maybe it's his way of seeing if she plays behind his back who knows im just theorising lol"
I appreciate your motives but in my view your loyalties lie with your husband. You can say what you have just said to him.
Others may have different views. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The friend is someone we have known for 15+ years and he just split from his gf of 5 years, throw on that the beer and I was a sympathetic ear...I probably should tell hubby but I don't want their friendship to suffer....and it is not something that will ever happen again as I have made clear to him"
Well leave it that then, if he tries it on again tell the guy you'll tell your hubby what he's up to and then grab and twist his bollocks until he squeals x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Put shoe on other foot.
How would you feel if your friend kissed hubby and he didn't tell you and then you found out about it. Would you believe he was trying to spare your feelings or not upset your friendship with said female? |
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"The friend is someone we have known for 15+ years and he just split from his gf of 5 years, throw on that the beer and I was a sympathetic ear...I probably should tell hubby but I don't want their friendship to suffer....and it is not something that will ever happen again as I have made clear to him"
The friend shouldn't have done it and in my opinion you should tell your husband, don't keep secrets from him to protect his friend your loyalty lies with your husband not his friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for the input...I think I already knew that I should tell hubby but just needed some confirmation. It would kill me if I thought that I hurt my hubby by letting him find out some other way. |
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"Thank you for the input...I think I already knew that I should tell hubby but just needed some confirmation. It would kill me if I thought that I hurt my hubby by letting him find out some other way. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on what kind of a kiss it was...
if just a friendly kiss on the cheek obvs no need to worry but if you felt it crossed boundaries then 'fess up to hubby... |
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"Did you invite said kiss? If not you should have kneed him in the bollocks, with friends like that your hubby needs no enemies, it's a cunts trick that if you ask me. A good friend should look out for his mates wife while he's away not go trying to get I to her knickers, slime ball. Even if you did invite it, he's still a count for doing it behind his mates back. "
I like this man right here!
S..XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for the input...I think I already knew that I should tell hubby but just needed some confirmation. It would kill me if I thought that I hurt my hubby by letting him find out some other way. "
Don't be persuaded by us feckers. For what my opinion is worth (nothing), I think you have nailed it there. A relationship requires honesty. |
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