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Best and worst chat up lines

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ive got a friend who will walk upto the best looking girl in a bar and say

"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but im the only one talking to you"

Actually has a high rate of success with it

Mine is "how much does a polar bear weigh"....."enough to break the ice, can i buy you a drink?"

Whats the best and worst chat up lines you have heard?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My brother has a frankly troubling success rate with "Did you just fart? Coz you blew me away"

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By *inkycatWoman over a year ago

High Wycombe

The worst has to be "do you work in a post office because I think you're checking out my package" (I definitely wasn't)

The only one that nearly worked, and must therefore be the best, was "if I wake up next to you in the morning, I'll wonder why I ever went to sleep".

Cat

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By *axandbooCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"Oi your a bag of spanners"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well just looking at you,my nuts tightend"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'Your eyes are the same colour as my Lamborghini'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

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By *herbert fountainWoman over a year ago

Hanley

A guy once came up to my mate and asked 'are your parents terrorists?' She looked at him confused then he said 'coz you da bomb, baby'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll give you the best 10 seconds you'll ever have but don't get to happy 7 of them are taking my boots off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Your eyes are the same colour as my Lamborghini' "

Just to clarify, they're all bad lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Your eyes are the same colour as my Lamborghini' "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

oh cheers I will have a pint of Nesquick Pink Milk Please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As Angel said: Hi, can I get you a drink?

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By *antasticMrsFoxMan over a year ago

Exeter

We got sent a really good one on here...

Hi I dont know your name but I'm going to call you my big toe....because like my big toe I'll be banging you on my coffee table repeatedly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think of a Toff....

THINK OF A TOFF Voice in your head...

"Well hello .....

Just how dirty are you?

I want to be able to spunk all over your face etc...."

"Please do answer me"

I think that was the worst I have ever experienced....

Best....so many .... Usually with humour brings such a smile to my face ...

Mwah

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you believe in love at first site... Or should I walk by again?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven" is terrible and a simple "can i buy you a drink" works best

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By *abydollxxWoman over a year ago

Birmingham - Selly oak

Are you from Tennessee?

Because you're a state.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My dick just passed away, can I bury it in you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We got sent a really good one on here...

Hi I dont know your name but I'm going to call you my big toe....because like my big toe I'll be banging you on my coffee table repeatedly!

This 1s brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive got a friend who will walk upto the best looking girl in a bar and say

"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but im the only one talking to you"

Actually has a high rate of success with it

Mine is "how much does a polar bear weigh"....."enough to break the ice, can i buy you a drink?"

Whats the best and worst chat up lines you have heard?"

If i had a quid for every message on here with the polar bear joke I'd be able to by my own swing club.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A mate of mine dared me to go upbto this girl and ask her for her number before. So I walked up to her and said 'my mate dared me to come over here and ask for your number, can you just button mash my phone so I don't look like a dick?' And low and behold, she actually put her number in!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My dick just passed away, can I bury it in you?"

You gonna buy me a drink first?!?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A mate of mine dared me to go upbto this girl and ask her for her number before. So I walked up to her and said 'my mate dared me to come over here and ask for your number, can you just button mash my phone so I don't look like a dick?' And low and behold, she actually put her number in! "

Also had this work, for numbers and kisses

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also had this work, for numbers and kisses

Great ini! I save the kisses once we've established a sense of humour. Then do the old 'can I have a kiss on the cheek' and sly head turn.

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By *gcw2014Couple over a year ago

just outside of liverpool

"A guy once came up to my mate and asked 'are your parents terrorists?' She looked at him confused then he said 'coz you da bomb, baby'."
mine to you would be fancy a coffee and cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My face will be leaving in 15 minutes, I'd like you to be on it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get your coat, love, you've pulled.....!

An oldy but goody?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My dick just passed away, can I bury it in you?

You gonna buy me a drink first?!?

How about a couple of bottles of prosecco?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My dick just passed away, can I bury it in you?

You gonna buy me a drink first?!?

How about a couple of bottles of prosecco?

Yesssss! Now that's how to chat me up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *trawberry-popWoman over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

The best and worst one used on me was 'i'd like to see you in nothing but a smile and a thin layer of sweat'.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I had one on here, but must have been having a bad day, as I didn't get it at first:

My cock just died, can I bury it in your vagina?

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By *gcw2014Couple over a year ago

just outside of liverpool

That outfit looks great on you, be nice on my bedroom chair as well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You cant beat Kevin Bloody Wilson for chat up lines

Blown to much of me time

Buyin` Dinner and Wine

And me money on flowers and lollies

Only to find

That what`s on me mind

Isn`t on hers and she`s sorry

So I`ve made up some lines

That save wastin` time

And keep me from blowin` me brass

I`m ever so cool

I just prop on me stool

Right next to hers and I ask

Do you f**k on first dates

Does you Dad own a brewery

Could I feel Your t*ts

Or would you show `em to me

Cause you`ve got a nice head

And you look pretty honest

So me face`ll be leavin` in quart of an hour

I`d like you to be on it

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila

And the bullsh*t you gotta go through

Like callin` her up

An` tellin` her you love her

When all that you`d love is just a screw

But she wants to hold hands

And meet her old man

And sit around for hours and talk

But me new method is, you just cut through the sh*t

And get down to the goodies straight off

Do you f**k on first dates

Does you Dad own a brewery

Could I feel Your t*ts

Or would you show `em to me

Do you sleep in the nick

Do you give head very often

If we can decide you place or mine

We can f**k off then

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila

An you`d give a weeks pay to hold her

Don`t sit actin` dumb

Just front her full on

and drop a few lines that I told ya

This new method of mine

Doesn`t work every time, but then again no method does

I`ve been spat at and slapped

and need in the nackers

But then I`ve got a few f**ks as well

Do you f**k on first dates

Does you Dad own a brewery

Could I feel Your t*ts

Or would you show `em to me

If the answer is no

to me questions above

Then be a good sport and give me the name

Of a girlfriend who does

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

Yes you may.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

Yes you may.....

I'd bloody love to share a bottle of Prosecco with you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

Yes you may.....

I'd bloody love to share a bottle of Prosecco with you

Share?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

Yes you may.....

I'd bloody love to share a bottle of Prosecco with you

Share?

Yeah Roxi and I are classy ladies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

Yes you may.....

I'd bloody love to share a bottle of Prosecco with you

Share?

Yeah Roxi and I are classy ladies

Yeah, I have bottle no 2 in the chiller

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best chat up line is 'may I buy you a drink'

Yes you may.....

I'd bloody love to share a bottle of Prosecco with you

Share?

Yeah Roxi and I are classy ladies

Yeah, I have bottle no 2 in the chiller

Let's get shitfaced..... like ladies

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By *lackXealMan over a year ago

Middlesbrough

I always walk up to girls and ask them to buy me a drink

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You remind me of my big toe. Mainly because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you fancy a fu*k? Used quite successfully in my younger days lol

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I shit in my pants, can I get in yours?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I shit in my pants, can I get in yours?"

Hahahahahahaha quality!

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

""I shit in my pants, can I get in yours?"

Hahahahahahaha quality!"

Only the best!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I shit in my pants, can I get in yours?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you have a bandage, because I've just scrapped my knee falling for you

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By *ogue78Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

"You cant beat Kevin Bloody Wilson for chat up lines

Kevin is awesome!!! dickens cider is another great one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ever seen the inside of a transit van?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ever seen the inside of a transit van?

'Have you smelled this cloth?'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ever seen the inside of a transit van?

'Have you smelled this cloth?'

Do you know the great thing about cable ties...?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ever seen the inside of a transit van?

'Have you smelled this cloth?'

Do you know the great thing about cable ties...?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol"

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

Ouch! "

Would you not do the same

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

Ouch!

Would you not do the same

Depends who sends it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

Ouch!

Would you not do the same

Depends who sends it

I would at least read it before deleting! Could have been an offer uou couldn't refuse?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

Ouch!

Would you not do the same

Depends who sends it

Verified blank profile with no pictures

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

Ouch!

Would you not do the same

Depends who sends it

Verified blank profile with no pictures

They're the best kind! The mystery is totally exciting!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I actually used 'do you fancy a fuck' once in a nightclub. We ended up together for 12 years

This actually just reminded me that I received my first faf message few days ago

And have you replied?!?

Delete without reading

Ruthless!! Lol

Ouch!

Would you not do the same

Depends who sends it

Verified blank profile with no pictures

Delete lol

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan over a year ago

Willenhall

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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By *herbert fountainWoman over a year ago

Hanley

"A guy once came up to my mate and asked 'are your parents terrorists?' She looked at him confused then he said 'coz you da bomb, baby'. mine to you would be fancy a coffee and cake

And you know the answer would be yes!!

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By *ucyfur77Woman over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"My dick just passed away, can I bury it in you?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please tell me you have pet insurance as I'm going to destroy your pussy

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By *gcw2014Couple over a year ago

just outside of liverpool

"A guy once came up to my mate and asked 'are your parents terrorists?' She looked at him confused then he said 'coz you da bomb, baby'. mine to you would be fancy a coffee and cake

And you know the answer would be yes!!

Just seen lol'xx

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