FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Swingers jokes, lets hear them
Swingers jokes, lets hear them
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station.
The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife.
No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her.
"I couldn't do that" he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!" "Listen, sugar" she whispered back "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake him up now".
"I can't believe that" Charlie said. "Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up won't he?" "Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his asshole and see if that wakes him".
Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and fucked her.
When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband's asshole hairs.
The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: "Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station.
The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife.
No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her.
"I couldn't do that" he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!" "Listen, sugar" she whispered back "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake him up now".
"I can't believe that" Charlie said. "Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up won't he?" "Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his asshole and see if that wakes him".
Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and fucked her.
When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband's asshole hairs.
The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: "Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!""
This swinging business is serious!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Jimmy Jones classic:
Guy gets on bus, sees a drop dead gorgeous nun. Sidles up and starts chatting.
"I'd love to fuck you" he says
"Oh no" says the nun "I am married to god and only God can consumate our marriage" and gets off the bus.
Over hearing this the bus driver says "If you go to the church in the meadow on Sunday and pretend to be god you'll get a fuck with sister mary"
Sunday comes and the guy is dressed in robe and white beard and wig.
Sure enough sister Mary comes up the lane and he steps out from behind a tree.
"I am god and I have come to consumate our marriage"
"Lord I have pmt at the moment but you can do me in the ass"
"OK says god, better than nothing"
So he proceeds to fuck her in the Totley
Just about to jizz he has a conscience and says "Sorry sister Mary I'm not god, I'm the guy on the bus"
"That's OK" says sister Mary "I'm not the nun, I'm the bus driver"
I thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ait88Man
over a year ago
Plymouth |
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 am., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying: 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. .'Get your own f******g blanket.'
After a moment of silence, he farted.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
