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Approaching women - the headphones debate
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Have you heard the furore surrounding the dating advice to men about approaching women wearing headphones?
https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2016/aug/30/how-to-actually-talk-to-a-woman-wearing-headphones
Men - would you follow this advice?
How would you feel if someone approached you to tell you they fancy you?
When and how would you approach someone?
Women - how do you view a stranger approaching you in this way?
Would you ever approach someone to tell them you fancy them?
What approaches would you welcome?
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"What to Do to Get Her Attention
1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).
2. Have a relaxed, easy-going smile.
3. Is she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can’t ignore it."
....someone's obviously done their research
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Interesting, the woman writer seems really uptight to me. But then I don't do the commute thing any more.
I smile and talk to anyone so I wouldn't wear headphones for that reason  "
I didn't hear her on the radio but another woman talking about it.
The question is, I believe, about when you are locking out the world while navigating it. How would you deal with that?
I'm Interested that you describe her outrage as being uptight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""What to Do to Get Her Attention
1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).
2. Have a relaxed, easy-going smile.
3. Is she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can’t ignore it."
....someone's obviously done their research
"
I'd like to think she reciprocated by taking his arm and throwing him over her shoulder in a sexy Judo stylie.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I commute. But it's a walking commute so I have my headphones at a sensible volume level so I can hear my surroundings. Plus I have spatial and visual awareness. People talk to me occasionally. I see them, hear a bit, take my earphones off to hear better and respond. No miming gestures necessary.
Mind you, no-one has ever approached me out of the blue to chat me up with or without headphones. I would find it very disconcerting if it ever happened since I have no frame of reference. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
""What to Do to Get Her Attention
1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).
2. Have a relaxed, easy-going smile.
3. Is she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can’t ignore it."
....someone's obviously done their research
"
Isn't that exactly what he is selling, that he has done the research? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter "
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter "
Me too. I avoid eye contact with others too if I can, without appearing rude. |
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter "
Exactly...most people are wearing headphones to shut the world out and indicate that they are not approachable...so unless a girls rucksack is on fire or something you should respect their right to not be bothered.  |
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For me personally, being closed off to the world is something I can't do any more.
If I'm ever on a train I look forward to chatting about whatever with strangers.
Anywhere I go I like to take it all in not shut it out. But that's just me
The fact she considers a man talking to her as a threat to her physical safety is also very sad.
She didn't say she was down a dark alleyway late at night when they approach so I think it's ok to assume she's just out and about or commuting. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I commute. But it's a walking commute so I have my headphones at a sensible volume level so I can hear my surroundings. Plus I have spatial and visual awareness. People talk to me occasionally. I see them, hear a bit, take my earphones off to hear better and respond. No miming gestures necessary.
Mind you, no-one has ever approached me out of the blue to chat me up with or without headphones. I would find it very disconcerting if it ever happened since I have no frame of reference."
How would you respond to a stranger you're not interested in communicating with stopping you to chat to you? |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I commute. But it's a walking commute so I have my headphones at a sensible volume level so I can hear my surroundings. Plus I have spatial and visual awareness. People talk to me occasionally. I see them, hear a bit, take my earphones off to hear better and respond. No miming gestures necessary.
Mind you, no-one has ever approached me out of the blue to chat me up with or without headphones. I would find it very disconcerting if it ever happened since I have no frame of reference.
How would you respond to a stranger you're not interested in communicating with stopping you to chat to you?"
I would feel self conscious, nervous and want to get the fuck away as soon as it was socially polite to. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"For me personally, being closed off to the world is something I can't do any more.
If I'm ever on a train I look forward to chatting about whatever with strangers.
Anywhere I go I like to take it all in not shut it out. But that's just me
The fact she considers a man talking to her as a threat to her physical safety is also very sad.
She didn't say she was down a dark alleyway late at night when they approach so I think it's ok to assume she's just out and about or commuting."
You don't have to be down a dark alley to feel uneasy. I've had the man on the bus sit next to me, start looking, start making comments to lead to a chat and pushing his body closer and closer.
Do I make a scene by telling him to move away? Do I get off the bus early? Do I hope he gets off before me? Do I risk him following me off the bus and seeing where I'm going?
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
Exactly...most people are wearing headphones to shut the world out and indicate that they are not approachable...so unless a girls rucksack is on fire or something you should respect their right to not be bothered. "
Is there ever a time you would think it's worth the risk and disturb them because you fancied them?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
"
no way! if I don't want to talk to anyone I use my body language, fold my arms and look away... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
its an odd one... because i have been stopped and asked more than once how my headphones work because they are wireless.....
the 1st time it happened it was kinda wierd... now i am use to it...
but using it as some sort of excuse to chat up people.... thats odd and a bit creepy.... |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
no way! if I don't want to talk to anyone I use my body language, fold my arms and look away..."
The 'advice' to men facing this is to wave their arm in your face and mime taking off the headphones and chatting.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"its an odd one... because i have been stopped and asked more than once how my headphones work because they are wireless.....
the 1st time it happened it was kinda wierd... now i am use to it...
but using it as some sort of excuse to chat up people.... thats odd and a bit creepy...."
Were they really chatting you up and you thought it was about the headphones?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I'm on a bus or the tube my phone stays in my bag. I never wear headphones. The last time I used London transport I had a funny conversation with an Australian woman about getting on the train and it wasn't going anywhere,as we were at the terminus and it had just came in. Then she sat on a wet seat and jumped up quickly,so we had a conversation about what might have caused the wetness and although it's not a good idea to sniff it,you know when you take it off tonight you're going to have to. You can't have conversations like that if you're zoned out of the real world trying to avoid people. I like to have my wits about me when I travel and be aware of my surroundings. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Maybe i should wear headphones !!
No one ever approaches me :-/"
Never?
The first time I went to Belfast I had men approaching me in the street to tell me they had seen me at the rugby the night before. I wasn't wearing headphones.
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"You don't have to be down a dark alley to feel uneasy. I've had the man on the bus sit next to me, start looking, start making comments to lead to a chat and pushing his body closer and closer.
Do I make a scene by telling him to move away? Do I get off the bus early? Do I hope he gets off before me? Do I risk him following me off the bus and seeing where I'm going?
"
I realise that, I've faced some shit situations in my time, but to assume every man is a nutjob and a rapist it sad, in my mind. |
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
Exactly...most people are wearing headphones to shut the world out and indicate that they are not approachable...so unless a girls rucksack is on fire or something you should respect their right to not be bothered.
Is there ever a time you would think it's worth the risk and disturb them because you fancied them?
"
Probably not to be honest...I think most times when people are using body language to discourage contact from others you should respect that.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"When I'm on a bus or the tube my phone stays in my bag. I never wear headphones. The last time I used London transport I had a funny conversation with an Australian woman about getting on the train and it wasn't going anywhere,as we were at the terminus and it had just came in. Then she sat on a wet seat and jumped up quickly,so we had a conversation about what might have caused the wetness and although it's not a good idea to sniff it,you know when you take it off tonight you're going to have to. You can't have conversations like that if you're zoned out of the real world trying to avoid people. I like to have my wits about me when I travel and be aware of my surroundings. "
I have funny conversations on public transport too.
One train journey back from the Oop North I ended up with FitFlops at cost price.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
no way! if I don't want to talk to anyone I use my body language, fold my arms and look away...
The 'advice' to men facing this is to wave their arm in your face and mime taking off the headphones and chatting.
"
I am quite shocked at this 'advice'...
I can see a lot of men walking around with shiners...as I said before the only reason I wear headphones is so I don't have to interact with anyone whilst out on my travels...I wouldn't want my personal space invaded by a random person waving his arms about in front of me |
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"When I'm on a bus or the tube my phone stays in my bag. I never wear headphones. The last time I used London transport I had a funny conversation with an Australian woman about getting on the train and it wasn't going anywhere,as we were at the terminus and it had just came in. Then she sat on a wet seat and jumped up quickly,so we had a conversation about what might have caused the wetness and although it's not a good idea to sniff it,you know when you take it off tonight you're going to have to. You can't have conversations like that if you're zoned out of the real world trying to avoid people. I like to have my wits about me when I travel and be aware of my surroundings. "
We're in the same camp over this then
Everyone sees the world differently but to assume all men are dangerous is like assuming all women are nagging cows. It's just not correct |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
Exactly...most people are wearing headphones to shut the world out and indicate that they are not approachable...so unless a girls rucksack is on fire or something you should respect their right to not be bothered.
Is there ever a time you would think it's worth the risk and disturb them because you fancied them?
Probably not to be honest...I think most times when people are using body language to discourage contact from others you should respect that.
"
I do too but I think some aren't capable of reading the language.
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
I read the Guardian article and the original "How to annoy women" article.
I can only once again conclude:
A)I clearly inhabit some sort of parallel universe; and
B)You townfolk are mental. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
no way! if I don't want to talk to anyone I use my body language, fold my arms and look away...
The 'advice' to men facing this is to wave their arm in your face and mime taking off the headphones and chatting.
I am quite shocked at this 'advice'...
I can see a lot of men walking around with shiners...as I said before the only reason I wear headphones is so I don't have to interact with anyone whilst out on my travels...I wouldn't want my personal space invaded by a random person waving his arms about in front of me"
Hence the furore around this 'advice'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter "
This happens to me all the time. (Not chatted up'). The nutter on the bus scenario. My daughter commented on it and it happens to her too and to both of us when we're together.
I showed her the Jasper carrot sketch on youtube. Forgot how funny that was.
Happened during a meet at a pub a few weeks ago too.  
Anyway,ear phones not required,that certain smile will say it all.  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"When I'm on a bus or the tube my phone stays in my bag. I never wear headphones. The last time I used London transport I had a funny conversation with an Australian woman about getting on the train and it wasn't going anywhere,as we were at the terminus and it had just came in. Then she sat on a wet seat and jumped up quickly,so we had a conversation about what might have caused the wetness and although it's not a good idea to sniff it,you know when you take it off tonight you're going to have to. You can't have conversations like that if you're zoned out of the real world trying to avoid people. I like to have my wits about me when I travel and be aware of my surroundings.
We're in the same camp over this then
Everyone sees the world differently but to assume all men are dangerous is like assuming all women are nagging cows. It's just not correct "
I don't think the columnist, or any of the women saying they don't want to be disturbed, are assuming all men are dangerous. They are just saying they don't want to be disturbed. It gets to feeling dangerous when someone ignores that DND body language.
You are saying you are happy to be disturbed. That's fine - for you. You also seem to be suggesting that there would never be a time when you're not happy to be disturbed, which is highly unusual. Most of us have the odd day when we go inward and would rather not have strangers force their agenda on us.
None of that is saying all men trying to engage women are dangerous.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I read the Guardian article and the original "How to annoy women" article.
I can only once again conclude:
A)I clearly inhabit some sort of parallel universe; and
B)You townfolk are mental. "
The advice isn't just for townfolk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like this version better.
http://m.thedailymash.co.uk/features/how-to-talk-to-a-woman-wearing-an-astronauts-helmet-20160901113135
Seriously though, if I had purposely shut out the world by wearing headphones, making it very obvious I didn't want to talk to people, I would be mightily pissed off by some stranger blocking my way and demanding I talk to him. If I seem hesitant it's because I don't want to talk, not a bloody 'test'.  |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I read the Guardian article and the original "How to annoy women" article.
I can only once again conclude:
A)I clearly inhabit some sort of parallel universe; and
B)You townfolk are mental.
The advice isn't just for townfolk. "
I've not noticed an abundance of people wandering around the country with headphones in, to be honest. The only place I see them being worn is in the gym, which is, of course in the town.
Nobody wants to be talked to when they are working out, male or female, headphones or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
no way! if I don't want to talk to anyone I use my body language, fold my arms and look away...
The 'advice' to men facing this is to wave their arm in your face and mime taking off the headphones and chatting.
"
"Most women will understand this action." What the hell??!! Silly woman might not realise what the intelligent caveman means?
"In most cases, you won’t have to go to that extreme, but some girls are shy and will be hesitant to take the headphones off right away because they are feeling a lot of nervousness and excitement about what is happening."
...Is this the same guy that gives seminars on how to rape women? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I like this version better.
http://m.thedailymash.co.uk/features/how-to-talk-to-a-woman-wearing-an-astronauts-helmet-20160901113135
Seriously though, if I had purposely shut out the world by wearing headphones, making it very obvious I didn't want to talk to people, I would be mightily pissed off by some stranger blocking my way and demanding I talk to him. If I seem hesitant it's because I don't want to talk, not a bloody 'test'. "
Thank you for that version.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I read the Guardian article and the original "How to annoy women" article.
I can only once again conclude:
A)I clearly inhabit some sort of parallel universe; and
B)You townfolk are mental.
The advice isn't just for townfolk.
I've not noticed an abundance of people wandering around the country with headphones in, to be honest. The only place I see them being worn is in the gym, which is, of course in the town.
Nobody wants to be talked to when they are working out, male or female, headphones or not. "
Someone will. They've been given permission with this dating advice. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
no way! if I don't want to talk to anyone I use my body language, fold my arms and look away...
The 'advice' to men facing this is to wave their arm in your face and mime taking off the headphones and chatting.
"Most women will understand this action." What the hell??!! Silly woman might not realise what the intelligent caveman means?
"In most cases, you won’t have to go to that extreme, but some girls are shy and will be hesitant to take the headphones off right away because they are feeling a lot of nervousness and excitement about what is happening."
...Is this the same guy that gives seminars on how to rape women?"
No that's Julien Blanc.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina. "
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina. "
That's the thing though isn't it? Because of the fuckspud who penned (and I use the term loosely) the original "advice", certain young men who lack confidence talking to members of the opposite sex will decide, out of niaeveity to folloow his "Guide for a swift kick in the nuts" and then will wonder why it isn't working...
As soon as she's old enough, I'm going to teach my daughter how to effectively target the bollocks for swift dissuasion of potential "suitors".... |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
wearing headphones is bloody dangerous..what about an 'unfriendly person' coming up from behind...dont waear headphones because i like my spatial awareness to be as acute as possible..and number of times ive seen people not be attentive to traffic, cos they cant hear it... |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I haven't read it but when I'm out on my own, I wear in ear headphones precisely so people wont approach me as I'm usually the one on the bus that attracts the nutter
The 'advice' is that you WILL engage if the man is 'assertive' enough. You are really testing him and will like his manliness all the more.
"
*snort*
Yeah, ok... |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I commute. But it's a walking commute so I have my headphones at a sensible volume level so I can hear my surroundings. Plus I have spatial and visual awareness. People talk to me occasionally. I see them, hear a bit, take my earphones off to hear better and respond. No miming gestures necessary.
Mind you, no-one has ever approached me out of the blue to chat me up with or without headphones. I would find it very disconcerting if it ever happened since I have no frame of reference.
How would you respond to a stranger you're not interested in communicating with stopping you to chat to you?"
I'd think they were probably trying to sell me something or get me to sign up for a monthly direct debit to some charity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of men that come to Fab appear to have read this 'advice'. 
Should Fab provide a waving arms in face emoticon to help them?
"
I mean the overall rapey context of the 'advice' article.
'She wants it. If she's single and takes her headphones off it means she is interested in your creepy advances. Don't take no for an answer or she will think you're not manly.' 
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I read the Guardian article and the original "How to annoy women" article.
I can only once again conclude:
A)I clearly inhabit some sort of parallel universe; and
B)You townfolk are mental.
The advice isn't just for townfolk.
I've not noticed an abundance of people wandering around the country with headphones in, to be honest. The only place I see them being worn is in the gym, which is, of course in the town.
Nobody wants to be talked to when they are working out, male or female, headphones or not. "
When I used to use a gym, if I'd been able to maintain a conversation with anyone I'd up my pace because I wouldn't be training hard enough. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"A lot of men that come to Fab appear to have read this 'advice'.
Should Fab provide a waving arms in face emoticon to help them?
"
As long as we also get a punch up the bracket emoticon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
"
There should really be a counter-article for women describing how to tell a guy that thinks he can use these kinds of tricks that he is a cock-juggling thundercunt :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"its an odd one... because i have been stopped and asked more than once how my headphones work because they are wireless.....
the 1st time it happened it was kinda wierd... now i am use to it...
but using it as some sort of excuse to chat up people.... thats odd and a bit creepy...."
What headphones to you have? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
There should really be a counter-article for women describing how to tell a guy that thinks he can use these kinds of tricks that he is a cock-juggling thundercunt :D"
They probably exist, but, as the article points out, you get abuse and it can feel dangerous.
|
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"A lot of men that come to Fab appear to have read this 'advice'.
Should Fab provide a waving arms in face emoticon to help them?
I mean the overall rapey context of the 'advice' article.
'She wants it. If she's single and takes her headphones off it means she is interested in your creepy advances. Don't take no for an answer or she will think you're not manly.'
"
I know. Sadly, the block button doesn't work on the man pressing himself against you on the bus.
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Ah yes, this bit sounds familiar...
"Him: I see you don’t want to be talked to but I find you physically attractive and I’m making that your problem.
Her: Please leave me alone.
Him: F*** YOU, YOU STUCK UP B****, I DIDN’T FANCY YOU ANYWAY.
"
Where have I heard that before? I can't seem to place it. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"its an odd one... because i have been stopped and asked more than once how my headphones work because they are wireless.....
the 1st time it happened it was kinda wierd... now i am use to it...
but using it as some sort of excuse to chat up people.... thats odd and a bit creepy....
What headphones to you have?"
See, I didn't ask in case Fabio thought I was trying to get into his pants. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
There should really be a counter-article for women describing how to tell a guy that thinks he can use these kinds of tricks that he is a cock-juggling thundercunt :D
They probably exist, but, as the article points out, you get abuse and it can feel dangerous.
"
Which is the best advert for self defence classes ever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
There should really be a counter-article for women describing how to tell a guy that thinks he can use these kinds of tricks that he is a cock-juggling thundercunt :D
They probably exist, but, as the article points out, you get abuse and it can feel dangerous.
"
And that is exactly how the game is played to those types of men - they know that women will be scared to reject them. It's sad that this is the world we live in where this type of misogyny still exists |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I'm on a bus or the tube my phone stays in my bag. I never wear headphones. The last time I used London transport I had a funny conversation with an Australian woman about getting on the train and it wasn't going anywhere,as we were at the terminus and it had just came in. Then she sat on a wet seat and jumped up quickly,so we had a conversation about what might have caused the wetness and although it's not a good idea to sniff it,you know when you take it off tonight you're going to have to. You can't have conversations like that if you're zoned out of the real world trying to avoid people. I like to have my wits about me when I travel and be aware of my surroundings.
I have funny conversations on public transport too.
One train journey back from the Oop North I ended up with FitFlops at cost price.
"
I can go weeks without having a non-family related adult conversation. I like my train and bus journeys to have some social interaction,especially if it's a long journey.
I did laugh at some of her words,but she does come across a bit dramatic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You don't have to be down a dark alley to feel uneasy. I've had the man on the bus sit next to me, start looking, start making comments to lead to a chat and pushing his body closer and closer.
Do I make a scene by telling him to move away? Do I get off the bus early? Do I hope he gets off before me? Do I risk him following me off the bus and seeing where I'm going?
I realise that, I've faced some shit situations in my time, but to assume every man is a nutjob and a rapist it sad, in my mind."
I agree.
I think it would depend on how he initially asked. Smiling... hands waving to indicate 'take your headphones off please'... man may be friendly.
Or a slightly aggressive grunt and leering... be wary, he may be an issue so discreetly consider escape routes. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
There should really be a counter-article for women describing how to tell a guy that thinks he can use these kinds of tricks that he is a cock-juggling thundercunt :D
They probably exist, but, as the article points out, you get abuse and it can feel dangerous.
And that is exactly how the game is played to those types of men - they know that women will be scared to reject them. It's sad that this is the world we live in where this type of misogyny still exists "
There is a really good course men can go on. It's called the Good Lad Workshop. It has been running in various universities.
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"A lot of men that come to Fab appear to have read this 'advice'.
Should Fab provide a waving arms in face emoticon to help them?
I mean the overall rapey context of the 'advice' article.
'She wants it. If she's single and takes her headphones off it means she is interested in your creepy advances. Don't take no for an answer or she will think you're not manly.'
I know. Sadly, the block button doesn't work on the man pressing himself against you on the bus.
"
Once upon a time I would have remained uncomfortable, avoided making a scene and tried to ignore it until I could make my escape wherever I was going.
Not so much anymore.
Although I did let an old(er than me) guy working in B&Q get away with stroking my hair whilst I was using a self-service till in the store, even though it made me deeply uncomfortable.
My hair was rainbow coloured at tbe time, not that it should make any difference, which is what attracted his attention to it. I got the feeling he was being friendly, badly, rather than having any nefarious, or even romantic, intent.
It was easy to walk away, knowing he couldn't follow, so although I couldn't help but tense when he touched me, I let it go without making a fuss. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
Men have vaginas? The only men I have come across with a belief they have a vagina is in their belief of ownership of a woman. Usually one they can punch in the vagina.
There should really be a counter-article for women describing how to tell a guy that thinks he can use these kinds of tricks that he is a cock-juggling thundercunt :D
They probably exist, but, as the article points out, you get abuse and it can feel dangerous.
And that is exactly how the game is played to those types of men - they know that women will be scared to reject them. It's sad that this is the world we live in where this type of misogyny still exists "
Some women.
Then they pick the wrong one. It's usually a painful and humiliating lesson |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was chatted up twice,on the same station platform. They both got on my train and carried on chatting to me,one even got on my bus after the train. We had a nice conversation and then I made it clear that I wasn't interested. No dramas from them,they said goodbye and went on their way. I also had a man catch up to me in the street,walk to the shops with me,chatting as we walked,and waited for me outside the shop. On the way back home I made it clear I wasn't interested and he bade me farewell. I never felt scared or in danger;it was just men trying to chat up a woman. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't tend to like men hitting on me in public. It's a benefit of being fat that it happens much less now, particularly as I often wear fuck off body language and facial expression when out.
I used to get a lot of unwanted attention when I was young and slim, with big boobs. It made me feel very uncomfortable. I was quite shy.
I actually have a psychological issue with losing weight in case I start getting unwanted attention again. I'm much older now so maybe I wouldn't and I'm significantly better equipped to deal with it, but I still have the anxiety. |
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"Have you heard the furore surrounding the dating advice to men about approaching women wearing headphones?
https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2016/aug/30/how-to-actually-talk-to-a-woman-wearing-headphones
Men - would you follow this advice?
How would you feel if someone approached you to tell you they fancy you?
When and how would you approach someone?
Women - how do you view a stranger approaching you in this way?
Would you ever approach someone to tell them you fancy them?
What approaches would you welcome?
"
i use the Irish approach.....guarenteed to test her humour.......
met a nice girl in the gym last week and said to her......cor...i wish i was 10 years older !!.....she said "you cheeky sod".......then we got chatting and i took her for a coffee x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Last time I tried using my headphones to ignore a guy it didn't work. He tapped me on my arm to get my attention and I just didn't want him to touch me again. So I took them out and listened to his crap but he kept saying stuff like me and him need to meet and how one night stands were a good thing  Ummmm yuck!!!
Generally though I speak to anyone that approaches me so I'll take my headphones out; I just ask they don't touch me. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Last time I tried using my headphones to ignore a guy it didn't work. He tapped me on my arm to get my attention and I just didn't want him to touch me again. So I took them out and listened to his crap but he kept saying stuff like me and him need to meet and how one night stands were a good thing Ummmm yuck!!!
Generally though I speak to anyone that approaches me so I'll take my headphones out; I just ask they don't touch me. "
So, the man touching you got a partial 'win' as you spoke to him/listened to his spiel.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is all part of the male "game" to get notches on the bedpost, nobody who wants a genuine relationship with a girl will ever use these kinds of things.
Any man who uses things like this as a way of asserting his "dominance" deserves a punch in his vagina.
That's the thing though isn't it? Because of the fuckspud who penned (and I use the term loosely) the original "advice", certain young men who lack confidence talking to members of the opposite sex will decide, out of niaeveity to folloow his "Guide for a swift kick in the nuts" and then will wonder why it isn't working...
As soon as she's old enough, I'm going to teach my daughter how to effectively target the bollocks for swift dissuasion of potential "suitors"...."
There's whole sites devoted to all that chat up 'game' stuff. Google the 'manosphere' or 'red pill movement'
Getting back to the headphones debate, my perspective is that someone on the autistic spectrum might be wearing them to deal with the sensory problems of public transport. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last time I tried using my headphones to ignore a guy it didn't work. He tapped me on my arm to get my attention and I just didn't want him to touch me again. So I took them out and listened to his crap but he kept saying stuff like me and him need to meet and how one night stands were a good thing Ummmm yuck!!!
Generally though I speak to anyone that approaches me so I'll take my headphones out; I just ask they don't touch me.
So, the man touching you got a partial 'win' as you spoke to him/listened to his spiel.
"
If u can call it a win. The second they touch me to get my attention I have already made up my mind and it's a no. Why touch me when words are sufficient? I may listen to their crap to make sure they won't touch me again but that's about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it will depend on location too. Mad busy London commuting vs wandering around in a nice market town are two very different places."
This
London is a very weird place, nobody is able to talk to anyone without an agenda.
In Bristol if a person is wearing headphones and you wish to talk to them, just say hi in line of sight. People don't always assume you are a mad stalker or worse a financial advisor...
If its a chat up line it is simply processed the same way it would be in a pub or club.
But outside London conversation and interaction are strangely viewed as normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so unless a girls rucksack is on fire or something you should respect their right to not be bothered. "
Shhh, setting fire to rucksacks is the next volume of the how to book...  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think it will depend on location too. Mad busy London commuting vs wandering around in a nice market town are two very different places.
This
London is a very weird place, nobody is able to talk to anyone without an agenda.
In Bristol if a person is wearing headphones and you wish to talk to them, just say hi in line of sight. People don't always assume you are a mad stalker or worse a financial advisor...
If its a chat up line it is simply processed the same way it would be in a pub or club.
But outside London conversation and interaction are strangely viewed as normal."
I have conversations in London.
The advice piece isn't about just London. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think it will depend on location too. Mad busy London commuting vs wandering around in a nice market town are two very different places.
This
London is a very weird place, nobody is able to talk to anyone without an agenda.
In Bristol if a person is wearing headphones and you wish to talk to them, just say hi in line of sight. People don't always assume you are a mad stalker or worse a financial advisor...
If its a chat up line it is simply processed the same way it would be in a pub or club.
But outside London conversation and interaction are strangely viewed as normal.
I have conversations in London.
The advice piece isn't about just London."
The original advice piece isn't really about this planet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it will depend on location too. Mad busy London commuting vs wandering around in a nice market town are two very different places.
This
London is a very weird place, nobody is able to talk to anyone without an agenda.
In Bristol if a person is wearing headphones and you wish to talk to them, just say hi in line of sight. People don't always assume you are a mad stalker or worse a financial advisor...
If its a chat up line it is simply processed the same way it would be in a pub or club.
But outside London conversation and interaction are strangely viewed as normal.v
I have conversations in London.
The advice piece isn't about just London."
The problem is if you take any generalisation and apply it to all circumstances it becomes ludicrous and creepy.
Took our granddaughter aged 5, across London on the tube once at 7:30am, she has no barriers to who she spoke to, and started conversations with everyone, before we reached Wimbledon all headphones were out and the whole carriage was chatting instead. I bet they all had a great day at work.
While I agree that the advice given is weird and scary, I also feel it's a sad fact that people need walls to shut out the world because the perception is the world only wants to interact to take something.
we went wrong somewhere |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think it will depend on location too. Mad busy London commuting vs wandering around in a nice market town are two very different places.
This
London is a very weird place, nobody is able to talk to anyone without an agenda.
In Bristol if a person is wearing headphones and you wish to talk to them, just say hi in line of sight. People don't always assume you are a mad stalker or worse a financial advisor...
If its a chat up line it is simply processed the same way it would be in a pub or club.
But outside London conversation and interaction are strangely viewed as normal.v
I have conversations in London.
The advice piece isn't about just London.
The problem is if you take any generalisation and apply it to all circumstances it becomes ludicrous and creepy.
Took our granddaughter aged 5, across London on the tube once at 7:30am, she has no barriers to who she spoke to, and started conversations with everyone, before we reached Wimbledon all headphones were out and the whole carriage was chatting instead. I bet they all had a great day at work.
While I agree that the advice given is weird and scary, I also feel it's a sad fact that people need walls to shut out the world because the perception is the world only wants to interact to take something.
we went wrong somewhere "
It started with the Dansette, then the Walkman... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we went wrong somewhere
It started with the Dansette, then the Walkman..."
My shoulder still has dents from carrying Dansette around
I think it only got bad with mobile phones and the Internet. I do remember killing time between work in London sat in a pub with every customer on the phone to someone probably sat in another pub, rather than interact with the people they happened to be with.
That isolation leads to dicks writing books on how to penetrate the barrier. and creeps being the only ones daft enough to try it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we went wrong somewhere
It started with the Dansette, then the Walkman...
My shoulder still has dents from carrying Dansette around
I think it only got bad with mobile phones and the Internet. I do remember killing time between work in London sat in a pub with every customer on the phone to someone probably sat in another pub, rather than interact with the people they happened to be with.
That isolation leads to dicks writing books on how to penetrate the barrier. and creeps being the only ones daft enough to try it. "
I see it on the tube all the time. The new trains with no carriage dividers means you can look along the whole length of the train. Usually,most people are staring at a phone or Kindle. I'm the creepy woman studying their faces and looking at their shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we went wrong somewhere
It started with the Dansette, then the Walkman...
My shoulder still has dents from carrying Dansette around
I think it only got bad with mobile phones and the Internet. I do remember killing time between work in London sat in a pub with every customer on the phone to someone probably sat in another pub, rather than interact with the people they happened to be with.
That isolation leads to dicks writing books on how to penetrate the barrier. and creeps being the only ones daft enough to try it.
I see it on the tube all the time. The new trains with no carriage dividers means you can look along the whole length of the train. Usually,most people are staring at a phone or Kindle. I'm the creepy woman studying their faces and looking at their shoes. "
I got to say, I find it hard to believe people were so much more different in the past. I've seen a meme that compares London tube carriages. In the pictures from the 50s/60s etc everybody has their heads buried in newspapers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we went wrong somewhere
It started with the Dansette, then the Walkman...
My shoulder still has dents from carrying Dansette around
I think it only got bad with mobile phones and the Internet. I do remember killing time between work in London sat in a pub with every customer on the phone to someone probably sat in another pub, rather than interact with the people they happened to be with.
That isolation leads to dicks writing books on how to penetrate the barrier. and creeps being the only ones daft enough to try it.
I see it on the tube all the time. The new trains with no carriage dividers means you can look along the whole length of the train. Usually,most people are staring at a phone or Kindle. I'm the creepy woman studying their faces and looking at their shoes.
I got to say, I find it hard to believe people were so much more different in the past. I've seen a meme that compares London tube carriages. In the pictures from the 50s/60s etc everybody has their heads buried in newspapers. "
Where they mainly businessmen in the photos? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I certainly use headphones as a barrier between me and the world, and I have had experiences of men trying to talk to me and chat me up. It's like their 'right' to chat me up is more important than my right to be left alone. Just on Saturday when I was travelling to Taunton on the train, I had an older guy sit next to me in the aisle seat, and on a couple of occasions indicated I take my headphones out, with a lechy smile on his face. He actually waited until the ticket guy came round and as soon as I'd taken my headphones out he asked me where I was going, if I had a boyfriend, etc. I answered politely, hoping he would get the hint. When there was a lull in conversation I put my earbud back in and he got the message (and then proceeded to fall asleep on me...)
The assumption that an assertive male is hot and gets us weak ladies all riled up is wrong, but with rape culture and male privilege and entitlement to sexual contact, that's what the majority of fedora wearing fuck boys seem to think we want. Makes me very sad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't tend to wear headphones when out and about. But I do agree with princessfucktoy's comments. In some ways social niceties have hampered me, as I tend to not want to be seen as rude when I don't want to have a conversation with a stranger.
Maybe I'm unfriendly but any approach by a man would be seen as a threat, both when I was single and now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do find it odd that so many people want to block out the world around them in this way. But that is their choice (except no headphones on bikes, that is plain daft). I would never invade anyone's personal space or privacy in the way suggested. |
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There was a study done years ago that the current headphone trend is actually stopping people approaching others, it said that when people wear the headphones it is basically putting up a barrier to others.
Not sure if people agree with that or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing. "
Totally agree. Some people are energised by social interaction, for me it's draining. Why assume those who want their own space are social cripples who need to be pitied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I heard the radio debate. I was always taught never to talk to strangers so I don't, male or female. Everyone is entitled to the basic human rights of silence, solitude and not being gratuitously accosted by some arrogant dodgy dude in a park!
If a woman fancies me, if she took off her headphones and asked me for her number, I wouldn't stop her. However, if I stopped her... jeez, I know women who've activated their rape alarms for less! And I wouldn't blame them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing. "
But you miss the point - men ARE a threat! As a woman, you should treat every man as a potential danger. If you don't, you're way to trusting. There are some bloody evil people around and the trouble is, they don't go around with a visible label saying 'I'm bad'! Unless they're Jacko fans! Personally, I hope my daughter learns never to trust men. Some of us are good but most haven't developed since the cave-man stage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing.
But you miss the point - men ARE a threat! As a woman, you should treat every man as a potential danger. If you don't, you're way to trusting. There are some bloody evil people around and the trouble is, they don't go around with a visible label saying 'I'm bad'! Unless they're Jacko fans! Personally, I hope my daughter learns never to trust men. Some of us are good but most haven't developed since the cave-man stage. "
I'm not missing the point and I'm not a trusting person at all, I just approach everyone from a neutral standpoint until something happens to indicate otherwise. I can look after myself. I hope you don't teach your daughter to be a perpetual victim. Be cautious, be wary, be sensible and don't be naive - but to live all day every day assuming everyone is a potential rapist or murderer seems just as dangerous as being too trusting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If my headphones are in, then don't approach me. Simple as that."
You shouldn't need to put headphones in. The rules should be 'Don't approach me'! Simple! Mothers need to teach their sons to behave better! Approaching random women is NOT socially acceptable! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing.
But you miss the point - men ARE a threat! As a woman, you should treat every man as a potential danger. If you don't, you're way to trusting. There are some bloody evil people around and the trouble is, they don't go around with a visible label saying 'I'm bad'! Unless they're Jacko fans! Personally, I hope my daughter learns never to trust men. Some of us are good but most haven't developed since the cave-man stage.
I'm not missing the point and I'm not a trusting person at all, I just approach everyone from a neutral standpoint until something happens to indicate otherwise. I can look after myself. I hope you don't teach your daughter to be a perpetual victim. Be cautious, be wary, be sensible and don't be naive - but to live all day every day assuming everyone is a potential rapist or murderer seems just as dangerous as being too trusting. "
Well, I reckon if I was a woman I'd be a lesbian for two simple reasons.
1) Women are gorgeous and guys aren't.
2) Men are dangerous and women aren't.
Simple logic really and irrefutably true! |
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"wearing headphones is bloody dangerous..what about an 'unfriendly person' coming up from behind...dont waear headphones because i like my spatial awareness to be as acute as possible..and number of times ive seen people not be attentive to traffic, cos they cant hear it... "
taught this to both our kids many years ago, one is male 6' 3'' and 2nd dan martial arts. The other is female and not quite as qualified in that area but its not only about being aware of other people approaching for whatever reason's its about safety in general out on the streets etc.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing.
But you miss the point - men ARE a threat! As a woman, you should treat every man as a potential danger. If you don't, you're way to trusting. There are some bloody evil people around and the trouble is, they don't go around with a visible label saying 'I'm bad'! Unless they're Jacko fans! Personally, I hope my daughter learns never to trust men. Some of us are good but most haven't developed since the cave-man stage.
I'm not missing the point and I'm not a trusting person at all, I just approach everyone from a neutral standpoint until something happens to indicate otherwise. I can look after myself. I hope you don't teach your daughter to be a perpetual victim. Be cautious, be wary, be sensible and don't be naive - but to live all day every day assuming everyone is a potential rapist or murderer seems just as dangerous as being too trusting.
Well, I reckon if I was a woman I'd be a lesbian for two simple reasons.
1) Women are gorgeous and guys aren't.
2) Men are dangerous and women aren't.
Simple logic really and irrefutably true! "
1) Subjective, because you're straight. I'm not attracted to women. Some guys are gorgeous to me, no women are.
2) Some men are dangerous, some aren't. Some women aren't dangerous, some are.
If you think no women can be dangerous, there's only one of us who is too trusting and it ain't me. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I'm an introvert and I find constant social interaction with people really tiring. I have to do that all day at work, and with family and friends in the evenings and at weekends.
So if I've got half an hour while I'm walking home, or twenty minutes on the bus, I really want to spend that time being quiet, listening to music and not wasting my energy interacting with people I'll never see again. Obviously if someone needs help, or directions or whatever, it's perfectly easy to make eye contact and get my attention and I'll take them out.
It's not that I see all men as a threat, it's just that I find it really annoying having to talk to people when I don't want to. It's a really unwanted assumption made by a lot of people, both male and female, that if they want to have pointless conversations with strangers to pass the time, other people must want to do the same thing.
But you miss the point - men ARE a threat! As a woman, you should treat every man as a potential danger. If you don't, you're way to trusting. There are some bloody evil people around and the trouble is, they don't go around with a visible label saying 'I'm bad'! Unless they're Jacko fans! Personally, I hope my daughter learns never to trust men. Some of us are good but most haven't developed since the cave-man stage.
I'm not missing the point and I'm not a trusting person at all, I just approach everyone from a neutral standpoint until something happens to indicate otherwise. I can look after myself. I hope you don't teach your daughter to be a perpetual victim. Be cautious, be wary, be sensible and don't be naive - but to live all day every day assuming everyone is a potential rapist or murderer seems just as dangerous as being too trusting.
Well, I reckon if I was a woman I'd be a lesbian for two simple reasons.
1) Women are gorgeous and guys aren't.
2) Men are dangerous and women aren't.
Simple logic really and irrefutably true! "
Women aren't dangerous. Some are!
What a sad view you have of most men from your other post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yup, well, listen to the news more often. Nearly every time the criminals are male. Stupid bastards who let the side down! Sad but true! "
If we're basing this on probabilities then yes, most criminals are male.
But in that case, statistically speaking, most males aren't criminals.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"its an odd one... because i have been stopped and asked more than once how my headphones work because they are wireless.....
the 1st time it happened it was kinda wierd... now i am use to it...
but using it as some sort of excuse to chat up people.... thats odd and a bit creepy....
What headphones to you have?"
I have a pair of skullcandy wireless over the ear headphones.... i was a wirekiller and just to go thru earbuds like a beast... these have lasted almost 18 months and i love them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You do know prolonged use of headphones can help you go deaf in later life, some will think who cares, shame you might miss out on hearing the grandkids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You do know prolonged use of headphones can help you go deaf in later life, some will think who cares, shame you might miss out on hearing the grandkids."
Says the man without screaming grandchildren |
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