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Pun of the day

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

Conjunctivitis.com

A site for sore eyes.

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By *ulfilthmentMan over a year ago

Just around the corner

Don't make a spectacle of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She's a bit Bi-vocal (fetches coat)

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm calling in sick because of my eye problem.

I can't see myself coming into work today.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

What happened when the two monocles met up?

They made a spectacle of themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you watched the Bee movie?

No, I just buzzed off, it wasn't the honey pot I wanted it to be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos.

But it's hard.... So hard!

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By *anklerMan over a year ago

Suffolk

I had a pun about construction

But it's not finished yet

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

do you want glasses ones or any????

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

Did you hear about that guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now!

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"Did you hear about that guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now! "

I always found him a bit one-sided.

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

"Did you hear about that guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now!

I always found him a bit one-sided."

Ha!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The guy that invented Polos

He made a mint

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest.

He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know quite a few puns about unemployed people, but none of them work

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

Yesterday I swallowed some food colouring. The doctor said I'd be fine but I feel like a little bit of me dyed inside.

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

Tried to catch fog last night. Mist!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

I've got the dentist today...230

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By *occerstar579Man over a year ago

Harrogate

"I've got the dentist today...230"

Hope it goes well!

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By *lue NarwhalMan over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

It's not that I don't know how to juggle, I just don't have the balls to do it.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

Me as well, I'll have to go just after you, 2:32

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"I've got the dentist today...230

Hope it goes well!"

Puns.... 230.....

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By *occerstar579Man over a year ago

Harrogate

"I've got the dentist today...230

Hope it goes well!

Puns.... 230..... "

Eh?

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By *lue NarwhalMan over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Doh...

Tooth hurty

Go on, stand in the corner!!

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"I've got the dentist today...230

Hope it goes well!

Puns.... 230.....

Eh?"

It's a pun thread . 230, tooth 'urty

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Me as well, I'll have to go just after you, 2:32

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I cut off the bottom of my trouser leg and left it in the library, I thought well that's a turn up for the books

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got stung by a bee yesterday

Charged me four quid for a jar of honey

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

I was offered 8 legs of venison. I didn't buy them it was too dear

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you seen the price of Velcro ?

What a rip off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone's been on the Tim vine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I did hear they were gonna do blind javelin in the Paralympics this year but they dropped it as they couldn't see the point

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By *ustfortonightMan over a year ago

Kent

Went to the zoo with my friend the other day. We didn't know the difference between a turtle and a terrapin until someone tortoise.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

Last night while at the top of Blackpool tower, I asked Mrs B to toss me off.

Mr B,

Blackpool Royal Infirmary

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By *azNdavCouple over a year ago

barnsley

I was going to look for my missing watch. But I just can't seem to find the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's like I said to the stupid dwarf

Your not big

And your not clever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've a great recipe on e mail for home made sausages

I'll send you a link

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When James Bond is constipated he has a "Shite for shore eyesh!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've got the dentist today...230"

A quote from sweet tooth in whizzer and chips.

Or was it the beano?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I went into a pub and ordered a double entendre and the barmaid gave me one

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By *uracell BunniesWoman over a year ago

peterborough

"I'm calling in sick because of my eye problem.

I can't see myself coming into work today. "
lol

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By *educed OP Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

That bloke who invented window sills eh?

What a ledge!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That bloke who invented window sills eh?

What a ledge!

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By *arksMan over a year ago

in the centre

Swallowed a load of twenty pences last week , Dr said to just allow nature to take its course. I checked earlier , still no change

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

I lost a race last week, just as I reached the winning line someone spit a grape seed in my face, yep I was pipped at the post

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm no expert on masturbation but I can hold my own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My gf and I met at Castanet class. We just clicked

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple over a year ago

Edinburgh.

I bought a cheap wig because I didn't want those toupée

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

I own a large brass band but I don't like to blow my own trumpet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

women who think size doesn't matter are just shallow

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By *arksMan over a year ago

in the centre

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game

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By *emplarWarriorMan over a year ago

Nottingham

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two interesting facts about me: 1) My Knob is the length of two Argos pens 2) I'm banned from Argos......

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

youre nuts!

bollocks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So I have a question, is eating Eagle, L-eagle?

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By *verysmileMan over a year ago

Canterbury

[Removed by poster at 03/09/16 19:44:58]

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By *verysmileMan over a year ago

Canterbury

My boss asked me to provide her with an example of a double entendre so I gave her one!

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By *ohnaronMan over a year ago

london

Our firemen have gone to Saville Row for their uniforms.

They wanted as best as possible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really need to confront my phobia of German sausages, but I fear the wurst....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to be a tap dancer...til I broke my ankle...fell in the sink!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't know if my ceiling is the best in the world, but it's definitely up there..

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