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FAB speak
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet "
Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant!  ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet
Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant! !"
Pregnant? Unlikely. Menopausal more like.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet
Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant! !
Pregnant? Unlikely. Menopausal more like. "
I've met a few Menopausal Women in Club's over the Year's even Nature Won't stop them!  . |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work "
Even the women?
Besides, to some professional just means "I have a job and am not on benefits".
They think professional just means they do work they are paid for! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.
Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Attractive : my mum says so
Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know  "
I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie. |
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"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know
I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie."
It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Athletic (on a male profile) :
95% of the time this means I play a bit of sport and am not completely unfit or even, I watch some sport on tv and am not overweight.
No, guys, it means you have an athletic build. Low body fat, muscles, y'know?
Being fit and strong do not an athletic build make. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know
I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.
It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway "
Maybe a few decades ago  |
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"I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway
Maybe a few decades ago "
Only a few??? I thought you might have said a few centuries ago
But it did suit me though with my long locks and dashing good looks   |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Dominate (used as an adjective or noun) : I am an idiot with a poor grasp of the English language.
Dominant : often means "I saw 50 Shades and want to be rough during sex and make my partners do what I want".
I love to lick pussy for hours : I have no idea what women want or how to please a woman sexually. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway
Maybe a few decades ago
Only a few??? I thought you might have said a few centuries ago
But it did suit me though with my long locks and dashing good looks "
I meant women wearing a bow thing, not you wearing a cravat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dominator - I'm bigger and bolder and rougher and tougher in other words sucker there is no other....
I'm the one n only dominator!...
I'm the one n only dominator!....
I wanna kiss myself! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know
I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.
It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway "
I had a skinny red leather tie in my youth. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.
Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Attractive : my mum says so
Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal "
Oi,I don't have a type and I don't shag everyone who will let. I sometimes turn one or two down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kissing is a must
Means
My halitosis and cold sores deter everybody else "
And oi again  I demand kissing and I have a very healthy relationship with my toothbrush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Besides, to some professional just means "I have a job and am not on benefits".
They think professional just means they do work they are paid for!"
Professional does actually mean you get paid for doing a job of work. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Besides, to some professional just means "I have a job and am not on benefits".
They think professional just means they do work they are paid for!
Professional does actually mean you get paid for doing a job of work. "
Not in the sense of being a professional person it doesn't. |
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"Athletic-anything from scrawny to plump with a barrel belly. "
Usually not moving from a sofa unless to grab more to chow on. Usually skipped PE classes at school and will be featured on a channel 5 show 'My sexless hell at 96 stone' once managed to fit into a football shirt, until the stitching gave out. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.
Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Attractive : my mum says so
Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal
Oi,I don't have a type and I don't shag everyone who will let. I sometimes turn one or two down "
Obviously there are a few exceptions that prove the rule |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have a type/I'm not concerned about race/size/height/anything : I'm absolutely desperate and will shag anyone who will let me.
Nice : Nice when I'm getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Gentleman : Pleasant when getting my own way, otherwise a dick.
Attractive : my mum says so
Very attractive/good looking/hot : Bow down and worship me, mere mortal
Oi,I don't have a type and I don't shag everyone who will let. I sometimes turn one or two down
Obviously there are a few exceptions that prove the rule "
I am extremely exceptional |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kissing is a must
Means
My halitosis and cold sores deter everybody else
And oi again I demand kissing and I have a very healthy relationship with my toothbrush.
Sorry nana xx"
That's ok,give us a kiss  |
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"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know
I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.
It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway
I had a skinny red leather tie in my youth. xxx"
Oooh suits you missus  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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DESTROYING THE MALE FAB SYNDROME
***"I have Kik/Whstsapp"
E.g: My girlfriend caught me on FAB several times and trying to keep this one quiet.
***"I'm free now"
E.g: The missus has took the kids to her Mom's for a few hours but don't take too long deciding as she said she was texting me as soon as she hits McDonald's to see what I want bringing back"
***Single Male - "I will reply to every message"
E.g: I'll try and meet everyone but will get bored after I've finished this wank.
*** "My huge cock/BBC"
E.g: Used as a selling point by most who like to brag but haven't got a clue what to do with it / my gf-wife doesn't know what to do with it.
***thIs one has to be the highlight...
"All these men looking at me. I'm not gay, bi. I like pussy AND YOU AIN'T GONNA CHANGE THAT..."
E.g: I'll chase after a TV/TS WHEN I GET THE HORN and look at men's profiles and send winks to see if I can get a BJ at 2am because they're d*unk and must be game to sucking me off too. But I'm still straight if I don't advertise it BUT I'm still straight because I'll fuck a cock in a frock
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Traditional/old-fashioned (almost exclusively male profiles) :
set in my ways, inflexible in my thinking and attitudes, with the mindset of a misogynistic old fossil. Uncomfortable with any sort of progressive thinking and I often become angry and defensive when faced with it. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Polite, respectful : as long as I get what I want.
Manners cost nothing : I expect you to do what suits me, regardless of whether it suits you, and I'll bitch and whine about you being rude if you don't.
Discreet and discretion mentioned more than twice : married and cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet
Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant! !"
Or oops, husband lost his job so he's home all day |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.
That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now "
He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Widely used terms or words whats everyones first thought when you see them? Start with our favorite "Genuine" A porn watching man who has good intentions but will bottle a meet
Ain't meeting at the moment=I've been caught cheating &/or pregnant! !
Or oops, husband lost his job so he's home all day "
Or having health issues or lost mojo issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gym fit - my reflection is my best friend. All my conversations revolve around how much I can bench, and my farts stink as i eat half my body weight in eggs everyday day. I don't understand why I'm still single... |
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"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.
That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now
He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues "
I think Scarlet has probably pushed him over the edge  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Can make any woman squirt :
will frantically, very roughly poke and jab at them with my fingers until they damned well do, then congratulate myself on giving them such immense pleasure and for being such a sexual superstar. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I can't show photos because of my job : I bear a strong resemblance to Jabba the Hut's less attractive sibling.
I will only send photos via Whatsapp/kik/email : I'm desperate for another method of contact I can pester you on. I hope I'll have more of your attention if I can get you away from fabs.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't want to play message ping pong or endless chat :
My cock is hard now damnit! I want a fuck right now! I don't want to talk to you because I'm not interested in anything about you except whether you'll fuck me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I work away/abroad quite a lot" = I'm married/attached and I use this as an excuse. I also have guilt issues so this gives me an excuse to fuck and disappear until I feel horny again!!! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Athletic/gym fit - body fat % 20+ but if stood under the right light it looks like I have a physique "
Just musing, I wonder if the right light would help me.
Perhaps the complete absence of it 
Ejay, you're a genius. |
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Not a hardened swinger -
We've been around every block going, pounced on new club attendees and have a little reputation, so to speak. Ran our own swinging club and absconded to the Costas with the dosh. Never a good word to say about anywhere on the scene. Have multiple single and couple's profiles using photos from the 1950s onwards. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Want to try pegging
Hopes you won't be as demanding as the blokes who've shagged him. Wants to lie down, doing nothing, whilst you make the effort."
Same as wanting to sub or looking for a woman who likes to take control. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bbw-fat chicksNever met never will lol
Aimed at the gent if that's his thoughts he wont get many meets
Ahhhh I see."
Yeah on a jokey thread mine is the only one taken seriously. Awesome  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.
That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now
He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues "
Lol to close to the mark was I ?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Likes to lick pussy for hours= I have no idea what I am doing but if I do it for long enough you will beg to stop because you just can't take any more. Or fall asleep. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can go for hours:
I have one speed/technique that I can control. I don't care if it does anything for you or not...you will applaud my stamina and effort. I may have gone number by the end and it will be your fault if I don't cum. |
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Please help with my profile = I know full well no one likes endless cock pics, and that the few lines I've written are barely punctuated and incomprehensible. But I wanted to get my views up and I'm desperately hoping a forum reader who looks will take an interest and want to fuck me. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Very very choosy - prick teasing time waster. On fab with self-esteem issues.
That's not a very pleasant way of describing yourself Clem is it now
He can't help it, it's his self-esteem issues
Lol to close to the mark was I ?! "
Well you should know yourself better than anyone else |
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To prove you read this type "TWAT" in the message heading
Notice we put that in BLOCK CAPITALS and in the last sentence so its easy for you to find because we dont really give a fuck if you read it or not but this makes us come across as if we do.
We like to think you actaully invested time into researching us and read the bollocks ive written on my 3 page profile, but really we know you couldnt give a shit about us either, instead you just looked for the word that we made you aware of in the first sentence.
In all honesty we hope you found the word straight away and just sent the 3 word message youve cut and pasted for us without wasting anyones time.
This way we can check your profile out and decide if things will move on or we delete and block you. |
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"I think I'll jump in before everyone else does :-
Professional - I wear a tie to go to work
Even the women?
Some chicks look pretty cute in a tie as well ya know
I know but I don't think that's what the women generally mean when they say professional. A business suit maybe but probably not a tie.
It's like a bow type thingy that ladies wear isn't it? I have been known to wear a cravat in my dark and distant youth anyway
I had a skinny red leather tie in my youth. xxx"
I could possibly put that to good use right now  |
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It's never about my needs, only the gorgus (or other atrocious half-witted spelling mistake) ladies I'm pleasuring
It is only about me, end of. I will use any superlative I can string you along with to get inside your orifices. There's no hint of any pleasure for you, so forget that. |
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Never know what to say in these things about myself.
Means - anything I've tried saying has repulsed others. Really there is nowt to help you even notice me. Also, darent say much in case my partner recognises it's me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good sense of humour :
Likes to be offensive as possible in taking the piss out of others BUT can't take a joke themselves.
Goes with the flow: OK going with the flow as long as the flow is going their way and they're always in charge.
Don't take myself too seriously: I have no respect for other's wishes/preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What on earth do ppl mean by Professional "
Pet hate this one, professional to me means you've studied for your career choice... So lawyer, accountant, doctor etc... It does not mean you're a store manager for dunhelm |
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Not bi but will share the same room as your fella, if he has to be there, and any touching is accidental, if we DP you
Hopes the partner isn't the bloke he tried to pick up in the local toilets, whilst he sniffed and wanked some underwear. Would prefer to get fucked in the arse but is driven to proclaim aggressive straight proclivity |
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Distinctly out of focus, dark, distorted or cropped body photos - even though the same phone camera took crisp, clear and bright pics of his cock. Often used with grimacing stern face pic that's hard to tell from a goat
Isn't classically handsome, doesn't want recognisable photos around that wife could discover or has several profiles and hopes fab admin don't cotton on. May add a photo of a male fitter celebrity or pork star, taken professionally, to kid you that he's not an out of shape sack of shpototatoes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For all you gym snobs, having a six pack doesn't make you athletic either..... I primarily strength train and do lots of cardio. Does that make me less of a mortal? |
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'I have no problems picking up and dating wherever I go - can't understand what's wrong with you all'
Gets shunned by most of society - does lunge at women publically, interrupting their nights out. Has wanked but sexual history is a blur |
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By *im le2Man
over a year ago
AYLESTONE |
Not all men lie on there profile.
I'm 61yo , chubby , average cock , bald ,
If you don't believe me look at my full body shots .
And yes I'm photo verified.
I want to meet men for sex . I work nights so can only meet daytimes. |
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"Not all men lie on there profile.
I'm 61yo , chubby , average cock , bald ,
If you don't believe me look at my full body shots .
And yes I'm photo verified.
I want to meet men for sex . I work nights so can only meet daytimes. "
I think you misunderstood the thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thinking of deleting this" - someone offer me sex immediately before I chuck my toys out the pram. I have no info on my profile but 4 cock pics, what more do you sluts want? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Thinking of deleting this" - someone offer me sex immediately before I chuck my toys out the pram. I have no info on my profile but 4 cock pics, what more do you sluts want?"
"Thinking of deleting this"
Sick and tired of 'average' males who do not measure up to my impossible standards messaging me, despite my 3 pages of demands hoping I will show them more than half my nipple as I know I don't really want to meet, i just want male supermodel pornstars fawning over me and feeding me jaffa cakes to feed my shit personality traits and neuroses. |
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By *ali 69Man
over a year ago
jersey |
“ Curvy “= a humungus gut so big that the last time she saw her vagina was in an angled Clarke’s shoe mirror . “ real men “ any man who will not accept the monster gut .... whilst he is expected to be a chipoendale . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“ Curvy “= a humungus gut so big that the last time she saw her vagina was in an angled Clarke’s shoe mirror . “ real men “ any man who will not accept the monster gut .... whilst he is expected to be a chipoendale . "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well versed in swinging eticket
Wanked watching a channel 5 swinging documentary and still expects sex to be about women to focus on his pleasure. Will send garbled messages"
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