FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Don't need the embarassment
Don't need the embarassment
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was getting along great guns with a guy. Really good fun lots of phone calls and camaradie. Meet in the offing then he told me he suffered from enuresis. I didn't know what he meant and eventually he said he still wets the bed at 38 years old.
What would you have said to that? I just couldnt cope. I'm usually good with this sort of thing but I was stumped. He'd obviously sought advice he didn't need my ten penneth. I didn't want to give my ten penneth.
It's cooled and many of you may think shes a bit unsympathetic, but being sympathetic and the possibility of waking up drenched in someone elses urine are two different things.
I could have kept him up all night and survived in inter coital catnaps but the whole idea dampened my ardour. Pardon the pun. I just didnt need the embarassment of him being embarrassed for the sake an nsa sex session.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hope he's not a member here as he'll be embarrassed! "
Like I would do that? But to answer your qualms and everyone elses he's not a fab member at all that would be crass of me to write about it had he been. I hope the aim of the post is to discover boundaries everyone has when met with something outside of their comfort zone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was getting along great guns with a guy. Really good fun lots of phone calls and camaradie. Meet in the offing then he told me he suffered from enuresis. I didn't know what he meant and eventually he said he still wets the bed at 38 years old.
What would you have said to that? I just couldnt cope. I'm usually good with this sort of thing but I was stumped. He'd obviously sought advice he didn't need my ten penneth. I didn't want to give my ten penneth.
It's cooled and many of you may think shes a bit unsympathetic, but being sympathetic and the possibility of waking up drenched in someone elses urine are two different things.
I could have kept him up all night and survived in inter coital catnaps but the whole idea dampened my ardour. Pardon the pun. I just didnt need the embarassment of him being embarrassed for the sake an nsa sex session. "
its a hard one isnt it really
i mean you could still meet and play just fuck him and say bye bye and your bed wont be wet 
or
dont play
i dont think ur being harsh or unsympathetic just being honest which get my vote x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe hook him up with someone who is into watersports??
Shouldn't take the pee really it is a genuine medical condition."
lol i like what u did there haha i feel for the guy. although, he was really good to be that open with u. i think he deserves a lot more credit than what some might give him. obviously it's easier for me to say that as i'm not in that situation....unless i knew there was a cure, it would be hard for most to accept that. but then again, if it's nsa....can't he just leave after sex?! suit u both  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe hook him up with someone who is into watersports??
Shouldn't take the pee really it is a genuine medical condition.
lol i like what u did there haha i feel for the guy. although, he was really good to be that open with u. i think he deserves a lot more credit than what some might give him. obviously it's easier for me to say that as i'm not in that situation....unless i knew there was a cure, it would be hard for most to accept that. but then again, if it's nsa....can't he just leave after sex?! suit u both
Not a local meet so more of a weekend treat was in store, as I was visiting him otherwise no rpoblem and i don't think he would have raised it with someone not staying over."
least he was honest with you, which is more than some* are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe hook him up with someone who is into watersports??
Shouldn't take the pee really it is a genuine medical condition.
lol i like what u did there haha i feel for the guy. although, he was really good to be that open with u. i think he deserves a lot more credit than what some might give him. obviously it's easier for me to say that as i'm not in that situation....unless i knew there was a cure, it would be hard for most to accept that. but then again, if it's nsa....can't he just leave after sex?! suit u both "
I'l try writing my reply again without making him sound impotent re raising it with me! It was going to be for a weekend as he's not a local friend so an overnighter - well two nights together was unavoidable. Which I would have obviously wanted to reciprocate at my place in return if it was pleasant and the thought of him wetting my bed was just too much and part of my decision to just leave it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the end of the day its your decision chick.
no-one can say this and that as they haven't been there, i haven't had that situation to give a reply
we all have things that make us want to meet people and sometimes something happens to make u go "umm im not sure no more"
we all have that happen just make the decision you want to do and stuff thinking of anyone else as after all you could play with him and it might be fantastic and he might not wet the bed whereas he could be great in bed and wet the bed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But maybe it could turn a negative into a positive.
Someone will like that kind of thing.  "
I like that kind of thing, but in controlled situations. I wouldn't meet someone with his problem as waking up in someone elses pee doesn't sound like fun.
For me this is fantasy - this wouldn't be fun for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe hook him up with someone who is into watersports??
Shouldn't take the pee really it is a genuine medical condition.
lol i like what u did there haha i feel for the guy. although, he was really good to be that open with u. i think he deserves a lot more credit than what some might give him. obviously it's easier for me to say that as i'm not in that situation....unless i knew there was a cure, it would be hard for most to accept that. but then again, if it's nsa....can't he just leave after sex?! suit u both
I'l try writing my reply again without making him sound impotent re raising it with me! It was going to be for a weekend as he's not a local friend so an overnighter - well two nights together was unavoidable. Which I would have obviously wanted to reciprocate at my place in return if it was pleasant and the thought of him wetting my bed was just too much and part of my decision to just leave it."
This is about fun and fantasy. We all have people we play with that make us comfortable. This situaion obviously wouldn't make you comfortable, so you did the right thing. There's no need to beat yourself up about it!
I was contacted by a man that was impotent. Now I like sex so it would be pretty pointless meeting, even though he was a very nice man.
We are here for our enjoyment - not to make others feel good. If that sounds selfish, well, so be it.
You did nothing wrong in my view. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe hook him up with someone who is into watersports??
Shouldn't take the pee really it is a genuine medical condition.
lol i like what u did there haha i feel for the guy. although, he was really good to be that open with u. i think he deserves a lot more credit than what some might give him. obviously it's easier for me to say that as i'm not in that situation....unless i knew there was a cure, it would be hard for most to accept that. but then again, if it's nsa....can't he just leave after sex?! suit u both
I'l try writing my reply again without making him sound impotent re raising it with me! It was going to be for a weekend as he's not a local friend so an overnighter - well two nights together was unavoidable. Which I would have obviously wanted to reciprocate at my place in return if it was pleasant and the thought of him wetting my bed was just too much and part of my decision to just leave it.
This is about fun and fantasy. We all have people we play with that make us comfortable. This situaion obviously wouldn't make you comfortable, so you did the right thing. There's no need to beat yourself up about it!
I was contacted by a man that was impotent. Now I like sex so it would be pretty pointless meeting, even though he was a very nice man.
We are here for our enjoyment - not to make others feel good. If that sounds selfish, well, so be it.
You did nothing wrong in my view."
As I sad at the top of the thread I'm not beating myself up about it I was starting off a debate amongst the like minded who have nsa sex with strangers to see what their play boundaries are.
If I had a real problem in life that would not be aired publicly with anyone. Thats what freinds and family offline are for. I post on the forums to hear anecdotes and experiences re my swinging lifestyle. If swinging affected my life negatively I would hang my boots up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im afraid I wouldnt have gone along with the meet either. If it was a partner who had this problem then I would accept this, but whilst I make friends whilst swinging, people who we meet are still there to provide fun for myself and my partner and vice versa. I dont want to feel I have to be sympathetic over others' medical conditions. It does make me sound like a bitch, and I am a very caring and sympathetic person, but if the thought of it made me uncomfortable, I wouldnt go through with it. I never want any other thoughts in the back of my mind when I have a meet, other than, are they going to be nice people, will we get on and chat for england, will we all be compatible when playing.  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
It wouldn't be a problem for us as he wouldn't be sleeping in our bed at the end of the meet.
Sometimes we let someone stay over in the spare room, but we wouldn't with a person with this problem.
Maybe he is better going for local meets. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I might just add......now I know this man told you his medical problems as it would affect the meet as he would be sleeping in the same bed......but if someone started telling me their medical problems I might be put off meeting them anyway, we are not into too much personal stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I might just add......now I know this man told you his medical problems as it would affect the meet as he would be sleeping in the same bed......but if someone started telling me their medical problems I might be put off meeting them anyway, we are not into too much personal stuff. "
You've got my point exactly. The boundary for me is with fit and healthy people - its supposed to be a fun exercise not something to make you think twice about. I have had this knee problem for a while and to be honest I don't want to wince in pain when I have a flare up so never meet anyone at those times as they don't need to think I better be careful with her. Wheres the fun in that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had the same, with a casual sex-partner (not a Fabster) .... he said that he had difficulty in climaxing, because he suffered from a condition called Holmes-Adie.
I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings but ....! You know, if I loved him, that would be an entirely different question - but he was a casual sex partner!
I'm not suggesting that Holmes-Adie sufferers should not be entitled to join Fab, but... why would I choose a partner who has difficulty in reaching a climax? Not being funny but ... I climax easily, and I expect the same from casual sex partners!
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that this condition is extremely annoying for the sufferers, and I have every sympathy. But I ain't giving oral sex for 2 hours after my own climax, when I'd rather be sleeping. Sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although people above have praised the guy for being honest, i feel he could have just adjusted the way he swings, and not stay over with meets!! That way he can keep his personal problems private!!
And ps there is no way i would have met him either!
x |
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