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Insecurities ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking to women and the acne on my face believe me when i was a kid went through a load of abuse mentally about the way i was and looked knocked my self esteem and self worth right down gradually building that back up over these past few years though surprisingly this site is also helping me do that also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have very low self confidence
I was put into care as a child and spend years being ping ponged round the system from foster family to care home, through no fault of my own i may add, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive so me and my sister was taken away
Don't do much for you self asteam knowing people are only looking after you because they are paid to
Then i fell into an abusive marriage where my ex constantly put me down, always telling me how fat and ugly i am
You do reach a point where you think is it me? maybe they are right
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Speaking to women and the acne on my face believe me when i was a kid went through a load of abuse mentally about the way i was and looked knocked my self esteem and self worth right down gradually building that back up over these past few years though surprisingly this site is also helping me do that also "
I hope you get back to your proper self mate it's good to know your on the right road. Some people are shallow I grew up in the countryside and there was a lot of racist remarks thrown at me for many years and it had a big impact on me for a long long time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have very low self confidence
I was put into care as a child and spend years being ping ponged round the system from foster family to care home, through no fault of my own i may add, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive so me and my sister was taken away
Don't do much for you self asteam knowing people are only looking after you because they are paid to
Then i fell into an abusive marriage where my ex constantly put me down, always telling me how fat and ugly i am
You do reach a point where you think is it me?
"
My heart goes out to you beautiful seriously you rock woman  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ..."
Trying to persuade myself that men and women would find me attractive and fuckable even though I'm not slim. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking to women and the acne on my face believe me when i was a kid went through a load of abuse mentally about the way i was and looked knocked my self esteem and self worth right down gradually building that back up over these past few years though surprisingly this site is also helping me do that also
I hope you get back to your proper self mate it's good to know your on the right road. Some people are shallow I grew up in the countryside and there was a lot of racist remarks thrown at me for many years and it had a big impact on me for a long long time "
Yeah gradually getting there now and yeah i bet it would have a big impact on you does it still have a impact on you now after so long |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have very low self confidence
I was put into care as a child and spend years being ping ponged round the system from foster family to care home, through no fault of my own i may add, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive so me and my sister was taken away
Don't do much for you self asteam knowing people are only looking after you because they are paid to
Then i fell into an abusive marriage where my ex constantly put me down, always telling me how fat and ugly i am
You do reach a point where you think is it me? maybe they are right
"
I really feel for what you have wrote, that's been truly testing times and through no control of your own. Il tell it to you straight no one in this world is better then anyone else and no man nor women deserves anything less then to be loved and cared for. Life's full if experiences and there is always even if it's little some positive in every negative thing that happens in life xx |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag". |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ...
Trying to persuade myself that men and women would find me attractive and fuckable even though I'm not slim."
Size shouldn't deter anyone from anyone that is a fact big is beautiful !! I would date a bigger women over a pretty slim one cause more often then not you will find they wear there hearts on there sleeve xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm 43.
I'm getting to the point of 'not giving a flying FUCK'."
Best attitude to have in the world at the end of the day the only person you have to contend with is you and that's all xx |
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"I have very low self confidence
I was put into care as a child and spend years being ping ponged round the system from foster family to care home, through no fault of my own i may add, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive so me and my sister was taken away
Don't do much for you self asteam knowing people are only looking after you because they are paid to
Then i fell into an abusive marriage where my ex constantly put me down, always telling me how fat and ugly i am
You do reach a point where you think is it me? maybe they are right
"
One thing I find about this site is many people here open their hearts out to others as you have just done Naughty nymphos and yes we all have different up bringings but I find most of the regulars here and others are friendly.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag"."
Loooooooooooool men will say anything to get into a women's knickers you have probably heard it all anyway xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ...
Trying to persuade myself that men and women would find me attractive and fuckable even though I'm not slim."
You are still attractive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm outwardly quite confident but inside I'm a wreak. Unfortunately due to others which in turn makes me feel pitiful because people only make you feel rubbish if you let them.
I'm fat and I'm plain and I generally dont have time to make myself look nice, and I have to admit after my last emotional battering (it was a fairly spectacular one) I have lost all enthusiasm and zest for life.
I'm reasonably young and healthy and I have the best life you could wish for and I feel horribly guilty for wasting it. I feel like I don't deserve it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Late husband knocked my confidence( for over 18 yrs mostly when d*unk ) and I've never recovered from it.I'm always getting told off because I have low self worth  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm outwardly quite confident but inside I'm a wreak. Unfortunately due to others which in turn makes me feel pitiful because people only make you feel rubbish if you let them.
I'm fat and I'm plain and I generally dont have time to make myself look nice, and I have to admit after my last emotional battering (it was a fairly spectacular one) I have lost all enthusiasm and zest for life.
I'm reasonably young and healthy and I have the best life you could wish for and I feel horribly guilty for wasting it. I feel like I don't deserve it"
Aww no that's not a very nice way to be left feeling at any time, I've suffered with depression and anxiety and all sorts of madness over the years fighting inner issues and whatever it is your feeling now it will pass everyone deserves to live and even if it's small positive steps each day it's still a positive step stay blessed xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think throughout my life ive been called every name under the sun ,mostly because of my size,fat cow,fat bitch,ive heard them all,then i was with a jamaican for 23 years and i was then black mans meet and a nigger lover,on here ive been called more names than you could imagine,ive kind of got use to it now and as the saying goes,sticks and stones but it does hurt and gives you one hell of an inferiority complex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Late husband knocked my confidence( for over 18 yrs mostly when d*unk ) and I've never recovered from it.I'm always getting told off because I have low self worth "
I have seen this a lot even my own mother had this issue from a relationship she was in for many years, you can and will come back from it all just take each day as it comes I promise you will be fine xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm outwardly quite confident but inside I'm a wreak. Unfortunately due to others which in turn makes me feel pitiful because people only make you feel rubbish if you let them.
I'm fat and I'm plain and I generally dont have time to make myself look nice, and I have to admit after my last emotional battering (it was a fairly spectacular one) I have lost all enthusiasm and zest for life.
I'm reasonably young and healthy and I have the best ;life you could wish for and I feel horribly guilty for wasting it. I feel like I don't deserve it"
.. Yes you do deserve your life,youre a beautiful young woman and every body is somebody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex could be vile with the insults.
Little bitch. Weasel. Pussy. Wimp etc etc
All because one time I walked away from a fight and didn't engage in it.
|
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"My ex could be vile with the insults.
Little bitch. Weasel. Pussy. Wimp etc etc
All because one time I walked away from a fight and didn't engage in it.
"
Well done  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think throughout my life ive been called every name under the sun ,mostly because of my size,fat cow,fat bitch,ive heard them all,then i was with a jamaican for 23 years and i was then black mans meet and a nigger lover,on here ive been called more names than you could imagine,ive kind of got use to it now and as the saying goes,sticks and stones but it does hurt and gives you one hell of an inferiority complex."
I've notice there is some quiet unpleasant people on here  it's sad that someone has to name call and try and bring a persons confidence down people should be free to be whatever they want to be and whoever they want to be without being made to feel bad about it I'm sorry you have had that experience truly xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My ex could be vile with the insults.
Little bitch. Weasel. Pussy. Wimp etc etc
All because one time I walked away from a fight and didn't engage in it.
"
It takes a lot especially when it is heated so you did well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here. "
Some people constantly battle with these looks based hang ups and it's really hard to help them see past it. I just seen your from the north east I was born and raise for abit of my life in Middlesbrough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here. "
Believe me it's hard to overcome especially when you receive abuse around them things for years but to truly speak about them on here takes a lot of courage so i take my hat off to each and every single person that has said about there insecurities on here it's not easy admitting that stuff
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
I've never had a positive body image about myself and my ex husband made it worse. According to him I am a short fat useless ugly bitch.
He mentally and physically abused me and made out everything possible was my fault.
I know I'm not the best looking person and I'm dealing with my weight. The difference between me and him is I have the capacity to change my state of mind and he never will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here.
Some people constantly battle with these looks based hang ups and it's really hard to help them see past it. I just seen your from the north east I was born and raise for abit of my life in Middlesbrough "
You have my sympathy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The most hardest obstacle to overcome is the mental side because it is drilled into your head your body looks anything may change but the mental side of abuse will always attack you and make you feel the same way we can always fix the outside stuff in my reality it's all about the inside stuff that needs to be worked on |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag".
Loooooooooooool men will say anything to get into a women's knickers you have probably heard it all anyway xx"
See, that's the issue right there. Sometimes it is sincere but because I don't see the same things they see my default 'yeah, right' position can be counter-productive. So I now consider such comments with rationality and a wait and see approach rather than discounting the person who makes them immediately. |
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My mother taught me to cook, sew, clean etc to her exacting taste as I was the fat one out of my sisters and she assumed I'd never leave home so would be there to care for her.
I didn't feel unhappy or resentful about that I just accepted it that I'd never marry, have kids or a career.
When I met my future husband I wasn't that fussed. Thought he was just being polite as I didn't think anyone would fancy me much less this handsome man.
I don't know who was more shocked me or my mother. When he asked my dad for my hand in marriage my mum took to her bed.
Knowing I was "worthy" was a game changer and I've not looked back. Had a slight blip when I met my current partner as he has a Jason Statham/Bruce Willis look going on and I did wonder if he'd think me too fat.
I'm happy and proud of me. Yeah, always room for improvement but I don't beat myself up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here.
Some people constantly battle with these looks based hang ups and it's really hard to help them see past it. I just seen your from the north east I was born and raise for abit of my life in Middlesbrough
You have my sympathy "
Looooool |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag".
Loooooooooooool men will say anything to get into a women's knickers you have probably heard it all anyway xx
See, that's the issue right there. Sometimes it is sincere but because I don't see the same things they see my default 'yeah, right' position can be counter-productive. So I now consider such comments with rationality and a wait and see approach rather than discounting the person who makes them immediately."
Best way cause not everyone means harm xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine is going on top - really worried about doing it being a bigger girl...
Was having a great time (ffm) recently and she went on top of my regular fb and I was really upset by it.
"
Next time just let yourself go and get on top looool I have a funny story for this occasion on a night out I had a taken a lady friend back home but I was young still so living at my mums home this lady friend was a bigger lady but had no shame at all I only had a single bed at the time lol and she got ontop riding away not a care in the world knowing my mum was in the next room it was a funny situation but she really knew what she was doing xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My mother taught me to cook, sew, clean etc to her exacting taste as I was the fat one out of my sisters and she assumed I'd never leave home so would be there to care for her.
I didn't feel unhappy or resentful about that I just accepted it that I'd never marry, have kids or a career.
When I met my future husband I wasn't that fussed. Thought he was just being polite as I didn't think anyone would fancy me much less this handsome man.
I don't know who was more shocked me or my mother. When he asked my dad for my hand in marriage my mum took to her bed.
Knowing I was "worthy" was a game changer and I've not looked back. Had a slight blip when I met my current partner as he has a Jason Statham/Bruce Willis look going on and I did wonder if he'd think me too fat.
I'm happy and proud of me. Yeah, always room for improvement but I don't beat myself up. "
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag".
Loooooooooooool men will say anything to get into a women's knickers you have probably heard it all anyway xx
See, that's the issue right there. Sometimes it is sincere but because I don't see the same things they see my default 'yeah, right' position can be counter-productive. So I now consider such comments with rationality and a wait and see approach rather than discounting the person who makes them immediately."
I was exactly like this. I've always been the short dumpy not so attractive friend....you know the one that gets left at the end of the night while her friends have all the guys after them?....it's only fairly recently I've realised that being pretty and having a fantastic figure actually doesn't mean Shit if you don't have the self confidence and self belief to go with it. I've accepted I'm who i am and feel so much more confident because of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think throughout my life ive been called every name under the sun ,mostly because of my size,fat cow,fat bitch,ive heard them all,then i was with a jamaican for 23 years and i was then black mans meet and a nigger lover,on here ive been called more names than you could imagine,ive kind of got use to it now and as the saying goes,sticks and stones but it does hurt and gives you one hell of an inferiority complex.
I've notice there is some quiet unpleasant people on here it's sad that someone has to name call and try and bring a persons confidence down people should be free to be whatever they want to be and whoever they want to be without being made to feel bad about it I'm sorry you have had that experience truly xxx"
Thankyou,but dont be sorry at least on here i have the block button,and there are more good than bad on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone, at least once in a while, has a moment or more of feeling inadequate....I love my curly hair most of the time but there have been occasions when i think my curls and freckles make me look like a female Carrottop (the comedian). |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I have more insecurities than I can count. Sometimes I attribute it to my chldhood, my family, ex husband etc but really a lot of it just comes down to my poor choices.
Now I am very insecure over never being good enough to be the chosen one.. im excellent at being the other woman but never good enough to be the only one.
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My main one is I have a heart monitor implant (size of small matchbox) which was fitted a year ago. It took me ages to wear a top that didn't cover it as I was so self conscious of it. Daft really as nobody has ever noticed it until it's mentioned |
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"My main one is I have a heart monitor implant (size of small matchbox) which was fitted a year ago. It took me ages to wear a top that didn't cover it as I was so self conscious of it. Daft really as nobody has ever noticed it until it's mentioned "
Are you a bionic woman? I fancy you even more now.
MrsSB  |
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"My main one is I have a heart monitor implant (size of small matchbox) which was fitted a year ago. It took me ages to wear a top that didn't cover it as I was so self conscious of it. Daft really as nobody has ever noticed it until it's mentioned
Are you a bionic woman? I fancy you even more now.
MrsSB "
And you know I  you right back x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha where do I start suffered really bad depression and anxiety so went from being confident and out going to struggle to speak to a girl on a 1 to 1 bases. My looks I hate im a nice guy polite fun but dont get a chance to ahow that thought it would be easier on here but look where thats got me! Thinking bout just giving up on women altogether now |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"My ex could be vile with the insults.
Little bitch. Weasel. Pussy. Wimp etc etc
All because one time I walked away from a fight and didn't engage in it.
"
Well done, take it from me they don't appreciate it much when you do stick up for yourself or them and end up doing three months inside & losing your job either. 
Many moons ago in a life far far away
Thank Fuck..
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be shy as a child where speaking or singing in front of an audience was concerned. I've never had body insecurities and I've been everything from very underweight to very overweight. I've been called names since I got fat;it has zero effect on me. On Friday I went to see a long term partner of mine,he's a lot younger and very good looking. He caresses and squeezes my flabby,stretch marked stomach and kisses my stretch marked boobs. I've never been shy of undressing in front of him or anyone else. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I don't take compliments well on here as I think it is all bullshit, just to get into my knickers, so they need to stimulate my mind as well, though my head was turned recently by a hottie who was a bit of a disappointment that I ended up sending him home, maybe I should just stick to my own age group  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You always think youre the only one,but none of us are alone and this thread brings it home ..
Keep your face always towards the sunshine..and shadows will fall behind you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My main one is I have a heart monitor implant (size of small matchbox) which was fitted a year ago. It took me ages to wear a top that didn't cover it as I was so self conscious of it. Daft really as nobody has ever noticed it until it's mentioned
Are you a bionic woman? I fancy you even more now.
MrsSB
And you know I you right back x"
Your a beautiful woman anyway none of that matters lovely |
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My Ex destroyed My confidence....blamed me for his drinking, everything was my fault, and I say sorry constantly, even meets have noticed I always say sorry for things randomly.
He was slight so would slyly poke at my weight, he hardly ate as he drank so everything I ate was scrutinised which made me paranoid to eat in front of men.
It has knocked my confidence being dumped a year ago my my new partner set me.back to square one , he did get a lot of the old me back, but then destroyed it all again when he binned me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm really shy around 'normal' people I don't know very well and I've always been very self-conscious about it. I worry that people think I'm bland, or too stupid to participate (thanks RE teacher!) and the anxiety makes it even harder to strike up a conversation. With friends and family I'm the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag"."
Well I don't want to shag you but I can and will honestly say you do have a good figure that I can see is fuckable to a lot of people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Ex destroyed My confidence....blamed me for his drinking, everything was my fault, and I say sorry constantly, even meets have noticed I always say sorry for things randomly.
He was slight so would slyly poke at my weight, he hardly ate as he drank so everything I ate was scrutinised which made me paranoid to eat in front of men.
It has knocked my confidence being dumped a year ago my my new partner set me.back to square one , he did get a lot of the old me back, but then destroyed it all again when he binned me "
Aww beautiful my sympathy goes out to you lovely |
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Would probably need a complete thread for mine.
Was in a very abusive marriage previously. Completely controlled, stripped of all self esteem and confidence and not allowed to do anything, even having friends was a no no. It was ok for him to disappear for days on end shagging around though. If I ever questioned I got a beating. You get the idea.
Fast forward a bit and I re marry with my hubby now. Hes never controlled me at all and never had an issue with me going out etc. Then we got into swinging and I get total freedom to go where I want and do anything with anyone. Yes it's fun and I enjoy doing it but the past doesn't go away so easily. Hard to have all this freedom and not know what to do with it. Hubby says I've got one life and should enjoy it and that I should make up for all the years I was controlled.
Even little things like people giving me compliments is hard to accept, my confidence levels are that low. It would be great to be able to actually grow some confidence and be able to have more fun, to be more active on here and get even more enjoyment out of it. Just can't fully open up and let go with people sometime. |
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"I have very low self confidence
I was put into care as a child and spend years being ping ponged round the system from foster family to care home, through no fault of my own i may add, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive so me and my sister was taken away
Don't do much for you self asteam knowing people are only looking after you because they are paid to
Then i fell into an abusive marriage where my ex constantly put me down, always telling me how fat and ugly i am
You do reach a point where you think is it me? maybe they are right
"
It won't be you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it very interesting that insecure people are always the loudest most extrovert people in the room!
The reason I know that is because I am one of them!
Fab is one of those places - a place where we all get naked and fuck each other/ take pictures etc.. and express things that we would never do/ say in "the real world"
Some would say that as a woman you should never be on a site like this and be "used" by men!
As they have the impression that the men on here will fuck anyone!
And depending on how I feel about myself on that day I think that too!
But after I've had a good day and I feel sexy and good about myself I see fab as a sexual outlet that I don't get to have in the "real world" somewhere I can come to fuck / meet men that I wouldn't in my ordinary life!
I love it!
I think confidence comes from a place of happiness in yourself and in your life.
If you aren't happy then seeking validation on a sex site isn't going to make it so!
But I've rambled on enough now
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it very interesting that insecure people are always the loudest most extrovert people in the room!
The reason I know that is because I am one of them!
Fab is one of those places - a place where we all get naked and fuck each other/ take pictures etc.. and express things that we would never do/ say in "the real world"
Some would say that as a woman you should never be on a site like this and be "used" by men!
As they have the impression that the men on here will fuck anyone!
And depending on how I feel about myself on that day I think that too!
But after I've had a good day and I feel sexy and good about myself I see fab as a sexual outlet that I don't get to have in the "real world" somewhere I can come to fuck / meet men that I wouldn't in my ordinary life!
I love it!
I think confidence comes from a place of happiness in yourself and in your life.
If you aren't happy then seeking validation on a sex site isn't going to make it so!
But I've rambled on enough now
x"
Gotta love fab ain't you by the way your such a hottie   |
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I moved around a lot as a kid and was always 'new'. I dealt with it by not talking to anyone.
Eventually we settled in England and a girl was put in charge of looking after me as the new kid. I'd never had that before. We're still friends and that means a lot to me.
As a teenager and young adult I was considered fat. I wore size 10-12 knickers and 10-14 tops, but needed a 16-18 round my (lack of) waist. Years later I was diagnosed with coeliac disease and the 'fat' had probably been bloat.
I got hit on all the time and had lots of male friends but I always thought they just liked my boobs. But the damage was done. I dieted myself fat.
I go into an relationship that seemed better than nothing. He seemed to care and that was nice for a change. It turned out I was in an abusive relationship for 22 years. I wanted to leave but I was convinced it was all my fault and that no one else would ever want me anyway.
I left him just over 5 years ago and I am happier than ever. Still single but Fab makes that fun. A friend at the time put me on here and I was horrified. But she knew what she was doing.
My confidence is now such that if someone doesn't like what I say or look like it doesn't matter. The people who matter to me really like me and some of those people go right back to school.
It's not been plain sailing to get to this point. And I still get low moments. But they are moments now not years.
I feel so glad that I've been there and know how it feels, but now I've been here and know how this feels. I shall never settle for anything less than I want again
Anyone with low confidence needs to take time to work on themselves and get to a happy place |
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I have social anxiety/insecurities. I'm ok one on one with people but struggle with groups of people.
I always feel like I'm pissing people off or saying the wrong thing and agonise over what I've said or done too much.
I'm less bothers about my looks. I wish I had the charm and relaxed easy going self confidence some people seem to be born with. I would love to be one of those people who could make friends with anyone in any situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
mine is trusting people. i trust too easily and people take advantage of that.
i've also been abused, but luckily (yes lucky really) it was by a narcissist, so i have some narc traits and one of these high confidence. i also have empathy so the narc hasn't rubbed off onto me too much in a destructive way.
sociopaths are my weakness, i fall for their shit quite easily but am well aware of how to deal with that now as some of the narc/sociopath manipulation has also rubbed off onto me and i can blag them back now and fuck with them, which gives me a nice sense of retaining my power, then i fuck them off for good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both G and I are very, very insecure. We've had a few past relationships that have been damn right evil to us and caused us to shed many a tear... It's part of the reason we are here. Because we found each other and enough really was enough. You just have to find that person who won't let you go and is there for you no matter what. Once you do, you can achieve anything. But we are both still very insecure at times C x |
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"I have very low self confidence
I was put into care as a child and spend years being ping ponged round the system from foster family to care home, through no fault of my own i may add, my dad was an alcoholic and very abusive so me and my sister was taken away
Don't do much for you self asteam knowing people are only looking after you because they are paid to
Then i fell into an abusive marriage where my ex constantly put me down, always telling me how fat and ugly i am
You do reach a point where you think is it me? maybe they are right
"
So sorry to hear your past NN. A lot of what goes on for us is unconscious, so we start to form beliefs about ourselves that connected the wrong dots - it's often introjected, so we've fabricated a lie that something is wrong with us. I've seen it so much and done it myself - it's criminal, the level of damage that's occurred due to others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just general shyness with me really. It isn't as bad as what it used to be, but I still lack full on confidence.
I've only ever had two serious relationships in my life which both broke down, therefore I do lack confidence and don't consider myself to be that good looking either.
But, who knows, maybe things may change one day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hated everything about myself when i was 14/15, the way I looked, my race the sterotypes i was being put in. I decided to break the shackles of those insecurities and never looked back.
Love me or hate me i am me and thats exactly who i want to be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the time, and esoecially on here, as it is mostly an advertising website for surface, and not substance, our feelings of inadequacy stem from comparising ourseleves with others.
As View stated, you must first love yourself then other will follow.
Some people are really insidious when putting people down and I am sure they don't even realise it themselves. |
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ...
Trying to persuade myself that men and women would find me attractive and fuckable even though I'm not slim."
27 verifications and still not got the message - listen to others if you cant believe yourself! Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be insecure about my looks, my body and what other people thought about me.
Through time I have learnt i am not such a bad bloke .
It's a confidence thing , we compare ourselves with others. We only hear the negative things.
Now I listen to the positive things and people in my life.
To truly feel good about yourself and others you need to love yourself , and not in a narcissist way. Be compassionate to yourself , be kinder to you.
I am so jolly in the skin I am in , the man I am and the confidence i now have . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was very insecure about the way I looked from being the girl in school hitting puberty first getting teased for wearing a bra (sports bra in pe) children can be very cruel. So I used to hide under turtlenecks, make excuses not to do pe
Then I met someone at 16 who changed that. We're now married.
And yes he likes my boobs(but also a lot more)
But now as an adult I still do have insecurities but I think I've got a lot stronger willed and I do actually love my curves however taking compliments I still get quite embarrassed.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was bullied at school and had a very unhappy childhood. I married my childhood sweetheart who became an alcoholic, beat me up, broke bones etc as I couldn't give him kids! I divorced him and he died last year. I now have a worrying health condition. So in all, my life has just been a constant battle to stay positive but I try my best and surround myself with people who make me smile.
Sex makes me feel good, that's for sure |
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population. "
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
"
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging has made me realise that the majority of people see past our flaws and what we percieve to be a big deal other people dont even notice ive always had huge problems with insecurity over my belly, my cock size and my hairyness but none of these things seems to have bothered anyone else
Mr x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done. "
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts. |
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done. "
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it. "
Yes, and your experience is your experience - just putting mine out there too because it's equally valid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts."
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it.
Yes, and your experience is your experience - just putting mine out there too because it's equally valid."
You know what I'm gonna say fair play for even saying that we all have different experiences to me this thread is where we can expose our insecurities and yes it is valid even the most smallest one should be and don't see why people should be judging or haging on us for exposing them we should be lifting them up not putting them down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type."
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing."
Bunch of wrongons aint they |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Sometimes the people with the deepest insecurities are the cruelest with their jibes.
You see it in these forums, both towards larger and slimmer ladies.
From both genders. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes the people with the deepest insecurities are the cruelest with their jibes.
You see it in these forums, both towards larger and slimmer ladies.
From both genders. "
I have a deep insecurity but I don't act like that I'd rather spread a bit of love which is what this world needs more of |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Sometimes the people with the deepest insecurities are the cruelest with their jibes.
You see it in these forums, both towards larger and slimmer ladies.
From both genders. I have a deep insecurity but I don't act like that I'd rather spread a bit of love which is what this world needs more of "
I did say sometimes. Keep spreading your good vibe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes the people with the deepest insecurities are the cruelest with their jibes.
You see it in these forums, both towards larger and slimmer ladies.
From both genders. I have a deep insecurity but I don't act like that I'd rather spread a bit of love which is what this world needs more of
I did say sometimes. Keep spreading your good vibe "
I will do |
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It's not something I suffer from. I know my faults and my weaknesses but I'm not insecure about anything. I'm comfortable in my skin and having friends who are terribly insecure actually just gets on my nerves. 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it. "
I know I notice things more when I'm feeling that way. So I notice more bitchy comments if I'm feeling crap or I notice more positive comments if I'm feeling good. I think people react to the vibe I give off at that time and vice versa. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it.
I know I notice things more when I'm feeling that way. So I notice more bitchy comments if I'm feeling crap or I notice more positive comments if I'm feeling good. I think people react to the vibe I give off at that time and vice versa. "
It's not a question of noticing or not noticing - if someone is shouting something out of a car window they aren't picking up on a vibe, they're just a knob. I don't go deaf when I'm in a good mood, if they're shouting at me then I'll hear it.
I don't pretend that if I wasn't fat there wouldn't be something else - being really thin, having red hair, wearing glasses - that they would choose to shout about. But some people actually are just total twats, and it is not the fault of the person being subjected to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing."
If someone walking behind me said something like that to me I would turn around and tell him he has more chance fucking a dog than me. Or if my legs are tree trunks want to piss up them,dog?
I've never had a stranger comment on my size though,only my husband who was futilely trying to hurt me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing.
If someone walking behind me said something like that to me I would turn around and tell him he has more chance fucking a dog than me. Or if my legs are tree trunks want to piss up them,dog?
I've never had a stranger comment on my size though,only my husband who was futilely trying to hurt me."
It's easy to think of clever come backs when you aren't in the situation. When it happens without warning it just kinda leaves you like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing.
If someone walking behind me said something like that to me I would turn around and tell him he has more chance fucking a dog than me. Or if my legs are tree trunks want to piss up them,dog?
I've never had a stranger comment on my size though,only my husband who was futilely trying to hurt me.
It's easy to think of clever come backs when you aren't in the situation. When it happens without warning it just kinda leaves you like "
I have a quick retort. Things flash up and come out of my mouth without me realising. It's like banter to me,rolls off the tongue. Possibly comes from having older sisters to learn from as a child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing.
If someone walking behind me said something like that to me I would turn around and tell him he has more chance fucking a dog than me. Or if my legs are tree trunks want to piss up them,dog?
I've never had a stranger comment on my size though,only my husband who was futilely trying to hurt me.
It's easy to think of clever come backs when you aren't in the situation. When it happens without warning it just kinda leaves you like "
Most definitely I've had my fair share |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing.
If someone walking behind me said something like that to me I would turn around and tell him he has more chance fucking a dog than me. Or if my legs are tree trunks want to piss up them,dog?
I've never had a stranger comment on my size though,only my husband who was futilely trying to hurt me.
It's easy to think of clever come backs when you aren't in the situation. When it happens without warning it just kinda leaves you like "
My best come backs are always at least 5 minutes too late. And I'm far too lazy to go running after people to deliver them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ..."
I guess my battle is that I'm not good enough, that everyone/anyone is better than me. I always think that people ask me to places, spend time with me, want to fuck me etc because there is no one better around at the time. As soon as that better person comes along then I'm out on the back burner until the next time there is no one better. I have no idea really where it comes from, As I've got older although I'm more aware of it, I mostly try to ignore how I feel, hard though |
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"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag"."
You do have an amazing body....like you i was overweight and bullied because of it. The whole thing still leaves me with doubt even now....believe it or not but this site is slowly giving me the confidence to believe what people say.....getting spit roasted helps a lot too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
People who say hurtful shit like that to others are probably covering up their own insecurities. By hurting others they make themselves feel better. Either that or they just are complete cunts.
I tend to assume the latter, especially from the "drive by" type.
I assume so too. I've had guys commenting on my tree trunk legs while walking behind me. One guy even said he'd rather fuck a dog than me. I can't help being ugly, but I'm No victim. We can't let these things make us insecure though. They are random comments from random people who mean nothing.
If someone walking behind me said something like that to me I would turn around and tell him he has more chance fucking a dog than me. Or if my legs are tree trunks want to piss up them,dog?
I've never had a stranger comment on my size though,only my husband who was futilely trying to hurt me.
It's easy to think of clever come backs when you aren't in the situation. When it happens without warning it just kinda leaves you like
My best come backs are always at least 5 minutes too late. And I'm far too lazy to go running after people to deliver them."
True. It doesn't have the same effect 5 minutes later,you just look like a weirdo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ...
Trying to persuade myself that men and women would find me attractive and fuckable even though I'm not slim."
you are you and I've fabbers the photos x and not lightly done xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag".
You do have an amazing body....like you i was overweight and bullied because of it. The whole thing still leaves me with doubt even now....believe it or not but this site is slowly giving me the confidence to believe what people say.....getting spit roasted helps a lot too "
your fab and your you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ...
I guess my battle is that I'm not good enough, that everyone/anyone is better than me. I always think that people ask me to places, spend time with me, want to fuck me etc because there is no one better around at the time. As soon as that better person comes along then I'm out on the back burner until the next time there is no one better. I have no idea really where it comes from, As I've got older although I'm more aware of it, I mostly try to ignore how I feel, hard though "
I think your beautiful k and wow what a sexy lady you are xx beauty is mostly in the eye of the beholder but you do have to believe too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remember..There is nothing in this world worth worrying about..You can spend your life worrying about low self esteem,anxiety,stress,for the past forty years ive worried about my size ,but now at my age i just think sod it,i am what i am,as long as my family loves me for me ,then thats all i care about.Bugger the haters they mean nothing to me,show me a perfect person and i might think about losing a couple of pounds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it.
I know I notice things more when I'm feeling that way. So I notice more bitchy comments if I'm feeling crap or I notice more positive comments if I'm feeling good. I think people react to the vibe I give off at that time and vice versa.
It's not a question of noticing or not noticing - if someone is shouting something out of a car window they aren't picking up on a vibe, they're just a knob. I don't go deaf when I'm in a good mood, if they're shouting at me then I'll hear it.
I don't pretend that if I wasn't fat there wouldn't be something else - being really thin, having red hair, wearing glasses - that they would choose to shout about. But some people actually are just total twats, and it is not the fault of the person being subjected to it. "
Point proved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag"."
So much this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here. "
Ditto. My insecurities aren't looks related and are way too complicated to go into. I've had some funny reactions in the forums when I've mentioned it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here.
Ditto. My insecurities aren't looks related and are way too complicated to go into. I've had some funny reactions in the forums when I've mentioned it. "
I'm intrigued. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am really insecure about my body and how I look. I push away compliments and always think they come with an ulterior motive. I wore a bikini for the first time in a decade on holiday this year and I was terrified the first day I walked out of the hotel room in it. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am really insecure about my body and how I look. I push away compliments and always think they come with an ulterior motive. I wore a bikini for the first time in a decade on holiday this year and I was terrified the first day I walked out of the hotel room in it. x"
You have a beautiful body from what I'm seeing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the looks based hang ups and insecurities that most people have - all of which can be overcome and don't really negatively affect my life. My real insecurities are not looks-related and are not things I'd discuss on here.
Ditto. My insecurities aren't looks related and are way too complicated to go into. I've had some funny reactions in the forums when I've mentioned it.
I'm intrigued. "
It's nothing interesting believe me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am somebody..
I am somebody
I may be poor but
I am somebody
I may be old but
I am somebody
I may be fat but
I am somebody
I may be small but
I am somebody
I may make mistakes but
I am somebody
My clothes are different
My face is different
My hair is different
But i am somebody
I am
Black
Brown
White
I speak a different language
But i must be respected,protected
Never rejected
I am somebody.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was also in care, it's not the cloth your cut from that defines who you are it's the heart within, guard it close don't let people drag you down, don't them them change your perception of who you really are, there words can be like venom, drying up any self-esteem you had, know your own worth don't let people's words change that, usually people pulling other people down are the ones who need help, know that you are doing better then these individuals know the universe loves you with all its infinite love and ull be a o k |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all from time to time feel insecure about something could be body parts relationships or just feeling insecure in general.. But has that trait been brought on by a X partner or just general self awareness? What has been your worst battle with ..."
I was bullied as a chiled and menally abused by my x wife but now im slowly getting there  |
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"Seems to be a lot of us bigger females that get abuse ,i sometimes wonder what names i would be called if i was slim,as soon as you have an argument the fat thing nearly always comes into it,it makes you feel alienated from the rest of the perfect people population.
Do you know I've never been insulted as an adult. I notice some fat people have an "apologetic" for want of a better word, air about them. Same as some geeky looking, ginger haired, very tall and slim etc people do. In general, people who feel different and give off a "victim" vibe.
I definitely don't give off a victim vibe or an apologetic air. But I've had fat bitch, or some variant of that, shouted at me from car windows or said to me in bars more times than I can count. Sometimes people actually are just cunts, and it's not because of anything the "victim" has or hasn't done.
*SOME* do.
Your experience is your experience. I'm much bigger than you and I've never been subjected to it.
Yes, and your experience is your experience - just putting mine out there too because it's equally valid."
Of course it is, I wasn't suggesting otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have spent my whole life being the fat one, the clever one, the one of the lads one, the good friend one. Never the pretty one or the sexy one. Oddly, I never felt bad about that; just accepted it. Here I have almost the opposite problem; I get messages telling me I have a cracking figure and my first response is to think "well, of course they'd say that, they're just after a shag"."
Not everyones definition of fat is the same, alot of men out there class a curvy woman as being fat. For me i luv a sexy curvy woman, its not what id call fat at all.
You defo have a hot curvy body |
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Hi here new to fab- but struggling with relationship insecurities. My insecurities keep getting me in trouble tho when they become uncontrollable.
I love my partner dearly and worry my insecurities will push him away.
Basic story behind it all-
My partner still speaks and sees his ex as friends which I sometimes struggle with but try to accept to the best I can.
But on odd occasions I have suffered from nightmares about him leaving me to go back to her. With very upsetting words, to the point where on occasions I wake up scared and in tears.
To the point where I’ve not slept and ended up looking on his phone at messages between them( never found anything other than friendly messages tho) but my partner is very private about any conversations he holds with her via text and does not like any one on his phone( says his phone is like a diary and should be kept private)
In the past I have been cheated on nemerous of times by previous partners and struggle with the privacy thing, I have spoke to my now partner about this and he reassured me he loves me.
Lost and confused on how to conquer this feeling as hating that I feel like I keep f*cking things up when by insecurities get in the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember when I started playing guitar, my best mate had two cousins who were both brilliant. My mate said to me, "You'll never make a lead guitarist, you should stick to rhythm guitar." It affected my confidence in ripping out a solo for a long time. But I got over it.
And now I'm a confident, solo-busting trannie, so who's laughing now? (Clue: it's me.) |
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