FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is the internet a poor way to socialise and meet people?
Is the internet a poor way to socialise and meet people?
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"I think you are over-thinking things and need to go outside and meet some people x" See what I mean? I mentioned the social anxieties I had a decade ago, and you assume that in the meantime, I haven't made multiple attempts to integrate into the 'real' world, some successful, many not - it's the reason why I'm still here. If I had the healthy, active social life I've often longed for, I wouldn't use Fab - and I imagine this is no different for a vast number of people on here. | |||
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"I think it's one way of socialising and meeting people and that it's becoming more standard." Do you not think that's inherently unhealthy though? Sure, the internet gives you a 'chance' to work off some of your awkwardness and steadily build yourself up, but it'll only take you so far, just as a packet of crisps may take the edge off your hunger, but is a poor nutritional substitute for a proper meal. | |||
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"I think you are over-thinking things and need to go outside and meet some people x See what I mean? I mentioned the social anxieties I had a decade ago, and you assume that in the meantime, I haven't made multiple attempts to integrate into the 'real' world, some successful, many not - it's the reason why I'm still here. If I had the healthy, active social life I've often longed for, I wouldn't use Fab - and I imagine this is no different for a vast number of people on here." true, that last paragraph. i use the internet because i can't just go out whenever i want to. i think IM or chat/cam apps are good for socialising, you can have proper interaction with people. one thing that frustrates me is you can find people that are nowhere near for you to actually meet with and really get on with them and it's so frustrating. it's also a lot easier to be a predator or shady on the internet. | |||
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"I think you are over-thinking things and need to go outside and meet some people x See what I mean? I mentioned the social anxieties I had a decade ago, and ..." I dont see what you mean. I think that although not put very well, the poster was suggesting that there is a place for both internet AND real life socialisation. The real life bit should teach boundaried of how far you can go more than the internet - you cant see the non verbal clues a person gives out over the internet so while you might think something is ok to say, you cant gague this until a person blocks you or just doesnt communicate any more. Perhaps youshould take things back a notch and not get so intense to quicly. People come here for a little fun and see what happens - not a confession of how you feel about a person. Im sorry if this sounds harsh - its just how I perceve (I cant spell that word) what you are saying and how I would go about things. | |||
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"I think it can be terrible for people for struggle with social interaction in some scenarios - such as this site - which is all about meeting for a specific purpose and not so much about getting to know people for the sake for it." True, but that specific purpose still requires a decent degree of feeling you know a person well enough to trust them. Strings or not, sex is an inherently intimate and personal act. "I'd say take dance lessons...you'd be surprised how many birds go..atleast you cantthen shake ya arse on a dance floor...girls love that kinda confidence innit "I would actually consider this, but I am NOT a natural dancer, I'm a big, awkward, clumsy guy with the grace of a slug. I do however really enjoy singing, and continue to seek ways I can use it as a social tool. "sometimes people just over analyise everything... sometimes you just have to say "it is what it is" as opposed to debating why?" Because sometimes, if something seems inherently flawed, then you have to look into it, to see if it can be tweaked, changed or fixed - mankind would not have come very far if we'd all simply adopted the 'it is what it is, c'est la vie' attitude. | |||
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"I think you are over-thinking things and need to go outside and meet some people x See what I mean? I mentioned the social anxieties I had a decade ago, and you assume that in the meantime, I haven't made multiple attempts to integrate into the 'real' world, some successful, many not - it's the reason why I'm still here. If I had the healthy, active social life I've often longed for, I wouldn't use Fab - and I imagine this is no different for a vast number of people on here." I didn't assume anything. I read your post and responded. Again- over thinking. | |||
"I'm painfully shy and striking up a conversation and making new friends is very difficult for me in the real world. I come across as reserved and unsociable, which I don't mean to be and which I'm not, not really. The Internet has helped me meet people who I otherwise wouldn't, and that's not a bad thing. " I feel the same way, but have your interactions on here improved your social abilities offline too, and if so, by how much? | |||
"I think you are over-thinking things and need to go outside and meet some people x See what I mean? I mentioned the social anxieties I had a decade ago, and you assume that in the meantime, I haven't made multiple attempts to integrate into the 'real' world, some successful, many not - it's the reason why I'm still here. If I had the healthy, active social life I've often longed for, I wouldn't use Fab - and I imagine this is no different for a vast number of people on here. I didn't assume anything. I read your post and responded. Again- over thinking. " I understand your original response was meant with kindness, so please don't think my response was intended as being rude - if it came across that way, it furthers my point about the inherent difficulty of effective social interactions online. Many people accuse me of over thinking - personally, I think most people under think. | |||
"I think it can be terrible for people for struggle with social interaction in some scenarios - such as this site - which is all about meeting for a specific purpose and not so much about getting to know people for the sake for it. Other means of using the internet like Meet Up, or more hobby/activity based groups are more positive. " Totally agree. The tension and frustration on here is palpable. Also using the forums highlights the 2 extremes: people we have a lot in common with but no sexual attraction. And then the sexual attraction but nothing in common. Might not be an issue for some but is for us. We might see people on here who we think, they seem cool, but the 'sex site' thing gets in the way. There isn't the same type of drama in the gaming and autism related sites I sometimes use. Think I might stick to the purely swinging related posts in future. | |||
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"I would say that the Internet is a dangerous trap for anyone with poor social skills, it can only make things worse by creating a character you fail to measure up to in real life. OP this is probably a misinterpretation, but reading your posts on this thread you come across as viewing social interaction as the goal. It is a long way from the truth, your aim should be to carry out activities for the pleasure of the activity e.g. singing, Social interaction becomes a side effect of something that already makes you feel good. So get offline, and go and sing, take singing lessons, join a choir, attend open mic nights in local pubs etc. by enjoying yourself you will become visible and attractive socially. If the actions of others are your mark of success your confidence will take knock after knock in an uncontrollable environment, if that mark of success is nailing the top and bottom notes and belting out a song, you are in charge and you can improve it, which will allow your confidence to grow." Well said.  | |||
"I would say that the Internet is a dangerous trap for anyone with poor social skills, it can only make things worse by creating a character you fail to measure up to in real life. OP this is probably a misinterpretation, but reading your posts on this thread you come across as viewing social interaction as the goal. It is a long way from the truth, your aim should be to carry out activities for the pleasure of the activity e.g. singing, Social interaction becomes a side effect of something that already makes you feel good. So get offline, and go and sing, take singing lessons, join a choir, attend open mic nights in local pubs etc. by enjoying yourself you will become visible and attractive socially. If the actions of others are your mark of success your confidence will take knock after knock in an uncontrollable environment, if that mark of success is nailing the top and bottom notes and belting out a song, you are in charge and you can improve it, which will allow your confidence to grow. Well said. " | |||
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"Is the internet a poor way to socialise and meet people? " Just on the title not your post (TL;DR), no. | |||
"Is the internet a poor way to socialise and meet people? Just on the title not your post (TL;DR), no. " But, is it a poor way to socialise without meeting? Yes. | |||
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