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The Tsunami has been cancelled
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Due to a very sudden change in circumstances, I will no longer be playing. My freedom to meet has been completely curtailed 
Im not asking for sympathy. I don't want or welcome a lecture from cheat haters.
I just want to say what a blast it's been and that I'll be hanging round the forae/forii  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not off to exciting pastures new. My hysband has quit his job so I can no longer go out. Heaves big sigh :'-("
Mines been on long term sick for 18 months, trust me there are ways and means, especially if 2 people really want to meet up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?"
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off!"
It's true though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, won't you have any free time whatsoever, you're not joined at the hip?!"
Sadly it really does mean no free time. I dont go out alone. No friends that arent "our" friends and never see them individually.
If I am not in work..he is there with me. This is not new..we've been married 38years and fir the last 15 as his medical predicament has worsened, the noose has tightened.
Its not his fault he doesnt function. So much of his controlling behaviour is tied up with his situation, i cant blame him for it. Hes frightened ill leave but i never would. |
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"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off!"
It's true though would have been a different thread entirely and unfairly so
And you've posted on a public forum your warning is irrelevant, as people can post whatever they like within the rules |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, won't you have any free time whatsoever, you're not joined at the hip?!
Sadly it really does mean no free time. I dont go out alone. No friends that arent "our" friends and never see them individually.
If I am not in work..he is there with me. This is not new..we've been married 38years and fir the last 15 as his medical predicament has worsened, the noose has tightened.
Its not his fault he doesnt function. So much of his controlling behaviour is tied up with his situation, i cant blame him for it. Hes frightened ill leave but i never would. "
Well whatever you choose to do I wish you well  |
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"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off!
It's true though. "
Could be just the right time to sit down and chat and fingers crossed you can sort your issues out and start from now with everything.out in the open...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was thinking the same as a few on here! Why not just sit done and tell him you need the odd fuck now and then? And that you are not looking to leave him or replace him.
And maybe even offer him the oportunity to find something he really would enjoy doing as well.
After all what's good for one is good for the other |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?"
If he was sociable on the fora and known here, with friends, it might be a bit different from someone we don't 'know' posting to moan about the loss of his opportunity to cheat.
It helps that the tone of the OP isn't moany.
A lot of the shit men get is to do with the way they phrase their posts. They often come across as though they are entitled to cheat and they get defensive about it. They also usually sound like they think they are the victims and it's all their partner's fault.
But yes, men cheating and women cheating do tend to be regarded differently on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was thinking the same as a few on here! Why not just sit done and tell him you need the odd fuck now and then? And that you are not looking to leave him or replace him.
And maybe even offer him the oportunity to find something he really would enjoy doing as well.
After all what's good for one is good for the other"
Life is never that simple. Relationships are never that simple and emotions are never that simple.
The OP knows her husband. She has made her decision based on that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No chance of you both having an honest conversation?
Express your needs to him?
"
This took place a few times over the first 5 years of "famine". The conversations, the therapy, the counselling have all been had. He is selfish, that's just it.
That aside, why do I stay ? Well, funny as it may seem, I love the miserable sod. He is a whole parcel of issues that Ive grown up with. Married 38 years, together for 43
I dont need to justify myself to anyone on here but for what its worth, I do what I do, because the lack of sexual frustration means I am more tolerant of his ways, and nicer to live with. He's an old git but he's MY old git |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No chance of you both having an honest conversation?
Express your needs to him?
This took place a few times over the first 5 years of "famine". The conversations, the therapy, the counselling have all been had. He is selfish, that's just it.
That aside, why do I stay ? Well, funny as it may seem, I love the miserable sod. He is a whole parcel of issues that Ive grown up with. Married 38 years, together for 43
I dont need to justify myself to anyone on here but for what its worth, I do what I do, because the lack of sexual frustration means I am more tolerant of his ways, and nicer to live with. He's an old git but he's MY old git"
I'd have replied in private so I'll say only this here.
I've got a fair understanding of your situation.
I wish you happiness in what ever way you can seek it.
Look after yourself.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No chance of you both having an honest conversation?
Express your needs to him?
This took place a few times over the first 5 years of "famine". The conversations, the therapy, the counselling have all been had. He is selfish, that's just it.
That aside, why do I stay ? Well, funny as it may seem, I love the miserable sod. He is a whole parcel of issues that Ive grown up with. Married 38 years, together for 43
I dont need to justify myself to anyone on here but for what its worth, I do what I do, because the lack of sexual frustration means I am more tolerant of his ways, and nicer to live with. He's an old git but he's MY old git"
Your story is echoed accross so many marriages. It is a sad and painful situation for you to be in.
Interestingly, because you are a woman, the holier than though haters have generally stayed at home.
As time goes by the frustration will either build and break you or you will become a shell of your true self resigned to the situation. Whichever way, I wish you peace and the strength follow your chosen path. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No chance of you both having an honest conversation?
Express your needs to him?
This took place a few times over the first 5 years of "famine". The conversations, the therapy, the counselling have all been had. He is selfish, that's just it.
That aside, why do I stay ? Well, funny as it may seem, I love the miserable sod. He is a whole parcel of issues that Ive grown up with. Married 38 years, together for 43
I dont need to justify myself to anyone on here but for what its worth, I do what I do, because the lack of sexual frustration means I am more tolerant of his ways, and nicer to live with. He's an old git but he's MY old git"
1st rule of fab club, never justify yourself to a bunch of random strangers.
Makes a pleasant change to have an open discussion regardless of people's opinions so thanks for sharing your story.
I hope you find a resolution along the way x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you lovely fabbers. Its true, guys do seem to get a harder time on here. Thank you for your well wishes. I went 7 years on complete celibacy before cracking last time. Maybe I'll take up jigsaws Porn ones  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off!
It's true though. "
I'm not going to lie and say i didn't have the same thought as well...... I absolutely think what he said was fair comment.....
there is also another thought i had... but i am sure someone else will bring that up, eitherwise i'll just be called a hater.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off!
It's true though.
I'm not going to lie and say i didn't have the same thought as well...... I absolutely think what he said was fair comment.....
there is also another thought i had... but i am sure someone else will bring that up, eitherwise i'll just be called a hater...."
Spit it out. I'm shit at guessing games.
Is it "advertisement feature"? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Want people to be honest, won't happen but worth a try...if the OP had been a man having to stop "meeting" because his wife had quit her job and wouldn't be able to get out would people be sympathetic or be sating good for being a cheat?
Dont start. I WARNED cheat haters to back off!
It's true though.
I'm not going to lie and say i didn't have the same thought as well...... I absolutely think what he said was fair comment.....
there is also another thought i had... but i am sure someone else will bring that up, eitherwise i'll just be called a hater...."
So what if you are ? Its a public forum. Come on Fabio let's have your twoppence worth. I might not agree. I might not like it but its your thought. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you lovely fabbers. Its true, guys do seem to get a harder time on here. Thank you for your well wishes. I went 7 years on complete celibacy before cracking last time. Maybe I'll take up jigsaws Porn ones "
At the end of the day, you private life is nothing to do with anyone on here. Everyone will have opinions but at the end of the day you do what's right for you. Don't take up jigsaws though, they drive you crazy!!
Tell hubby that you've joined a weekly knitting club and you sanity will remain intact. I'm not here to judge and no-one else has the right to judge although some think that they can. We do what we do for reasons known to ourselves. Hope you manage to sort something.
Mrs SnT xx |
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"
At the end of the day, you private life is nothing to do with anyone on here. Everyone will have opinions but at the end of the day you do what's right for you. Don't take up jigsaws though, they drive you crazy!!
Tell hubby that you've joined a weekly knitting club and you sanity will remain intact. I'm not here to judge and no-one else has the right to judge although some think that they can. We do what we do for reasons known to ourselves. Hope you manage to sort something.
Mrs SnT xx"
Not sure how you can say someone's private life is nothing to do with anyone on here when they have made the decision to post about it on this public forum. Or am I missing something? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you slapntickle. I think the point was people might comment all they want but in the end the decisions are not theirs to make. "
And they don't know you.
Hope you find a way to be happy.
Totally unrelated but I always thought you were over the hills near me. |
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